I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

01

Apr

Mary Carey and Her Retarded Tits of the Day

There was something that happened in porn in the 90s that is still going on today because I guess the same old perverts are still buying the movies that made girls think that turning their tits into some kind of disgusting through surgery, dying their hair blond and fucking on camera was all it would take to make them appealing to all men like some kind of low budget sex symbol. In their minds they are hot and more desirable than Marilyn Monroe was in her time without realizing that they are nothing more than glorified hookers and strippers that are just tools in making lonely dudes cum. I guess when you’re a high school drop out from a small town who was molested as a child, delusion is the only way to really live with your worthless self and fake tits are the only way to distract people from the cancer that you know is brewing inside you but don’t want to admit so you just play dumb. I guess i know nothing about this shit, but I do know that Mary Carey’s tits are retarded and that you like tits even if they are on retards so I am posting them.

Posted in:Mary Carey|Tits

2008

01

Apr

Pamela Bach is the Reason for Hasselhoff’s Drinking of the Day

You may not know who Pamela Bach is, but she is the reason David Hasselhoff turned to the bottle. Everyone thought that it was because he was David Hasselhoff and the only way he was able to live with himself and his joke of a career was to spend his earnings drinking , but instead it was because of whatever hostage crisis this bitch put him through when she married him to be part of his prestigious life and by prestigious I mean second rate TV show celebrity. I am not sure what is more amazing, the fact that girls are so easily impressed by a dude after a life of disappointment that all you need to do is get on a shitty TV show to get in their pants because they think you are famous enough to let in their vagina and impregnate them, because the last guy who they let do that worked as a trucker in their home town and was a good customer at the dinner they worked at, or the fact that David Hasselhoff was able to convince a girl to marry him despite being an embarrassment to both his family and anyone who ever crossed paths with him. Unfortunately for the Hoff, he jumped at the first vagina that came his way and had no idea that she was more primate than human on that evolutionary chart leading to alcoholism just to fall asleep at night and now alcoholism to just deal with the aftermath of the marriage. I’m sure we’ve all been there and banged girls we shouldn’t have just because they offered and we knew better than to say no because we didn’t know the next time it would happen again and the good news for Hasselhoff is that we now have a little more sympathy for that fucker.

Posted in:Bikini|Hasselhoff|Pamela Bach

2008

01

Apr

Miley Cyrus Showing Off Her Teenage Legs of the Day

I guess one of the good things about 15 year old girls is that they don’t have cellulite like they will when they actually become women, but they are so annoying when all they want to watch is Hannah Montana reruns, especially when they are Hannah Montana.

I don’t find anything appealing about these pictures, other than knowing that bitch is probably the next in line for an abortion at the on studio abortion clinic they are rockin’ over at Disney and this bitch and her crooked smile don’t have shit on the 15 year old girls I see out in clubs dancing on the bar like they were 25 and lookin’ for a one night stand because I was out at a bar this past weekend and this girl with braces walks up to the girl next to me and brags about how she got into the club and didn’t get carded, I turn to her and ask how old she is and she says 13 and runs off to a group of 16 year old dudes who pour Grey Goose down her throat and get her to flash them her panties and I realize that I was born in the wrong generation and Paris Hilton deserves a little more credit that she’s getting for breeding a generation of herpes by 14 that I won’t be a part of because I’m just too damn old and will just have to accept the fact that it’s yet another thing I’ve missed out on in my life which is just another example of how Paris Hilton contributed to my miserable life…..

Posted in:Legs|Miley Cyrus|Short Skirt

2008

01

Apr

Maria Menounos is Joggin’ in a Sports Bra of the Day

Maria Menounos is running and I can only assume it’s because she either realized she had a big fat greek ass or maybe it’s because she gorged on Baklava and this is a guilty run from overeating, but it doesn’t really matter because, like most greek chicks I know she’s got a pretty flat stomach that I don’t mind staring at because I know the minute bitch turns around the tight body goes South and by South I mean she’s packing more meat than the butcher at the grocery store on Independence Day weekend. The thing I’ve always liked about big greek ass is how easy it is to slip my dick in it, like shit’s naturally lubricated with olive oil in some kind of twisted cultural genetic flaw that explains all their historical anal sex with young student stories, but then again I’ve never had a hard time having anal with any girl, my girth is just that pathetic.

Posted in:Greek|Maria Menounos|Stomach|Tits

2008

01

Apr

Jessica Sutta is a Lonely Pussycat Doll of the Day

Seeing a Pussycat Doll alone throws me off because I realize how ugly they are. It’s like having a threesome with two ugly chicks who combined with a willingness to suck your dick at the same time makes them worth getting hard for, or going to a stripclub on a night when all the girls are uglier than your wife but still worth getting a dance from just for the sake of grabbing new tits to add a new life to your relationship by making you happy your busted up soul mate shares a bed with you every night. Sure bitch is showing off her tight body from all her poledance classes in a pair of tight pants while pretty much posing in a way that makes her look ready and willing for cock, but without her sidekicks, she just looks like a drunk, horny, middle aged girl I’d still fuck when drunk and not so much like a popstar. The real issue is where the fuck the Pussycat Dolls recruit their talent, because it seems to be the same place I go to get laid if I’m willing to pay a little extra.

Either way, her name is Jessica Sutta and she’s in Miami at some music festival promoting something that may be a solo career, or maybe she’s just there to sit on the speaker while the bass is jacked up to remind her of the days she dated a dude with a motorcycle.

Posted in:Alone|Jessica Sutta|Pussycat Doll

2008

01

Apr

Mena Suvari’s Thong Bikini of the Day

Here are some pictures of Mena Suvari rockin’ a thong bikini because she’s so hardcore that she doesn’t care if people see her in a thong. She is like every Russian person vacationing on the beaches of Vietnam who seem to love wearing the smallest bathing suits possible like it ain’t a thang when it definitely is a thang because they are fucking old, fat and disgusting. Maybe it’s a communist thing and they feel so liberated that they don’t have to wear rationed state-issued bathing suits and dress like their comrades so they get ridiculous, but I know it is the kind of ridiculous that makes vacationing at Russian hotspots an experience that will test your sexuality and leave you asexual for a little while before coming back and getting back to the porn you are used to.

I never thought Mena Suvari was much to look at, her wonky head brought back memories of retards walking down the street with helmets on holding a rope so none of them get lost and her body is a little too stacked making me think she’s either a lesbian or some kind of female body builder. She’s with some shaved head dude who probably has a penis so that theory is thrown into the lesbian filing cabinet, unless of course that is just a chick tanning topless with a shaved head who does the whole bull dyke, sexually ambiguous thing better than a plaid shirt/construction boot, crew cut wearing fat dyke I’ve seen, because lets face it, based on his stance he looks like the kind of asshole who spends more time in front of a mirror making sure his Tattoos show off through the collar and sleeves of his shirt just right and that his sunglasses are on just right before leaving the house, something an average dude with a normal dude wouldn’t bother with, unless he was going through some kind of sexually identity crisis. That’s just my theory but I have been wrong before…in fact, I am pretty much always wrong.

Posted in:Bikini|Mena Suvari|Thong

2008

01

Apr

Janice Dickinson is 50 and Rockin’ a Bikini of the Day

Plastic surgery seems to work because Janice Dickinson is in her 50s and the only thing that scared me a little was her old flat ass, but I can look past that considering I am the same guy who used to get hard sponge bathing old ladies when I worked as an orderly at the old folks home before getting fired and I can’t forget my roots. Not to mention that pretty much every girl I’ve slammed has had a worse ass than this mess, but I am the kind of guy who takes whatever I can get even if it was disgusting because my penis could always see past that. I have a feeling that getting with someone like Janice Dickinson is that bitch has seen more cock than my uncle Hector who was a chicken farmer, yeah that joke sucked but it’s not really a joke because it’s true and I bet she is the closest thing you sick serial killer readers can get to fuckin’ a real live corpse that’s vagina still gyrates because it has a life of it’s own and the body is still kinda warm . I am not sure what I am talking about but I am hooked on these pics.

More Pictures from Her Vacation….

Bonus – Janice Dickinson Does a Commercial for Orbit that I don’t Understand

Posted in:Bikini|Janice Dickinson|Tits

2008

01

Apr

Kardashian Sisters Teach Their Young Sister About Her Period of the Day

I didn’t know that the Kardashians had a younger version, but then again I don’t watch the show and have pretty much no interest in this family, but thought it was funny that Kim Kardashian wasn’t teaching her sister about shoving things in her vagina or bleeding from her uterus because you’d think it was something she was good at, but instead she just sat there under her blanket like the diva cunt that she is. So if puberty is your fetish, this videos for you. I am just waking up and late as per usual, something Kim Kardashian is also probably used to and probably another reason why she doesn’t want to teach her sister about her body.

Bonus: Here are the Kardashian Sisters on Chelsea Lately Because I’ve Seen Her Show and She’s Kinda Funny even though I am too sad to laugh and expect to be on her show one day because she’s pretty low budget.

Part 2:

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Period|puberty

2008

01

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

So it turns out that the paparazzi do not like the little guy and are trying to stomp me out. I have been getting attacked by these fuckers for the last 2 years but a lot more often in the last 2 months. The future of celebrity blogs is pretty much over for anyone who makes less than 10,000 dollars a month (me) because these agencies charge you 5,000 for access to their pictures a month, or they charge you for each picture used which can be upwards of 20,000 dollars for one post. Totally insane it seems, but all my pictures are emailed to me, so I only assume they belong to the person who emails me but it turns out that these paparazzi agencies like to think they belong to them. I always remove the pictures when I get a warning because I honestly just assume they are free for me to do my commentary to since they are found objects and since I don’t want to mess with evil people, it’s easier to just trust their evil word.

Today I got a fuckin’ invoice from one of the agencies for 55,000 dollars:

To Whom it May Concern

We are writing you because it seems we are having a continuous
problem with your use of our pictures on your site, illegally. We have attached an invoice with total amount due up to this point for the pictures you have used. You must pay this amount within the next 30 day or we will take further legal actions.
You may contact Nicolas at 323-833-7042 if you have any further questions.

Thanks
Jamie
Flynet Pictures LLC

This was my response:

To whom it may concern,

I never contracted images from your company and have no working business relationship with Flynet LLC. I have no idea what images you are referencing and invoicing me for, however I can assure you that these images were never purchased from your company. This invoice is not valid and has wrongfully issued to drunkenstepfather.com.

However, I am glad you reached out because I have linked FlynetOnline.com and sent 6,000 clicks at a rate of 100 dollars per click, amounting to 60,000 dollars.

Attached you will find the invoice,

With Love,
Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

This isn’t the end of the site, no one can bring me down, but they are fucking trying. I can’t afford to fight this shit so I may have to change the format of the site so if anyone has exclusive pics of celebs, or goes out in LA and snaps pics and gives them to me, I will give you presents and by presents I mean nude pics of my wife, which aren’t exactly a treat but they are the best I can do.

Here are my links:

Jennifer Aniston Poses With Ass Cracks…Everyone Click This Fuckin’ Link….
GO

Vanity Fair’s Senior Citizen Exclusive!!
GO

And Now, The Best 30 Seconds of Your Day
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Undo Your Mom’s Bra With One Hand
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Paris Hilton Busts Up Her Already Busted Face
GO

Nip Slips With the Stars
GO

Use This to Find Sex,Cause You Need all The Help You Can Get
GO

Hello Elsa Benitez and your Nakedness
GO

What the Fuck Did Lara Flynn Boyle Do to Her Face?
GO

Something You Can Never Have because You Don’t Leave Your House
GO

Start Your Week Off Right with a Sex Show
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Fat Man Eats 5 Double Cheeseburgers
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Obama Girl Versus Hilary Girl Cry for Fame
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Top 10 Big Breasted Weather Girls
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A Reader Wants to Know if This is Sarah Silverman
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If IT’s High Res Enough, I Guess She’s Not REALLY Naked, But Whatever
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Well, It’s Official, I Am Moving to Isreal
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Whoever Told You Sex Was More Fun Alone Was Wrong
GO

Why Can’t Every Cancer Survivor Look Like Kylie Minogue?
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Rock of Love 2: Gangbangin’ Daisy
GO

I Am Pretty Sure Madonna Could Kick The Shit Out of Both You and Me
GO

Whoa! Time For Some More Surgey Janice Dickenson’s Ass
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Turn Your PC Into a Media Host for Your PS3
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Brenda Walsh is Still Alive?
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Porn Galore Cheaper than a Whore
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More Face Plants Off the Pole
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Remote Control Sex!
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Make a Ketchup Bottle Explode!
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A Little Bit of Christy Hemme
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Some Vibrator Pleasure, For Her and Your Pleasure
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Jessica Alba is Massive
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Jessica Simpson is in the Hospital
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Next Time I Wear a Suit (Prolly at my Funeral) I Am Going To Wear This Tie
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Luscious Perscilla is a Hustler
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Heather Mills is a Really Respectable Women
GO

Lindsey Lohan to Kill Sharon Tate All Over Again
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Some Music Video From Some Country I’ve Never Been To That I Think Is Funny
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If THis Was Me, I Would Have Slugged the Bitch
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SNL Hates AShley Simpson and I Hate SNL
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Nekkid Bowling!!
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Candice Michelle Gives a Nude Lap Dance
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She’s Got Amy Winehouse Eyes
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Reader James Leary Does Standup
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Krystal Forscutt is Monday’s Pick Me Up
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FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Some Girl’s Homemade Nudes
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Some Sluts Tits
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FROM THE FORUM:

The Kooks – Konk
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Kaki King – Until We Felt red
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Papa Roach – Infest
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The Raconteurs – LIVE in Chicago
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Moby – Hotel
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Metric – Grow Up and Blow Away
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Yelle – Pop-Up
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Neil Young – Greatest Hits
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The Cure – Mixed Up
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King Crimson – 1972
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The 5th Element OST
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Dance With Me OST
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Westward 2 Heroes of the Frontier
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Paragon Partition Manager 9.0 Pro
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Slightly Used Rubber Fist for Sale
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Nikie Feels Herself
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Young With Big Tits
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Ass for dayyyyys
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Elbow – Asleep in the Back
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The Runaways
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Kenny G – Paradise
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The Kills – Midnight Boom
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Evanescence – Anywhere but Home
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Marvin Gaye’s Greatest Hits
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Steve Aoiki – Pillowface
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Paul McCartney – Back in the World
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Fatboy Slim – Halfway Between The Gutter And The Stars
GO

Dont spend your raise
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Teach Yourself HTML in 10 minutes
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Your Old and Have a Small Penis
GO

Falcon Punch!!
GO

Meagan Foxx = Foxxy
GO

Goh Feels Herself
GO

Liana Shevchenko is HOTT!
GO

Random Amatuers
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More Young and Top Heavy
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Teachers having Sex With Students
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

31

Mar

Lindsay Lohan’s Got Some Booty of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Lohan isn’t my internet girlfriend anymore, I’ve moved on from her like everyone else has. I just don’t find her worth harassing anymore and she hasn’t really been that responsive to my emails, phone calls or myspace messages and she’s not very hot. I thought she would be my meal ticket, but I just can’t have this one-way relationship anymore and I have given up.

Last week I reached out to her Lesbian cock on Facebook and she never responded to me so in memory of a Lohan that was once worth fuckin and who was once going to be the girl who makes me relevant, here are some pictures of her from the side in a pair of tight pants that show off her booty. Since I am a fan of booty and tight pants pants are the reason I leave my house and hang out at college campuses like I am the dirty professor until security escorts me out for propositioning random girls to pose naked for me in my art class I don’t actually teach, here’s Lohan’s ass doing good things proving that sometimes weight gain is a good thing since Lohan never had a good ass, the problem with weight gain is that it never stops when the tits and ass are full, and it’s never too long before the stomach and rest of her follows their lead.

See the Images Here
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Posted in:Ass|Booty|Lindsay Lohan