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Sara Sampaio Shows Off her Pussy in Tight Pants Under the Guise that it is a Fitness Video of the Day

Industry Flesh Puppet Jessica Alba Propagandizes for the Machine of the Day

Sydney Sweeney is Glamour’s Woman of the Year of the Day

Paige Spiranac Feeling Herself Up of the Day

Margaret Qualley is Hot for an Ugly Chick of the Day

2008

Aug

Lily Allen Nipple Slip Brawl of the Day

8 Comments »

Lily Allen doesn’t like bras but she does like brawls.

Here she is coming out of a club drunk with her nipple floppin every which way, not because it’s looking for a baby to feed because it’s still got remnants of the sour milk from her short lived pregnancy, but because she doesn’t give a fuck if the world sees her tits because she’s given up.

It’s like this woman I knew who tried so hard to have a baby for years and years and who ended up killing herself because of the emptiness she felt. Near the end of her life, it was pretty obvious she had given up, not only was she doing tons of drugs, but she was also walking around her apartment complex naked, and one day even went grocery shopping in her undewear, unshowered and was taken to the psych ward, that didn’t do a whole lot of good for her, because when she got home she ended it all.

The truth is that all that was crazy, but not nearly as crazy as her toilet that was filled with blood and fetus from her last miscarriage that she refused to flush and would sleep next to at night calling it Charlie the name she intended to give it while screaming and crying. It was a fuckin’ horror show, but she’s in a better place now with all those dead babies.

Unfortunately for Lily Allen, she’s not in a better place, she’s just falling apart, self-medicating and fighting, I hope the girl on the receiving end realizes that she’s dealing with a muderer, it’s one of those never fight someone you don’t know cuz they may have a weapon situations, only in this case Lily Allen’s uterus is her weapon, shit kills babies and that’s pretty fucking psycho. Either way, here’s her nipple.

Posted in:Lily Allen|Nipple|Slip

2008

Aug

Hollywood Undead NSFW Music Video of the Day

10 Comments »

Here’s a music video to start the day by a band I am glad I never heard of, it’s like that rap metal shit from a couple years ago that all you fucking losers would rock out to in your pick up trucks, but the video has a lot of sluts, showing tit, dyking out, runnin around in their underwear and that makes it good enough for me as long as shit’s on mute.

They are probably pornstars or local strippers lookin’ for a new venue to show off their tits and I am okay with sluts being creative in ways and places to show their tits, I figure if they pay for them, they might as well get them out there for more people to see and that makes it better to jerk off to to that Clay Aiken music video that rubbed you the right way, you weirdo.

Posted in:Hollywood Undead|Music Video

2008

Aug

stepLINKS of the Day

9 Comments »

I tried to get you some original content at the MTV VMA’s but got this email today:

Dear Jesus Martinez,

Unfortunately due to the growing number of requests and the limited amount of space, we will not be able to accommodate your credential
request for the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards. Thank you for your interest!

All the best,

MTV Communications

Well someone just rained on my fucking parade.

That said, everything MTV, I’m talking new shitty shows, current shitty shows and anything else MTV touches, including their attempt to be cool with Vice TV is banned on this site due to the growing number of requests I have been making for girls to send me nude pics, which really has nothing to do with anything but you’re still banned so fuck you cocksuckers at MTV. We’re breaking up and you don’t exist to me.

Here are my links….

10 Hottest Hawaiian Tropic Bikini Videos….
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Michael Phelps is Banging Amanda Beard To Make Olympic Swimming Babies…
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Which Bikini Would You Rather Fuck
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The 5 Hottest Paraguayan Women
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Hot Aussie Holly Valance in Some Hot Photoshoot For You Perverts….
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And Here I Thought Parks Were Just For Staring at Small Children
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Matt Lauer and Al Roker Are Amazing and By Amazing, I Don’t Mean Shitty, I Really Mean Amazing
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Lauren Mai Looks Delicious in Shit Lingerie
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Maybe Lohan Has Been Gay All Along and By Gay I Mean Looking For Attention
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A Shitload of Celeb Nip Slips
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Remember the Article About Chinese Guy Who Got Caught Humping a Bench?
Here’s the Video
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Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
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The Olive Garden Hates Kendra Wilkinson
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And That’s Why You Don’t Try to Outrun Trains
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Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
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Okay We Get It. You Like Yogurt
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Jewel Gordon Make Me Wanna Go Downunder
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Red Necks + Axe = Comedy
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Ahh to Be a College Aged Female
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Amy Leigh Andrews Is All Natural
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Find Girls to Fuck. Do You Really Need a Reason?
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Geeky Amateur
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Victoria Silvstedt Will Most Probably Sue Me Over Linking This. Oh Well
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Kelly Bundy’s Cancer Tits Aren’t So Cancerous Anymore
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Jennifer Lopez is Braindead and Needs to Be Punched in the Face
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More Proof Britny Can’t Sing
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Ellen’s Gay Wedding Photos and By Gay I Don’t Mean Shitty, I Just Mean Gay
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I Don’t Know How to Say This Delicately, But Kate Hudson Needs to Put Her Vagina on the Shelf For Awhile
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Striptease of the Day – MILF Edition
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An Awesome Compilation of Girls Gone Solo
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Motorcycle Stunt Gona Bad
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Porn Star Bike Ride
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Awesome Self Shot Gallery
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Use This to Help You Get Sex. Virgin
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Damn, I Almost Forgot How Hot Shakira Was
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Natalie in the Snow
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Lily Allen Threw Down Outside a London Nightclub
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Motor Cycle Mayhem
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I Pary Everyday I Will One Day Learn to Surf
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Can Someone Just Do me a Favor and Kill Rumer Willis?
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Traci Bingham, What the Fuck Are You Wearing?
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Abby Brookes and Her Giant Cans
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Eveytime I see this Photo, I think Michael Phelps is in a One Piece Bathig Suit
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Jennifer Ellison Says How D’you Do!!
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Say Hello to Miss September
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Have Some Fun, Fuck With Your Mailman
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

Aug

Nicole Scherzinger’s On a Yacht in a Bikini of the Day

7 Comments »

Nicole Scherzinger is in a bikini and reminded me of a conversation with an older stripper who gave me some discount dances because keeping up with the young girls wasn’t really doing good for her bank account. She tried to claim that there are dudes who go in there and who want 45 year old mom tits in their face, but I knew she was just trying to lure me into a dance and it was a sales tactic to make me think that there was something wrong with me for not wanting 45 year old tits in my hands for 10 dollars a song, it’s something I feel isn’t too hard to make happen in real life for free, so I’m better off going with 18 year old sluts.

Either way, she won me over with her obvious desperation, something I could relate to and we got to talking about the next step for her career. I told her she should start a pole dance class for suburban moms because they eat that shit up and she could make a killing doing it since stripping has pretty much dried up and she laughed at my idea….I haven’t figured out where I am going with this, but I do know that Scherzinger and her Pussycat Dolls are just lucky strippers who don’t need to get naked, which is a real waste considering how good the black light and smoke machines would make her haggard face look.

Posted in:Bikini|Nicole Scherzinger|Yacht

2008

Aug

Kate Beckinsale’s Snorkeling of the Day

5 Comments »

I know that Kate Beckinsale has a huge fan base and that fan base is probably so excited to see her in her bikini that they have already jerked off to these before I’ve even posted them, but in their defense, I am pretty slow moving on posting new content.

Well here she is going for a little snorkel with some dude I assume impregnated her, I guess it’s a nice change of pace for her to have something in her mouth, instead of in her vagina, proven by the fact that she has a kid. I guess she wasn’t aware that if you finish a dude with your mouth these kinds of things don’t happen, or she just totally disregarded that and got to into it, begging him to cum inside her without realizing the consequences…..

Either way, She’s got a great body for someone who has a kid, it’s like a rare phenomenon that rarely happens unless the person pumping out the baby has them before they are 20, or if they have an eating disorder or budget to hire personal trainers to get in shape like shit’s a full time job. Another rare phenomenon – me being funny when tryng to write about some chick I don’t care about in a bikini….

Posted in:Bikini|Kate Beckinsale|Snorkeling

2008

Aug

Some Rich Kids Doing the Cha Cha Slide of the Day

4 Comments »

I just figured out how to steal people’s facebook videos and that is an exciting discovery for someone like me, who don’t even know how to send a fucking email.

The reason I am posting this one is because it’s a bunch of people doing the Cha Cha Slide or some shit that I saw on Oprah one day when sitting on a friend’s couch and she had this kid who was in McDonald’s Videos who looked semi retarded doing the shit and I died laughing at him despite being named a prodigy in the dance.

The other reason I am posting this video is – Green Bikini and a whole lot of other funny that doesn’t need to be mentioned (gay dude).

Here’s the Oprah Clip…

Here’s the kid in the Oprah Video doing the McDonald’s Commercial….

Posted in:Cha Cha|Rich Kid

2008

Aug

Miley Cyrus in Some Staged “Being 15 Years Old” Pictures of the Day

7 Comments »

Some girls stage bikini pictures to get attention, Miley Cyrus on the other hand stages bike riding pictures, trying to secure the idea of her being a wholesome 15 year old virgin who likes doing normal 15 year old things, while we all know she’s grown up too fast, has become a cocky spoiled brat of a girl, who in no way hasn’t had sex despite making claims that she doesn’t. It’s the Paris Hilton generation and at any given time that big breasted stupid girl in the corner willing to listen to you talk her ear off in exchange for a free drink and who gets drunk enough off that drink to suck you off in the bathroom like she thinks she’s supposed to, is actually a 15 year old girl. Not that that has ever happened to you, but at the rate things are going, sluts are younger and younger and probably will and you won’t say no because a one drink blowjob from a minor is a great return on investment, until their father finds out and breaks your fuckin’ legs for being a fuckin’ pedophile.

So the real sicknes in all this is not that young girls fuck, or that Miley Cyrus fucks it’s that you wish you were that bike seat and since even you and your delusions know that isn’t possible, would totally settle with just smelling the seat. That makes me feel uncomfortable.

Posted in:Bike|Miley Cyrus

2008

Aug

Kelly Brook and Her White Bikini of the Day

7 Comments »

Kelly Brook was out in a bikini, I am guessing because it is summer and that’s what people do, but for some reason all you assholes at your offices or mom’s basements find this shit so fucking exciting that you need to see it and I have nothing better to do than post it, so I guess it all works out in the end.

What also works out for me is that she’s wearing a white bikini bottom, which has been a fetish of mine for the last few years after spending a hot day at a public pool with my wife because we were scared she was going to die of heat exhaustion and I saw these eighteen year old girls, swimming, tanning and playing around in the water in their white bikinis, without realizing or realizing and not caring that I could see their full pussies and nipples and was the closet the public pool has ever got to being a naked pool and naked pools are something I am down with, especially when the girls don’t look like my wife, like Kelly Brook doesn’t look like my wife. Enjoy.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

Aug

Audrina from the Hills in Another Bikini of the Day

8 Comments »

Audrina may not be smart, or very good looking, unless of course you are the kind of guy who volunteers at institutions designed for handicapped people because you find them so fuckin’ sexy with their chronic masturbations and glassy eyed, drooling smile, but she does have a rockin’ body and I am all for girls who lack substance and beauty making up for it through working out, eating disorders and even a good set of fake tits, even if I hate fake tits, they are sometimes nice to look at if done right and despite hating everything this fake bitch stands for, I can’t dis the boob job cuz she was done proper and it’s not like I’m fucking her or paying her for lap dances and forced to suck or grab at the hard weirdness implants feel like. I’m just window shopping….

Speaking of shopping, it’s nice to see that Audrina has taken some time away from wasting her life and filling her days with spending ridiculous amounts of money on designer clothes to fill her empty life and has got into her bikini, because when you have pretty much nothing to do with your days except star in a shitty reality show I want to see hit by a terrorist attack, you might as well do it half naked.

I guess her life is one that should be envied, but that’s not saying much coming from me because I envy the weirder shit life has to offer, like the other day when drunk, I went into a gas station to grab some candy at 5 am and saw some cracked out hooker walking around in bare feet, screaming at the clerk and trying to be lead back into the cab she came from by her John and the cab driver, only to end up pissing herself and making a mess all over the floor and being abandoned by the cab. It was nice to see that she was so fucked up she had no concept of anything going on around her, the world was her to do what she wanted, when she wanted, with no fear of getting raped or killled and the conventions everyone else has to follow like having a job, being civil and wearing shoes. The whole time I was thinking to myself how much better her life was than mine, so I guess my expectations are pretty low.

Here’s Audrina in that bikini.

Posted in:Audrina|Bikini|The Hills

2008

Aug

Jimmy Hendrix Sex Tape Clip of the Day

1 Comment »

Here’s some of the controversial as to whether it’s true or not, Jimmy Hendrix threesome video. I do know that shit looks grainy as hell and the girls in it have some big fuckin’ bush, the kind that works its way down their leg and makes finding the actually pussy an excting treasure hunt you used to have when you were a kid and your babysitter got a little more creative than you understood at the time but still jerk off to to this day. The point is that it reminds me of the first porn videos I used to make love to myself to and whether it is Hendrix or not doesn’t really matter, but in a time like the 70s, the only black dudes fucking 2 white chicks had to be famous, because we were a lot more racist then. So here’s some pre-AIDS celebrity porn to start the day.

To find out more follow this link
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Posted in:Jimmy Hendrix|Sex Tape