I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

21

May

I am – Eva Longoria's Ass Plays Volleyball For Charity of the Day

eva_longoria_volley_ass.jpg

Eva Longoria is one of those socially conscious celebrities who goes to charity events out of the kindness of her heart and not for publicity because she cares about the world and using her “reach” as a celebrity to make a difference, so who am I to not post the pictures of the event where she played some charity volleyball to bring awareness to whatever the fuck the cause is while showing off her ass.

I am hungover and can barely focus on the screen, so I see is her ass and even though that is the real reason I am posting these, I do think she should be an example to other celebrities on how to make a difference in the world, while still showing her ass.

I guess what it all comes down to is that I am a charitable cause that people should start donating to….

Posted in:Ass|Charity|Eva Longoria|Sports|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

21

May

I am – Britney Parties in a Bikini of the Day

britney_bikini_party5.jpg

Britney performed in Florida and I read somewhere that her CD she was lip syncing to skipped and she turned her back to the crowd and re-cooped. It’s not all that much of a surprise, her entire career has been built on lip syncing and people aren’t watching her perform to listen to her amazing songs, they are listening because she was a young tight thing who moved better than most strippers because she had a choreographer and budget. It was like a big scale stage show without the nipples/vagina shots/lap dances/ signed posters/ etc.

Here are some pics of Britney wearing a bikini at a club, partying after her show in Florida.

I could probably write more and actually try to change your life, but I am uninspired….

Posted in:Bikini|Britney Spears|Drunk|Party|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

21

May

I am – stepINTERVIEW with Rachel Style of the Day

rachel_styletop.jpg

So I was on myspace, even though those fuckers banned and deleted my profile and came across some actress who was recently on that hit show Ugly Betty. Since I am an opportunist, I decided to message her asking for an interview and to my surprise, she pulled through. I sent her a few questions, she pretended she knew the site and got her personal assitant to answer the questions. Either way, I am pretty fucking grateful, I am used to being told to fuck off and this Rachel Style dreamboat went along with it and that makes her fucking amazing in my eyes, which isn’t saying much becaue I have no standards.

Either way, Here is the interview:

Do you think you’re Ugly?

Well Jesus, it’s like this…put me next to Petra Nemcova and I think we both know who would win the Ugly Contest. But put me next to Kathy Griffin and well…oh nevermind. How about the old saying “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder?”

What makes a person Ugly?

I think people who are mad at the world and walk around all pissed off tend to look ugly, even if they happen to be very physically attractive in a traditional way. Jealousy can make people look ugly, too. Like remember Faith Hill when Carrie Underwood won that Grammy instead of her? Yikes. Of course, excessive plastic surgery is another way of ruining ones looks.

Do you think there is a place in the world for Ugly People?

Of course! Haven’t you heard of it? It’s called New Jersey. 😉

Do you think Ugly people should have the right to be on TV?

I think with reality tv and all, everyone gets to be on tv these days. Sometimes the uglier the better. Maybe it’s because people like to route for the underdog. Or maybe it’s just that if you see a truly hideous person on tv, you feel better about yourself.

Do you think that hollywood’s version of ugly, is really like average in real life because I’ve seen ugly and I have slept with ugly and I don’t think my kind of ugly will ever be allowed on TV. I don’t even think my kind of ugly is allowed into some public places….so this whole Ugly Betty thing is bullshit and should be called Average Betty, right?

You know what..I have to agree with you on this one and say that most “Ugly” people on tv are in fact, not that ugly in real life. It’s weird, huh?

People seem to find the idea of someone ugly in a “beautiful people” type world amusing. I’m fat and ugly and impotent and my wife is obese and pretty fucking busted… How is that fucking funny?

Well maybe if they cast you in a reality show and then you got famous and made lots of money making product endorsements for various surgical procedures…then you might be laughing all the way to the bank.

You played the role of Betty’s best friend. Since we all know that girls who are best friends constantly make out with each other behind closed doors, did you feel Betty’s on the inside, if you know what I mean?

Well, I didn’t get to make out with Betty but I’m sure I would be a lot more well-known by now if I had. Like look at that girl who made out with whats-her-name on the OC…she works all the time now! Coincidence? I think not…

Playing the supporting actress to someone who has now become a big star must be a pain in the ass. Has America Ferrera turned into a big bitch of a diva, and forgotten all the little people?

Oh my God, not at all! In fact, she went out of her way to be really nice to me. Being the lead in a hit show is a lot of work and a tremendous amount of pressure and it was amazing to see how cool and down-to-earth she was. The total opposite of diva! She is my hero.

You have to admit having a show based on ugly people is a stupid idea…do you think it’s just to make people feel better about themselves so we can all laugh at overpaid people because they are playing ugly people and not feel guilty
about it – right?

Hmmm..that’s a confusing question! But I think the show celebrates people’s beauty..inside and out and does poke fun at shallow people. But it does it in a light-hearted way.

You do know that the only way to have some staying power in this business is to show some skin, right?

Exactly. I’m hoping that Maxim magazine will finally offer me a cover after this interview comes out. You know there are some guys who think nerdy girls are really hot!

My wife thinks she looks good and sometimes dresses up in lingerie and shit. How can I tell her nicely that she just needs to accept that shes an ugly, dried up whore that I will never buy viagra to bang, like Betty seems to?

I think your life will probably be a lot less painful if you tell her how beautiful she is everyday.

They say that sleeping with producers is the only way to get ahead in this business. Can you tell our readers, in extensive detail, about your first lesbian experience with Salma Hayek, producer of Ugly Betty. How many times did you have to go down on her before she gave you the part? Was she pregnant at the time of this?

Very funny. Unfortunately, I never met Salma as part of the casting process.

I actually emailed Salma Hayek years ago offering to be her stud and father her first born child. Not long ago, she announced that some old rich dude had shot her up with his millionaire sperm. I’m thinking of contacting a lawyer and explaining that since it was my idea first, I may technically be entitled to the rights to that pregnancy, and possibly the child itself. I mean, I do have it in writing, you know? Do you think I have a case?

I can understand why you would be jealous of the father of her baby. Maybe you could offer to be the child’s manny! Britney seemed to really love her manny…at least for a while.

On that note, working with Salma Hayek must be an incredible experience. And by incredible, I mean you must feel really blessed that you get to stare at her rack all day long. They’re real right?

I bet you would like to hear about that but again, I didn’t get to meet or hang out with Salma when I worked on the show. That’s the real reason you interviewed me, isn’t it?

What do you have to say to your many, many fans reading on drunkenstepfather.com? What can we expect from you in the months to come?

Well, being so famous can be overwhelming…I can’t even leave my house some days because of the screaming legions of fans and scores of paparazzi camped outside all the time. But seriously, I would like to thank all 3 of your readers. They make it all worth it, you know? As for the future…well, I just had an audition to play a 300 pound girl on Entourage…I ate nothing but cheeseburgers all week to prepare for the audition. I think they liked me, so we’ll see!

Do you think pretty people can be ugly and ugly people can be pretty, I am thinking Paris Hilton is ugly, but people think she’s hot and someone like Angelina Jolie is hot, but adopts aids babies and that’s pretty ugly…any thoughts?

Yeah, I know what you mean. But Angelina’s baby doesn’t have AIDS and Paris is only Ugly when she’s standing next to Kathy Griffin.

Cheers! XOXO

For more hot, nerdy pics check out actress Rachel Style at myspace.com/rachelstyle

Posted in:stepEXCLUSIVE|stepINTERVIEW

2007

21

May

I am – DJ AM is Gayer than Bicycle Shorts of the Day

I emailed DJ AM a while ago because I heard he was playing in Montreal. He never emailed me back. I asked him for guestlist because I figured we were friends, you know with me always speaking so highly of him and shit, but I was wrong. The motherfucker never emailed me back, he never put me on the list and I was forced to go through one of my stepdaughter’s friends to get in because DJ AM is a fucking cocksucker.

I got to the event and it was filled with so many fucking chachi pieces of shit. I felt like it was a Diesel Jeans sample sale and every Italian and his cousin came out to get a deal. AM came in with 4 bodyguards because he feels like he is more important than he really is and this is a video of him and one of his boyfriends trying to fix his DJ set up. I knew when I saw them that their relationship consisted of more than just fixing DJ equipment but this was as close as I got to the asshole giving the dude with the flashlight a rim job…

I left after 10 minutes because there is only so much overpaid Bar Mitvah DJing that I can handle and I heard dude made 6,000 dollars to play for all these fucking losers, and that probably means that this fucker is overpaid and that even though this video won’t make me 6,000 dollars, at least I go to bed knowing that I didn’t get to the top by sticking my lame penis up in Nicole Richie’s 90 pound cooch, not that I wouldn’t, but I just didn’t.

I may be drunk and this may be a drunk edit, but I think if you focus on the video, you can tell that DJ AM is a popstar that is Gayer than Bicycle shorts. The way this cocksucker handles his vinyl will make any queer dream of him diddling their anus….That means you….Homo… Cuddles…

PS – DJ AM, Next Time You Should Put Me On the Guestlist. Asshole.

Posted in:DJ|DJ AM|Gayer Than Bicycle Shorts|Hipster|Party|stepTV|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

21

May

I am – Posh Spice Has a Huge Hard Nipple of the Day

victoria_beckham_nipple.jpg

Victoria Beckham has really big nipples and since I am a pervert I figure I should post them. I once knew a girl with inverted nipples and that shit freaked me out. The whole time I was banging her, I dreamt about real nipples like this and I think that bitch tarnished me for life, making me drawn to this kind of thing, but that doesn’t really matter. What does matter is that I met a girl this weekend who I told I wasn’t interested in meeting because I don’t like knowing people and she told me that we had met before about 5 years ago and I made fun of her shoes. She remembered me from 2002 and has hated me since so I learned a little lesson about consequences and how one drunken night can change a person’s opinion of you and make them hold a grudge against you for many fucking years.l I saw that movie with Adam Sandler, where the dude from highschool was putting on lipstick plotting against those who wronged him and I always thought that I was that guy. It turns out that I was completely wrong, like Beckham’s plastic surgeon who accidentally put a penis up on her tits, but that doesn’t mean you should be a dick to people, because I think your legacy should be a nice one. People should remember you as the guy who everyone liked and not the guy who ripped everyone a new assholes. The point of the story is that you want to be Posh Spice’s nipples before the surgery, you don’t want to be the bi-product that people like me get off to. There’s a lesson in everything. Just call me the professor….


To see Posh Spice Covering Her Nipples With Pasties
GO

Posted in:Nipples|Posh Spice|Unsorted|Victoria Beckham

2007

21

May

I am – Michelle Marsh in a Bikini for Miss Britain of the Day

michelle_marsh_missuk.jpg

I have no idea who all these UK chick are, but I do know that they are sluttier than American girls and I am not too sure why. My whole life I was told that girls in the UK are fucking busted like an old pick up truck that I couldn’t afford if I tired because I am a hurtbag, but it seems like I am wrong.

I am wasted right now and I fucking hate when people say shit like “I am so fucked up” or “I am so drunk” or whatever people say when they party too hard. I know that no one really gives a fuck about how much I drank or what I did but the alcohol is fucking up my ability to say anything worth reading. My shirt is wet because some Cha Chi spilled his corona on me….and that is going to smell soon because I don’t wash my clothes…

I guess what it comes down to, is that even when I am sober, my stories really aren’t all that interesting, but at least I am capable of channeling that shit onto the website for the 3 of you who actually read what I write.

As I do some serious soul searching, I will just throw these up for you to think about how badly you fucked up in life, because we both know you aren’t going to bed everynight with girls that look like this. That’s all I have to say about that. I feel like I am Forrest fucking Gump. Just a little fatter because I have no interest in running around the country but I will say that my cigar is fucking sexy and my best friend right now. LOVE…



Posted in:Bikini|Michelle Marsh|Miss Britain|Unsorted

2007

21

May

I am – Pam Anderson In a Bikini of the Day

pam_anderson_bikini2.jpg

pam_anderson_bikini4.jpg

pam_anderson_bikini10.jpg

I don’t know when these are from, but someone emailed them to me and since I am too lazy to look shit up I am pretty much forced to post them. She looks better than usual and that’s not really saying much, because bitch is so haggard, these could be pictures of her taking a shit and they’d look better than most of the recent shit I’ve sen of her.

For the record, I don’t think girls taking a shit is that big of a deal. I remember when I was a punk teenager and would pretend that girls didn’t shit and I always had a good time hanging out with girls who would have debates with me trying to prove that they have never taken a shit and I used to fall for it and believe them. Next thing you know my face is all jammed in their asses in hopes of giving it to them. Unfortunately, I met a lot of girls who thought being one of the guys was cool and they’d talk about shit and they’d fart and they ruined the fantasy. Since then, I have come to terms with it and realize that women are people too…

That said, I tried to pull the same mind games on Pam Anderson. You know trying to convince myself that she isn’t getting older, that she didn’t have 10 kids, that she wasn’t made of plastic and that she came out of her mother’s box lookin’ like the slut we’ve all jerked off to, but realize that old, diseased and plastic is a lot better than anything I’ve seen recently and that is why I am posting these pics. Cuddles…


More Pics Can be Found Here
GO

Posted in:Bikini|Pamela Anderson|Unsorted

2007

18

May

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

picture-6.jpg

I think my computer is broken because it turns off on it’s own, which may be a good thing because I am too lazy to turn it off myself. It’s like telling me to stop fucking touching it and that is a feeling I am used to, because every girl I ever got with, even when paying them, would usually tell me to stop touching them. I didn’t like that stop me from doing my links though, it just took my hours instead of the 3-7 minutes it usually takes me. That’s how hard I work for you….

It is a long weekend in Canada and DJ AM is playing at some LAME fucking club here, I heard it on the radio. My goal is to get into that party for free and give him a shirt that says “GAYER THAN BICYCLE SHORTS” in hopes that he will take a picture for the site. I am a 15 year old girl like that. Reality is that I will probably not end up going because leaving my shithole apartment kinda scares me.

Here are my links…

Insane 14 Year Old Likes Sex
GO

Britney’s Got Some Fucked Up Hair and Takes Laxatives Because She Does Heroin
GO

Amy Winehouse gets Married and Wears and Bikini TOp
GO

Myleen Klass Bikini Pictures
GO

101 Hottest Tattooed Women in the World
GO

Nicole Kidman Naked in her New Movie
GO

Hollywood’s Hottest Moms
GO

Ana Beatriz Barros Does H+M Catalog in a Bikini
GO

Amateur Sex in Front of the Mirror
GO

John Stamos has a Freakishly Weird Belly Button
GO

Free Paris on your Chest
GO

Mischa Barton’s Early Years..
GO

A Band Called Placebo Called Out to their Fans to Make Videos of them Singing Their New Song, They Put it All Together and This is The New Video
GO

This is the New Bionic Woman
GO

Nude Dating SHow
GO

Amazing Condom Ad
GO

Vagina Art..
GO

Bai Ling Wears a White Bikini in Cannes
GO

Big Photobucket Tits
GO

Rapper Cam’ron Video Response to some Hip Hop Drama
GO

Peruvian Mayor Candidate Attacks TV Host
GO

Vintage Vibrator
GO

The Mangina that Scared Me
GO

Advice For Paris Hilton From a Whore
GO

Celebrities Giving the Finger but not the kind of Finger I Like
GO

Rugby Team Checking Their Balls for Testicular Cancer
GO

Sexy Soccer Video
GO

How an Idiot Removes a Loose Tooth
GO

Hot Candid Pics of Chicks Out and About
GO

The Hottest Whores in Horror
GO

Paris Hilton Drops her Appeal and Goes to Jail for 23 Days – Amazing…
GO

Britney Spears has Hard NIpples
GO

Photobucket Lesbian Lookin’ Good Sweetheart Posing
GO

Asian Chick in Virgin Gorda in a Bikini, Travel Videos are my New Porn
GO

Sung Hi Lee is Naked and Asian
GO

Nancy Odell is a MBILF and Want Ill Mitch Video at the Bottom of Page…
GO

Watch Howard the Duck Movie
GO

Depressing but Funny Tattoo
GO

Photobucket Ass
GO

Lame Teddy Bear Sex
GO

Last Night’s Party Does Big Tits
GO

She Hates Cum on her Face
GO

Fake Drugged Up Asian Sex That Looks Kinda Real To Me
GO

Sex in the Changing Room – NSFW
GO

Ryan Seacrest Ruined American Idol This Week
GO

Use this to get pussy
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

18

May

I am – Sophie Howard’s Selfshot Topless Pics of the Day

sophie_howard_candids11.jpg

Here are some candid topless selfshot pics of Sophie Howard, some slut from the UK.

I am not really sure when these hit the internet, it’s probably been a while, but that’s ok because I am still going to post them, that’s how committed I am to this shit. It’s Friday and I figure that since you won’t be getting any tits over the weekend, this will be an online substitute for you to jerk off to, and I love thinking about dudes jerking off to my writing. Reality is, if you can get off to a set of tits, you’re probably 12 years old and shouldn’t be looking at boobies on the internet, that’s what National Geographic and late night cable is for….

I am pretty happy digital cameras were invented, they have allowed every single girl who owns one to take nude pics. For the most part they get deleted or only sent to the lucky few who end up posting them on message boards for people like me, who don’t talk to anyone outside the computer, to look at….making the internet a creepy place that I call home.

These may not be leaked pics cuz she’s wearing 2 pairs of underwear and there’s photo equipment behind her, but it’s good enough.

Thanks ZINI LOVE

Posted in:Selfshot|Sophie Howard|Tits|Topless|Unsorted

2007

18

May

I am – Sophie Howard's Selfshot Topless Pics of the Day

sophie_howard_candids11.jpg

Here are some candid topless selfshot pics of Sophie Howard, some slut from the UK.

I am not really sure when these hit the internet, it’s probably been a while, but that’s ok because I am still going to post them, that’s how committed I am to this shit. It’s Friday and I figure that since you won’t be getting any tits over the weekend, this will be an online substitute for you to jerk off to, and I love thinking about dudes jerking off to my writing. Reality is, if you can get off to a set of tits, you’re probably 12 years old and shouldn’t be looking at boobies on the internet, that’s what National Geographic and late night cable is for….

I am pretty happy digital cameras were invented, they have allowed every single girl who owns one to take nude pics. For the most part they get deleted or only sent to the lucky few who end up posting them on message boards for people like me, who don’t talk to anyone outside the computer, to look at….making the internet a creepy place that I call home.

These may not be leaked pics cuz she’s wearing 2 pairs of underwear and there’s photo equipment behind her, but it’s good enough.

Thanks ZINI LOVE

Posted in:Selfshot|Sophie Howard|Tits|Topless|Unsorted