SFW Archives - Page 43 of 1171 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2020

06

Jan

All the Tits at the Golden Globes of the Day

Award shows are a dated concept that suck. I’ve been saying this the last 15 years. There is no reason to celebrate the celebrities who are all full of shit dick riders willing to sell themselves harder than any crackwhore looking for her next fucking hit of crack…

They walk around like they are important and believe their own hype, but are ultimately shit and don’t matter.

What they do for work in the “creative” space is not life changing, they are all replaceable, and sure, I am all for content being made for me to mindlessly watch…but I don’t need to know the person behind the role I am watching them in, if anything it makes me hate them more.

I don’t know when celebrities started getting paid more than SUBWAY SANDWICH ARTISTS, because I feel about as much “artistry” goes into their work and that we could easily replace every last celebrity with better looking unknowns…which I guess is why I like the low level instagram models who are basically throwing a curve ball at the industry saying “fuck ya’ll you suck, we can do what you do and we don’t have billion dollar budgets”…unfortunately those instagram sluts all want to be celebrities, not troll celebrity or show how easy it is to replace them, which makes me hate them too. But you get what I am saying…and that is that pinning people up against each other like making movies is a contest…stupid…and designed to generate hype…marketing man..that’s what runs this world…or at least America…Hollywood, entertainment, the media design YOU…not define you..but DESIGN you…brainwashing shit.

That said, I have a digital antennae that was given to me and an old TV I found in the trash that it works on, so I did TUNE in. I didn’t “Live Blog” or “Live Tweet” it…because twitter deleted me so I don’t bother. Fuck the repressive media outlets for not letting me have my voice.

Anyways, I missed Gervais calling James Cordon a Fat Pussy….which I would have liked because I hate that guy. I did see Gervais callout all the celebs with his rant on “you would sell your soul to ISIS if you could and you already work for the devil evil corporations, so fuck off with your politics you self involved cunts, who are uneducated and live in your rich person bubbles”…which was nice to hear whatever you swing politically. Celebrities are shit and I’ve been making a point of that here for 15 years…despite no one listening…

Some other observations….fuck Fleabag, get rid of the hype around that shit. She’s the new Lena Dunham and sucks. Fuck Charlize Theron who pretends she wasn’t a South African dad killing whore who fucked her way into Hollywood when in hiding from killing her dad. Tom Hanks has recently been implicated in Pizza Gate so his sign off on his speech about “the gate” of a camera was a weird approach. Ellen is a troll who is manipulating all of you for her world domination and she’s not even trying to hide it..calculating cunt who likes cunt….Succession is a good fucking show. Even if will Ferrell and Funny or Die offend me in a deep rooted way….I haven’t seen Joker, but big fan of Jaoquin Phoenix and his speech. Brad Pitt is better looking than Leo Dicaprio and I was glad to see Brad Pitt win. Quentin Tarantino’s awkward speech thanking himself because he is an awkward nerd was ok….Marriage Story was over-written, self involved, masturbatory shit from Noah Baumbach who annoys me in all his over-written movies. Glad it lost. Scarjo is old, haggard, overrated even with her tits out, her acting bores me so glad she lost too. I would have liked to see Kirsten Dunst win for the show about Pyramid Schemes in Florida, she’s amazing on that. I hated Michelle Williams and her abortion Speech that I assume meant she got an abortion to get a career before Heath Ledger died. I would have liked to see Joey King win instead for playing that retard kid who killed her mom. I loved Patricia Arquette’s titties….who played Joey King’s mom but she was looking more Alexis Arquette than Patricia Arquette. Margot Robbie is overrated and barely hot, Paul Rudd is an overly happy motherfucker who needs to be beat up…Actors who pretend they are happy and love each other are transparent we know you all hate each other…Hollywood is one big horrible high school….and Actors who think what they do actually matters are just fucking bloated egos and inspire me to keep hating on them….

I guess I’ve written enough that you won’t read…so to see a HUGE amount of the GOLDEN GLOBES IN PICTURES CLICK HERE

Enjoy the sluts…

Zoey Deutch with the low cut dress but the face looking a lil downs

Taylor Swift squinting to see if anyone cares about her – they don’t.

Sydney Sweeney bringing the gOOds

Sofia Vergara still around

TO SEE THE REST OF THE TITS OUT AT THE GOLDEN GLOBES CLICK HERE

Sophia Bush with the cleavage

Sienna Miller is still hot

Shailene Woodley smells like she uses a composting toilet in the woods but whatever

Scarlett Johansson and her ridiculous back tattoo

Patricia Arquette’s iconic big tits

Sara Hyland probably wasted, living on borrowed time with like her 4th kidney

TO SEE THE REST OF THE TITS OUT AT THE GOLDEN GLOBES CLICK HERE

Saorise Ronan titty flash

Salma Hayek wore her lingerie to the party as she should

Rowan Blanchard hiding her armpit hair..barely…

Rooney Mara rich kid in a head piece

Rachel Bilson looking good, and dating Bill Hader..

TO SEE THE REST OF THE TITS OUT AT THE GOLDEN GLOBES CLICK HERE

Nina Dobrev spends a lot of time on boats with rich dudes but whatever..

Nicole Kidman as terrifying as ever

Naomi Watts Hot

Margot Robbie is so boring

Lucy Boynton looks familiar

Kristin Cavallari somehow got invited

Kirsten Dunst hiding her tits sadly..

TO SEE THE REST OF THE TITS OUT AT THE GOLDEN GLOBES CLICK HERE

Kerry Washington in her fetish gear

Katherine McNamara with the titty pop

Kate Beckinsale Slutty

Joey King should have won for her tits in The Act

TO SEE THE REST OF THE TITS OUT AT THE GOLDEN GLOBES CLICK HERE

Jessica Alba, don’t share a drink with this one!

Jennifer Lopez looking like an idiot

Jennifer Aniston looking for Brad Pitt

Jenna Ortega with the slutty see through panties

Hailey Baldwin looking super stoked to be there

Dakota Fanning looks great here

TO SEE THE REST OF THE TITS OUT AT THE GOLDEN GLOBES CLICK HERE

Christina Applegate letting her grey hair out

Charlize Theron daddy killer making everything about her like the Tom Hanks tribute where she put on the dramatic crying as she introduced him shut up Charlize

Camila Morrone looking like a robot

Billie Lourde looking like a 50’s barbie

Bella Thorne topless pre party

Bebe Rexha will show up anywhere with free food

Ashley Benson being gay

TO SEE THE REST OF THE TITS OUT AT THE GOLDEN GLOBES CLICK HERE

Ariel Winter post lipo skinny dress

AnnaLynne McCord sneaks her way into everything…

Cate Blanchett racy dress..

TO SEE THE REST OF THE TITS OUT AT THE GOLDEN GLOBES CLICK HERE

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Posted in:Golden Globes|SFW

2020

03

Jan

Jennifer Aniston Bikini of the Day

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In huge news, bigger than Jennifer Aniston got instagram and broke instagram to prove she’s still a relevant celeb thanks to be a big marketing push by her team and the people at instagram she partnered up with to help drive some attention to instagram as the cool kids realize that they are working for an evil fucking corporation like Facebook with every selfie they post and their likes they are buying are hardly enough reward to continue working for the evil corporation that is controlling who sees their content because they are evil….I digress…

In huge news, bigger than Jennifer Aniston hanging out with Brad Pitt for the tabloid fodder they need to sell tabloids in an era where no one buys tabloids unless they are 60+ and live in a trailer park…or are at the airport and about to fly….Aniston is in a bikini…showing you what 50 something looks like…when it makes a millions of dollars a month thanks to FRIENDS residuals…which is where her rich kid nipples made their first appearance and somehow confused the world into thinking she was hot enough to be a love interest in romantic comedies into her 50s…which always confused me cuz there are younger and hotter women out there. Aniston is really not that great and either are her granny (that will never be since no one knocks her up) tits…I guess they are deflating / sagging /from her over-fitness tactics to try to stay thin or hot into her 50s.

I guess her fans, like you, dig this shit….even though the only digging should be for her grave for her sex appeal…she’s reached that breaking point.

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Posted in:Jennifer Aniston|SFW

2020

03

Jan

Charlotte Lawrence Lesbianism of the Day

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Charlotte Lawrence is out here being hip and edgy, because this is what the young girls who grew up on porn are into.

She’s the daughter of Drew Carey’s Kate and some TV producer….and is positioning herself as an “Indie” popstar, where “indie” means her parents bought her a record deal. Or maybe it was her paternal great-great-great grandfather…he was a real estate tycoon….

In order to be cool, relevant, worth paying attention to, girl needs to put out pics like this to show off just how she’s not some coddled country club member the rich used to be. She likes to fuck, or likes to look like she likes to fuck and she’ll touch tongues with her BFF like in some shitty porno/ promo shoot that is missing the fisting…..

I used to always ask girls to touch tongues and they’d just ignore me, so I guess instagram is letting me live my fucking dreams through vapid LA cunts I am sure don’t really have much more to offer than this. I’m not expecting her music to be good or life changing…it’s just a self inflicted title she gave herself so her parents keep paying her allowance…

Hot shoot though, glad we’re moving in this direction despite everyone pretending to be uptight and overly sensitive….they still getting half naked….and it is hot.

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Posted in:charlotte lawrence|SFW

2020

03

Jan

Kate Upton Tight Leggings of the Day

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Kate Upton is out here reaffirming what I’ve always said about her and her career that was bought by her family because they are rich. Her grandfather invented Whirlpool (the appliance company)….

The entire time she was getting all that hype all those years ago, when she was around 18 years old, I knew she would grow into the tits…and not in a good way…in a girl is going to end up DUMPY as shit…and even in her tight pants…she looks dumpy as shit….sure she’s older now, but there are 45 year olds you want to fuck that look better than this…so we can assume that she was just a product of marketing and you all bought into it…cuz of the tits.

Tits…the most powerful of drugs.

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Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2020

03

Jan

Selena Gomez Bikini of the Day

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In tragic news today….Selena Gomez has died.

No wait, that’s just her in a bikini being fat and weird looking for all the face injections she’s got in efforts to compete with her one true LOVE – Justin Bieber’s – wife he married to escape the wrath of his psychopath who was in and out of rehab while trying to deal with her emotions thanks to celebrity kids being FUCKING NUTS.

I don’t know why she looks so pale, shiny and bloated, but it could be her terminal disease…which I guess is erotic to some of you out there with K-Fed hustle on the brain…knowing if they get in with her, she’ll die off soon enough, leaving you their fortune….all for putting up some manageable shit that comes with a crazy egotistical bitch…that probably isn’t too far off the mark from what you deal with in your daily life with women with far greater reward…

I am sure countless dudes would put up with a whining rich entitled brat like Selena Gomez….for a chance to get at that money…..like you were her parents….who probably took all her childhood acting money.

Anyway, she’s too important, relevant, successful, coveted, rich to be the depressive loser she is. Get it together girl….you look like shit.

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Posted in:Selena Gomez|SFW

2020

03

Jan

Britney Spears Bikini Yoga of the Day

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Here’s some Britney Spears channeling some Jane Fonda Aerobic VHS…in a workout alongside Britney…like those televised Aerobic shows of the 1980s you probably jacked off to when you called in sick….because girls with fit bodies in bikinis doing silly dances in provocative positions back when porn wasn’t accessible…is all we fucking had…

As Britney rocks out her last year in her 30s, after a lifetime of being imprisoned like some kind of Pop Music Nelson Mandela….she knows that this is the kind of erotica she can get away with now that her dad’s been forced to back off from her earning potential he held her captive for.

I like her middle aged mom of two thickness, but it’s probably because she’s Britney Spears….

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Posted in:Britney Spears|SFW

2020

03

Jan

Tallulah Willis Bikini of the Day

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Tallulah Willis is one of the Three Willis Sisters that I used to make fun of, but that I now think are pretty amazing, and not because they post provocative pics of themselves on social media, sometimes edging on the line of incest….maybe it’s because of that….

It’s also because they are just rich kids who don’t need to work and who spend their lives just chilling…everyday a weekend thanks to Mom and Dad being useless but very high paid actors…in an industry that has shaped AMERICA in the worst possible way to be what it is….the general population educated and influenced by Hollywood, good guy vs bad guy storylines…that ya’ll think is real life…because real life is far more boring…

I like that these girls post this kind of shit because they have nothing else to do. I like that I can see her full pussy. I like that she’s got her VAPE in her bikini bottoms where it belongs…showing the world how hard core she is….not scared of that VAPE disease…

I am just sad we can’t see DEMI MOORE in the background doing WHIPPETS while someone dies in her pool….

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Posted in:SFW|Tallulah Willis

2020

03

Jan

Sailor Brinkley Cook Bikini Erotica of the Day

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The only interesting thing about Sailor Cook Brinkley in a bikini, is seeing just how far off the mark she is from being her mother Christie Brinkley. Tainted by that rich guy sperm that made her up inside her mom…

I do find her attempts to follow her mom’s lead as a bikini model cute, in a kid trying to be like his cop dad by wearing his cop dad’s hat at a dinner party for all the cop friends to laugh at how cute it is kind of way….you know because we all know she’s not a “bikini model” but luckily in an era where non bikini models produce bikini model pics cuz they can since it is easy.

That is not to say I find little kids in cop hats the same as 20 something year old skinny blonde chicks in bikinis the same level of “interesting”….I’m just saying she may be in a bikini but she’s no fucking Brinkley even if she uses her mom’s name professionally.

Not that she needs a profession, her dad is a billionaire…and she’s set so all this is just LOLZ to her…and possibly things for you to jack off to cuz you’re a pervert.

I mean she’s still a young skinny rich blonde chick in a bikini…which is never a terrible thing….plus whoever gets to fuck her can stare at pics of her mom before diving in…you know to get in the mood…knowing that this came out of that bikini cunt.

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Posted in:Sailor Brinkley|SFW

2020

03

Jan

Chantel Jeffries Fucking Diplo in the Ocean of the Day

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Chantel Jeffries is a known star fucking whore, she was fucking rappers and basketball players while driving around in a Kia and not making much money with all her suckin and fuckin. She did it for the clout. I think she may have been the instagram hooker who slid into the DMs of the famous dudes like Bieber and was in the car when he got arrested in Florida.

You know a stripper who understands technology….a tech savvy stripper….unlike girls who still work as street hookers that I look at confused. Don’t they know no one leaves the house? Maybe a smart phone would be a good investment to get more clients, plus you can sell it for crack in a pinch.

Apparently, she’s fucking fellow star fucker Diplo in the ocean in Tulum….showing off her tits now that she’s had her implants removed…because her and Diplo both have a level of “celebrity” of their own…but really both understand the importance of mooching the fuck off talent greater than theirs…to become bigger than they could on their own. Fame whores.

I mean he did get his start by fucking M.I.A. when she was a huge act – and using that to create Diplo you know today…and that bitch was a hairy fucking Sasquatch looking thing. No standards if it means money/fame/success. Like putting your dick in a farm animal in exchange for success….some “I’ll put my tongue on that turd for 1,000,000 dollars”….only Diplo was able to leverage that tongue on a hairy turd into HUNDREDS of millions of dollars…because people see him as “that cool guy Diplo”….

Diplo is killing it. He’s richer than pretty much anyone in the music industry, he’s attached to anyone who goes viral or does anything worthwhile, and it’s pretty clever…he has all these groupie fucks just sucking his dick to get close to the action…whether they are producers or DJs or sluts….which makes me wonder why he’d waste his cheating on his baby momma with this trash…there are way better and hotter whores out there that I’m sure he’s also fucked….because why the fuck not take advantage of where you’re despite all them back freckles…

I feel like fucking Chantel Jeffries is low hanging fruit…but probably better than the girls he has in each city around the world to fuck….I’ve seen some of them and they are bad…in a do better Diplo because you can….there is so much hot pussy out there. Why end up with this dog shit. Makes no sense.

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Posted in:Chantel Jeffries|SFW

2020

03

Jan

Ella Eyre in a Bikini of the Day

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Ella Eyre is some up and coming popstar / singer songwriter/ that you’ve never heard of from the UK. The UK pumps out shitty popstars and have for decades…sometimes they break into the USA like the Spice Girls…and sometimes they end up on “I’m a Celebrity Get me Out of Here” or whatever the other UK reality shows with their “celebs” you’ve never heard of they end up on.

She’s got about 450k followers on instagram and I guess you need over a million to pretend that you’re relevant….since most of those followers on instagram influencer accounts are robots from RUSSIA…

I don’t know if she’s hit the USA yet because I don’t listen to any new music and haven’t really since I was about 20 years old…so it’s not a jaded and bitter old guy saying “music today is shit”….even though music today is shit.

I do know she has a wikipedia…her father was Jamaican, and her mother is Maltese. She was a swimmer before a singer which I guess is why she’s been posting bikini pics….I mean besides trying to get more attention to herself because people like bikini pics.

Posted in:Ella Eyre|SFW

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