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Archive for the Bikini Category

2008

29

Apr

Jeremy Piven’s Got a Hot Slut of the Day

22 Comments »

Jeremy Piven proves to the world that despite being overweight, bald and old, you can still get prime pussy, so long as you star on a TV show and treat everyone around you like shit because you think you are more famous than you are. This fake titty whore is definitely on some climbing the ladder shit, where Piven is the first wrung and the good news about that is that it doesn’t really matter what wrung you are as long as you are a wrung because when this bitch moves on to more important dick to further her career, there will be 100 new girls who are just as hot willing to jump through the hoops and by hoops I mean on your dick, because that’s just the way things are when you’re semi-famous and overpaid for offering the world nothing more than playing a useless role on a cable show, because these kinds of girls just over-achieving sluts but sluts nonetheless. So look at these pics and accept the fact that you made a shitty career move by taking that job at the factory when you should have swallowed your sexuality and taken your shot at acting because despite all the hot pussy and money, it’s still a career for homos.

Posted in:Bikini|Jeremy Piven|Slut

2008

29

Apr

Hulk Hogan Rubbing Lotion on Brooke Hogan of the Day

24 Comments »

These pictures are some awkward fuckin’ pictures of Brooke Hogan being rubbed down by her dad and not of her dad’s new girlfriend who looks like an older version of Brooke Hogan and a younger version of his wife. It’s been joked that he is dating an older version of his daughter because he has some kind of sick incestuous fantasy he’s got, like the first porn I saw called “Sharon” that was an incest porn from the 70s where the dad said classic lines like “this is the shit that made you going back in you” and “you sure didn’t learn how to suck dick from your mother” or “I’m going to come in your ass cuz I don’t want no bastard babies running around the house” but to be fair to Hulk, he’s a piece of trash and this is what pieces of trash pussy looks like.

I think he’s just knows how to tan properly and it’s his kind of right of passage to his daughter, you know showing her the right way to get ‘er done before he dies. It’s like seeing a butcher teach his kid how to cut meat or a farmer teaching his kid how to tend the fields, in some kind of passing the torch over to the next generation and its not sexual like the time he jerked off to watching her changing from the crack in her door or the time he accidentally walked in on her in the shower, despite having 4 other bathrooms in the house, or the time he took her virginity so she’d know how to do it proper. Maybe it’s some in love with yourself shit, where fucking something you made isn’t wrong, it’s masturbation but no matter what this genetic sexual attraction shit is, it makes me uncomfortable.

It’s a lot like the time I saw a kid rubbing his mom down with lotion at some public pool – Watch It

UPDATE – MORE PICS FROM THE INCESTUOUS EVENT

Posted in:Bikini|Brooke Hogan|Hulk Hogan|Lotion

2008

28

Apr

Pheobe Price Bikini Pictures of the Day

5 Comments »

Phoebe Price is a whole lot of nothing, and by nothing I mean cellulite. She’s always bringing her freckled pasty body out to events and now she’s showing it off in a bikini. Sure no guy in his right mind would get up in this sack of shit but at least she’s got her dog, because he can’t report her to the authorities when she tries to shove him into her womb head first.

Speaking of sack of shit, I was in an immigrant taxi when wasted this weekend and dude stank of fuckin’ spicy armpit. I was wasted and gagging in the backseat and my only salvation was to stick my head between my legs and fart my drunken farts. Sure it wasn’t my proudest moment as I sat there smelling my own fart as to not throw up to his fat Taxi Driver stench, it was a defense mechanism that was a much more enjoyable that lookin’ at these pictures. I guess to be fair to Phoebe Price, I kinda like smelling ass…even if it’s my own.

Posted in:Bikini|Phoebe Price

2008

28

Apr

Shauna Sand Bikini Pictures of the Day

9 Comments »

Nothing says classy like a bitch with a Playboy tattoo who’s only claim to fame is being in Playboy. It’s like she got that shit back when she was a worthless stripper and the guys at Playboy felt obligated to give her a spread because they were so flattered that she was enough of a slut to brand herself with their company logo. Thank god they don’t do that for every tacky party slut who has a Playboy tattoo because I know that hot girls rarely get that shit, it’s more like every single tacky fat party slut who thinks she’s got it going on because one asshole was drunk enough to tell her she looked good enough for Playboy to get a blowjob and she took her new found self esteem to the tattoo parlor to remember that day forever…..

Either way, here’s Shauna Sand in a bikini.

Posted in:Bikini|Shauna Sand

2008

28

Apr

Brooke Hogan Bikini Pictures of the Day

5 Comments »

Here’s some pictures of Brooke Hogan with her manly boyfriend out in a bikini when he should be the one in the bikini. She’s been forced to tan outside since her parents are having a bitter custody battle over their tanning beds. At least she’s been able to emotionally eat her way through this whole mess….

Posted in:Bikini|Brooke Hogan

2008

25

Apr

Heather Locklear Bikini Pictures of the Day

4 Comments »

Here’s some Old Lady Locklear getting all competitive with Denise Richards and going as far as to stage her own bikini photoshoot with the paparazzi because her ego hasn’t fully recovered from having her husband leave her or the younger tighter body. She’s trying to prove to herself and to us that she’s got it going on and the truth is that she looks better than most 50 year old, but then again her life consists of doing absolutely nothing, so I can only assume that staying in shape and trying to retain as much of the sex appeal that got her this career in the first place is top priority, so in that case she’s doing a pretty shitty job of it.

There used to be a show on called Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon where you’d try to figure out how a person was six degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon….I am generally bad at games because I find them ridiculous and every time I end up at someone’s house and the board games are out, I drink the the free booze, eat the free food, then make my escape because playing that shit makes me feel like a total asshole and it’s embarrassing that at 38 I’d still find entertainment out of something so ridiculous, but today, I broke free from that because Heather Locklear’s six degrees from Kevin Bacon is easy. I forgot where I was going with this, but Locklear is still a slut, even as she enters the golden years of her life and that’s all I have to say about that.

Posted in:Bikini|Heather Locklear

2008

25

Apr

Denise Richards Bikini Pictures of the Day

6 Comments »

Denise never had much to offer the world other than her sex scene with Neve Campbell in Wild Things. As much as I hated that movie, there’s just something about seeing two sluts get it on for Kevin Bacon that would make me think shit was overlooked for an Academy Award. It’s that kind of cinematic history that is only remembered by perverts and dudes who rent movies based on the level of nudity they have in them and it’s too bad that shit was the peak of her career because way back then, she was actually hot. Here she is trying to hold onto that sex appeal by running around in a Bikini in some staged photoshoot to draw publicity to her new show. If I was on the beach, which I am not and haven’t been on in years because I don’t live the celebrity life of luxury, I wouldn’t mind lookin’ at her in hopes of a vagina lip hangin’ out but the second a younger, tighter body walks by this hag, I’ll be getting my creep on elsewhere. It’s one of those better than nothing situations like the time you jerked off to your sister on a family camping trip because it was between her and your mom and jerking off to your mom just felt too wrong…

Posted in:Bikini|Denise Richards|Tits

2008

25

Apr

Britney Spears Bikini 20 Pounds Lighter of the Day

11 Comments »



So they say Britney is in the best shape she’s been in years and that she’s lost something like 20 pounds of disgusting, but the truth is that I never found Britney disgusting, even in her three day old miscarriage panties, I was just happy to know she wasn’t pregnant with the paparazzi baby because the paparazzi are fucking scum and don’t deserve to reproduce. I am also loyal like a dog and remember wanting to fuck her in all those slutty music videos and won’t walk away from that just because she’s put on a bit of weight and went a little crazy and had a couple babies, she still looks better than anything I’ve fucked and her bank account can support my really affordable life.

Either way, here she is in some magazine bikini pictures lookin’ hot enough for me to fuck but that’s not saying much considering at this point in my life, I’d fuck rotting hamburger meat and shit would smell better than my wife’s pussy. I realize I am on a wife kick today, she pissed me off this morning when I realized she was still breathing….so I take that disappointment out on you.

Posted in:20 Pounds|Bikini|Britney Spears

2008

24

Apr

Olivia Munn Bikini Photoshoot of the Day

6 Comments »

Virgins like Olivia Munn and I like making fun of virgins, especially when they are in their late 20s who collect action figures, who love comic books and who spend their lives hiding in their apartment filled with computer equipment. The same kind of virgin who got excited when Geek Chic became popular 5 years ago, thinking that it was finally their time to shine, until that fad faded fast, leaving them alone to watch TV shows designed for teenage girls, even though they are more sexually inexperienced than teenage girls and can hardly relate to the subject matter and other shit like G4TV because they have a crush on the host who pretends she can relate to geeks by reading a script and lookin’ decent enough for the geeks to feel like they really have someone they can connect with, even though she’s on TV and not on their couch watching Star Trek with them.

None of that matters, what does matter is that Olivia Munn got into her bikini again for the geeks to get more excited about how hot they think she is, but that hotness is probably 95 percent delusion that she’s actually into the same shit as they are – when in reality, she’s just into the paycheck and the whole getting on TV thing because every girl who thinks she’s hot also thinks she deserves fame and fortune, even when they don’t and the closest they can get is a third rate show on a third rate cable channel only losers care about.

Posted in:Bikini|Olivia Munn|Photoshoot

2008

22

Apr

Fergie is in a Bikini Again of the Day

2 Comments »

I think it’s great that Fergie was able to pull her vagina out of the gutter, get off drugs, get out of debt and now have the money to buy anything she wants but doesn’t have to buy because companies are throwing the shit at her for free. It’s always been one of life’s weird dynamics, where companies want celebrities to promote their brands so they give them tons of product even though they can afford the shit while poor people they are marketing their shit too have to work their asses off for a month just to be able to afford a pair of fuckin’ sneakers they want. I guess it doesn’t matter, but is part of the reason why I’ve decided to make myself famous.

The bad news for Fergie is that despite her rise to the top, she forgot her face in the gutter and looks about 15 years older than she is. She’s like one of those kids I saw on Maury who had that disease where they age at hyperspeed and die of old age by the time they are 5. Her fake fiance will be in for an interesting surprise in a couple of years when he’s stuck dealing with a bitch who looks 75, and for his sake I just hope her pussy isn’t on the same course, because despite how sexy some 75 year olds are, their vaginas are pretty fuckin’ disgusting and smell like moth balls. At least that’s the story I heard…..

Posted in:Bikini|Fergie