I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

27

Nov

I am – Cindy Crawford’s 1989 Bloomingdale’s Catalog of the Day

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Every girl seems to want to be a model. I always meet girls who are aspiring models. It seems like it’s the thing to do or at least the dream job for a chick because it assures them that they are good looking. Every fucking day I come across a girl’s posed pictures on the internet and I know she’s just wishing she’ll be walking the runway and traveling the world while fucking dudes in bands or actors, living in Penthouse apartments and making huge money for having pictures taken of them.

I know that out of all the girls I meet who are aspiring models, pretty much none of them are really going to make it, because to be scouted by the right dude and thrown into the right jobs is almost like winning the lottery, but I always encourage them to come over to take some erotic pictures in my shitty apartment when my wife’s grocery shopping because I know that means I have about 6 hours of freedom because my wife loves food, but that’s just because I prey on girls who want to be famous.

Either way, the ongoing joke I have with these young girls is to start off small, like doing the Wal Mart flyer or the Sears catalog, because shit pays well and is better than working at the grocery store scanning my wife’s canned goods….But for some reason these aspiring models have egos and think they are too hot for that shit before even getting started, they don’t realize they need to eat the shit a bit to get to the top and that they aren’t above or too pretty for anything at this point in their career and that’s why I figure that you’ve gotta start somewhere and it might as well be in my bathtub.

So here’s Cindy Crawford in 1989, in a Bloomingdales Catalog modeling lingerie before she became a supermodel, because everyone’s gotta start somewhere. Who knows where her life would be now if she didn’t make that move, so aspiring models….my bathtub is ready and waiting but you may not want to touch it too much, you may catch something.


Related Posts:

Cindy Crawford Bikini Part 1
Cindy Crawford Bikini Part 2
Cindy Crawford’s Still Posing

Posted in:1989|Bloomingdales|Catalog|Cindy Crawford|Lingerie|Unsorted

2007

27

Nov

I am – Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie Have Lunch Together of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Here are some pictures of Paris, Nicole and Paris’ sister no one cares about out for lunch together like this was 4 years ago. There was a time when these girls felt like they were on top of the world. They had their TV show and everyone was making a big deal about them. Now one of them is pregnant and the other is serial slut who no one will ever love because they just turn to her for bad sex and money and no one really gives a fuck about them, they’re washed up has beens, but the problem is that they haven’t been replaced and I’m excited for when they are because I need some new blood because it’s come to a point where thinking about either of them sexually is like thinking of your grandmother taking it up the ass, which is a good time, but still smells like shit….and not just any shit…old person shit.

It’s funny what a couple of years does to a person, it’s like riding high one day and in the gutter the next, that’s why I like to stay in the gutter because I don’t think I could handle that kind of disappointment. I guess what it comes down to is that everything always comes around full-circle and nothing in life is permanent, except maybe for AIDS.

I know whenever I see girls from my past I try to get them to show me their vaginas because it’s unnatural for a girl I’ve seen naked to be in my presence and not willing to get naked. If they don’t feel comfortable doing it, then I just keep on walkin’ like they are dead to me. The last time it happened, I ran into a girl i banged years ago on the street with her husband and kids and I said hi, moved in and said, so you gonna show me your pussy or what, I wanna see how it’s aged and she grabbed her kid and stormed off.

Either way, there was a time when these girls loved each other, then hated each other and now they are having lunch together while Stavros is out fuckin Mary Kate Olsen. I guess the rich kid drama will always go on and I feel like I’m watching a Cheers reunion special and Nicole Richie’s playing Norm. I wonder if Cheers jokes work, but I haven’t watched TV since their last episode, so it’s the only reunion special joke I’m packin’ and you’ve probably never seen an episode. I guess I really fucked this one up. It happens pretty much every post.


Related Posts:

Some Paris and Nicole Publicity Stunt
Paris Hilton Likes Fat People
Paris and Nicole From the Paris Exposed Documents

Posted in:Bra|Lunch|Nicky Hilton|Nicole Richie|Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

27

Nov

I am – Lohan’s Baggage of the Day

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The reason I like Lohan is that she’s damaged goods and has a massive amount of emotional baggage, and with emotional baggage comes a girl who really knows her self worth and that usually makes them willing to get with me and get down and dirty because it’s not as bad as that time she was raped or gang banged or molested by her uncle.

Girls with a clean slate are usually 15 years old or boring and don’t appreciate you because you’re more fucked up than they are, so they are always on your ass about how you don’t treat them like they deserve to be treated because they saw it in some Romantic Comdey and think that’s real life. They bust your balls for being crazy because you like to have a good time, while damaged girls are just looking for love, and always have fun, even when they are punching themselves in their own faces while crying because they don’t think you love them. An out of control girl with a drug or alcohol problem are into self destruction and having dirty fucking porn sex while wasted as fuck and are inconsistant as fuck, keepin us on our toes.

That said, here are some pictures of Lohan in a Jewish Outfit of the Day with some baggage because I am an internet poet, even though poetry is for fags, and I’m all like her bags represent her emotional baggage and shit, because that’s just how smart I am. I decided to start an Old School Hip Hop group called Thunder, Lighting and Reign. I’m Reign, motherfuckers….and we’re going to STORM on you. It’s a monsoon in this bitch. Cuddles.


Related Posts:

Lohan’s Drinking Poverty Bottled Water
Lohan and Her Lesbian Cock
Lohan’s Nipple in a See Through Shirt
Lohan’s Out of Rehab Tit

Posted in:Baggage|Lindsay Lohan|Tits|Unsorted

2007

27

Nov

I am – Kristen Bell’s Shitty Cameltoe of the Day

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I don’t watch Heroes, so I don’t understand all the hype, but I met a weird dude in the park who’s watched the whole season 10 times because shit changed his life. He was trying to convince me that my life was lacking in a big way because I wasn’t up on this shit and I had to clarify that my life is lacking in a big way for a lot more reasons than not watching some stupid TV show that people like him are obsessed with.

Either way, Kristen Bell is on the show and here she is walking in some kind of fitness pants that are kinda huggin her box, and despite not letting us know what she’s actually got inside the box, it’s good enough for me because every time I leave my house now, girls are rocking spandex or leggings, and I guess they don’t realize that leggings are one step away from naked and I can pretty much make out everything when they bend over to pick up my “packages” I deliberately knock off their table to get a better look of their junk from behind…or even when I stare at their mounds when they are just innocently sitting there …I know Kristen Bell isn’t rockin’ a pair of leggings, but that’s what this shit reminded me of and since I’m writing this shit, I guess I’m like Bobby Brown and more recently Britney Spears and it’s my prerogative.

I was at my local Starbucks the other day because it’s a cheap escape since the dude there hooks me up with free coffee and that’s a price I can afford. There was a young girl in her leggings with some dude and they were all in teenage love and shit. They kept kissing like no one else in the world mattered, meaning they didn’t notice me creeping on them the whole fucking time. Shit got pretty fucking intense after it went on for 45 minutes of them just making out and I couldn’t grasp the concept. I think the longest I’ve ever kissed a girl was for under 3 minutes and that whole time I was just trying to figure out how I was going to get my dick in her mouth or my fingers in her cooch. I ended up moving to the seat next to them and whispering in the dude’s ear “go for her cooter” cuz I figured he needed some pointers and his faggy intense kissing was getting to me. They ended up stopping, dropping and rolling….which was a good thing because if he wasn’t going to make I move, I was and I don’t need that kind of bad press….actually I do, my site sucks. At least I know for next time.


Related Posts:

Kristen Bell in a Bikini on the Set of Heroes
Kristen Bell in Another Bikini on Set
Kristen Bikini Bottom Photoshoot

Posted in:Cameltoe|Kristen Bell|Unsorted

2007

27

Nov

I am – Bethany Hamilton Bikini Top Pictures of the Day

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I am not sure if this girl is 18 yet, but she’s rockin’ a bikini top and a bikini top at any age is worth talking about, except maybe when it’s on a 6 year old, because that shit creeps me the fuck out. It’s parents who let their kids where bikinis at 6, who book bikini wax appointments at 14 and who become grandparents when the kid is 16.

Now if you don’t know who Bethany Hamilton is, she’s a surf prodigy who got eaten by a shark right before she was about to go pro and survived, unfortunately for her, her arm didn’t and although that’s a sad story, shit’s better than being dead and if she’s right handed I bet she barely notices shit’s gone. Reality is that girls think dudes get grossed out by their flaws or shit that they are insecure about, but dudes are horny and the only way they won’t bang you is if you don’t have a vagina in which case they’ll just use the mouth. If they get constant sex, they’ll probably marry you, so no matter what’s wrong with you and no matter how fat your ass is, or how meaty your vagina is, or how obscure your third nipple is, people see past that shit when they are sexually satisfied. So maybe Bethany Hamilton is missing an arm, but she survived a shark attack and that’s more gangster than you’ll ever be. Not to mention, but I’ll mention it anyway, because saying not to mention than writing something confuses me, but not to mention, I am sure there are a ton of benefits of having a girl with one arm, like never being asked to hold hands in public when she’s carrying something, or always winning at pattycake, videogames, doing handstands and making gang signs.


Related Posts:

Some CSI Chick Named Jorja Fox Not Hot Surfing
Courntey Cox is Not Hot When Surfing
Jennifer Aniston is Paddle Surfing Cuz She’s a Fag
Elle Macpherson is Hot With a Surfboard

Posted in:Bethany Hamilton|Bikini|Surf|Top|Unsorted

2007

27

Nov

I am – Hayden Panettiere in a See Through Shirt of the Day

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Here are some pictures of that troll Hayden Panettiere in a see-through shirt. At first I thought she was rockin’ a training bra but then I realized that her arms and shoulders are so big she’s actually stacked, and ready to wrestle. It’s like that time I was getting with a girl and she pulled out a 5 inch long dildo to use on herself and shit put my dick to shame, I just couldn’t compete so I went to the kitchen and emotionally ate all her food while she finished herself off. That may not be saying much about me, but it’s saying something similar to why skinny girls like fucking fat guys because it makes them feel skinny or why average girls hang with fat ugly chicks because it makes them seem hot, I am sure there are better examples of this but I’m too lazy to think. Fuck you.

Either way, this is barely a see through, so if you’re lovin’ it not only are you weird because it’s Hayden Panettiere and she’s not hot even for a live-action cartoon character, but also because that kind of delusion is what leads rapists to rape, you know the whole “she was wearing a short skirt and was asking for it, no means yes” rational. Someone should report you, unfortunately, I’m not that guy. I’m too lazy to worry about your problems.


Related Posts:

Hayden Panettiere’s Little Bra
Hayden Panettiere’s Upskirt Pictures
Hayden Panettiere’s Tube Dress and Short Ripped Arms
Hayden Panettiere’s See Through Dress

Posted in:Bra|Hayden Panettiere|See Through|Unsorted

2007

27

Nov

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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This is my first time doing links in a long time because you americans were on vacation and I figured my 6 readers would turn into 1 reader and that wasn’t motivating enough for me to spend my time doing this shit, but since it’s Monday and everything is back to normal until Christmas, I figured I’d get my hustle back.

It turns out that drinking harder the last few weeks than I’ve drank in the last 5 year is catching up to me and making looking at the computer hurt my eyes. I am cool with the whole getting kicked out of clubs and causing scenes and being a social chainsaw, but when I can’t focus on my screen I have no choice but to get to the fucking point, so here are my links……if I don’t die in my sleep I’ll be back in a few hours with more life changing posts. Cuddles.

The Hottest Pregnant Women Ever
GO

Some Video Footage of Has-Beens Doing Drugs
GO

Some Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Pictures
GO

Become a Facebook Fan of DrunkenStepfather
GO

Sandee Westgate Reviews Live Free or Die
GO

Aisleyne Horgan Wallace Upskirt Lip Slip
GO

Some Vanessa Marcil for Stuff Magazine – Half Naked
GO

Hilary Duff Pickin’ Up Her Own Dry Cleaning in Some Tight Pants
GO

Myleene Klass in a Bikini on the Beach Lookin’ Hot
GO

Josie Maran Photoshoot Video Because She’s Hot
GO

Paris Hilton Molesting Fruit Cuz It Isn’t Scared of Her Rancid Mouth
GO

Some Girl Cleaning Her Pussy Out With a Garden Hose Video
GO

Webcam Girl Doing Webcam Girl Things for You
GO

Rihanna Pigging Out Because She’s Making Up For All Those Mealess Nights She Had as a Poor Girl in the Islands…
GO

Hayden Panettiere Wants to be a Lesbian….Which is Surprising Because I Thought She Wanted to be a Mover….
GO

Some Rachel Bilson Because I Think She’s Got it Going On…
GO

This is Something My Wife Would be Good At, She’s Got Strong Teeth.
GO

Some Homeless Dude Rockin’ Out Amazingness
GO

They’ve invented Spray on Condoms…And I Would Really Trust My Thorough Perfectionist Ways To Cover Up…I’m Sure When Wasted I Wouldn’t Miss a Spot
GO

Jessica Alba in Canada
GO

More Proof That The Hills are Fake
GO

Tara Reid Stank Up The Set of Scrubs
GO

Tyra Banks is Scared to Take Her Wig Off in the Bedroom Because She Hates Her Hair as Much as I Hate Her
GO

Nicky Hilton Showing Off Her Ass in Yoga Pants
GO

Some Snowboarder Takes Out Some Fashion Model on TV
GO

Some Girl Trying to Be Sexy Falls Over and We Laugh
GO

Lohan and Her Loser Rehab Penis Hanign With Family.
GO

Some Penthouse Chick Named Adrienne Manning Naked
GO

Kim Kardashian’s Fat Ass Shopping
GO

Some Lesbian Dildo Fest Video
GO

Britney Spears is Adopting Chinese Twins…Hopefully She’s Planning on Training them For Porn
GO

Catrinel Menghia in Sports Illustrated Lookin Good
GO

Halle Berry’s Pregnancy Ass
GO

The Hogan’s Are Getting a Divorce
GO

A Hanson Is Having a Baby….And The World Suddenly Became a Sacrier Place
GO

David Beckham Hates Kids With Cancer
GO

Lucy Pinder Naked in NUTS Magazine
GO

Some Playboy Chick Talks to Vegas’ Hottest Strippers
GO

This is Miss Puerto Rico Universe 2007
GO

Some Nude Model Named Valerie Taking a Shower Video
GO

The AVN Award Nomiees Because Porn is Your Girlfriend
GO

The Kim Kardashian & Ray J Full Sex Tape
GO

What Is You Favorite Sexy Shower Scene from a Movie – Poll
GO

How Long is You Clit Hood?
GO

Some Bloggers Who Run Some Blog Banged and Now are Publically Fighting It Out …. I am Still Shocked People Who Blog Get Laid…But Then Realized It’s With Each Other and Then It Reminded Me of the Time The 2 Kids in the Comic Book Club at Highschool Started Fucking Because No One Else Would Bang Them…
GO

Some Chick Named Alexis Lopez Lookin’ Hot in a Photoshoot
GO

Some Dude Dies When Cumming Video
GO

Here’s a Fucked Up Gameshow For You
GO

Watch the Wal Mart Masturbator Because It’s Funny As Fuck
GO

My Good Friend Stavros is Back With Mary Kate Olsen…Paris is Pissed
GO

The Best Store Name
GO

More Amy Winehouse Doing Drugs on Stage Pictures
GO

Solo Debut is a Hot Site Cuz I Like Watching Girls Masturbate
GO

Use This Spray to Get Laid
GO

From Photobucket:

Some Chick Showing Her Vagina
GO

Some Girl Posing in Lingerie
GO

Some Girl Getting Sexy on Photobucket
GO

Some Chick Having a Sexy Time
GO

Some Chick’s Photobucket Pictures To Jerk Off To…
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Some Girls Bush on Photobucket
GO

These Are Horrible Boobs…
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Some Girl Showing Off Her Tits and Tatttoos
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Some Cutter’s Close Up Vagina
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Some Pregnant Chick Showing Off Her Cooch
GO

Photobucket Sex
GO

Some Photobucket Tit
GO

Photobucket Vagina
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Photobucket Vagina
GO

Some Hot Naked Chick
GO

From the Forum:

Download the New Wu Tang Cuz We All Love Us Some Wu Tang
GO

Download Some Postal Service
GO

Some Kate Playground Showing Off her Pussy I remember When This Shit Was Impossible to Find…
GO

Some Amateur From the Army
GO

The Hottest Ass The Internet’s Ever Seen
GO

Watch Some Whipped Cream Video
GO

Some Suicide Girl Named Dewees
GO

Download the Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads Playboy
GO

Download some Jane’s Addiction
GO

Download a Whole Lot of Coldplay Music
GO

A Whole Lot of Met Art Action
GO

This Chick Named Sarah Nell is Naked and Posing For You
GO

Download some Music from The Eagles
GO

Download Some Band Called Rabbit Junk
GO

Some Suicide Girl Named Allie
GO

Download Some Yeah Yeah Yeahs Live in Mexico Album
GO

Download Some Val Halen Greatest Hits Album
GO

Some More Suicide Girls Action
GO

Some Pregnant Chick Getting Fucked By Her Boyfriend
GO

Some Girl Fuckin’ her Phone
GO

Check Out This Smelly Coke Can Action
GO

Download Some NIN
GO

Suicide Girl Naked With Gorrillaz Sign
GO

Who is Goldfrapp and Why Do You Want to Download Them?
GO

Some Fat Suicide Girl Naked
GO

Some Sheryl Crow Pre-Release Because You’re a Lesbian and This is Women in Song
GO

Download the Best of Blondie
GO

The Best of REM
GO

Some Jessica Biel Photoshoot Where She Looks More Girl Than Boy
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

26

Nov

I am – Perez Hilton is the Number 1 Celebrity Site of the Day

I think we can all agree that Perez is a loser, but it blows me the fuck away that this dude is making so much money off the internet and has little girls everywhere checking his site consistantly 100 times a day to see pictures of celebs with cumshots on them and his lazy banter to useless celebrity stories.

I don’t do what this dude did to get liked or an audience. I don’t understand how anyone takes him seriously or considers him an authority or someone they’d want to check out. It’s that mainstream wave that sucks in the clueless people around the world into thinking things that aren’t cool are cool because everyone tells them it’s cool, so they just roll with it. I do know that I would never read, support his site after seeing what the piece of shit behind it looked like when he first came out to make himself famous and watching the video I just posted should give anyone who still visits his site enough reason to never go back to it.

Posted in:Perez Hilton|Unsorted

2007

26

Nov

I am – Candice Michelle’s Foot Fetish Video of the Day

So I don’t do wrestling but you probably do, because you’re just that kind of guy who also collects action figures and has posters on his bedroom wall from the last Spiderman Movie, or maybe for your favorite heavy metal band, or the Jenna Jameson signed headshot you bought on ebay, you play videogames and you’ve had sex once, at least you think you did, but it was during some kind of role playing game.

Either way, Candice Michelle is some WWE start who was destined for a career in porn that started with this foot fetish video. She was probably some local slut who all the guys already fucked and she figured it was the next logical step since working the diner paid the same in a week as one foot fetish scene. She was a girl with a dream and an ego thinking she had what it took to get guys off on a larger scale than working the stage on amateur stripper night and somehow on the path to porno films the WWE saved her and now you’re waiting in line at conventions for her autograph.

Thanks to Wrestling News Desk For Emailing That In….

Posted in:Candice Michelle|Foot Fetish Video|Unsorted|WWE

2007

26

Nov

I am – Cindy Crawford in Her Bikini Pictures of the Day

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I’ve already posted pictures from this day in Cindy Crawford’s life the other day, but I’ve been really drunk the last few weeks and this type of repetition is a lot better than the shit I pull on a nightly basis, like repeatedly starting fights, repeatedly sexually harassing girls, repeatedly making fun of people, repeatedly introducing myself to the same person 12 times, repeatedly waking up in random places and repeatedly doing the Soulja Boy dance, cuz no one does it quite like me.

I’ve been drinking a lot of vodka lately and since my liver is broken and my digestive system seems broken too, every time I take a shit it smells like fuckin’ vodka and gives me the urge to scoop in and eat the shit to see if it takes off the fuckin’ edge I have from last night.

Speaking of shit. Here’s Cindy Crawford in a bikini, reminding us that everything turns to shit even supermodels we all loved in the 90s become middle-aged soccer moms who have hotter bodies than other middle aged soccer moms, but are still middle-aged soccer moms who will never be 19 years old again and that is one of life’s great tragedies.


Related Posts:

Cindy Crawford Bikini Pictures from the Same Day
Cindy Crawford is Still Posing
Elle Macpherson is Still Hot

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Cindy Crawford|Pictures|Tits|Unsorted