DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2007

23

Aug

I am – Throwback Titty Thursday of the Day

I got this email from the only guy who reads the site and emails pictures on the regular saying:

i’m unemployed again, so i’m just being silly, cause i got nothing better to do, besides go to my local bar and talk to the same idiots about the same shit over and fuckin over.

He attached these pictures of old celebrity tit pics and I decided to make his day by posting them. I like to call this stepDREAMS because it’s a lot like the Make a Wish Foundation – only for perverts and not for retards or terminally ill kids. I like to make losers sitting depressed at home, broke and lonely, lookin’ at their extensive collection of famous bitches topless, dreaming of days that were feel some level of importance, even if my site is a piece of shit no one reads, at least it’s something that may keep them from jumping off the overpass down the street from their mother’s house they never moved out of. ….So here are pictures from a better time….in hopes of better times to come….

I call this Throwback Titty Thursday…I don’t know if they are all real, I know they are all pretty shitty to look at, but I am just trying to save lives here…Cuddles….

Cindy Margolis

Daryll Hannah

Debbie Harry

Demi Moore

Farrah Fawcett

Goldie Hawn

Heather Mills

Julia Louis Dreyfus

Linda Blair

Loni Anderson

Roseanne Barr

Shannon Tweed

Susan Sarandon

Related Posts:

Throwback Demi Moore Erotica
Throwback Drew Barrymore Tit Flash
Throwback Samantha Fox Topless
Throwback Mischa Barton Nipple
Throwback to Gwen Stefani’s STD
Throwback Naked Playmate

Posted in:old|throwback|Tits|Topless|Unsorted

2007

23

Aug

I am – Charlie Uchea Nip Slip of the Day

1 Comment »

I am not posting this shit because I know who this slut is, I am posting it because she’s rocking a double tit slip in the same fucking night with the same shit, like a little left tit and a little right tit but not at the same time making me feel like she’s keeping

The reality is that Big Brother cast whores, because whores getting ratings, and without a bitch who is willing to fuck, get naked or whatever else they do on the show, they don’t have much of a fucking show. No one wants to watch a show about a bunch of people who get along, help each other out, spend their days reading, they want smut….and I do too…

I am wondering if It’s one of those chicken or egg situations, like was this bitch a whore before the show, or did the show strip her of all her dignity making her not give a fuck about being naked in public because she’s already been seen naked by the world and by world I mean the UK because that’s where this shit is from. If that’s the case, then we can only hope to seeing her sucking dick in public, masturbating in public, taking a dirty shit in public in the months to come…..she’s just getting warmed up with this tit slip shit.

Related Posts:

Bianca Gascoigne Upskirt
Chanelle From Bigh Brother UK Before She Was Famous
Some Aiseleyne Horgan-Wallace in Action
Big Brother Vagina Slip of the Day

Posted in:Big Brother UK|Charlie Uchea|Drunk|Nipple Slip|Unsorted

2007

23

Aug

I am – Jade Jagger Nude Beach Pictures of the Day

1 Comment »

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

I once wrote that I loved this bitch, I am not sure why, because she’s in her late 30’s and that’s not usually my style, I like younger fresher meat, but she’s the daughter of Mick and Bianca Jagger and I guess she’s normally hot and has a lot of money, just not so hot when naked on the beach.

I think the funniest thing about this shit is that it reminds me of my life. For some reason whenever I used to convince a drunk girl to get naked for me, or flash me her tits or shows me her box, I always miss it the first time around, like I wasn’t ready for it and when I ask them to do it again they always just think I am some pervert trying to get a second peak even when I am paying them…I remember hooking up an hour with a frigid whore, I didn’t really think shit was possible but bitch would let you bang her but she wanted the lights off, she wanted to do it missionary and she refused to do much more than lie there like you were fucking a scared virgin, only she was a hooker and her pussy wasn’t built like a virgin, it was purchased bad sex and I guess she catered to guys who liked to pretend they were getting with the 50 year old Jewish or Italian wife who never goes down on them, I figure it was either for guys who were still living in their mom’s basement or for husbands who were married to nymph’s and just wanted to feel like their friends for a change…

Either way, this photographer got a naked bitch on the beach, but didn’t get one bit of tit or ass or fuckin’ pussy. I don’t know how that can happen when shit’s not staged because these pictures remind me of every PG movie nude scene and it’s kinda making me mad…

Related Posts:
Jade Jagger Almost Has an Upskirt
James Jagger Turns 18
Lisa Marie and Jeff Goldblum on the Beach Naked

2007

23

Aug

I am – Anna Faris’ Short Shorts of the Day

2 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Anna Faris showing off the apples of her bottom. This is one of my favorite trends in the last few years, because short shorts not only expose vagina definition, but because seeing ass cheeks reminds me of the 70s and those were the good years. The funny thing is that girls of all ages are rockin’ this and the other day I saw a mother daughter short short duo and shit was better than any porn I have seen.

Either way, this bitch has a long list of D-List credits, so I don’t really know who she is. The reality of the entertainment industry is that D-List celebs have it fucking made. They aren’t the center of attention so they can live semi-normal lives with more money than the average asshole in the world and they don’t have to take themselves too seriously because the movies they are in are shit no one will watch expecting an academy award nomination. If some of these girls weren’t D-Listed they’d be strippers.

The funny thing about strippers is that they think they are celebrities. They walk around the club like they are important and like I should be too scared to ask them for a lap dance even though we pay them to get naked and I see them as my employee since I am paying her and last I checked when you paid someone for their time, they were working for you. The funnier thing about strippers is that they actually think they are professional dancers because I know dance and I know that shit wouldn’t fly at my contemporary dance class….I mean, I like tits.

I am not in a contemporary dance class asshole, I was just at a bar the other day and 5 strippers were stripper dancing in the corner like they were Britney Spears and this was her big comeback performance, but they looked like assholes because they were in clothes and there was no pole, but you couldn’t tell them that they were disasters because they insisted dancing was their job…I corrected them by saying getting naked was their job, then 4 big muscle dudes asked me to back off. Motherfuckers.

Related Posts:

Anna Farris in Her Underwear on Set
Mila Kunis Wears Shorts
Carrie Underwood Wears Shorts

2007

23

Aug

I am – Anna Faris' Short Shorts of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some pictures of Anna Faris showing off the apples of her bottom. This is one of my favorite trends in the last few years, because short shorts not only expose vagina definition, but because seeing ass cheeks reminds me of the 70s and those were the good years. The funny thing is that girls of all ages are rockin’ this and the other day I saw a mother daughter short short duo and shit was better than any porn I have seen.

Either way, this bitch has a long list of D-List credits, so I don’t really know who she is. The reality of the entertainment industry is that D-List celebs have it fucking made. They aren’t the center of attention so they can live semi-normal lives with more money than the average asshole in the world and they don’t have to take themselves too seriously because the movies they are in are shit no one will watch expecting an academy award nomination. If some of these girls weren’t D-Listed they’d be strippers.

The funny thing about strippers is that they think they are celebrities. They walk around the club like they are important and like I should be too scared to ask them for a lap dance even though we pay them to get naked and I see them as my employee since I am paying her and last I checked when you paid someone for their time, they were working for you. The funnier thing about strippers is that they actually think they are professional dancers because I know dance and I know that shit wouldn’t fly at my contemporary dance class….I mean, I like tits.

I am not in a contemporary dance class asshole, I was just at a bar the other day and 5 strippers were stripper dancing in the corner like they were Britney Spears and this was her big comeback performance, but they looked like assholes because they were in clothes and there was no pole, but you couldn’t tell them that they were disasters because they insisted dancing was their job…I corrected them by saying getting naked was their job, then 4 big muscle dudes asked me to back off. Motherfuckers.

Related Posts:

Anna Farris in Her Underwear on Set
Mila Kunis Wears Shorts
Carrie Underwood Wears Shorts

2007

22

Aug

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

1 Comment »

Jesus gave me one of the many rubber vaginas he got over the last little while, in hopes that I would give it to a boyfriend of mine and get him to fuck it on camera for the site. Fat ass is still having trouble getting it up, and since we live in fucking poverty, he can’t afford Viagra to aid his little situation. I took it out of the box and got seriously freaked the fuck out over how realistic the thing is and feels from the outside, especially if it was covered in lube.

That being said, since I know you aren’t getting laid anyways, I suggest you go out and pick one up tomorrow, cause you and I both know one of those things is the closest thing you will be getting to pussy for a long time.

Click these links in the meantime.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

The Rad Girls do some pregnant pranks because they are awesome
GO

Foxy Brown is going to jail
GO

Some Hot Chick Named Kristina’s Home Movie Of Her Making Out With Herself
GO

Sexy Shoot with former CNN anchor and On the Lot host Addriana Cost
GO

I frikken LOVE Bill Murray
GO

Christopher Walken is the jam
GO

The Biggest Asshole Ever. Literally
GO

Its tough to out-gay the village the Village People, but these Finnish guys come close
GO

Bear Grylls is a phony
GO

Retard playing with Lion gets what he deserves
GO

Brittney Skyes Internal Affairs
GO

Kat Von D is tasty
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Hilary Duff lets you see up her shorts
GO

Christina Aguilera looking more pregnant by the day
GO

More Pete Doherty crack head drama
GO

I’m with stupid
GO

More Shitney Spears drama
GO

Basketball player doesn’t like Ref’s call and deals him quite the blow
GO

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have separate bedrooms
GO

I hate BMX riders.
GO

Topless Carwash
GO

The glory that is Davd Hasselhoff
GO

Here’s the guy who edits the crappy magazine the hipsters all love called NYLON
GO

Do You Know What Your Daughter is Up To – On Photobucket…?
GO

Some Chick Named Gabriella Nude in Public Action
GO

Andrea Tiede interviewed Maxim “Hometown Hotties” Kerry Suseck and Amber Lancaster on the red carpet and it’s hot…
GO

Man Gets Eating by a Bear at the Beer Fest When He Tried to Fight It
GO

Sluts in Leather Partying
GO

Some Girl’s Selling Cosets…
GO

Some Julia Stiles Is Not Hot Pictures
GO

Beast of a Woman Bends a Frying Pan
GO

Some Girl Working Out’s Intentional Upskirt
GO

Kate Beckinsale Lookin’ Glamorous
GO

Ginger Spice and Her Baby
GO

Some Hot Naked Redhead
GO

Jenna Jameson Got Rid of Her Implants
GO

The Pole Dance Lesson…VIDEO
GO

Britney Has Finally Pulled Herself Back Together
GO

Some Girl and Her Digital Camera
GO

Now THIS is my kind of weddding
GO

Tabitha Taylor has stars in her eyes as the girl next door
GO

A Prinze among men in this angry animation
GO

This guy wins creep of the week
GO

Racy video game covers
GO

Dave Navarro’s porn debut
GO

A whole lotta ugly tits
GO

Some Slut Named Lauren Jones is on some Show Called Anchorwoman Tonight
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Use This Spray Because I Know You’re Not Getting Any Not Using the Spray So You Might As Well Try New Things that can Help…Even If You’re Too Lame to Help….
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

22

Aug

I am – Asian Rapper of the Day

1 Comment »

I love seeing rich idiot Asian kids that are into hip hop and are thugged out like Lilâ€™ Wayne and T.I, with gold fronts and chains down to their balls. Itâ€™s even better when they do so while singing along to Asian pop hits at karaoke, which completely throws any street crd they think the earn by the way they dress completely out the window. Sometimes I wish that North America actually was the ridiculous stereotype that they make it out to be, I think it would be a hell of a lot more fun.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

22

Aug

I am – Hayden Panettiere With a Dirty Old Man of the Day

5 Comments »

Here are some pictures of recently turned 18 Hayden Panettiere with some dirty old man, unfortunately this isn’t as creepy as it was 2 days ago, because it is legal but it still made me laugh and since I am not a laugher, that’s a pretty big deal to me so here they are….

Having a site called DrunkenStepfather is pretty much a good way to attract both perverted pedophile types as well as the people who are trying to stop perverted pedophiles from being aggressors on the internet.

In the beginning I used to play on it and talk about how I want to bang my stepdaughter and how I make them show me their tits and walk around in their panties and shit. I’d link to their friend’s youtube videos of them dancing erotically and to photobucket galleries and shit all in efforts of fucking with people.

I ended up stopping when I got paranoid that the FBI were parked in a Van outside my house because they don’t have the same kind of sense of humor as I do about that kind of shit. I guess it’s because I’ve never had to deal with parents or kids who have been abducted by Internet predators. So I realized that it’s not as funny as I originally thought it was especially since I don’t want to go to jail because I don’t really know the laws and could probably get taken down for a joke that went too far and because I am not really into the whole kiddie porn scene at all, so why do the time for a crime I am not guilty of….

That said I got this email yesterday and I am convinced that it is the predator watch trying to trap me and bring me down because this kind of shit has NEVER happened to me before.

can people send in pictures of themselves?
and how old would they have to be?
thanks =]

So I answered:

What kind of pictures are you talking about?

Anything sexual in nature you gotta be 18.

Anything funny in nature you gotta be any age.

The site is aimed at an 18+ audience….

What are you thinking about sending my way?

With Love,
Jesus Martinez
Drunkenstepfather.com

And She Wrote:

I recently discovered that I like how my boobs look in pictures haha
thats what I would have sent- topless pictures
but I wont be seventeen for 8 days
its a shame, theyre nice haha

So as awesome as this is in theory, I am obviously not interested in landing these pics because I am not a criminal, but I do want any above 18 year old girls out there to take this girls lead because I love tits and by default I love pictures of tits….so send them in, stop being such a fucking prude….

Related Posts:
Hayden Panettiere Gets a Ticket
Hayden Panettiere Short Shorts
Hayden Panettiere Eating
Hayden Panettiere Picking Her Wedgie and Licking It
Hayden Panettiere Bikini Pictures

Posted in:Dirty Old Man|Hayden Panettiere|Hugging|Legal|Unsorted

2007

22

Aug

I am – Lorie Louhglin is a Soccer Mom Prude of the Day

1 Comment »

My best friend Anna is going through a hard time right now because her parents are getting divorced. Personally I saw it coming. Her father is one of those forty year old good looking men like George Clooney who is a musician, loads of fun and likes to party while her mom on the other hand is a boring housewife who works some average professional job and has a body shaped like a pear. Iâ€™m guessing when he met her she was young, hot and easy, and now has slipped into the marriage trap of dinner parties with friends and no sex.

So the natural course of events took place and one day when the wife was supposed to be out, he had a â€˜lady friendâ€™ come over. He was fucking the shit out of her in the kitchen, with her bent over their island in the middle of the room, and him getting her from behind. What he didnâ€™t know was his wife walked in through the back entrance and was standing behind them for about five minutes, while he pounded away at the whore. They only realized when they went to change positions and when the chick sat up on the counter to take it from the front, she screamed.

Now, if this were the porn movies you hide under you bed so your Mom doesnâ€™t find them, this is part where the wife and the whore would start making out with each other and rubbing their tits on one another, and then simultaneously go down on the guy and would turn into a full on threesome. But itâ€™s not, and it didnâ€™t and instead the story ends with the whore running out of the house naked to her waiting driver and the husband getting hit over the head with a frying pan. Needless to say, they filed for divorce shortly there after and a pimp paid a visit to their house that night to collect for the money that was still due, regardless of the circumstances.

Hereâ€™s Lorie Loughlin. She played Uncle Jessieâ€™s boring wife Rebecca in Full House (that shitty show the Olsen Twins were on) Rebecca kind of reminds me of my friends Mom, not because they look alike, but because like my friends Mom, boring old Rebecca never would have rubbed her tits on anyone, probably never fucked Uncle Jessie, and would have eventually walked in on him banging a whore in that nice kitchen of theirs, had the show not been cancelled first. Now THAT would have made for a series finale.

She looks hot in these pics tho, so you can fantasize that she is instead a bi-sexual minx waiting to please you in every way you wish, and that you arenâ€™t in fact a loser virgin living in your Momâ€™s basement.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

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Cindy Crawford is a Hot Milf
Olsen Twins See Through Shirt
Jodie Sweetin Big Ol’ Meth Titties
Ashley Olsen’s See Through Skirt

Posted in:Lorie Loughlin|Milf|Prude|Unsorted

2007

22

Aug

I am – Beyonce Tit Flash on Stage of the Day

5 Comments »

Here’s a video of Beyonce performing. Her dress somehow flies up and you can see her tit for a split fucking second and the only reason I know this is because someone emailed it to me. I watched the video 5 times and didn’t see the tit but then again my brain works a little slower than a computer programming loser who spent the last 4 hours playing it over and over to get the perfect frame so that he can bust nut to it. I assume that computer programmer was you and that this is old news so that I can move on in about a minute to try to find things to post with a little more substance than this, or at least shit that you can actually make out the nipple in, because if you’re going to post tit slips, you might as well post tit slips people can actually see, not some kind of video that you need to speak binary code to decipher…

Posted in:Beyonce|Concert|flash|Tit|Unsorted