I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

12

Mar

Jessica Alba Rides Her Bike in Paris of the Day

Jessica Alba went on a romantic bike ride in Paris, you know since it is the city of love, alone. I hear she followed this up with a bottle of wine, some harsh cigarettes, because she’s cliche and alone, because Cash Warren took advantage of the opportunity to get the fuck away from her and stay back home to watch the baby, you know the one she trapped him into suckin’ up his unhappiness and doin’ the right thing by taking her back after he was so close the the escape he could almost taste the groupie whore pussy spread and dripping for him…before getting roped back in.

Posted in:Bike Ride|Jessica Alba|Paris

2009

12

Mar

Bai Ling Borrowed Paris Hilton’s Bra of the Day

I just used all I had for these pictures on the title. This is a disaster, I mean I don’t get who this bitch or what she does, so what would I really have to say about her, that she’s got pretty big cleavage for a fucking asian, I guess I could do that, but it’s better to imagine her useless tits being in the same piece of clothing as Paris’ useless tits, like some kind of bra sharing fetish because there’s nothing wrong with fetishes, if anything it makes these two whores less useless. My dog’s making out with me, and standing on my computer,making it hard to finish up…

Posted in:Bai Ling|cleavage|Tits

2009

12

Mar

Lindsay Lohan Deathwatch of the Day

Lindsay Lohan’s Deathwatch continues…she’s still alive and trying to pack on the pounds by switching up her diet from being a diet coke, cigarette gum, vodka redbull, cocaine diet, to a regular coke, cigarette gum, vodka redbull, cocaine diet. That’s an extra 200 calories a day, so she’s probably not going to bottom out just yet, but you can’t live long off cafeine and other substances, so our day will come. Let’s just hope that this bitch never meets Kelly Clarkson, because that Kelly Clarkson diet plan despite may save Lohan’s life and we don’t want any of that happening….

Here are some really fucking exciting pictures of Lohan and Ronson leaving Ronson’s house to the Filipinos/Mexicans to clean up their lesbian drug addict mess.

Bonus Here’s Some Lohan Slutty Conspiracy of the Day

I got this email. I thought it was funny….

CONSPIRACY THEORY: Where Lindsay Lohan Really Got the Name For Her New Self-Tanner
As many of you probably already know, Lindsay Lohan has her own brand of leggings called “6126 Leggings” and apparently the line has been so successful that she is expanding her line to include another product she loves to wear, self-tanner.  I always thought 6126 was a stupid name for a brand and the name of her self-tanning mist is just as dumb, it’s called Sevin Nyne.  Noticing that Sevin Nyne, is an obvious play on the numbers 7 and 9, I thought to myself, self, maybe 6126 is also a play on numbers?  It only took a quick second to notice that 1+2+6=9, throw the 6 in front of the 126 and bam you got 69!

I guess Lindsay loves the position so much she named her leggings after it which isn’t that much of a stretch considering her current relationship status.  I bet she thought she was so smart disguising it the way she did. 

Further, in regards to her new product, according to http://www.urbandictionary.com, the 79 is simply an enhanced version of the 69.  If she loves the 69 enough to name her leggings after it, then I’m sure she also enjoys the enhanced version enough to name her self-tanner after it!  This time around she tried to hide it by craftily spelling the words in an unconventional fashion but alas, my mind is as dirty as hers and I discovered this little conspiracy theory which I’m sharing here with the world. 

Clever clever…someone call that guy from A Beautiful Mind…or the military…I think we’ve got a code cracker on our hands…someone who can help take down Korea!

Posted in:Deathwatch|Lindsay Lohan

2009

12

Mar

Paris Hilton and her Staged Hawaii Vacation of the Day

If any relationships are real in Hollywood, and not just an extension of their PR strategies, you know where they actually have a soul, connection, love, passion, interest in each other, then the Good Charlotte sister will probably be pretty fucking heavy hearted after seeing these pictures, but not as heavy hearted as when his one true love, his soulmate, his masturbation partner, settled with Nicole Richie and made babies.

Not that it matters because we aren’t faggot’s here and we don’t care about emotions, we believe if fuckin’ whores until our dicks bleed then fuckin’ them some more, you know stringing women along, lying to them, manipulating them and only doing it because they allow us to, not because we’re bad people, but because they are just retarded and like drama, like being mistreated and lied to and love suckin’ dick when they think it’ll get them something. Unfortunately, you’re still a virgin and I’m married to a fat chick I don’t like fucking, but that’s how we should be.

I guess the real joke in all this shit, is that there is no way these pictures aren’t staged, I’ve never gone scuba diving before, but I’m pretty sure there were no paparazzi down there waiting for a celeb just incase they were, but maybe that should be their new strategy, because under water bikini pics, will be something new to jerk off to, and trust me, we’re all lookin’ for that….

The sad news of the day is that Paris was attacked by a shark, but her vagina faught it off and she survived…the shark wasn’t so lucky…and either is this Reinhardt motherfucker.

Here they are getting ice cream…

Posted in:Hawaii|Paris Hilton|Vacation

2009

12

Mar

Britney Spears’ Bikini Ass Picture of the Day

These pictures of Britney came out a couple of days ago, but who the fuck cares when they came out. Someone emailed this picture to me and I felt the need to post it and I don’t necessarily know why. It’s probably got something to do with me having no interest in posting or reading my email today, but it probably has something to do with her ass not being tainted with her beat up crusty face.

I guess I should post the video for F-U-C-K-M-E video cuz it is hot.

Here’s some weird Asian version…

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Britney Spears

2009

12

Mar

Jaoquin Phoenix Has a Stage Fight in Miami of the Day

I got this video from Ashton Kutcher’s twitter, because motherfucker is in the know, and the next Perez, while I am not. I am posting it because this is the kind of comedy I really appreciate. You know the shit you don’t know whether it is real or staged and pretty much fucks with the public and only funny to the people involved while onlookers are thinkin’ what the fuck’s going on here, unless they are clever enough to realize the guy he is fighting is a paid actor and all part of the prank. It’s good planning, good execution, and this kind of shit is so much better than some stand up comedy act. I’ve always wanted to stage stunts like this, I am just fucking lazy, so instead of hating on everything all the time, I’m starting my day with this because it is something I actually dig.


Here’s the source if you care…
GO

Posted in:Jaoquin Phoenix|Prank|Stage Fight

2009

11

Mar

stepLINKS of the Day

The celebration of the day has ended. I realize I was a little lazy and that’s cuz I didn’t sleep, I normally give you more, and I failed you, well get used to it, because people always let each other down, I mean assuming you even notice I update the site on a regular basis, which I doubt, since I only have one fan. I know that shit is repetitive but I am a little OCD and that’s what runs through my head over and over and over and over again everytime I write a stupid post no one will read. I always wonder why I don’t just post the pictures, but then again I also wonder what a vagina would smell like if you accidentally shit in it while the bitch was sleeping and whether that’s even possible…. So what I wonder probably doesn’t matter but my LINKS do so click them….


Put a Slut Through College, And BE Happy You’re Helping the Future
GO

Surprise! Hayden Pantyairs Is a Little Fucking Bitch
GO

An Amazing Informercial Blooper Reel
(This is Long and Awesome!)
GO

The 9 Hottest Chinese Women
GO

Cops is the Best SHow on TV, And NOw It’s Gotten Ever Better
GO

Beyonce in a Swimsuit Is Always Nice on the Eyes
GO

Under Rhianna’s Dumbrella
GO

Stop Peeing in the Woods Like a Hobo!
GO

Erica Eliison Wants You To See Her Video
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Claudia Jordan Was a Barker’s Beauty
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

See Paris Hilton’s Herpes Leaking Out of Her Bikini Here
GO

David and Goliath Shows Up at Barbies 50th Birthday Party
GO

Put Your Pussy Away, Grandma
GO

Halle Berry is Sexy No Matter What
GO

Claudia Schiffer Has Still Got It
GO

I Will Never Understand These Fashion Cunts
GO

Okay She’s Old, But I Would Still Bang Her
GO

William Shatner’s Face is a Death Mask
GO

What Do You Do About a Steaming Vagina?
GO

This is Pretty Much The Cruelest Thing a Chick Can Do to a Guy Ever
GO

William Tell Slap Shot
GO

Casey Hayes Hotness
GO

Wax My Ass, Please
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Bouncing Tits Always Make For Good Times
GO

Mommy Dearest – Mexico Edition
GO

Fuck You and Your Hummer
GO

Brutal Gymnastics Accident
GO

I Like It When Vida Guerra is Around
GO

Nelly Furtado Various Pics
GO

Sluts Know How to Party
GO

DJ AM Almost Died Again
GO

Some News on the Whores Next Door
GO

How About Some JOdie Mansfield
GO

Kellt Clarkson Pees in the Shower
GO

Office Grande Prix is Fucking Amazing
GO

You Want Fries With That?
GO

I Forgot How Hot Katie Holmes Looks When Shes Not Trying to Look Like Tom Cruise
GO

The Five Most Annoying Popular Catchphrases I Currently Loathe
GO

Fun With Turtle Porn
GO

Hot For Teacher
GO

Some Party Girls
GO

Find Me on Other Parts of the Internet….


Yeah, I know, if you don’t follow me on Twitter, you’re a fucking asshole.

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

11

Mar

Katy Perry Tits Do Esquire of the Day

I was on this Celebration kick all day and I have to balance it out with these pictures of Katy Perry, because even with her tits, there’s nothing worth celebrating. She doesn’t deserve to be famous and tits aren’t enough to get you famous and I like to think that either is sucking dick to the top, but I’m sure I’m wrong about that one, since Katy Perry has a career…oh right…she has a career cuz she kissed a girl, I guess that’s not really the same thing. Check out her tits, they may be celebrating something, but she’s makin it hard for me to join in on the festivities…

Posted in:cleavage|Esquire|Katy Perry|Tits

2009

11

Mar

Phoebe Price and Her Fatty Lips of the Day

Phoebe Price has reason to celebrate because the paparazzi took a fucking picture of her and that means she counts. Good job Phoebe. I gotta say I like her party get up, those lips are what weird dude with anime fetishes would totally love to get their hands on to use as a pocket pussy and imagine the glorious sensation of getting your dick sucked.

Speaking of getting my dick sucked, I think I need to leave my wife because she’s being retired like a Jersey at a basketball game, only without all the glory, you know now that I have international Twitter success, internet succes it’s time to start fuckin’ bitches I don’t know badly, send in your pictures, I’m ready and promise you the worst sex with the smallest dick you can imagine if you’re down with a little treasure hunt through all the fat….it’s a celebration of disgusting…

Posted in:Fake Lips|Fatty Lips|Phoebe Price

2009

11

Mar

Jordan Getting Her Uterus Grabbed of the Day

So Jordan was out in some tight pants with her husband the other day and motherfucker grabbed her ass, because that’s what you can do when you own a bitch, even if she is the breadwinner for the household and actually owns you, it’s an animal channel situation, look it up, but I noticed that homeboy is doing a lot more uterus grabbing than ass grabbing and there’s gotta be a reason for that….

Sure in Jordan’s case, you’d expect him to be forced to massage her lady parts every hour on the hour so that they don’t harden, you know, since she’s one HPV outbreak away from a a hystorectomy, but I have a feeling she’s knocked up with another ball of retard mush, oh wait that wasn’t politically correct, I meant to say, special needs mush it is the new millenium after all……

It would explain her towel bikini from the other day, and that is a drunkenstepfather.com made up exclusive.

Sure I need to pass the fuck out…but how can I when it comes to such amazing news, sure who really cares if she’s knocked up or not other than the couples involved and child protective services and maybe Toys R’ Us for the potential income, not to mention all the doctors and nurses they’ll need to hire to make sure it survives developing in a pit of dry semen and period blood, but it’s a celebration never the less, so let’s give the lucky couple a big HOORAH you know, for their whole bringing new life into this cold dead world, even if it ends up a flipper, and cheer these cunts on as they ride their rollerblades, it’s like this was a 1975 10th Birthday in a New Jersey roller-rink.

Posted in:Grab|Jordan|Uterus