DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2009

26

Aug

Karina Smirnoff Shitty Upskirt of the Day

Here is Karina Smirnoff the Dancing with the Stars chick showing some skin, almost flashing her ass, and if you want to see the real deal, you can turn into her dancing show, because she shows a hell of a lot more skin there than in these pictures and the only reason I even care is because she’s named after a vodka company, and even if it is lowend bullshit vodka, shit’s better than the time I got drunk drinking rubbing alcohol to see if I’d go blind, not that that has anything to do with this whore, unless she’s the heir to the company, which I doubt, I think it’s most likely just a stage name playing up her Russian mail order bride roots….

Posted in:Karina Smirnoff|Upskirt

2009

26

Aug

Doutzen Kroes Squating and Showing Off Her Stomach of the Day

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I am still trying to figure out who told Victoria’s Secret to get out of lingerie and to go into everyday clothes because these photoshoot pics of Doutzen Kroes would be a lot more interesting if I could see her pussy. I guess when people try to make money they lose their fuckin’ soul and we all have to fuckin’ suffer. Not that the Victoria’s Secret catalog played a huge role in my life, but the idea of girls in their underwear is a hell of a lot more interesting that the idea of girls in jeans. Pretty simple logic…

At least they were keeping it fresh with some of the weirdos on set….

Posted in:Doutzen Kroes|Squatting|Stomach

2009

26

Aug

Hilary Duff in a Tight Dress on Set of the Day

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Hilary Duff made the genius career move of guest starring on Gossip Girls and she did it wearing a tight dress. I guess when nothing else is really going on in your career as you slowly age and slowly get fat you have that constant fear of becoming a Jonathan Taylor Thomas where the fuck is he now situation, so you get on the hottest show and let the world know that despite your boyish good looks slowly disappearing like shit was David Copperfield, you aren’t dead yet and I’m really not complaining, whatever harnesses are in this dress are doing her some good.

Posted in:Hilary Duff|Tight Dress

2009

26

Aug

Miley Cyrus in Some Jean Shorts of the Day

5 Comments »

Miley Cyrus has a face that reminds me of my friend who had some disorder and they had to put the motherfucker on some sort of steroid treatment that turned the motherfucker into some kind of walking marshmallow lookin’ piece of shit and it always shocks me when dudes I meet say she’s hot. I get it, the Disney guys in the office when she was 14 who had parental consent from Billy Ray did what they had to do, because they knew they weren’t going to jail, and when else do you get to fuck with a 14 year old. It’s like the time a stripper asked me to fuck her or the time that girl we never met asked my friend to piss in her face, you just gotta take the opportunity when it strikes, but for the average viewer who looks at this wonky faced slut and think it is awesome, I just will never grasp….
Here she is dressed like a cowboy because she is one.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|Shorts

2009

26

Aug

Shauna Sand Maintenance of the Day

2 Comments »

Shauna Sand is one of those natural beauties who takes a solid 6 hours a day getting ready. Whether it’s by not eating or puking up her meals, tanning or spray tanning, hanging at the plastic surgeons, polishing her stripper shoes, tucking her dangly vagina lips back into place, putting in her hair extensions or getting her nails done, it is all in effort to create the masterpiece that is her and here are some pics of her working on her cuz she’s got nothing better to day. I’m loving the MDMA hat, I’m sure 98% of strippers I know who go to the after-hour clubs would die for one of those fuckers, but don’t deserve one because they haven’t put the dedication and hard work that this slag has over the last few years…

Shauna Sand Sex Tape Clips Exclusive

Posted in:Manicure|Shauna Sand

2009

26

Aug

Jenna Jameson’s Disgusting…But Not As Disgusting as Her Vagina of the Day

4 Comments »

I remember when Jenna Jameson was at the top of her fucking game. She was running a huge porn company, she was in a ton of movies and when people thought porn they thought of her. That entire fucking time, I did not get one fucking erection over her, and although that may not be a testament of how vile I find her pussy and tits, but more a testament of my hard drinking, my enlarged prostate and my ugly wife stealing my libido, I just never got the appeal or why she of all pornstars went mainstream and I guess it doesn’t matter because after her twins escaped her rancid woman parts, she hasn’t bounced back, looks like shit, and I will never have to see her fuck in video again and I guess that’s worth celebrating….

Posted in:Disgusting|Jenna Jameson

2009

26

Aug

Bryce Dallas Howard’s Ass in Leggings of the Day

6 Comments »

For those of you who used to watch Ron Howard TV shows and used to think to yourself how cool he was and how badly you wanted to be him, to the point of borderline obsession, where he became your everything and you started posting up posters of him and using expressions he used and even cut your hair the same way as him, dressed like him and wanted to be inside him, you can now jerk off to something that came out of his dick and grew in some chick’s uterus like some kind of fungus, and it won’t be as gay or as weird as when you jerked off to him, because let’s face it Ron Howards a bit of a fuckin’ loser no one should aspire to be or get off to.
She’s redhead, I have never had a redhead, I find them scary for the most part, but my friend told me they are a different breed of human and their skin feels different that normal people, so as longs as she has a vagina and her ass has keeps that attitude, I won’t judge you.

Bryce Dallas Howard, Ass, Leggings
Bryce Dallas Howard’s Ass in Leggings of the Day

For those of you who used to watch Ron Howard TV shows and used to think to yourself how cool he was and how badly you wanted to be him, to the point of borderline obsession, where he became your everything and you started posting up posters of him and using expressions he used and even cut your hair the same way as him, dressed like him and wanted to be inside him, you can now jerk off to something that came out of his dick and grew in some chick’s uterus like some kind of fungus, and it won’t be as gay or as weird as when you jerked off to him, because let’s face it Ron Howards a bit of a fuckin’ loser no one should aspire to be or get off to.
She’s redhead, I have never had a redhead, I find them scary for the most part, but my friend told me they are a different breed of human and their skin feels different that normal people, so as longs as she has a vagina and her ass has keeps that attitude, I won’t judge you.

Posted in:Ass|Bryce Dallas Howard|Leggings

2009

26

Aug

America Ferrara is a Disgusting Pig of the Day

5 Comments »

I hate writing about Mexicans who humilate themselves trying to fit into America by sacrificing their integrity, all because their parents had a dream for them to have a life better in the land of opportunity or some shit and to instill that on their kids they named them after the fuckin’ country and got them into acting, forcing them to play the ugly bitch on a TV show about an ugly bitch, being reminded everyday that she’s ugly by both Hollywood standards and my standards, while collecting a paycheck that pretty much guarantees she will never have to clean a hotel room or clean up a rich family’s dog piss, it will also help pay for her therapy when she starts realizing that she’s just being used as a clown for all of us to laugh at. The whole thing depresses me, but for some reason lookin at this pig in a hot dog outfit is making me fucking hungry….and it may get you off if you’re the kind of guy who gets intimate with sausages and cured meats because based on a hooker I know…a lot of dudes are into that shit….

Posted in:America Ferrera|Hot Dog|Pig

2009

26

Aug

Dolce and Gabana Support Homosexuality on Vacation of the Day

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Dolce and Gabana are so gay….and so is every chachi motherfucker who wears their 100 dollar t-shirts to impress the chicks when all you’re really doin’ is makin’ these ‘mo’s richer…I have no easy with homosexuality at all, I don’t care who is fucking who as long as people are fucking, but I wonder if middle America dudes who pick this shit up at TJ Maxx, or the meatheads I see walking into cheesy clubs know what they’re really getting themselves into and the whole thing is funny to me….

If you’re wondering why I am posting this, it’s not cuz I just jerked off to it, it’s cuz there was a chick in a bikini there and that shit is my job….I promise…no…seriously guys, come on….I’m not gay…ok…it’s getting old…you can stop now…fine…you wanna hear that I’m gay…you want me to admit it…will that make you shut the fuck up….fine I jerk off to cock….not fuck yourself….

Posted in:Dolce and Gabana|Gay|Vacation

2009

26

Aug

Rihanna May Be a Dog of the Day

3 Comments »

I have a constant debate with people as to whether Rihanna is hot or not. I love black girls and I have never been with a black girl and the people I hang around with know that, so whenever I go off on how good this bitch is, they laugh and think I am just so into this black girl fetish that I don’t know the difference between a good and bad one, pretty much the same way black dudes still whistle at my wife when no one in their right mind would ever even think of doing that, in fact, I think I saw kids throwing up the last time she accidentally got her skirt jacked in between her ass cheeks.

That said, I was at a friends house having some cocktails like a bunch of queers and Rihanna came on TV in some cosmetic commercial and my dog went fucking nuts, barking, growling and all that shit….now you don’t know my dog so that doesn’t mean much to you, but I do and the only time that fucker barks is when he sees other animals on TV.

So I guess he’s determined for me that Rihanna just doesn’t have it going on and I was blinded by my own kind of fever, a fever that these pictures help, but we’ve decided I’m just desperate….

Posted in:Legs|Rihanna