I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

10

Dec

Doutzen Kroes in Some Bikini Photoshoot of the Day

I don’t want to ruin your excitement about bikini models, because I know they look amazing in pictures, like their bodies are fucking slammin’ and that’s why they are bikini models. The reality is that I’ve been next to some low level bikini models in my life and bitches are fucking tall and wide, like freaks of fucking nature, that make my 300 pound frame look like a premature kid on his 12th birthday, too weak to open my presents or some shit….

So everytime I see these photoshoots, I know that we’re dealing with some King Kong, caged animal on stage shit for all of us to gawk at in awe of their size…only the kind of King Kong, caged animal on stage I’d want to perform a live sex show like we’re in Thailand with….

On a sidenote I love the action shot I posted as a header to this post, it’s like they are in crisis mode and the hair girl is running as the water girls makes Doutzen wet and knowing these people are the top of their game, like that bitch in the shirt is the best water pourer in the biz, and that they make more than all of us is fucking hysterical, because the core of what they do is really fucking useless in the grand scheme of things…not that you care…go back to masturbating…asshole.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Bikini|Doutzen Kroes

2009

10

Dec

Alessandra Ambrosio in her Bikini of the Day

Don’t let these pictures fool you because under those bikini bottoms lives a grey, stretched out, used up, thick and calloused, stiched up , wounded and dying vagina that only a new mother can really appreciate, because it is a sign of her new joy.

Sure her body is rockin’ and looks tight, but it definitely doesn’t mean the rest of her is. It’s all some strap and duct tape to hold things together. The same white washin’ trannies use to make you think they don’t have a ball sack, something ambrosio’s vagina now looks like…

Sure this is all assumptions, because I’ve never seen her twat, but it’s truth to me and that’s all that matters.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Bikini

2009

10

Dec

Victoria Beckham is Carmen Sandiego of the Day

I am sure I’m not the only one who used to jerk off to Carmen Sandiego back in the 90s. I didn’t get off to it because it was a kid’s show and I’m some kind of pedophile, I just thought the bitch was hot. Not to mention, there was something exciting about trying to find the bitch. It was like some kind of sexual cat and mouse chase, hide-and-go-seek, hide the hotdog in the warm moise fleshy cave when I find the bitch and pull her out of hiding and into the back alley where I rape her asshole kinda thing and here is Victoria Beckham bringing back all those erotic memories…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Costume|Legs|Victoria Beckham

2009

10

Dec

Holly Sampson Promotes Some Website By Admitting Tiger Woods Sex of the Day

So Holly Sampson is a high end whore when she isn’t doing porn. She’s gone a long way from the girl I used to jerk off to when she was Kevin Arnold’s love interest on the vacation episode, reminding me that you never know where a pussy you once jerked off to will end up, and maybe that speicific day or year she won’t bang you, but as life goes on, shit shifts and I guess dreams do come true.

Not that I’m really into her anymore because she’s a 36 year old expensive whore who’s pussy has had more sausage than Oktoberfest, not that that’s stopped me before, but those other girls weren’t rocking these bullshit egos about how long they’ve been in the game, or how many celeb cock they’ve had, they are more in the too desperate and humilated while wasted category of whore who doesn’t like admitting they are whores.

That said, Holly Sampson goes off about how big Kevin Costner’s dick is. How she looks like Tiger’s wife and how he came in the condom, didn’t fuck her doggy, but let her suck him off, all at a bachelor party the whore was working…..I think the real scandal in all this is that she admitted to fucking Stephen Dorf too and I can’t figure out why that didn’t make the gossip pages….maybe because Stephen Dorf is pretty much a fucking nobody, but he’s always got a place in my heart as….fuck I don’t remember anything he’s ever been in…oh well…Watch the video of the whores talking….

Thanks to Lex at LovesGossip for sending this to me….

Posted in:Holly Sampson|Prostitute|Tiger Woods

2009

09

Dec

stepLINKS of the Day

I think I have an eating disorder. At least that’s what my XXL sweatpants that just split despite being my only pair of pants that fit me. If Dr Oz put me in his Truth Tube, I think I’d already be dead. That said, I hope this meal I just overate destroys my insides so that I get to experience the satisfaction of wiping my fat dirty ass with my wife’s electic toothbrush. It’s a new hobby and I figure it serves the bitch right for marrying a pig like me. She should have known better.

Here are my stepLINKS….


Ali Milan Straight Stuntin Ass!!
GO

Here’s Some Fake Megan Fox Nudes That Look Pretty Fucking Real and May As Well BE
GO

Tell Me You Don’t Get a Boner From Watching Chicks Tickle Each Other
GO

Tila Tequila is Engaged to Some Other Lesbian
GO

Imagine a Snake Shoved Up Your Snatch
GO

Because Sluts Aren’t So Easy to Find These Days
GO

GIMMA DAT BACON – VIDEO
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Watching People Drink Puke is Disgusting and Hilarious All At the Same Time
GO

Some Bai Ling and Her Alien Nipples
GO

5 Things That Will Make You Proud to Be an American This Week
GO

I’d Pay Good Money to Watch Rihanna and John Mayer Fuck
GO

Joselyn James is the Type of Teacher I Wish I Had When I Was a Kid
GO

Striptease of the Day – SURPRISE EDITION
GO

REAL LIFE EDWARD SCISSOR HANDS
GO

The Tiger Woods Mistree Count is Now At 11
**NOW WITH ONE ADDITIONAL PORN STAR**
GO

Man Jada Pinkett Used to be HOT, What the Fuck Happened?
GO

Jersey Shore is SERIOUSLY Pissing Some People Off
GO

I Thought Cher Was Dead But She Appears To Have Risen From The Grave
GO

Sports Fan Fun From Around the World – VIDEO
GO

A Naked Waitress Sounds All Right to Me – VIDEO
GO

Drunk Sluts Making Bad Decisions – VIDEO
GO

There’s Some Borderline War of the Worlds Shit Going On In Norway
GO

Danielle Takes It All Off
GO

CAT FIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! – VIDEO
GO

Check Out This Plane From the Uniter Arab Emirates
GO

Soem Olivia Munn is Always Easy on the Eyes
GO

Katherine Heigl and Her Mormon Cleavage
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Now Here’s a Maid I Would Like to Have Clean My House
GO

All Hello Jenna Haze
GO

Alesha Dixon is All Legs
GO

Some Cuban Beauties You Oughta Really Take a Look At
GO

Masha and Ania Have Fun With a Dildo
GO

Jennifer is Naked and Wake Boarding
GO

Check Out the Rack on Janine
GO

Man Julia Roberts Sounds Like a Riot When She is Drunk
GO

Quentin Tarantino + Japan = AMAZING – VIDEO
GO

Kate Bosworth is Everywhere These Days
GO

TITS – A Tribute
GO

Addicted to Rock Band Much? – VIDEO
GO

Some Gorgeous Girls Gift Wrapped
GO

George Clooney’s GF Has a Wedgie!
GO

I Totally Wanna Bang Eva Green
GO

PLAYBOY BOMBSHELL JESSA HINTON IS JUST MOTHER FUCKIN’ HOT!
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

09

Dec

Ashley TIsdale’s Mother Dresses Like A Real Ugly 15 Year Old of the Day

Ashley Tisdale’s mother dresses like an Ashley Tisdale fan, you know like she’s 15 in her leggings and UGGS, probably because she is Ashley Tisdale’s biggest fan, since Ashley Tisdale buys her nice stuff and came out of her vagina, but the despite her best efforts, her face definitely wasn’t cooperating with this plan. You see this all the time, you know competitive mother’s, trying to compete with their teenage daughters for male attention, but the only problem is, they don’t realize their faces and vaginas look like a weathered pair of oversized leather boots….

The whole thing is pretty fucking funny but not as funny as the fact that Ashley Tisdale has a career entertaining people….

Pics via INF

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Mother

2009

09

Dec

Alessandra Ambrosio Doing Victoria’s Secret Photoshoot of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio doing yoga is a pretty good thing, but I find this shit disappointing. This is a Victoria’s Secret shoot but last time I checked Victoria’s Secret made panties and lingerie and shit and bitch is clearly not wearing a fucking see through thong while in her the downward dog or whatever the yoga position so long as I’m under her and she’s using my face as the fucking yoga mat you know just to see if I can still taste the remnants of the baby she just recently birthed…..or at least guage the damage the baby caused with my tongue and loving every fucking second of it.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Photoshoot|Victoria's Secret

2009

09

Dec

Ciara Dressed Like a Trophy Whore of the Day

When viewing these pictures of Ciara dressed like some kind of Trophy whore you’d win from the escort agency for being the customer of the year because your awkward ass made a lot of money in software in the 90s and your skills at getting pussy never quite matured past the age of 12 letting or some shit, but motherfucker’s bank account did and since then he’s gone through a different whore every second night, some more wholesome than the next, never quite questionning the authenticity of their pussies, always just assuming shit was always an integral part of the girl and not something she modified in her later years….remember she was most likely born with a cock…not that that would stop you.

Pics via INF

Posted in:Ciara|Whore

2009

09

Dec

Rihanna and Her Leotard of the Day

Rihanna’s shirt is touching her pussy, asshole and tits all at the same fucking time and it is really not that exciting because I hate this bitch and think it’s time for her to be retired back in Barbados to spend the rest of her life giving tours of the Rum Distillery or changing bed sheets some shit where she belongs. I just hope her label is exploiting her like the illegal immigrant she is and that they are making a fuck of a lot more money that her because it would not be fair for someone not from America to make stupid money thanks to America and their love for garbage shit that the media shoves down their drone throats.

Pics via INF

Posted in:Leotard|Rihanna

2009

09

Dec

Lady Gaga’s Throw Up Face of the Day

I have a love / hate relationship with girls who have weak chins. On one hand I think it looks fucking ugly enough to laugh at and make fun of so that the girl gets enough of a complex as this girl I used to talk to back in the day who ended up getting a chin implant partially because she knew it looked bad and partially because I would tell her how hot she’d be if she had a chin and didn’t just have a face that turned into neck. On the other hand I love the shit because watching girls walk around like they are about to puke, with their mouths permanently open and in the gag position is fucking hysterical.

In Lady Gaga’s case, it’s just a hate relationship because I have no interest in ugly girls who make it big and overcompensate for being ugly by being loud and annoying. I like my ugly girls shut the fuck up and hiding in the corner scared to make eye contact…..

So in future, she shouldn’t forget her ridiculous mask she’s been hiding behind and you shouldn’t buy her records because despite being a beast too big to stop…we can all do our part. Think of her as global warming-a cause we all need to fight.

Pics via INF

Posted in:Face|Lady Gaga|Throw Up