2006
19
Jan
Why are Italian kids so fuckin’ lame. I am not even gonna get into this. This pic was submitted by some guy who found this hysterical. I figured I would post it. I am not gonna write about how these 15 year old WOPs are trying to be all Mafia. I guess that’s what the culture is based on, Mafia and gnocchi and expensive suits. Point of the story is their hair.
Posted in:Junior Mafia|Unsorted
2006
19
Jan
Some dude is trying to auction off a chip that looks like a pussy. I have seen many pussies in my life, I’m talking big ones and little ones, tight ones and floppy ones, meaty ones and coinslotted ones, hairy ones and shaved ones, diseased ones and clean ones. I am not sure what’s vaginal about this, other than the fact that it is a little floral. I wasn’t trying to brag about the amount of pussy I’ve actually had because my penis doesn’t actually work, so don’t think I’m like that, I am just friendly with prostitutes who feel obligated to show me the cooch dance after I hook them up with meth. Bid on this auction, if you are a total poofter. If you want something vaginal buy a fuckin fleshlight.
Potato Chip looks like spread vagina lips *Must See*
MmMmmmm….Good Enough to eat! This is a rarity ladies and gentlemen. Everyone has penis shaped items but how often do you find something that looks like this rare potato chip. Bid now before it’s to late!
See the Auction Here (via Ben)
2006
18
Jan
I was inspired by my Beckham is a sex doll post, so I went on a quest to find a man and his doll in romantic love affair. This is what I came up with. I think the pictures speak for themself, dude’s in love with his doll, an unhealthy obsession but he’s got a beard and that in itself is creepy. I would say that I hope this guy is none of your dad’s but a man who loves a doll probably has very little real vagina, so little that knockin a bitch up isn’t an issue, either is STDs. If we’re lucky, this motherfucker is your teacher, or neighbor or manager at Best Buy. Because that would make this post funny.
2006
18
Jan
These pictures of Posh spice on the Runway for some Cavalli trashy bullshit fashion show are reminiscent of the time I dated a Real Doll. The only difference is that Posh spice knows how to walk, talk, make babies and do mass amounts of cocaine off her husband/soccer player’s abs. Either way, I wasn’t really in a love affair with a real doll, I could never afford that shit, and I wouldn’t get all freaky like showering the doll and taking the doll out on walks and fuckin’ dressing the doll up and sleeping with the doll because that represents some serious psychological issues. I would probably just get addiced to the pussy and I’d never leave my house, because it would be embarssing walking around with a real doll attached to your dick. That’s the kinda shit that gets you arrested.
Posted in:posh|Posh Spice|Sexy|Unsorted|Victoria Beckham
2006
18
Jan
I don’t really get off to watching nasty celebrities do their grocery shopping…I do get off to watching them eat, but that’s only because I have a food fetish. I like food and that is why I am fat. Apparantly Kirsten Dunst likes food too, but she’s just one of those slim-fat bitches, the kind that looks skinny, but the second her clothes are off – she’s all droppin all over the place. The only reason I know this is because she has big tits, real skinny don’t have big tits. It’s nice to see that celebrities have the luxury of actually going grocery shopping, I am forced to eat cans of creamed corn that I stole from the canning factory I used to work at, before the cunts fired me. This is unemployed Jesus, and I like to drink.
Posted in:Kirsten Dunst|Shopping|Unsorted
2006
18
Jan
I like a lot of different t-shirts, from art t-shirts, to trailer trash t-shirts, to band t-shirts. I don’t like ironic t-shirts, or shirts that say Mexcellent on them. I don’t like bitches who wear t-shirts that say “Cutie”, or “My Boyfriend’s Out of Town”. I do like Lynyrd Skynrd and by making this the t-shirt of the day, I am not saying this is fashion forward or that we are creating trends, I am saying they are a good band, and bitches love guys in Skynrd tees, especially if they smell musky from working on the trans am all day you fucking twat.
If you want this shirt – buy it or somethin’
Posted in:80's tees|80stees|Lynyrd Skynyrd|T-Shirt|Unsorted
2006
18
Jan
Festishes always make me laugh, especially when they take over a person’s life and everything they do revolves around that fetish. Last night I went to a strip club and chatted up the door check chick. She was from Orlando and moved up here for her boyfriend who she met on Halloween 4 years ago and married on halloween 2 years ago, and loves halloween. I guess having a thing for halloween isn’t really a fetish – it makes you a goth but either way her life revolves around Halloween like this mother fucker’s life revolves around bitches wrestling. The last time I saw two women wrestling, I was walking by a park and two inuit prostitutes were fighting over a 40 oz of malt liquor. I’m talkin serious fighting like gauging each others eyes and shit. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hard.
2006
17
Jan
All you hipster cocaine huffin’ 18 year old eating disorder trash, love this bitch. I don’t know how many times I hang with a certain gay black jewish local celebrity and hear her name dropped. It’s like anytime a girl can’t fit into a pair of size 2’s or anytime a bitch can’t rail the last line because of a nosebleed, MK’s name gets dropped. There are even MK impersonators out there, some in your very own town. Here’s another golden globe post, go fuck yourself.
Previously: I am – Girl Who Looks Like Mary Kate of the Day
Posted in:Golden Globes|Mary-Kate|Mary-Kate Olsen|MK|Olsen Twins|Unsorted
2006
17
Jan
She’s a model, and like every good model, she’s all fucked up. I don’t understand the controversy that goes down when a model is outted for being a drug user. The whole point of their lives is to look pretty, make insane money, fuck rockstars and do drugs, with the occassional photoshoot here and there, but who the fuck needs to be sober at a photoshoot – it’s not like you’re a fuckin accountant or some shit. Either way, Penny Lancaster is known for her long British legs, now she can be known for her twisted up thong, the only way I like my thongs. And by like I mean the only kind I know, since all the bitches I get with are usually too drunk to keep anything in order, especially their panties.
Posted in:Drugs|Hot|Model|Penny Lancaster|Unsorted
2006
17
Jan
I am sure every lame blogger out there makes the obvious Golden Globe joke when it comes to celebrity tits at the Golden Globes. I also really wasn’t in the mood to do any Golden Globe posts because every lame blogger is probably out there writing about it. If you can really call it writing. Well, I guess that I have to come to terms with the fact that I have a lame blog and so here I post Drew Barrymore’s “Golden Globes”, but by golden I mean disgusting, like fat lady “Golden Globes”. The kind you see when you spy on your grandmother changing “Golden Globes”. There is not much hope for these “Golden Globes” only down “Golden Globe” hill from here.
Posted in:Boobs|Drew Barrymore|Golden Globes|Tits|Unsorted
