I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

21

Nov

I am – Le Call in a Bikini of the Day

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You don’t know who this bitch is and either do I, but the word on the internet is that she’s Owen Wilson’s supermodel girlfriend who I’ve never heard of, but then again, I am not good with remembering names or celebrities, I only remember vaginas.

The thing I like about Owen Wilson is that he tried to kill himself and failed. I always find failed suicide the biggest fuckin’ joke, not because I am into people dying or anything like that, but because you know when a motherfucker hates themselves so much and wishes they were dead and decide to actually go through with it because they are failures and suck at life so much and don’t deserve to live and end up failing at that too, it’s like can’t you get anything right you fucking loser.

I knew a dude who jumped off an overpass onto a freeway back in the day, his logic was that if he doesn’t die, he’ll at least get run over, but what ended up happening was two broken legs and few other broken bones and some head injury and no cars ran him over, and no one called an ambulance for him for 4 hours, because he did it late at night in some deserted part of the highway that no one was driving on and now dudes half retarded and has a limp and everytime I see him I can’t help but laugh.

I guess the good news for Owen Wilson is that he is lucky he didn’t end up dying and that he got a new lease on life, because it seems to be working out for him alright, this girl is much higher quality than that damaged Kate Hudson trash, even though the girl only with him because she’s using him to get her name out there because she knows there’s going to be media attention since he tried killing himself, and I’ve never been too worried about girls using dudes as long as they are putting out, because shit’s usually less expensive than hiring whores.


Related Posts:

There’s No Way Kate Hudson Could Lead Anyone to Suicide
Kate Hudson Bikini Pics To Use for Comparison
Karolina Kurkova’s Ass in Intense Shorts Because She is a Supermodel
Some Rachel Hunter Bikini Pictures Because She Was a Supermodel

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Le Call|Supermodel|Unsorted

2007

21

Nov

I am – GQ Does Photoshoots of the Day

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Since it’s Thanksgiving, I’d like everyone to take a moment for our troops in Iraq who can’t be home for this really special holiday weekend and are instead fighting for our freedom. Thanks guys! I’m just joking….because Thanksgiving isn’t a real holiday. It’s more of a joke.

I don’t understand why you American assholes make such a big deal out of it. I am in Canada and we got a day off back in October, even though everyday is a day off for me. I don’t understand why you have movies about Thanksgiving weekend or 4 -5 day weekends for the shit, it’s a bigger deal than Christmas and I can only assume that the Jews are behind this shit.

Either way, I would like to give thanks to GQ for always getting hot pics and good photographers hustlin’ their magazine’s celebrity spreads and apparently they hired a magician or some kind of tribal miracle worker because Hayden Panettiere actually looks good enough to stop trying to convince to join my DrunkenStepfather carnival and watch shower instead. I am hoping she doesn’t get the wrong idea and think she actually looks like she does in these pics, even though we can all agree we wish her actual self will turn into her picture-self, because that’s just going to be fuel to the fire that is her ego that already thinks she’s the hottest troll to hit the mainstream.

They also did some sexually suggestive Rihanna pictures, but bitch is always sexually suggestive so it’ not that big of a deal, but I’ll post them anyway, because I’m accommodating like she was before she was famous, back home on the island she comes from, workin’ at resorts and whorin’ out to a lot of rich married Americans hoping that one of them would fall for her talent and give her the big break, and by big break, I mean knock her up, forcing them to marry her and bring her to America, so that she can take 5 day weekends to celebrate thanksgiving too. Because having days off for holidays that shouldn’t be holidays is all part of the American Dream.


Related Posts:

Some Miracle Worker Took These Jessica Biel GQ Bikini Pics
Rihanna Bikini Pictures
Rihanna and Her Slutty Outfit
Hayden Panettiere Bikini Pictures

Posted in:GQ|Hayden Panettiere|Photoshoot|Rihanna|Slutty|Unsorted

2007

21

Nov

I am – Vanessa Minnillo Still in a Bikini of the Day

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So bitch is rockin a bikini on the beaches of the Virgin Islands, which is kind of appropriate because you’re jerking off to these pics and well, let’s face it, fucking yourself doesn’t count as losing your virginity….I don’t know why I bother with the you’re a virgin jokes, they really aren’t funny but I guess funny isn’t really my thing…

The reality is that I write this site for hot chicks and if you’re reading this and not a hot chick, you’re seriously fucking up my masterplan. I figure hot chicks like celebrity shit and I don’t so it’s a sacrifice I am willing to make in attempts for getting them to fly me out to Virgin Islands or really any tropical place, including their bathrooms, because compared to the shit hole I shit in, the local gas station bathroom is luxury, to watch them frolick around in a bikini, but only because the hot chicks I am interested and who I am writing for are also rich and willing to support me.

This is all part of my hot chick brainwashing quest, because I am tired of seeing hot chicks with guys I consider losers, even though they are good looking and have money and cars and buy them nice things and treat them better than I will, because Chachi motherfuckers and their magnums of Grey Goose with their gel haired dropping jokes from some shitty movie they just saw or doing the Borat are the people who deserve to be virgins.

Either way, Here are them there pics.


Related Posts:

Vanessa Minnillo in a Bikini Yesterday
Vanessa Minnillo’s Ass Shopping
Vanessa Minnillo Fully Nude Pictures
Nick and Venessa in the Hot Tub

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Hot|Tight|Tits|Unsorted|Vanessa Minnillo

2007

21

Nov

I am – Christina Aguilera’s Pregnant Upskirt of the Day

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Here’s Christina Aguilera showing her vagina, because like all ready to drop mothers to be who are in and out of doctor appointments showing the world their cunts at least once a week, it’s not that big deal. Not that it ever was for her, because based on her music videos you’d think she was some kind of whore sex addict, but the reality is that most girls who talk sex and live sex and do sex dances for the world to jerk off to, don’t actually have sex. It’s just one of those things called marketing.

Another one of those things is that she knows that the her vagina will never be the same again and figures she should let the world know what it was like in its glory days. Unfortunately, I don’t have super virgin powers and can’t make out any lip, so this vagina slip is a fuckin’ bust by my standards becasue I’ve seen more pussy on my dad and I never even met my dad, but I used to pretend ever dude my mom would bring home to fuck for money was my dad, and based on the shit I saw, those fucker’s got mad pussy cuz she was cheap and easy. Kinda like Aguilera.


Related Posts:

Christina Aguilera Showing Off Pregnancy Belly
Christina Aguilera’s Got Some Crazy Cleavage
Christina Aguilera’s Crazy Tits in China

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Pregnant|Unsorted|Upskirt|Vagaina

2007

21

Nov

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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Some girl emailed me asking to be my muse. I told her that if she wants to be my muse she has to have sex with me and by sex I mean lick my asshole because that’s where my inspiration comes from, but since I am a nice guy, I’d hate to have to put her or anyone else through that hell because the reality is, I don’t know what a muse is or what the word means and I am too lazy to find out….

I got an email from one of you telling me that her will be in Montreal for the holiday weekend and that they want to take me out. The truth is that I don’t like to leave my house and if I do, it’s not to hang with psycho dudes who read this site and may want me dead. It’s to get away from my wife. So I appreciate the free booze offer but II am surprised anyone would ever try to meet me off the internet because meeting people off the internet is fucking weird and makes me feel uncomfortable. The condition of me ever meeting anyone from the internet is tht we make a Match.com commercial because I’ve always wanted to publically humiliate myself on national TV by telling the world I am a loser with no game who needs dating sites to get pussy.

Either way here’s a hot album to download:

Download the Brand New Alicia Keys Album
GO

Now Here are the Rest of my Links

Here are Pictures from the Maxim Hometown Hotties Contest Party I Wasn’t Invited To…Thanks.
GO

Coco is on Law & Order SVU Tonight. Watch The Clip Cuz We All Love Us Some Coco
GO

Some Chick Named Vanessa Layton McIntosh Has Huge Tits and an Upskirt
GO

Angelina Jolie Naked in Beowulf
GO

Heidi Klum Playing With Her Tits Video
GO

Some Naked Shop Owner Prank
GO

Some Suicide Girls in Picture Action…Because Alternative Models Make For Good Times because They Know They Aren’t Hot….
GO

Silvia Rosales is Some Hot Bikini Model and This is Her Photoshoot Video
GO

Britney Spears Lost Her Virginity When She Was 14
GO

Selma Blair Wears a Jewish Outfit of the Day
GO

Hayden Panettiere Does Some Hot Photoshoot. I Can’t Believe I Just Said That….
GO

Some Dude Intentionally Lets a Girl Beat Him Up So That He Can Feel Her Vagina Up on Him
GO

Some Girl Strippin For Her BF in Iraq….
GO

Ashlee Simpson is a Teenage Girl About Her Smoking and Begs the Paparazzi to Not Tell Anyone Cuz She Doesn’t Want to Get Caught…What a Fag.
GO

Alicia Keys Looks Pretty Old and Busted at the American Music Awards
GO

Eva Longoria Has a Retarded Sister Who is Some Kind of Hero
GO

A Little Mel B Dancing With the Stars Video Because She’s Got Hot Tits
GO

Some Crazy Bitch Fucking a Cactus….
GO

Some Fireworks Prank on a Dudes Friend Worth Watching
GO

Some Kim Kardashian Posing in a Bikini Pictures
GO

Some Lene Anderson Singing About Her Hot Tits Video
GO

Accidental Nudity on Family Feud
GO

Mutant Sex Video of the Day
GO

Some Couple’s First Wedding Dance Joke….Because Happy Couples With Stupid Sense of Humors Make Me Cry on the Inside….
GO

Some Hot Slut Named Coral’s Music Video That I Watched Because She’s Hot…
GO

People Dancing in the Street Like Assholes for Samsung…I Think I Deserve to Get Paid for This…Samsung, If You’re Listening…What’s Up?
GO

The Oldest Woman to Pose in a Calendar Ever Turns Me On…
GO

This Girl Has 200 Orgasms a Day
GO

Human Tetris With Chicks in Bikinis
GO

Here’s Some More Beowulf Nudity
GO

Here’s a Video of Gina Gershon and Lots of Pills Lookin Good Enough To Date Rape While She Self-Medicates, Yeah I Can Rap…Fuck You….
GO

Some Old People Junkie Ads Because When You Get Old, I Suggest Doing Heroin….Because You’re Bound to Die Anyway, Might As Well Make It Fun
GO

Housewives Going Fucking INSANE because We Like Crazy Housewives
GO

Some Girl Doing a Fuck Machine
GO

Someone Introduce Me To This Chick. I Want to Play With Her Hysterectomy Scar
GO

Here’s Another One of Her
GO

Some Japanese Bondage Dolls for the Kids
GO

Sophie Anderton Was Lonely and Needed Money So That’s Why She Became a Hooker…Seems Reasonable….
GO

Some Hot Cam Girl Doing What Cam Girls Do
GO

Some Interview With a Rapper Named Freeway
GO

From Photobucket:

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart and Your Nipples
GO

Some Girl Posts Her Vagina Next to Pictures of Her Kids…It Seems Fitting Since It’s Their Home
GO

From The Forum:

Some Suicide Girl Showing Off The Box
GO

Some Blonde Chick Naked and Rockin’ a Dildo
GO

Megan Fox for Maxim
GO

Some Strippers Hot Amateur Pics
GO

Download Mike Jones – The American Dream
GO

Download Motley Crue – Music to Crash Your Car To – Discs 1 – 4
GO

Download the Gorrilaz New CD called D-Sides
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

20

Nov

I am – Ashley Tisdale’s New Nose of the Day

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I can only assume Ashley Tisdale’s mother is some hot slut who used her vagina to get her daughter into show business, because let’s face it, with that fuckin nose bitch was rockin’, her only real career prospects were to work at the cosmetics counter of her local department store, because people would trust her ability to help them choose a perfume, because let’s face it, bitch was made for smelling things.

But lucky for us, she’s pulled an Ashlee Simpson and got a new fuckin’ nose. I’ve seen her shitty Christina Aguilera rip off video where she sings badly about what he says and what she says and I just stare at her fuckin’ nose knowing that whatever he was saying, he was saying it to get the fuck away from that fuckin’ thing, because it was scary on some halloween level.

Social pressure of needing to be hot and in the spotlight takes it’s toll on a young insecure girl who’s trying to make her career pop and it has made her cave in and got a new nose because it was disgusting and needed to be done and all part of growing up in a superficial world and wanting everyone to think you’ve got it going on. I know that when she’s asked about it, she’ll say it’s gotta do with some deviated septum shit, unable to breathe bullshit, because unlike a stripper who admits she got tits to make money and feel hot.

Either way, I love insecure girls because they get naked for me without much convincing, they just like the pat on the back or cum shot stamp of approval because it makes them feel wanted and for a person who hates themselves, feeling wanted is important. Now the real question is why did she stop at her nose, if she really wanted to make her career last she’s also going to need a new face, new teeth, some tits, talent and a sex tape. I don’t respect this half-assed effort she’s putting in, makes me feel like she’s not serious and treats her career like the joke that the rest of us already know it is. Cuddles.


Related Posts:

Some Ashley Tisdale in a Bikini
More Ashley Tisdale in a Bikini
Even More Ashley Tisdale in a Bikini
Damn This Girl Likes Bikinis…

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Nose|Plastic Surgery|Unsorted

2007

20

Nov

I am – Lindsay Lohan’s Not Drinking Designer Water of the Day

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I blame celebrities for making a lot of stupid shit popular. One of those things is expensive bottled water that assholes feel the need to drink in public to look like they are ballin’. I remember last summer seeing Fiji water in every asshole kid’s hand at 4 dollars a bottle, then Fiji became too normal for showboating assholes that they went with Voss at 10 dollars a bottle or something insane like that.

Now I realize that rich kids are assholes who get free money to do what they want with and I realize that poor people that are trying to maintain some kind of rich image because they think that shit gets them respect are assholes too, but I also realize that drinking bottled water is for fucking homo’s, If you’re dehydrated from a night of drinking, there’s nothing wrong with hitting up the water fountain at the local bus stop, you can probably land some teenage runaway pussy there, who is impressed if you buy her a fuckin’ chocolate bar because she hasn’t eaten in a week, but when you’re dropping more money on water than something with booze in it, you’re clearly a fuckin asshole too because bottled water will not get you pussy.

Here are pictures of Lohan drinking some Whole Foods house brand water, and despite Whole Foods sounding like some pretentious hippie lesbian organic shit, I can only assume this water isn’t anything designer and is the equivalent of wearing a pair of sneakers that you got a Wal Mart because you suck at life.


Related Posts:

Lohan Hanging With Her Lesbian Cock
Lohan’s Nipple
Lohan’s Always Hot
Lohan’s Hot Tit From The Side

Posted in:Hot|Lindsay Lohan|Tits|Unsorted|Water

2007

20

Nov

I am – Vanessa Minnillo Bikini Ass Pictures of the Day

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The dude who invented the bikini was a smart person. Shit has become the norm on the beach, and event though that means bitches who have no business wearing bikinis rock them, so do hot chicks. Since ugly girls don’t register in my brain and just blend into the scenery no matter how fat and disgusting they are, them in bikinis doesn’t phase me. What does phase me is that decent lookin’ girls have been walking around half naked since they were kids, the were raised on this shit and that makes girls more comfortable walking around in their bra and panties, because shit’s equally revealing. It’s like the dude who invented the bikini was a master trainer, and shit worked out, only we all get to reap the rewards of his perversion pretty much every time we leave the house, or get a girl back to our place. Not that you know anything about that, but either do I, and that’s why we’re crew.

Here are some pictures of Nick Lachey livin’ the life on a yacht with his Boy Band money proving that you don’t need talent to be a hustler. He’s his girl Vanessa Minnillo who’s in some bikini and has a fuckin’ tight body and knowing that he cums inside that on the regular can only make me hate myself for never learning how to dance.


Related Posts:

Vanessa Minnillo’s Ass Shopping
Vanessa Minnillo Fully Nude Pictures
Nick and Venessa in the Hot Tub
Some Jessica Simpson Hiding in her Bikini

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Minnillo|Unsorted|Vanessa

2007

20

Nov

I am – Pink is a Man in a Bikini of the Day

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I am sure it’s tedious for you 6 assholes to read that Pink is a man, or that Pink is a lesbian, or that Pink is a bull dyke with a plastic dick she straps on and poses in front of the mirror with, stoking it while screaming and crying to god asking why he wronged her the way he did by blessing her with the gift of song and success but cheating her out of the one thing she really wanted…a dick, because I am tired of writing about it.

Lesbians generally don’t like me. The other week I met some girl who hadn’t been with a man in 5 years and I was working some drunken angle trying to convince her to make out with me. I have a thing about breaking people down and getting them to get busy with me, considering I smell like feces and am obese and she was convinced she was a ‘mo, I thought it’d be a challenge and despite being a lazy motherfucker, sometimes, alcohol makes me ambitious.

Anyway, I got the lesbian to make out with me and I was suckin’ her tit in the bar, but then she realized what she was doing and fucked off, never to be seen again, until the other day, when I had to shit and ran into some organic food restaurant because it was the nearest place and I figured organic hippie lesbians assholes would embrace my shit and want to get some use out of their composting toilets so that they can use my shit to help fertilize their organic garden next summer,

I walk in and the lesbian who’s tit I sucked was working the fuckin’ cash. I said hello and asked to use the washroom and she looked at me with disgust and asked me to leave. I guess she didn’t want a round 2, I would have totally let her play with my vagina-lookin’ broken penis.

BONUS – Pink Walking


Related Posts:

Pink Doing Lady Things
Pink Likes to Fly
Pink Taking a Pee
Pink’s Nipple Piercing

Posted in:Bull Dyke|Butch|Lesbian|Motorcycle|Pink|Unsorted

2007

20

Nov

I am – Pam Anderson’s Still Got Nipples of the Day

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This is what Pamela Anderson looks like when she goes out for some Planet Hollywood shit over the weekend in some semi-see through men’s shirt bullshit that makes me feel like I just had sex with her, which wouldn’t be that much of a stretch because by the looks of it, so has everyone in the room.

Speaking of stretches, there’s nothing like realizing that beauty is fleeting and your face gets haggard and no matter how much plastic surgery you get, or how much a doctor stretches your skin out, you’re still a mother of two and despite filling your fuckin’ tits up like every dude in the room is planning on filling you up, even with your hepatitis, it’s a good strategy to distract us from lookin’ at your face and realizing how busted your are.


Related Posts:

Pam Anderson in a White Bikini
Pam Anderson’s Got Creepy Cleavage
Pam Anderson Dressed Like a Newborn with Tits

Posted in:Nipples|Pamela Anderson|See Through|Slut|Unsorted