DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2007

23

May

I am – Samaire Armstrong's Gotta Be Knocked Up of the Day

Samaire Armstrong is hiding her stomach like she just hit up the snack bar harder than her man banged her without a condom because people in Hollywood don’t use condoms even when they are on the lowest wrung of the fame ladder and their only real claim to fame was a stint on the OC that lasted a couple of episodes. That said, I am pretty sure that she’s preggers and decided to keep the baby, unlike her Hollywood counterparts who opt for the in home abortion, like Lohan since it is the most effective form of birth control…

Either way, I think it’s funny when people make their insecurities so obvious. I was walking down the street today and came across a woman in a white tank top with no bra and erect nipples. I wouldn’t have even noticed her, because when I leave my house I don’t really notice anything. But she kept trying to awkwardly cover her tits as much as she could as she talked to a woman, but ended up drawing more attention to her tits than she should have….which wasn’t a good thing, considering she was in her 60s, not that that would ever stop you.

Posted in:Pregnant|Samaire Armstrong|The OC|Unsorted

2007

23

May

I am – Minnie Driver’s Stupid Bra of the Day

18 Comments »

Iâ€™m all for women wearing see through clothing because see through clothing is the closest thing to naked. I never understood dudes who would say that they find girls in clothing hotter than when they get naked, because when they are naked you see everything and it’s very clinical, whereas when they are clothed it leaves everything up to the imagination. I was never one of those guys. The more naked the better for me, even when the bitch is like that busted old pick-up truck rotting away in your backyard. But I am not interested in her wearing a see through shirt in attempts to tease me into her pants. I live by the philosophy of if you’re infront of me naked I’ll do it, but if you’re trying to be sexy in spandex or lace, I am not going to try to get you naked, I am just going to laugh at you.

My wife doesnâ€™t agree. Last summer, she dragged me to her family reunion that was at some welfare park on the lake. I wasnâ€™t interested in going, but with the free booze, food and teens in bikinis. We get to the lake, and my fat whore of a wife decides to reaveal her new bathing suit to the whole fucking family. Now bitch is 350 pounds and they don’t make bathing suits her size so when she put the mother fucking thing on it stretched out so much the thing turned see through. I am talking every thread on that fucking thing was doing all it fucking could to support the heavy load, so everyone in the family got to see what I get to see every fucking night…..and they weren’t too impressed, I think her brother left the party with his 3 kids because of it….

Point of the story is, if you are fat, if you are ugly, if you have never had many sober guys try to sleep with you, the whole less is more does not apply to you. Hereâ€™s some shots of Mini Driver in her bra and some see-through shirt action….

Posted in:Bra|Minnie Driver|See Through|Unsorted

2007

23

May

I am – Minnie Driver's Stupid Bra of the Day

No Comments »

I’m all for women wearing see through clothing because see through clothing is the closest thing to naked. I never understood dudes who would say that they find girls in clothing hotter than when they get naked, because when they are naked you see everything and it’s very clinical, whereas when they are clothed it leaves everything up to the imagination. I was never one of those guys. The more naked the better for me, even when the bitch is like that busted old pick-up truck rotting away in your backyard. But I am not interested in her wearing a see through shirt in attempts to tease me into her pants. I live by the philosophy of if you’re infront of me naked I’ll do it, but if you’re trying to be sexy in spandex or lace, I am not going to try to get you naked, I am just going to laugh at you.

My wife doesn’t agree. Last summer, she dragged me to her family reunion that was at some welfare park on the lake. I wasn’t interested in going, but with the free booze, food and teens in bikinis. We get to the lake, and my fat whore of a wife decides to reaveal her new bathing suit to the whole fucking family. Now bitch is 350 pounds and they don’t make bathing suits her size so when she put the mother fucking thing on it stretched out so much the thing turned see through. I am talking every thread on that fucking thing was doing all it fucking could to support the heavy load, so everyone in the family got to see what I get to see every fucking night…..and they weren’t too impressed, I think her brother left the party with his 3 kids because of it….

Point of the story is, if you are fat, if you are ugly, if you have never had many sober guys try to sleep with you, the whole less is more does not apply to you. Here’s some shots of Mini Driver in her bra and some see-through shirt action….

Posted in:Bra|Minnie Driver|See Through|Unsorted

2007

23

May

I am – Sharon Stone Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »

The last time I saw a 50 year old in a bathing suit was when I worked at the YMCA for a week before getting fired for walking in the women’s locker room by accident at rush hour. The problem with my plan to walk into the women’s locker room to see all the younger and hotter pieces of ass that worked out there was that I didn’t think things through properly. If I had been working there a little longer before making my move into voyeur janitor, I would have figured out that all the young tight bodied women who go to the YMCA show up in their workout gear and leave in their workout gear. The only people who get naked and stay naked for an hour while getting ready are the chicks with white pubic hair. They are also the ones who took the aquarobics class and would slowly make their way to the pool to play in the shallow end strutting their stuff like their very own Baywatch….

Now Sharon Stone may not be in an aquarobics class and she may not looks like a senior citizen yet, but her ass does and that’s all that really matters to me.

2007

23

May

I am – Martina Hingis Throwback Bikini Pictures of the Day

1 Comment »

Fuck, since I am on this Eastern European kick, I figured I’d post these Martina Hingis pics from 2 years ago. She’s in a bikini and letting the world know that female athletes have about as much sex appeal as my dick. No wonder girls don’t like sports and are more into sipping cocktails, wallet fucking and doing pills to stopping eating to get in shape. Muscle tone makes for no tits and testosterone development and testosterone makes for clits the size of a man’s thumb, at least it’s something to suck on that’s not gay….

I may have already written the story of the day the little league baseball coach taught me that steroids make a woman’s clit grows to the size of a man’s thumb, he had a mustache and filled every stereotype and cliche a baseball coach with a mustache could and telling a 10 year old about clits is a little fucking creepy and added fuel to the molester profile, but he never touched me inappropriately he just told me dirty stories. I am glad that I wasn’t a very good looking kid or very good at baseball and that I wasn’t invited to his MVP parties that I was so mad I wasn’t invited to at the time, but in retrospect I am so happy that I was just a young Mexican who couldn’t speak the language or play the sport….

That said, Communism makes for good Athletes with strong militant coaches who don’t molest the athletes because they are too busy pushing them to win. Communism also makes for great mail order brides…after seeing these pics, I think I’ll stick to the mail order brides….

Posted in:Athlete|Bikini|Martina Hingis|Tennis|Unsorted

2007

23

May

I am – Karolina Kurkova’s Ass at a Photoshoot of the Day

1 Comment »

I had no choice but to post these, I was thinking about passing out on the floor but this fucking picture kept eating away at my brain like my wife eats away at a family pack of chicken wings in one fucking sitting. I don’t mean to be always busting my wife’s ass, it turns out that even supermodels have cellulite. I am guessing that this Communist went a little crazy when she realized that she could buy as many boxes of donuts as she wanted, but reality is she’s pretty fuckin’ slammin’ and cellulite or not, I’d love to rub my balls on her, because with a limp dick that’s pretty much all I can do.

I did read my comments though, and saw that you are all complaining about me repeating myself, or something, I think this site stays fresh and I am constantly looking for more substance than the average nipple slip, cleavage shot, vagina slip, bikini pic, see-through shirt. My pictures are up to date and I make an effort to tell different stories depending on how inspired I get.

I am not justifying myself, or crying like a little bitch about negative feedback, I just think you are fucked in the head to think of this site as any more repetitive than anything else out there. So go and tell your friends, because my traffic is fucking dying. That said, I already linked to these pictures in my stepLINKS earlier…

Now you can look at this girl at some photoshoot in spandex. Cuddles.

Posted in:Ass|Karolina Kurkova|Model|Photoshoot|Unsorted

2007

23

May

I am – Karolina Kurkova's Ass at a Photoshoot of the Day

1 Comment »

I had no choice but to post these, I was thinking about passing out on the floor but this fucking picture kept eating away at my brain like my wife eats away at a family pack of chicken wings in one fucking sitting. I don’t mean to be always busting my wife’s ass, it turns out that even supermodels have cellulite. I am guessing that this Communist went a little crazy when she realized that she could buy as many boxes of donuts as she wanted, but reality is she’s pretty fuckin’ slammin’ and cellulite or not, I’d love to rub my balls on her, because with a limp dick that’s pretty much all I can do.

I did read my comments though, and saw that you are all complaining about me repeating myself, or something, I think this site stays fresh and I am constantly looking for more substance than the average nipple slip, cleavage shot, vagina slip, bikini pic, see-through shirt. My pictures are up to date and I make an effort to tell different stories depending on how inspired I get.

I am not justifying myself, or crying like a little bitch about negative feedback, I just think you are fucked in the head to think of this site as any more repetitive than anything else out there. So go and tell your friends, because my traffic is fucking dying. That said, I already linked to these pictures in my stepLINKS earlier…

Now you can look at this girl at some photoshoot in spandex. Cuddles.

Posted in:Ass|Karolina Kurkova|Model|Photoshoot|Unsorted

2007

23

May

I am – Petra Nemcova is Making Hearts With Some Turban Wearing Dude of the Day

49 Comments »

I could got the racist route and start making jokes about the dude in the turban because American’s assume that anyone with dark skin and a turban is a terrorist, but I am not going to do that, because I am a man of the people and as a man of the people, that mean’s I respect all types of crazy religions, even the Jews. This dude isn’t even an Arab, he’s Indian and people from India don’t suicide bomb, they just make a lot of fucking babies, like gold and lavish palaces and produce all the Bollywood movies you’ve never heard of, they even own the convenience store down the street from me and never give me fucking deals on cigars and also own the Indian restaurant that has an all you can eat Buffet that my wife can’t get enough of, literally…I hate when people do that, but we have been asked to never come back and if we do they are going to charge her for 2 people.

That said, this is Petra Nemcova at some Czech charity event for kids, obviously not dressed slutty enough for me or for the poor communist boys that are used to seeing the old haggard lady named Olga who serves them rationed porridge everyday and who are forced to jerk off to old contraband playboy magazines that were smuggled in the country in the 70s during the Cold War….but I guess she doesn’t really care about the kids, this is obviously more of a publicity stunt for her and her home country…

Yes…I know that the Czech Republic produces some of the dirtiest porn out there, I know eastern europeans aren’t circus performers who teach bears to balance on balls, or gypsy’s trying to read my fortune, or are too busy waiting in line for bread anymore but there isn’t much of a post without the communist jokes that sucked.

Either way, we can all learn a lesson from these people, it’s like fucking Sesame Street and the next time you see an ethnic person, and by ethnic I mean anyone who isn’t your kind, give them a fucking hug, or give them the Nemcova heart hand gesture. I am sure it will go over really well. Especially if you do it in the ghetto part of town…Cuddles…

Posted in:Charity|Model|Petra Nemcova|Unsorted

2007

23

May

I am – Doc Marten Ad Campaign of the Day

1 Comment »

I came across these pictures from a UK ad campaign for Doc Marten’s featuring dead rock icons wearing the boots in heaven to prove just how durable they are and that you can take them to the next life with you…or some shit…but only if you’re a rockstar, because rockstars go to heaven, you know with all their self destruction, drugs and alcohol, pre-marital sex, anti-establishment, petty crimes, suicide, murder and all kinds of other things religion really deems as being Holy….

I am not really sure why I am posting these, I really have no opinion and nothing interesting to say about any of these people, I listen to their music when it came out and even now when my I am not doing anything else on my computer because my computer sucks. I have never gone to any of their shows, but I am pretty sure that I have had sex while listening to them and that is probably an experience that definitely wasn’t as lasting or memorable as these boots and the poor women involved may have to take it to the grave with them to the grave, that is of course only if they haven’t repressed the experience like I was their uncle touching them inappropriately at the family Christmas party. I bring on shame even though they were drunk or high and I was paying them….

Either way, check out the ads. I haven’t figured out if it’s right or wrong but I do know that the last thing I’d want after I am dead is to be endorsing some shitty product I used in the 80s and 90s on the company’s revival campaign….even though I know that would never happen because I am not a rockstar but you get the fucking point asshole.

Kurt Cobain

Joey Ramone

Joe Strummer

2007

22

May

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

102 Comments »

I was really happy to see that the DJ AM fan club has been reading the site and sending in a ton of hate mail about my post about him. I stand firmly with my post that he’s a twat and that his DJ sets are nothing short of being a Bar Mitzvah Dj, because the reality is that mainstream people are idiots who like to hear their mainstream songs that they hear on the radio while working at their shitty mainstream jobs and living their suburban lives and needing to be told what is cool and what isn’t.

That said, I am not really concerned that he didn’t email me back, but his lack of a response was enough reason to do that post, if he had got me into the event so that I could look at all the little groupie sluts in short skirts, I wouldn’t have bothered wasting my time writing a post on him. However dude didn’t and that’s why he got a post.

I am pretty fucking sick, not sure why, the words on my screen are blurry and I think I probably had a stroke but still managed to do my links. Enjoy…

Hot Price is Right Chick Named Gabrielle Tuite Posing in FHM
GO

Paris Hilton – The Hard Life….
GO

Avril Lavigne is Wild in Blender – With Her Tits Hanging Out and Shit
GO

Roberto Cavalli’s Wife Loses Her Skirt in Cannes..This is Pretty fucking Major
GO

Jessica Alba Gets Pulled Over
GO

Dr Phil’s Child Talent Show is Fucking Next Level Weird
GO

Nintendo Wii Doggystyle
GO

Some Crazy Chick Gets a Wedgie By a Crane
GO

Posh Goes to the DMV
GO

Photobucket Posing in Underwear
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Girl Skaters Falling
GO

Paris Hilton’s Nipples Love the Bible
GO

Mischa Barton Gets High in Cannes
GO

Top 25 Internet Pranks
GO

Celebrity Virginity List
GO

Mick Jaggar Tried to Enlarge His Penis with Bees
GO

Some Chick Named Nikki Sanderson
GO

Courtney Love High School Proming It While Her Tits Hang Out
GO

Nicole Kidman Looks Pregnant
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Slow Motion Moneyshots
GO

John Mayer Comedy Routine is Better than Mine
GO

Some GIrl Sucking the Batter off a Spoon
GO

Chick in Her Bra Sucking a Popsicle
GO

Paula Abdul Explains How She Broke Her Nose
GO

Passive Aggressive Notes Can be Funny
GO

Clip from the Insider ABout an New Reality Show on Tanning Salons
GO

Jessica Biel Buying Radishes
GO

Fergie in Esquire
GO

Katie Holmes Pornstar
GO

Madonna Struggles on the Set of Some Movie She is Directing
GO

Karolina Kurkova has Cellulite but a Hot Ass Regardless
GO

Anal Bottle Rockets
GO

Asian Schoolgirls Suck and Fuck
GO

Jessica Simpson Mouth Open
GO

Boby Brown is a Crazy Fucker…
GO

Vancouver Crackhead Gets Kicked in the Balls for 10 Dollars – Assholes…
GO

Lucy Pinder and Michelle Marsh Together
GO

Photobucket Ass
GO

Lilly Allen’s New Video
GO

Melita Toniolo Italian Posing
GO

Some Baby Shambles Video
GO

Paris Hilton Gets Chased by a Penis
GO

Jerome the Deformed Skater Takes Out 2 People
GO

Morgan Webb FHM Shoot
GO

Photobucket Slut
GO

German Brothel Party Pics
GO

Alesia Marcuzzi Ass In a Bikini
GO

Some Photobucket Bruises
GO

Rebecca Cardon from Work Out on Bravo Naked
GO

Date Rape is a Reader’s Band
GO

Nature Channel – Lions vs Buffalo’s Vs Crocodiles – Insane
GO

Marissa Miller in Black and White
GO

Topless Girl Limbos
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted