DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2007

25

Sep

I am – Kate Moss Getting Out of Cars With Boys of the Day

I shoulda married a model. When I look at my wife I always feel like I sold myself short. Then I look at myself in the mirror and realize that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, but if I was to live this life differently, I’d be that dude who bangs models because I think models may not be the hottest bitches out there, but they think they are and that’s makes cumming on their faces way more fun.

Kate Moss is hot, she’s a bit of a wreck, she’s getting older, she has a British Grill, looks a little haggard, she’s spent the last 10 years with lots of money in the bank and little to do with it other than have meaningless relationships, cocaine and going to clubs getting drunk. Models are pretty much retired by 30 and tall skinny party sluts that act a little more glamorous than the whores you see at the bars, because they work in the fashion industry, and the fashion industry is so fucking luxurious….but a party slut is a party slut no matter what and all party sluts take it in the ass this good life isn’t as good as knowing that Kate Moss takes in the ass.

The other good news for me is that it’s never too late to make changes, guys age well and like the drug dealer I saw the other night in his mid-50s with 8 hot model looking girls on his arm, while hustling every girl who walked by him, hot chicks are dumb enough to be bought.

So my goal is to find a way to turn this site into a Perez Hilton type site, end up on TV everywhere and use all that 5 minutes of undeserved fame to bed as many models as I can with my limp useless dick that I will use Viagra to revive, but unfortunately Viagra won’t make it look less like an oversized clit…but who cares, my fame will distract bitches from my big clit/little dick and don’t worry, I know this is all fantasy, the closest thing I’ll ever have to fame is being recognized at the local convenience store.

Related Posts:

Kate Moss Topless on a Boat
Kate Moss in a Bathing Suit Type Thing…
Kate Moss Hot in Agent Provocateur Before They Fired Her and Hired that Fatty Maggie GylenI-I don’t know how to spell their retarded names
Kate Moss Topless in Thailand

Posted in:Hot|Kate Moss|Model|Skinny|Unsorted

2007

25

Sep

I am – Jamie Lynn Spears Goes to Acting Classes of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Jamie Lynn Spears going to acting classes, reality is that Jamie Lynn Spears should be going to a personal trainer. Bitch is looking pretty fucking sloppy and sloppy girls aren’t good.

I remember bringing home this chick who looked alright dressed. We ordered some food and as she ate it shit dripped all over her outfit like the slob she turned out to be. It was gross, but I didn’t care, I wanted to see her tits and this was a good excuse for me to get her shirt off, that was before she actually took her shirt off and I was faced with the strongest push-up bra built, because the second it came off, this girl who I thought was tight bodied, had nipples that aimed to the floor…..I am talking tits a mother of 3 probably doesn’t even have, that just kinda hung off her like a half full bag of milk. I still let her get me off, because I have no standards, but I was thinking how gross her tits were the whole time.

Reality is that I know Jamie Lynn is a teenager, but that means she should be more tight bodied now than she will be 5 years down the road, but I guess things shift and maybe she just hasn’t lost her babyfat yet. That was my wife’s excuse for her belly for the last 30 years of her obese life…I keep telling her “bitch, it’s not fucking babyfat, it’s called you’re a disgusting pig who doesn’t stop eating fat”, but she doesn’t listen. I think it’s just a matter of time before she follows the family tradition of eating fast food and cheetos, marrying losers, having 2 kids she hates, ending up on drugs, washed up and unable to land any work all by the time she’s 20, because the younger generation a growing up a lot faster these days. The other day I walked in on two 14 year olds ripping lines while getting blowjobs in the club bathroom….

I guess she’s trying to break her destined fate, but going to see an acting coach, but I don’t think any acting coach good enough can save a Spears. She’s just riding Britney’s tailwind, which is probably something that doesn’t smell as nice as it sounds and its worked up until now and I’d be surprised if she ever gets cast in anything decent. She’s just another white trash high school drop out with a dream, like this whore I once knew who was missing half her teeth but always wanted to be a pastry chef. She took a few of the classes, maybe even finished the program, but within 2 years, bitch was back on the streets, there just wasn’t as much money or sense of achievement in making desserts as there was in making dudes bust.

Point of this post is to say, is it say, I think it’s illegal to post about girls who are under 18. I can only hope she sues me.

Related Posts:

Britney Spears TIt in Public Picture
Britney Spears Swims Topless
Britney Spears Comeback Performance
Britney’s Pussy that Isn’t Even Her Pussy Picture

2007

25

Sep

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

1 Comment »

So I finally fell off my high horse about the whole Paris Hilton situation when I realized that no one gave a fuck about my story, even though I thought it was awesome. I had to deal with a wicked hangover all day, but since shit made me feel so awesome last night, it was worth it. I felt a bit like an annoying kid who tells his parents about some joke he told in class and how funny it was, when in reality shit wasn’t funny at all and the kid is just proving to the parents why they should have had an abortion when they had a chance. That said, hanging with Chachi who listen to Jiggy club music and buy bottles of Grey Goose to show the world how much of a baller they are are the right kind of people to hang out with. They are so fucking dumb and have no idea what’s up, that it opens up a lot of opportunity to make them my number 1 fans, because let’s face it you’re not doing your job. The highlight for the chachi’s next to me was when one of them busted out his iPhone and in case you didn’t know the iPhone isn’t available in Canada yet, so all the other Chachi’s just stared in amazement, like he had just introduced them to some Chachi god, the same god who invented Kappa, Puma, fake tits, cheesy music, pasta and Diesel jeans. Hearing a girl say “Me I almost got a heart attack” was like porno to my ears, but only cuz her girl chachi chachas were hanging out of her short skirt…

Here are my links:

Dita Von Tease Does an Ad for Peta in Thigh Highs
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Hottie Jenny stretches nice
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Which Heroes Character are You?
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Some Announcer Asks About Britney Spears’ Career During a Halftime….He Thinks He’s Oprah
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Adrianna Curry Looks Good In Lingerie – Even Though She Hates Black People
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Some Janet Jackson Tanning Naked Video You All Need to See Again…
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Hottie Jenny plays strip poker with herself
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Miley Cyrus is Not Pregnat
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This Duck Makes It’s Baby Ducks Commit Suicide While European Spectators Laugh…Motherfuckers
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Some Drunk Chicks Fight it Out on VIdeo
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Adrea Corr Upskirt Pic
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Jessica Biel Changes Her Clothes in Video
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Sarah Jessica Parker’s Foot Fetish Pictures
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Here’s the Stripper Behind the Dela Hoya Pics
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Who Will Die First. Britney or Lohan
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Fill In The Blank The Office Edition
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Here’s Some Clips from “I Shoot My Girl”, Some Amateur Couple Sharing the Wealth
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Some Mariah Carey in Tights/Leggings or Whatever you want to call them….
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Some Scientist Analyzed Pictures of TIts and Determined that Posh has the Worst Ones, While Caprice Has the Best Ones
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Some Hot Chick in the Grocery Store Video
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Cris Angel Scares the Fuck Out of Carrot Tops Biceps
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Britney Daniel Topless in Threesome
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Anime Porn – Cuz You are a Loser Who Likes this Shit
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Some Slut Named Sandee Westgate Is Out Promoting Her Porn in a Bikini
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Some Funny Mini Skirt Prank
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Keira Knightley is into Domination in the Bedroom
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Rihanna Performs in Black Dominatrix Outfit
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The OJ Celebrity Phone Tap
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A Mug Shot Collection of Chicks With No Shirts On
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Dennis Rodman Gets Investigated for Slapping Some Girls Ass
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Some 106 Year Old Bowler – Owning Shit
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Some Older Hayden in a Bikini Showing Off Her Nasty Fat Ass
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Some Girl Pukes On Live TV – AMAZING but Has Made The Internet Rounds Already…
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More Danni Minogue Getting Wet Pictures
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Jessica Alba On Leno Lookin’ Good Even Though She Has Herpes
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Paris Hilton and Her Hard Nipples
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Kate Moss and Sienna Miller Get Into a Catfight at a Wedding
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Some Chick Gets Fucked By a Snake…SCARY
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Sienna Miller and Keira Knightley Go Lesbian for a Movie
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Joe Francis Launched a Website For You To Find Out How Awesome He Is
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Some Weird Anti-Drug Campaign….
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Some Chick Named Amber Tamblyn Looking Pale and Fat But You’d Still Fuck Her
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A Whole Lot of Naked For Peta Ads
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Watch Some Preview to Some Beyonce American Express Commercial Because Watching Previews to Commercials Doesn’t Seem Like the Dumbest Thing To You But She’s Showin Off Her Body…
GO

Some Weird Russian Statue’s Got a Pretty Small Dick
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Portia Di Rossi Plays a Lesbian in Nip Tuck and in Real Life…
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Girl Caught Masturbating Video
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Asian Dude Doing the MC Hammer Dance
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Some Girl Posing Naked With a Scary Fucking Face
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Some Hot Webcam Chicks
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Some Photobucket Album’s Got a Whole Lot of Nudity
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More from Her Album
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And More From Her Album….
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Another Photobucket Album With Some Tit
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Some Photobucket Girl Showing Off Her Big Cans and Her Va-Jay-Jay
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Compilation of Sluts Wearing Very Little Clothing
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Here’s an Ad With a Girls Ass in It, Because Sex Sells
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Amateurs and Lesbians Photobucket Pictures
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Oprah is Talking to Some Girl Born WIth Testes About Her Vajayjay..This is a Transgendered Girl I Want to Fuck…
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Some Skater Pushes Down a Cop
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Mena Suvari and Thora Birch Topless in American Beauty VIdeo Download
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Some Guy Gets a BJ in a Bathroom and is Caught By Hidden Security Camera…NSFW
GO +Blowjob.html

Some Crackhead Couple Fight it Out in Public
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Some Hot Cat Fight in the Parking Garage
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Some Japanese School Girls Got to the Doctor
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Rihanna Hate That I Love You Video
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Coconut in the Vagina Video
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A Whole Lot of Coco Pictures of Her TIts…
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VIP CAMS Scores a 79
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Use This Spray To Get Laid
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FInd Pussy in Your Hometown
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

24

Sep

I am – Hometown Hotties Finalist Nicki of the Day

1 Comment »

I am reviewing the Maxim Hometown Hotties for fun, there are 10 of them and this is number 6. Her name is Nicki, she’s from Kentucky, she likes country music and being in Maxim has always been her dream so she’s almost made it to where she wanted to be. If she was to win, I wonder where she’d go next since there’d be nothing to look forward to as she’d already achieved everything she ever wanted to….

I am not really into fake tits at all. I am not sure why. Maybe it is because they feel fucking weird or maybe it is because they look unnatural and I am more of a candid picture, amateur porn type of person and not too into the polished airbrushed or doctored fakes. So I look at fake tits and see a girl who is insecure about her body, who has a negative self image, who thinks tits get her ahead in life, and who probably only dates dudes with six packs, even if they are dumber than the implants she’s rockin in her tits.

However, I am also a dude and dudes like girls and dudes like tits and when looking at a chick, I’, happy to stare, especially if her body is as tight as Nicki’s. I am not too sure she has much of a chance in winning, because she’s up against a ten other half naked chicks, but I would totally watch her take a bath on webcam…because I know that if we met in person, she’d probably get security to kick me out of the bar, like the time I got aggressive with some dude when I was wasted and his girlfriend told the bouncer I punched her in the face, when all I really did was tell her that she had a dumpy ass and that was only because she told me I was a fat fuck….I said something along the lines of, if I got AIDS from fucking a slut like you, I’d lose the weight bitch, but no matter how many squats you do, you’ll still have a dumpy fucking ass. Genetics can suck sometimes…and I can be an asshole. I like to think that song party like a rockstar was written for me, even though I am usually drunk on cheap beer and not champagne like some aspiring actor I met last week….That shit was Gayer than Ellen…

Related:

Check Out Nicki’s Profile

Check Out The Maxim Hometown Hotties Contest

Previous Hometown Hottie stepREVIEWs:

ERIN
LETICIA
KENDA
JUDA
JAIME

Posted in:Hometown Hotties Contest|Maxim|Nicki|stepREVIEW|Unsorted

2007

24

Sep

I am – Nicole Richie’s Pregnant Bikini of the Day

3 Comments »

These have been out for a while. I saw them over the weekend. I thought that it was nice to see her taking a vacation from her life that is a vacation. I am not one to really talk. I may not have any money but I don’t have to get up to look at some asshole boss in the face everyday….and sometimes that’s more important than having money.

Either way, I like pregnant girls because girls generally won’t ever let me get them pregnant. That means I have never had sex with one, or had to deal with all their raging pregnancy emotions and hormonal imbalances. I am the kind of guy who girls end up banging out of confusion or depression and as their lives go on they realize that I am not worthy of dropping my seed in their womb. Even my wife told me that there was no way she would ever have my babies when we first hooked up and I thought it was the right thing to do since I was married and hated her.

Reality is that kids are kinda cool and would have distracted me from things I hated, until realizing that they were damn expensive to keep around and then I’d resent them for having to get a job that would make me face a boss everyday just to pay for their stupid designer clothes….So reality is that I may not have a legacy or a little fucker to pass all my wisdom onto, but at least I don’t have to work…

Point of all this is to say I could go off about how bitch looks like a rat-faced rodent of some sort and that she’s probably pregnant with 10 little babies in this litter, or I could go on to talk about how she’s so anorexic and now she’s not pregnant she just has a distended ethiopian stomach (it’s her heritage), I could go onto how the baby isn’t really a baby, it’s just where Good Charlotte hides their make-up and gay porn because they are fags and they don’t want that getting out…I could talk about how dumpy her ass is or how her milk filled tits are really luxurious but I am not going to do that because I would rather go out and get drunk. See ya.

Related Posts:

Nicole Richie Leaves Town of the Day
Nicole Richie’s Pregnant Titties
Nicole Richie’s See Through Maternity Slutwear
Nicole Richie is Pregant!!!!

2007

24

Sep

I am – Nicole Richie's Pregnant Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

These have been out for a while. I saw them over the weekend. I thought that it was nice to see her taking a vacation from her life that is a vacation. I am not one to really talk. I may not have any money but I don’t have to get up to look at some asshole boss in the face everyday….and sometimes that’s more important than having money.

Either way, I like pregnant girls because girls generally won’t ever let me get them pregnant. That means I have never had sex with one, or had to deal with all their raging pregnancy emotions and hormonal imbalances. I am the kind of guy who girls end up banging out of confusion or depression and as their lives go on they realize that I am not worthy of dropping my seed in their womb. Even my wife told me that there was no way she would ever have my babies when we first hooked up and I thought it was the right thing to do since I was married and hated her.

Reality is that kids are kinda cool and would have distracted me from things I hated, until realizing that they were damn expensive to keep around and then I’d resent them for having to get a job that would make me face a boss everyday just to pay for their stupid designer clothes….So reality is that I may not have a legacy or a little fucker to pass all my wisdom onto, but at least I don’t have to work…

Point of all this is to say I could go off about how bitch looks like a rat-faced rodent of some sort and that she’s probably pregnant with 10 little babies in this litter, or I could go on to talk about how she’s so anorexic and now she’s not pregnant she just has a distended ethiopian stomach (it’s her heritage), I could go onto how the baby isn’t really a baby, it’s just where Good Charlotte hides their make-up and gay porn because they are fags and they don’t want that getting out…I could talk about how dumpy her ass is or how her milk filled tits are really luxurious but I am not going to do that because I would rather go out and get drunk. See ya.

Related Posts:

Nicole Richie Leaves Town of the Day
Nicole Richie’s Pregnant Titties
Nicole Richie’s See Through Maternity Slutwear
Nicole Richie is Pregant!!!!

2007

24

Sep

I am – Miley Cyrus is Pregnant of the Day

2 Comments »

So a little life lesson for all you teenagers or parents of teenagers out there is that if you or your daughter dresses like this in public it’s just a matter of time before you’ll be driving her to the STD clinic and the Abortion Clinic because no matter what people say, suggestive clothing breeds slutty girls and more and more girls are dressing sluttier and sluttier every year, which is good on the eyes but also good for Abortion Clinic doctors and Birth Control Pill Manufacturers….

Miley Cyrus is reportedly knocked up and keeping the baby, she is 15 years old and although 15 year old pregnant chicks is a scary fucking thought, I don’t think that it’s trashy. When I was 15, I was fucking without condoms on or birth control pills. Shit just felt good and I was too excited to bust not to bother thinking of the consequences. Reality is that I couldn’t really have ever knocked up the women I was involved with though, because they hadn’t gotten their periods yet or they were already too old to get pregnant. I kinda like rollin’ on both ends of the spectrum….

Either way, like a good Christian country girl, she is going to keep it and I say that if God made her fertile enough to get pregnant in the first place, then she’s obviously got no choice in the matter. I was sitting on a park bench the other day and I saw a group of 15 year old girls playing with a ball. I thought to myself for a split second that these girls have gone through the bulk of puberty. There bodies won’t be changing all that much more, they have their tits, they have their hips, they have their periods, but they still like playing with balls in the park….meaning sometimes your body moves a little quicker than your brain does, let’s just call this one of those moments…because having a baby is going to suck for her. I can safely say that Billy Ray and his Achy Breaky Heart will be the acting parent in the situation.

Related Posts:

Christina Aguilera Pregnancy Nipples
Nicole Richie’s Pregnant TIts
Alena Seredova Is Pregnant on the Runway

2007

24

Sep

I am – Margaret Cho Nipple Tassle Dance of the Day

10 Comments »

If you are into washed up, overweight Korean lesbians, than you are probably into Margaret Cho. I knew a fag who used to be obsessed with this bitch and would constantly put on her video whenever I was over, so I can only assume that he did that when other people were over too. This guy lived and breathed Margaret Cho and constantly dropped her jokes in any social situation. We weren’t friends for long, he just always hooked me up with drugs, but that Magaret Cho shit just pushed me away, because no free drug was ever strong enough to mute her voice in my head…I think I used to even have dreams of her fat face imitating her Korean parents.

I assume that her act is suffering, because here’s a video of her doing some Nipple Tassel dance.

Related Posts:

Nicole Schrezinger’s Nipple in Her Video
Beyonce Tit Flash on Stage
Dita Von Tease Performing with Nipple Tassles

2007

24

Sep

I am – Meg White Sex Tape of the Day

1 Comment »

I am a little slow moving today with the whole being hung over and having a site that crashes more than Lohan driving drunk and high in her benz, but who really needs to be fast on this Meg White sex tape shit. Bitch is a fucking pig and always left me feeling uneasy. I never found her hot, so watching her get fucked isn’t really hot either. The only time I would want to see her get fucked is on stage by her brother, but that’s just because I am convinced they bang. Otherwise why would he let her in his band? You never do see the dude in the videos face…That said, who really knows if this is even Meg White, I don’t think anyone has looked at her long enough to know what she looks like, they just see a brunette fat chick and assume….

Either way, she’s a bad lay but takes the load inside her like any self-respecting woman should, provided she’s into STDs and unwanted pregnancy….which I am but only because there’s just something exciting about waiting it out for the month in uncertainty. You know that excitement that hits when your girl tells you she’s got her period, even though that only lasts about 3 minutes until you realize that she’s probably not going to let you fuck her for the next week, unless you have a cool chick who’s into period sex and you don’t mind the mess.

Speaking of mess, here’s that video, listen to her pant, then fuck yourself. Sicko.

I am – Paris Does Montreal of the Day

6 Comments »

I found out that Paris was going to be hitting up some ChaChi bar in Montreal about a week ago. I thought it would be funny to get myself into the event even though it’s not that funny. So I tried contacting the club involved. They wanted nothing to do with me or the website so I had to think of alternative options….

I was given Paris’ number a long time ago and we used to have a little dialog going. Unfortunately her number was released on the internet and she changed the shit. So I was stuck with Stavros’ number. Now if you don’t know who Stavros is, he is the fuckin’ man. He has banged anyone famous you can think of, from Petra Nemcova, to Lohan to one of the Olsen twins – so I decided to reach out to him…

Now, Stavros has been in my phone for a while, and I constantly send him text messages and he responds. I never understood why, becauseI have told him that I am from drunkenstepfather, and he always seems to ignore what I say. I had no idea how to get into this shit, so I asked him an he put me on the list. He was under the impression that I was his boy MIchael Perez and I just rode that shit home. So as he told me that I was on the list, and I’d ask him under what name and he told me Michael Perez, I just went along with it…

When I got to the club I told them that I was this Michael Perez motherfucker and they didn’t have me on the list, so I wrote Stavros a CURT text message saying that I was gettin dicked around. The dude was wearing overalls and no shirt and made me feel uncomfortable…Within about 15 minutes the owners of the club found me in the group of 100s of people, apologized and brought me inside like I was important, even though I hadn’t showered and was wearing ratty clothes. I was on Paris’ list and they thought I was some Michael Perez motherfucker who was important for whatever reason. I got to the bar, thought it was hysterical cuz everyone in there was showered and good looking, drank as much as I could afford and waited for the night to end. I fell down the stairs to the bathroom and I was rejected when trying to get into Paris’ VIP area, by Paris Hilton. The security dude brought her my cell phone where all the Stavros messages went down, and she looked at it and said that I could join her stupid dance circle.

The whole epxerience was fucking jokes and I kept laughing. I met some black chick who liked roses and some blond chick who thought I was bored and I just drove that shit home

I think the highlight of the night was watching a whole club zone in on Paris and watch her every move. Bitch would dance and everyone in the place would clap like she was Barney. The whole place was focused 100 percent on her. I guess they didn’t notice how handsome I looked.

When I was leaving, I was told Paris hadn’t left, so I waited around to let her know who I was. Not that it got me invited to her hotel room, but it was still funny, and that is the video you see. I will deny that being my voice because the asshole in it sounds jewish and 13, but reality is that we love Paris and Stavros and this is the proof. I am now Michael Perez and you are still an asshole.

So after all is said and done, they still don’t know what this website is or that it exists, but Paris Hilton is 100 percent worth a round, and I would be willing to get herpes for one night in her. I will be tickling my balls with the hand I shook of hers, just after I disinfect it. Paris changed my life, and I am a groupie now…I am pretty easy to win over…all I need is a little booze and some attention…CUDDLES….

UPDATE: I was fucking drunk when editing and writing this post at 5 am. I was out alone and stealing booze off some dudes with gel in their hair’s bottle….I shoulda asked her to bring me back to her hotel to let me lick her asshole. But I forgot. I did feel like a 14 year old girl waiting around to see Paris, but I needed to get something for the site and I wasn’t about to get arrested over the shit, so this is what you get.

If you were looking for a video of me throwing my feces at her, this isn’t it. I am too nice for that. I forgot to tell her I was from Drunkenstepfather.com, I was just trying to get over my big breasted Barmaids big breasts and the fact that people actually care about Paris. Like care so much that there was a crowd outside the place. I was also trying to get over this really rich bald old guy and his entourage of 10 really hot 20 year olds who I can only assume were on Payroll, making me realize that when you have money you can have any pussy you want.

It may look like I was all lined up to meet and greet her, I was just standing outside with some dude from Afghanistan when this went down…harassing random people coming out of the club…but I barely got any of it on video because I was drunk. I did try to hustle a black girl and that was a first for me. It wasn’t a success because some male model type was handing out roses to all the girls and that made all their panties wet, if they were even wearing panties…which made the floor wet…either way, I was upstaged by him and I was only doing it because I figured she wouldn’t mind my stink.

Here’s the rest of my videos from that night I can’t embed the shit…So Click the Link…
GO

Related Posts:

Exclusive Paris Hilton Party Pictures
Paris Hilton Upskirt of the Day
Paris Hilton Academy Award Bathing Suit