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Archive for the Pussy Category

2007

23

Aug

I am – Jade Jagger Nude Beach Pictures of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

I once wrote that I loved this bitch, I am not sure why, because she’s in her late 30’s and that’s not usually my style, I like younger fresher meat, but she’s the daughter of Mick and Bianca Jagger and I guess she’s normally hot and has a lot of money, just not so hot when naked on the beach.

I think the funniest thing about this shit is that it reminds me of my life. For some reason whenever I used to convince a drunk girl to get naked for me, or flash me her tits or shows me her box, I always miss it the first time around, like I wasn’t ready for it and when I ask them to do it again they always just think I am some pervert trying to get a second peak even when I am paying them…I remember hooking up an hour with a frigid whore, I didn’t really think shit was possible but bitch would let you bang her but she wanted the lights off, she wanted to do it missionary and she refused to do much more than lie there like you were fucking a scared virgin, only she was a hooker and her pussy wasn’t built like a virgin, it was purchased bad sex and I guess she catered to guys who liked to pretend they were getting with the 50 year old Jewish or Italian wife who never goes down on them, I figure it was either for guys who were still living in their mom’s basement or for husbands who were married to nymph’s and just wanted to feel like their friends for a change…

Either way, this photographer got a naked bitch on the beach, but didn’t get one bit of tit or ass or fuckin’ pussy. I don’t know how that can happen when shit’s not staged because these pictures remind me of every PG movie nude scene and it’s kinda making me mad…


Related Posts:
Jade Jagger Almost Has an Upskirt
James Jagger Turns 18
Lisa Marie and Jeff Goldblum on the Beach Naked

Posted in:Ass|Jade Jagger|Naked|Naturist|Nude|Nude Beach|Nudist|Pussy|Tits|Unsorted

2007

09

Jul

I am – Brooke Hogan Bikini Pictures of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Brooke Hogan on the beach in a bikini lookin’ alright for Brooke Hogan.

The funny thing about bikinis like this is that they are pretty fucking revealing. I was looking at these pictures before posting them and I could see her full vagina. I can tell where there’s meat and where there isn’t and that’s pretty much the closest thing there is to seeing her sprawled out on a bed diddling herself naked. When a girl is just rockin’ underwear, you don’t see this kind of definition and this post may make me seem creepy as fucking hell but I am not the only one thinking this. I was talking to a friend who just went to some public pool who went off about how he doesn’t understand why guys focus on tits and asses when girls are around them in bikinis, you just have to look at the crotch and pretty much see everything they have to offer. My friend is also a 3 time sex offender so maybe it is a little creepy.

Eitehr way, I want to go off on how Brooke Hogan is thick and disgusting and has a broken down pick up truck of a face and looks like a man but these pictures don’t bother me, she’s tight bodied and bigger and now that I know she’s got a box and not balls, I am way more into her and her cheap stripper ways than I was before.

Posted in:Bikini|Brooke Hogan|Pussy|Tits|Unsorted|Vagina|Wet

2007

29

Jun

I am – Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo Naked of the Day

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These pictures were taken by photo agency FAME and they are of Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo naked. Unfortunately the fuckers sold the picture to Life & Style magazine and the uncensored version hasn’t hit the internet yet. I emailed x17 asking them to send me the unedited version, which could have been a mistake since those fuckers hate me and sites like me and sue all of our asses as often as they have to to protect their really lucrative, yet sleazy business of taking pictures of celebrities naked. The reason I am posting these is in hopes that one of my 12 readers, that means you, works at this magazine and has a copy of the original.

I always was fascinated with pubic hair and pussy and always wanted to know what bitch is rockin’. I remember when I was in school I used to ask all the girls to tell me about their pubic hair. I’d want to know what color shit was, I wanted to know how shit was maintained, was it bald, was it rectangular, was it triangular, was it dealt with by using scissors, wax, Nair or a razor or was it full blown bush. I never got kicked out of school for sexual harassment, only because it was a different era, no one ever complained and the teachers were probably just as into the shit I was doing and the information i was trying to get as I was, that’s why they were highschool teachers and didn’t have real jobs.

If that happened today, I probably would have never finished the ninth grade. They would have kicked me out and sent me to therapy or an all boys school or some shit good thing they didn’t because an all boy’s school would have given me little information for my autobiography that I will never write that is going to be called Life as a Pervert.


If you’re bored find me a contact at this agency…

Posted in:Bush|Naked|Nick Lachey|Pussy|Tits|Unsorted|Vanessa Minnillo

2007

20

Jun

I am – Toastee From Flavor of Love Sex Tape of the Day

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Some dude just asked me to sing the song Lip Gloss by Lil’ Mama to him over the phone. I don’t know what that song is or what motherfucker was implying when he wrote that to me, but I can only assume it was gay.

I also got an email about some whore named Toastee who is in some new celebrity sex tape video from Vivid, because Vivid is hooked on releasing celebrity sex tapes, even when the people are half rate celebrities. She was on some show called Flavor of Love, that I have heard of, but have never seen, but I don’t think that qualifies her as being a celebrity or having a celebrity sex tape. She’s just a girl with a dream of living the life and the only way for her talentless self to live the dream is by fucking on camera. It’s called being a fucking pornstar and girls have been exploiting themselves for money forever, because let’s face it, if you have no self respect it’s a pretty fucking easy job.

I watched the trailer, took some screenshots to show you pretty much all you’re going to see in it and I don’t really think this bitch deserves a post, I kinda hate all these reality TV stars who thought being on TV would make them famous and are now trying to find ways to stay in the limelight by showing their cunts. Not that Flavor of Love was a big deal or could really count as making anyone famous, but these bitches are clearly idiots dying for attention that even if you threw them up on public access they’d think they were Paris Hilton.

I shouldn’t be so hard on her though, because if all girls were like Toastee, I’d have a lot of content to work with, but I’d also hate every girl out there for being a whore, and I’d probably take Lip Gloss boy up on his offer, if you know what I mean. Thank god it hasn’t come to that. Cuddles.


Check Out the Trailer and Official Site
GO

Posted in:Flavor of Love|Pussy|Sex Tape|Toastee|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

06

Sep

Lindsay Lohan is Flashin' Her Dirty Box of the Day

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I am officially an idiot, I was saw these pictures yesterday and I was debating whether I should post them or not because they looked like they were fake. I wake up this morning and they are all over the motherfucking place and here I am sitting on the golden Lohan pussy shot that would have made me rich. If any fucking site should be posting this shit it should have been me because I am the Lohan stalker and because I sleep in, and the fact that I sleep on pictures that look fake. These are probably reasons why I am not successful.

That said. I should learn to trust my instincts. Like the time I was getting down with this slutty girl and she insisted we use a condom and I was all like – Fuck that shit, I don’t roll like that, 4-6 weeks later I was pissing fire. Speaking of Fire, here are the Lohan pics, which unfortunately don’t have any orange pubic hair because bitch waxes. She obviously doesn’t know that redheads aren’t supposed to go bald and that they have to embrace their orange pubes because that is the main reason a motherfucker’s slamming them. We’ve all heard that orange pussy exists we just want to see what an orange pussy looks like. I guess another reason someone would slam a redhead could be because dude’s drunk at the bar and she’s the last one standing because redheads are like super heros and are always the last to fall. I have a whole theory that involves them being thought of as devils when they were born in the middle ages and how their parents would throw them in the woods to survive making the redheaded gene a strong one. But that’s no the point, the point is Lohan’s box is not as mangled as I thought.

Posted in:flash|Lindsay Lohan|Pussy|Unsorted|Vagina

2006

06

Sep

Lindsay Lohan is Flashin’ Her Dirty Box of the Day

lindsaybox03.jpg

I am officially an idiot, I was saw these pictures yesterday and I was debating whether I should post them or not because they looked like they were fake. I wake up this morning and they are all over the motherfucking place and here I am sitting on the golden Lohan pussy shot that would have made me rich. If any fucking site should be posting this shit it should have been me because I am the Lohan stalker and because I sleep in, and the fact that I sleep on pictures that look fake. These are probably reasons why I am not successful.

That said. I should learn to trust my instincts. Like the time I was getting down with this slutty girl and she insisted we use a condom and I was all like – Fuck that shit, I don’t roll like that, 4-6 weeks later I was pissing fire. Speaking of Fire, here are the Lohan pics, which unfortunately don’t have any orange pubic hair because bitch waxes. She obviously doesn’t know that redheads aren’t supposed to go bald and that they have to embrace their orange pubes because that is the main reason a motherfucker’s slamming them. We’ve all heard that orange pussy exists we just want to see what an orange pussy looks like. I guess another reason someone would slam a redhead could be because dude’s drunk at the bar and she’s the last one standing because redheads are like super heros and are always the last to fall. I have a whole theory that involves them being thought of as devils when they were born in the middle ages and how their parents would throw them in the woods to survive making the redheaded gene a strong one. But that’s no the point, the point is Lohan’s box is not as mangled as I thought.

Posted in:flash|Lindsay Lohan|Pussy|Unsorted|Vagina

2006

24

Jan

Agent Provocateur Bush Picture of the Day

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I think Agent Provocateur is the hottest lingerie line. The reason is simple. It’s styled from 1920’s burlesque. This shit reminds me of my mom. Back in Mexico in the ’70s, all my mom could afford was used underwear from America, the sexy stuff was from the ’20s and ’30s. She would rock her american panties all day, everyday so it is a fond memory. Well a little more fond than hearing her shove things in her client’s asses, or seeing her get fucked all day everyday, we all need to make a living. I guess the other reason I dig Provocateur is cuz it’s classy and sheer and since I like bush, and I have said that bush is the future of pubic hair styling over and over again. Bald is played out but I think the bikini wax is hype if you are a cheesy chick from the suburbs; the kind of girl who dances on the bar in a “My Boobs Are Real” ironic t-shirt, even though bitch has implants, flashing her g-string that says cutie and shows off her playboy bunny tattoo. But I am done with strippers. I am more into sophisticated bitches who know how to read, who can teach me things, and who have a little bush. This has been the Agent Provocateur Bush Picture of the Day.

Visit Agent Provocateur Here

Posted in:Agent Provocateur|Burlesque|Bush|Hot|Lingerie|Pussy|Sexy|Unsorted|Vagina

2006

19

Jan

eBay Item of the Day

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Some dude is trying to auction off a chip that looks like a pussy. I have seen many pussies in my life, I’m talking big ones and little ones, tight ones and floppy ones, meaty ones and coinslotted ones, hairy ones and shaved ones, diseased ones and clean ones. I am not sure what’s vaginal about this, other than the fact that it is a little floral. I wasn’t trying to brag about the amount of pussy I’ve actually had because my penis doesn’t actually work, so don’t think I’m like that, I am just friendly with prostitutes who feel obligated to show me the cooch dance after I hook them up with meth. Bid on this auction, if you are a total poofter. If you want something vaginal buy a fuckin fleshlight.

Potato Chip looks like spread vagina lips *Must See*

MmMmmmm….Good Enough to eat! This is a rarity ladies and gentlemen. Everyone has penis shaped items but how often do you find something that looks like this rare potato chip. Bid now before it’s to late!

See the Auction Here (via Ben)

Posted in:chip|ebay|Pussy|stuff|Unsorted