SFW Archives - Page 405 of 1171 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2018

10

May

Olivia Culpo See Through of the Day

Every single instagram model, who has mastered instagram however the fuck they’ve managed to master instagram…maybe they dated Dan Bilzarian, or maybe they were in a music video with their awesome tits out, or maybe they were just early and on the explore page, but smart enough to say “I’m a blogger”…without even having a blog..because I am a blogger and I know first hand no one gives a fuck about bloggers…they give a fuck about social media feeds and within social media comes celebrities in that ecosystem…and I wouldn’t say CULPO is one of them…but it seems like people pay her a lot of money to do things…

But it’s nice to know she’s still a bottom feeding whore putting her see through dress on to be “classy but provocative”…even though I spot opportunist dick sucking trash a mile a way…

Her last attempt at legitimacy was when she dated a New England Patriot during the Super Bowl, I don’t think that could have been a better situation for her, I mean provided dude knocked her up and didn’t realize she was just using him as a prop for her instagram – whilst making herself more famous….so she got dumped and here she is in see through recovering from that marketing re-routing…

Garbage…definitely.

Posted in:Olivia Culpo|SFW

2018

10

May

Tallia Storm Bikini Cameltoe of the Day

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Tallia Storm is some big thighed Scottish singer who has a publicist mother – who was smart enough to train her daughter to whore herself out…at events like Cannes where this is her third or fourth year attending…working the paparazzi by jacking bikini bottoms up her cunt…because that is how you get noticed, increase her profile and exist in this world filled with noise..

Also clever to use the whole Scottish thing as an angle, big fish small pond, maximize local media and eventually break through to the mainstream…

If you have a busty 18 year old teen girl near you to exploit…the world is your fucking oyster…and here’s Tallia Storm’s oyster eating bikini bottoms…

Posted in:SFW|Tallia Storm

2018

10

May

Jamie King Spreading Her Legs of the Day

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Jamie King was some Heroin addict titty model who’s boyfriend died back when she was a heroin addict titty model..in the 90s when heroin addict titty models were a thing…

She was a “hipster it girl”…who somehow (her tits) went on to be some kind of celebrity in movies, but you can’t take the heroin addict sex worker out of a person’s core…they are built on that…it is their foundation.

Even as a mom pushing 40, she’s all spread legged wanting you to look at her soul, or try to see her womb, or get excited by her meaty lady parts….because when you’re a sex worker who has made it in whatever capacity this one has made it…y

I guess what it comes down to is – who the fuck cares about Jamie King.

Posted in:Jamie King|SFW

2018

10

May

Aubrey O’Day Hard Nipples of the Day

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Aubrey O’Day is working pretty hard at her comeback tour…

I know taking a slutty picture of yourself half naked isn’t really working hard…but she’s in her 30s and had to spend at least 6 months and a lot of money on the surgeries that made her look like this…as part of her comeback tour…

Then there’s the whole no one caring about her at all…so she needed a top tier scandal to matter….which took orchestrating…

And then there’s the whole getting into a bathing suit, and showing up somewhere,to have pics taken…which for a lazy bitch can be a struggle…

I think the life lesson in all this is that thanks to surgery, you call all look like french Canadian muppet looking strippers….at an affordable rate…and that you should never give up being the slut you are at your core…because there’s always more slut in you…

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|SFW

2018

10

May

Willa Holland Tits Out of the Day

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Willa Holland was the younger sister on the O.C., which was a show I watched when it was on TV, because it gave me something to talk to college girls about, since I had nothing better to talk to college girls about, because even a decade ago, they were dumb, self involved cunts, with little to no substance, who relied on weekly TV shows and dumb punchlines from dumb movies as a starting point in a conversation… to really feel like they had enough of a connection to sit on your face later that night…

I mean I was in my 40s….and I guess what the fuck else were we to do with each other….in an era before everyone was online and we couldn’t just Facebook friend, selfie and tag each other on instagram or tinder, it required actual work to get laid like “OMG Marissa was such a bitch to Seth Last Week”…you know the shit that really makes a girl tick at her fucking core…because women are idiots…

Either way, the unmemorable “Marissa’s little sister”…lives in LA…is dating or married to an instagram photographer who blocked me, because I guess he felt he hit the big time with this one….and I guess he did because she’s Brian DePalma’s stepdaughter or some shit, which is pretty iconic, and only because it means her mom is a groupie gold digging whore…who stage parents and created whatever this smoking instagram naked for attention this is…

Good times. Great Times.

Posted in:SFW|Willa Holland

2018

10

May

Taylor Swift Will Never Be Hot of the Day

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Taylor Swift on the Opening Night of her new Tour – Trying to be sexy.. dudes tuck game is strong..

I know people would like Slutty Taylor Swift in Lingerie in Concert…..because people have no fucking taste, but are perverts who liked her when she was a teen girl scamming the system, all skinny and awkward and singing about teen romance they never experienced, because no one ever experienced that shit, it was all fiction, made up as a concept of what dumb teens think life is supposed to be, but this one was kept in a cage by her parents so that she keeps writing her shit that is so far removed from reality, thanks to being in the cage….while other kids bought into the lies because they thought that is how life was supposed to be and their life wasn’t like that…thanks to marketing, the media, etc.

Taylor Swift…the Fast Food of emotionally driven music…music that is disguised as being “real life”….but that has no soul and is just about the dollar signs…

Her going from country, to pantsless, doesn’t quite make sense to me, I guess the awkward girl always wanted to be the slutty model girl, hence why all her songs are about “put it in my butt, I don’t want to have to have an abortion and lie to my Christian fans about it”….even though I can assure you she’s had an abortion….and that everything about her is not Christian or Country…whether she has a house in Nashville or not..it’s just part of the marketing lie.

I hate all things Taylor Swift…especially not being able to see cameltoe in her tight panties doing her Madonna impersonation or whatever the fuck this is…

Put some damn jeans and chaps on and line dance ho…..down…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:SFW|Taylor Swift

2018

10

May

Blake Lively Nipples in NYC of the Day

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Blake Lively has done a little homewrecking. She’s done a little aging. She’s done a few movies that don’t matter. All since being cast in Gossip Girl, the only reason she exists, which I guess is more of a reason that most people have to justify why the paparazzi is taking pics of them. I’m talking to you Phoebe Price…my lord and savior…

Blake Lively has had a couple of kids, maybe one kid, I don’t know how many kids, I don’t follow her or her Ryan Gossling / Reynolds / Burt Reynolds romances and I don’t know what men she lets cum up inside her.

But I don’t mind looking at the 40 year old in a dress without a bra on, leaving an air conditioned place with one of her lovers, rocking some mom nipples like you’ve never seen on Blake Lively before….because after breast feeding a kid, and having your tit gnawed at by a kid….the nipples get more aggressive in behavior…I know this because I saw a wild Coyote the other day…and the nipples were fucking everywhere…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Blake Lively|SFW

2018

10

May

Jennifer Lopez Bra Through Shirt of the Day

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Jennifer Lopez knows that her latin fan base, fucking love her, and see her as an idol because she made it.

She’s not living in the ghetto, working at hotels or in the service industry. She has broke free from all that and become a huge star on all levels, in part to her ass, in part to culturally appropriating the life of a Mexican, in what would hopefully be seen as racist in this era of “A MEXICAN BETTER PLAY A MEXICAN THIS IS A DISGRACE TO THE LIFE OF SELENA KNOWING A PUERTO RICAN PORTRAYED HER”…as culturally they are different, because Puerto Ricans are americans…but I guess people only get mad when white people play black people, and non trans people play trans people, I’m talking to you Felicity Huffman….

Point of the story is that despite being 100, she’s really trying to stay as hot as possible, on some Gloria Estefan shit, knowing that forever, until the end of time, the fans will still praise her…even though she can’t speak spanish, hasn’t bothered learning spanish, while that Spanish is her fucking lifeline….because she’s rich and lazy and doesn’t have to…

She just needs to wear slutty, clothes that aren’t age appropriate, and here she is….saying “look at my bra”….like the stripper on snapchat I follow…only J.Lo.

Posted in:J.Lo|Jennifer Lopez|SFW

2018

10

May

Ireland Baldwin’s Extra Large Panties of the Day

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Ireland Baldwin is 7 feet tall and 250 pounds…because that’s the way she’s built…but like many Amazon women, just not all Amazon sized women, she’s managed to be semi proportionate, despite being 7 feet tall and 250 pounds…so she can Anna Nicole (pre-obesity, slim spa, death from opiates) this shit and confuse the hell out of people in photos because she seems normal sized…but the second you let this unstable monster, or is it a PIG as her dad so kindly described her when she was 10, out of her cage and let her stand next to normal sized people you see just how monstrous and terrifying she actually is….

That said, she had a chance to be an instagrammer, fucked that up with a series of breakdowns and teen angst moments, paving the way for her cousin Hailey who actually made it and is living the dream via her own scamming way, that I guess they both are living because their last name had already paved the way for them, only this one’s dad was already so famous, she didn’t have to try as hard as the skinnier, normal sized, hotter cousin to make it…she didn’t have that Stephen Baldwin embarassment that lead to drive or at least to hang out with the “cool kids” knowing eventually you’d be able to monetize off it….

I guess it pays to have a deadbeat, embarassing dad….

Posted in:Ireland Baldwin|SFW

2018

10

May

January Jones Tits of the Day

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January Jones Tit in Robe is a Fetish somewhere, which is the same logic as Jimmy Buffett’s “It’s 5 O’clock Somewhere”….because he panders to fat alcoholic trash with diabetes in their motorized scooters looking for a taste of “paradise” through sugary adult slushy drinks….the caribbean experience for retired trash that can neither afford the real caribbean experience…or really want the real caribbean experience…but rather the mall version of it….

What I am saying is that January Jones Tit in Robe is pandering to some group of virgin loser tit lover, in a low level way that people pretend isn’t low level thanks to her being on TV, making her high level….while we all know that dicks were sucked to get to this point in her career…we also know she’s 40, a single mother being a stereotype who can just put the tit away already….but no one’s told her…she’s still trying to matter the way it worked the first time.

Posted in:January Jones|SFW

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