SFW Archives - Page 42 of 1171 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2020

07

Jan

Margaret Qualley Crochet Panties of the Day

Margaret Qualley shot by Juergen Teller for that W Best Performers Series or whatever.

Juergen Teller is one of those legendary “Fine Art Photographers” who takes a lot of nudes. He’s from Germany and they are weird at least sexually. Just ask Heidi Klum’s vagina that’s been banged out FAR too aggressively by SEAL.

Margaret Qualley is Andie MacDowell’s ugly kid, in a “if you look at her face, you’ll know that she’s gotta be someone’s kid to be here, or maybe just one of the last girls to fuck Weinstein before he was brought down, thank’s for the career old man”…

They say that Margaret Qualley grew up in ASHEVILLE, so I’m not sure how her wanting to move to LA to be a celebrity happened, but I guess growing up in ASHEVILLE as Andie MacDowell’s ugly kid means there’s probably an LA house and an NYC apartment. Asheville is just her mom’s attempt to keep her wholesome…and it worked out well seeing as she’s in W magazine in her underwear.

Here she is at the Golden GLobes

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Posted in:Margaret Qualley|SFW

2020

07

Jan

Mary J Blige Bikini of the Day

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Check out Mary J Blige in a bikini, something you never wanted to see in a bikini but that is wearing a bikini because the world is a changing place and bikinis come in all sizes for all age groups.

But it takes all kinds and from all my research the last 15 years, people get weirder and weirder in what they jerk off to. Fat girls are now considered hot and are paid for being hot, something I only thought happened in strip clubs for obscure fatty lovers, but now fetishes become mainstream.

So who am I to discriminate against this, when someone out there loves it, like this is the HOLY GRAIL of their jerking off.

I am a nice guy, despite being alienated for being an asshole online and in life, so this one’s for you, cuz it sure ain’t for me.

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Posted in:Mary J Blige|SFW

2020

06

Jan

Hilary Duff Skinny Bikini of the Day

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Hilary Duff is on her Honeymoon in a bikini.

She’s one of those have a second dudes baby after fucking a handful of other dudes during her divorce then marry them so you can go to Africa on a Safari together….thanks to LOVE….

She is also a Disney kid, bred by Disney and is about to be back on Disney’s streaming platform with the REDO of her original show that made her famous..they basically own her.

She lost a lot of weight and is skinny because I guess she knows that skinnier girls are hotter than fat girls…unless she just did it for her wedding, but I doubt that.

We should celebrate that hard work she’s put into this after a decade of thickness because it is a sign of the times, people don’t want to be fat anymore, at least not on the Disney Show that can probably make her a shit ton of money…so do it at your hottest…Looking good for the Magical Kingdom…the Happiest Place on Earth…unless they are actually that rumored PEDO ring that made her….making it semi traumatic…in which case she’s safe now that she’s like 30…in a pink bikini.

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Posted in:Hilary Duff|SFW

2020

06

Jan

Candice Swanepoel Nudity in Jamaica of the Day

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Candice Swanepoel has her nipples out in Jamaica.

Probably looking for Tom Hanks’ son….but that motherfucker was at the golden globes…showing you his Reggae patois speak. They call him Shabba Hanks….or Chet for short…

I think it is safe to say that Swanepoel’s out here trying to be hot again, because she basically fell off with her series of kids and was replaced by other models…but one thing can make her comeback from that…NIPPLES.

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Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|SFW

2020

06

Jan

Selena Gomez Upskirt of the Day

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Selena Gomez is about to drop some new album, so she’s got back to social media to promote that album, because when she’s not promoting albums, she’s in rehab with limited phone access I guess.

She doesn’t look like the Selena Gomez she once was, she’s more bloated, bigger tits, and a different face that could be her attempt to turn herself into Hailey Baldwin to try to win her man BIEBER back, or maybe all young girls jack themselves the fuck up. It’s the social media Kardashian era of ugly chicks mangling their faces to look like porn chicks, despite being ugly chicks. But then again, it could be the LUPUS. I am not a doctor, so Autoimmune diseases and their symptoms don’t really speak to me beyond the obvious “Get up in it if you’re near it cuz it’s gonna die prematurely and leave you all it’s money”….you know broken girls are the easiest to seduce, manipulate, make love you.

Now we don’t have access to Selena Gomez, so that was for someone who does, all we’ve got is her weird upskirt pic, that may not even be an upskirt, but is her hand on her cunt which isn’t all that bad even if she is.

Posted in:Selena Gomez|SFW

2020

06

Jan

Alyssa Milano’s Titty Pic for Instagram of the Day

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Alyssa Milano’s got big tits, which I never really noticed before, maybe it’s because she’s older or fatter, maybe they’ve always been there. I didn’t really watch Who’s the Boss, or Charmed so all the hype around her from her acting career, before she was a Twitter activist, was lost on me.

So everyone was out there praising her, mainly socially awkward nerds like you, I was like “that italian looks hairy”…and sure enough, I was right, her arms were covered in thick black hair, so anytime I saw her trying to be hot, in pics not unlike this, all I’d see was dude forearms which I thought would throw off other dudes, but didn’t because dudes are perverts and once there’s a tit involved, standards get lost.

That is not to say I have standards, or wouldn’t cum on a hairy fucking forearm if a bitch wanted me to, it’s just to say let’s point it out and get a dialog going about it, a conversation if you will, much like she does with all her personal agendas on twitter, despite having been a celebrity for so long and not really grasping real life.

SO…that eventually got me blocked from her, so I’ve missed out on the last 5 years of her on social media, and I feel #Blessed about that, but when tits are Out in a Robe, no matter who’s tits…I have no choice but to share.

In looking to see what else the big old tits were up to, I realized that unlike Paris Hilton, Rat Cow, and whoever else blocked me on Instagram over the years, not that I use instagram, Alyssa Milano hadn’t. Blocked on Twitter, not on IG…what an honor…

So I decided to put in a request to see her arms, because that’s what got me blocked on twitter. Will she notice, will she remember DrunkenStepfather as the troll making fun of her arms, will she be uptight like she seems to be about everything…will I get blocked, will I get ignored, will nothing happen….only time will tell and in the meantime…you can stare at her massive old lady tits busting out of this robe in what I would find weird if my granny had done the same thing at the same age…but only after I jacked off to it.

All this to say – Alyssa Milano – SHOW US YOUR ARMS!

Posted in:Alyssa Milano|SFW

2020

06

Jan

Kristen Stewart is Nude in the Pool of the Day

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Kristen Stewart, who I like to think is just a lesbian for show, maybe manipulated by her hot Victoria’s Secret model girlfriend Stella Maxwell, who like Cara Delevingne like to find girls who are confused, on the fence, maybe even broken and turn them into their marketing campaigns.

I get the vibe that she’s as much of a lesbian as one of Ellen’s girlfriends, you know in it for the hype because lesbianism is a myth, and sure they eat pussy but that doesn’t mean they don’t go back to dick when the time comes, only unlike Ellen’s lesbians, this one is the power player in the relationship.

I just don’t believe an actress or lesbian would be attracted to a Victoria’s Secret model, all the lesbians I see are into knitting, fat girls, and not the hot chicks they never were. Maybe there’s something called Hormonally lesbian, like those dude chicks who look ready to fuck anything that comes close enough with your massive 10 inch strap on, both men and women alike, because that’s just the kind of lesbian you are, but those lesbians aren’t Kristen Stewart. She’s not even believable as a combat and plaid wearing lesbian who hates men and who is in Women’s studies at college. It’s all seems like some act, like she’s pulling out of some parody of lesbianism for an SNL skit.

Anyway, her BFF hairstylist posted this pic of them naked in a pool drinking wine…and it was deleted.

So if you’re into Kristen Stewart, and you shouldn’t be, she’s not hot and was never hot, naked in a pool that you can’t see her naked in, this is for you.

Posted in:Kristen Stewart|SFW

2020

06

Jan

Heather Graham’s GUNT is in a Bikini of the Day

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Heather Graham posted a picture of her gunt hanging out over her bikini, in what I would call “empowering” even though I hate that shit, but at least she’s not editing herself down like all the other sluts on instagram who downloaded their free and easy to use photoshop app.

I have always loved Heather Graham’s tits. She was great in Boogie Nights and I can’t think of anything she’s had her tits out in that I didn’t like. So I support her being as real as a celebrity can be by saying “fuck it, I’m an old bitch, I have big tits, and this is what bodies do when they sit.

Most girls wouldn’t be caught dead in a seated bikini pose, brave moves from a brave woman who is at the state of life / menopause where the majority of women her age are fucking gross. Plus she’s got that pile of money and that feedback from fans everywhere saying how bad they want to fuck her for the last 2 decades that maybe being “gross” is a way to get some damn peace and quiet…not that any bikini pic has ever generated peace and quiet for anyone on social media…that’s where the fucking vultures live..

All this to say I hate old chicks and I hate fat chicks, but I like Heather Graham and that overrides that hate…there are levels to this shit….and in her defense pretty much all stomachs look like this in that pose.

Posted in:Heather Graham|SFW

2020

06

Jan

Olivia Culpo Titties in a Red Bra of the Day

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Rhode Island’s own pageant girl who was clever enough to channel her inner Kardashian to become famous on instagram for nothing more than posting some provocative pics, to support her publicity garnered from dating “relevant people”, Olivia Culpo, who has amassed a large following despite not being famous, in a who the fuck cares about this trash to the typical outsider, but apparently brands do as they throw money at her, but more importantly, so do dumb JOCKS…

She does have some tits though, tits that have been cum on by numerous athletes because she’s on instagram and built her business on instagram and targeting dudes they want to fuck on instagram when having a large following pretty much guarantees they’ll get the dude they are trying to fuck.

Since Culpo is athlete focused, her gods are seemingly white NFL players, she’s run through 3 maybe 4 in the last year or two and her current one is Christian McCaffrey, I guess trying to filter through the trash to figure out the best one to get knocked up by.

It’s all strategy, all tactics, and these dudes fall for it…because the girl is a pro. Literally.

Posted in:Olivia Culpo|SFW

2020

06

Jan

Adele is Less Fat of the Day

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We are so exposed to fat people trying to convince the world that fat is ok. That fat is healthy. That fat is empowering. It is almost impossible to break from that propaganda as dudes everywhere are becoming more and more accustomed to fucking fat girls…since skinny girls are a dying breed and thus more coveted by the men who can afford them…leaving us with the table scrabs that aren’t even table scraps cuz these fat chicks lick their plate clean and even hop on the floor to get any stray crumbs…if you know what I mean…

So it is nice to see, and TRUST ME WHEN I SAY THIS, I never thought I would be praising Adele, the original FAT and EMPOWERED popstar in my fucking life…because her fatness was just so fat and cross and she was so secure in that fatness that it was not just a part of her brand…it was her….and inspired other fatties to exist.

I never thought there would be anything less than fat about her….but here she is with her big fat tits on a MUCH fucking skinnier body and let that inspire your 2020…FAT IS BAD…LESS FAT IS GOOD. Eat Keto, Work Out, Don’t normalize fat and stop letting fat chicks think they are hot cuz you’re just horny.

It’s gross, it’s not hot, it’s unhealthy…so GOOD fucking job to Adele who coulda sat back and stayed fat but instead made some moves in the right direction of less fat…all while maintaining her tits….the weightloss makes me want to roll in the deep, rather than just assume that was a song she wrote about a hamburger…this deserves some PRAISE.

This isn’t to say she’s HOT, but it is to say she’s better than when she was killing herself being fat.

Posted in:Adele|SFW

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