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2009

21

Oct

The Catwoman Jocelyn Wildenstein Showing Off Her Tits of the Day

You know Jocelyn Wildenstein as the woman who has had tons of plastic surgery to make herself look like a cat. She is a socialite who is married to some art dealing billionaire because he’s a billionaire and girls love money and I guess his money didn’t buy happiness, but instead bought her numerous plastic surgeries because she clearly has a serious mental illness, cuz she is trying to make herself look like a fucking cat and I am sure the husband doesn’t care cuz he’s either fucking other chicks, or considering he’s into that whole art thing, other men and just finances this shit to shut her the fuck up…..and to leave him alone….

I guess she’s realized that there’s more to beauty than spending her husbands money on operations, because here she is showing off her tits while working out with weights on her arms and legs, so I guess we can’t hate her for her weirdness, but should appreciate her for not being fat, not to mention fucking her face is probably less dangerous than the time my friend tried fucking an alley cat’s face and motherfucker attacked his dick like it was a mouse or some shit, not that that has anything to do with pretty much anything….and the real issue at hand is why the fuck I did a post on this bitch….I guess it had to do with her tits…cuz sometimes tits are all I need to justify my actions….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Catwoman|Jocelyn Wildenstein|Plastic Surgery|Tits

2009

21

Oct

Shauna Sand Scary Halloween Ebay Auction Video of the Day

I guess the sex tape wasn’t enough evidence that Shauna Sand is broke, but Heyman Hustle went out and got an exclusive video of Shauna Sand’s recent desperation for cash that comes in the form of an ebay auction.

She did a little intro showing off her stupid fake tits in a bikini, and looked and sounded like a medicated or possessed plastic zombie or sex doll. It was was perfect for this time of year, but still pretty scary even if it is Halloween everyday for this cunt.

Watch the video, it’s fucking strange.


For Heyman Hustle
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Shauna Sand Sex Tape Clips Exclusive

Posted in:ebay|Halloween|Shauna Sand

2009

21

Oct

Don’t Get a Flu Shot of the Day

This is some fucked up shit…..I’ve been hearing that you should not get a flu shot cuz it will fuck you up and I’m not sure if this girl is scamming us because she realized she was never going to make it as a cheerleader or celebrity and figured this was a good alternative plan to get fame, or maybe it’s got to do with her dad or husband working for the competition of the company who got the Swine Flu vaccine contract, so she’s trying to scare the fuck out of everyone to not get the shot putting them out of business, but I’m not about to take the fucking chance.

I don’t like medication as is, mainly because I think it is the government secretly tracking me or controlling, it’s a paranoia issue that they’ve told me I should be medicated for, but that doesn’t working for me, since I think medication is the government’s way of controlling me, so I just stick to street drugs…..

I prefer just getting the random diseases and trying to survive or giving up like a normal fuckin’ person….either way, this video will make you not make you want the flu shot, but may turn you on, except for the horrible fact that bitch can still run, a skill you never look for in handicapped girls you rape.

Posted in:Crazy Shit|Flu Shot

2009

21

Oct

Crackhead Channels Michael Jackson’s Ghost of the Day

I think life is more entertaining with drunks and addicts cuz they are funny and just don’t give a fuck. Sure they usually stink, but who am I kidding, I fucking stink too. I have been drunk and got crackhead chicks to show me their pussies for a few bucks, I have had crackhead dudes drop their pants, and the ultimate crackhead moment, other than the numerous crackheads I’ve had sex with, or accidentally eaten out, was when a crackhead wanted to have a dick size competition with a friend of mine, using 3 hot chicks leaving the club as the judges, only to pull out a huge dirty erection and chase one of the girls into a back alley….I never found out what happened to her, because I went home but I am sure it ended in HIV transmission.

That said, here’s some crack head channeling the ghost of Michael Jackson thru song, which is better than this guy I know who channels Michael Jackson thru molesting little kids, or me who channels Michael Jackson thru masturbation, because sometimes, when I touch myself, I like to feel like the star of the show and all these dead celebs are watching me in amazement, sure it’s weird, but Estelle Getty, Patrick Swayze, Aaron Spelling and Anna Nicole Smith really knows how to make me cum…..

Posted in:Crackhead|Michael Jackson

2009

21

Oct

Ashley Robert’s Got a Gunt of the Day

I know I said I was done with the Gunt posts, but I just couldn’t help myself buy doing one more, I guess I am mesmerized by this panty pillow that represents femininity, fertility and no self control when it comes to late night tubs of ice cream, bags of chips and/or baked goods.

I guess what it comes down, or what these pictures prove is that the Pussycat Dolls haven’t been working too much lately. There have been no practices or performing or really doing anything that involves any physical activity, because by the looks of this Pussycat Doll, she’s been doing the fuckin’ Garfield.

I don’t know what that means, I just know it was stupid and I am almost embarrassed, I also know that she’s fat and with all fat chicks comes fat tits so leave me alone.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Ashley Roberts|Gunt|Pussycat Doll

2009

21

Oct

Shakira’s Got a Gunt of the Day

I am not sure if a new trend in Hollywood is to let yourself go and age the way nature intended your womanly ass to fucking age, but I do know that I’ve been seeing a lot of gunts lately and I don’t like it one bit. If I wanted to see fucking gunts, I’d join the senior citizen’s aquarobics class at the local community center, because 60+ is where I like to keep the gunts, not on barely 35 year old smuggled Columbian trash everyone is hard over standing around in some ridiculous lookin’ dress that’s squeezing her stomach into all the wrong places, like her menopausal, mom of 5, nature’s pillow in her pubis….I’m not diggin’ this,but your lonely ass probably is.

That’s enough gunt talk for the day…no onto better things…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Gunt|Shakira|Tight Dress

2009

21

Oct

Anna Friel’s Got a Gunt of the Day

I don’t know much about Anna Friel, I just know she’s in some stage show naked and everyone made a big deal about it, despite girls getting naked on stage in pretty much every single city in the world every night, but I guess they didn’t have a huge celebrity being on TV shows none of us every watched, unless you consider their dad’s beating and raping them before they ran away and were forced to strip a TV show….

Either way, based on this tight dress, I’m not sure I want to see this girl naked, but would rather see her in a pair of SPANX cuz let’s face it, the gunt she’s packing in her uterus is pretty fucking unattractive. I guess she could be bloated or getting her period, or maybe pregnant and too busy to get an abortion, but seriously, she’s gotta make the time to sort this out when getting paid to get naked, lazy bitch.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Anna Friel|Bloated|Gunt|Period

2009

20

Oct

stepLINKS of the Day

I almost posted this without writing anything. That probably would have been a good thing. Not because I hate myself, I am over this past weekend’s depression, I think years of drinking have taken all the happy chemicals in my brain and pissed on them before shitting them out…so when I got too hard, I feel the pain…..but because I was called a failed writer by someone who deserved to get beat the fuck up. A failed writer like I set out to write great novels like I was Stephen King, when I’ve only read 3 books in my fucking life.

So I can’t be so sensitive about being called a failed writer, considering I never aspired to be a writer, never took a class in writing, and didn’t even know I knew how to write before I was 30, and even when I found out I could write, knew that I didn’t really actually know how to write and since I write the best site on the internet nobody reads, I didn’t really need him to tell me I am a failed anything, cuz I’m the motherfucker who doesn’t have a job and lives a life of luxury on my milk crate desk thanks to being a failed everything…so if anything I’m an accomplished failure.

The cocksucker was just mad I tried to make out with him like two college girls do on spring break as a joke. I guess he didn’t find it funny cuz those who do gay things and don’t get turned on are much more comfortable with their sexuality than those who can’t handle gay things being done to them and turn around and call people failed writers. You hear that ya faggots…..

Here are my steplinks….and I’m gonna take my failure ass to get some booze in me cuz two days of sobriety have proven to be boring as shit….

The Fag from American Idol Poses and Tongues a Naked Model….
GO

Freestyle Pole Dancing of the Day
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If Carrie Prejean Wants to Keep those Tits, She’s Gonna Have to Pay for Them Herself
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A Whole Lot of Funny VIdeos….
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Kayden Kross and Her Fishnets of the Day
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Lookin Good Sweethearts – 2 for One Edition
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Because Being a Slut is a Skill Too
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Balloon Launch FAIL
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These Bullying PSA’s Never Get old and ARe Always Hilarious
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I’M IN A BOX MOTHERFUCKER
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Abi Titmus Pantyhose Upskirt
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I’m Lovin’ All This Shakira Action We’ve Been Getting Lately
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25 Amazing Etch A Sketches
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Striptease of the Day
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The Balloon Boys Neighbors Are Ready to Knock Someone the Fuck Out – VIDEO
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Alina Puscau Strips Down for Playboy
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If Sarah Palin Actually Goes on Oprah We Are Going to Have Jokes for the Rest of the Year
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DREAMS DO COME TRUE!!! DAVID HASSLEHOFF IS GETTING A REALITY SHOW!!
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John Stamos was DEFINITELY Drunk on Australian TV – VIDEO CONFESSION
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Jennifer Gareis in Monte Carlo
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Busty Ashlynn Brooke
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Ejected from theme park ride – VIDEO
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Cute Blonde and Her No So Private Video
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One of the Dudes From Big Brothers Got Busted for Dealing Drugs – VIDEO
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A Horny MILF and the Rocking Sex Machine
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A Collection of Isla Fisher Photos
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My Owner is an Idiot – GALLERY
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Man I Had Almost Forgot About Paz Vega
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I Don’t Know Who Juie Benz Is But She is Kind of See Through
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Katy Perry and Her Camel Toe
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Ewa Sonnet Gets Them Wet
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Busty Briana Lee
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Zoe Saldana is Kind of Thin, But I Would Still Hang Her
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jayden cole Touches Herself in Front of Her Laptop Camera
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Real Goth Girls Slutting Out
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Riley Shy is Anything But
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Haven’t See Masuimi Max in a Little While
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Nuts – 2010 Topless Calendar
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Meet Sue L
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Amber Rose is Actually Lookin’ Alright Here
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Some Assholes Harass a Drunk Bitch
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A Whitney Houston Wardrobe Malfunction Will Always Make a Bad Day Better
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WWE DIVA / GO DADDY SEX KITTEN CANDICE MICHELLE IS BACK … AND SHE JUST LOOKS SO ABSOLUTELY FUCKABLE!
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I think I Just Fell in Love with Candace Rae’s Tits
GO

BONUS VIDEO AMATEUR BEDROOM STRIP SHOW

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

20

Oct

Marisa Miller’s Hot Bikini Change of the Day

They say this is Marisa Miller getting changed into a bikini during some Victoria’s Secret photoshoot, but it doesn’t really look like her, and since pics of any girl, especially a model, getting changed in public is what my voyeur dreams are made of, it doesn’t really matter whether they are of her or not, what does matter is that I get to take part in this joyous, hot and amazing moment from the comfort of my own couch without the awkwardness of having to casually pretend I’m not staring when I get caught for staring, I’m sure you know what I mean cuz you are a dude and it takes a very rare breed of man to stare at a girls tits drooling, we call that breed rapists because even the most perverted of us try to hide the fact that tits are all we care about….just like last week I was peeping on some college girl in her panties running around her apartment and she busted me and even though I was fully busted, I still had to pretend I was playing with my dog or picking up his shit on her lawn and had no idea she was there…..it is just encoded in our DNA or some shit…..

Here are the amazing pics….that turned out to be of Candice Swanepoel….but the ass shots could be Marisa Miller and really who cares…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Bikini|Change|Marisa Miller

2009

20

Oct

Lindsay Lohan Doesn’t Look Like Lindsay Lohan of the Day

Lindsay Lohan looks different. I’m not sure what happened to her. Maybe this is a wax figure of her, or a stand-in because she would rather be at home watching The Biggest Loser, or maybe this is some artist rendition of her like you see done for missing people from the 80s so you know what they would look like today but there’s no fucking way this is a 23 year old girl, I know 23 year old girls and this shit is not what they look like. I get the whole growing up before her time being in Hollywood and cracking under the pressure of everyone watching her every move, but this isn’t fuckin’ human.

I would still serve her soup in a long cabin in the woods as she recovers from whatever disease this is, because she either needs to get her shit together, or I’ll be trying to sneak into her funeral home late at night to be the last man to grab her tit and play with her pussy before they cremate her.

Sort it the fuck out woman….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|old