DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2009

06

Jul

James Blunt with a Slut at Some Beach Party of the Day

James Blunt is a genius, sure his songs are something you can not get down to if you have a cock, unlesss that cock likes rubbin up against other cock, because there was a serious science put behind his work and that was to write the most sensitive sappy shit imanginable about fantasies all women have and that make all their panties wet, like love at first sight on the subway and other cliche love related shit all sung with a hurting voice, like he really was affected by the shit, making every pussy in the world shed a tear for the motherfucker.

Now he’s living in Ibiza, the sleaziest party spot in the world, where pussy is plentiful and every single one of them dreams the next hit Blunt single will be about them and how they broke his heart….

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Posted in:Beach Party|Groupie|James Blunt

2009

06

Jul

Megan Fox and Some Topless Scene in a Movie of the Day

3 Comments »

Megan Fox is in a movie where she plays a vampire cheerleader, or something equally retarded, you know, a concept that a group of idiots who don’t get laid, sitting around talking about the hottest fictitious fantasy possible came up with and went home to jerk off to, before writing the shitty script. I hear Werewolf Nurse was runner-up but they figured that a hairy bitch wasn’t as hot as a sex addicted bitch.

I just IMDBed the shit, and realized that it is written by Diablo Cody, which pretty much explains everything to me, because I hate Diablo Cody I don’t really know why she got so much hype and won an Oscar, or really how she used to be a stripper, based on the fact that there’s nothing mildly attractive about her and it was probably a whole scam to broaden her phony artistic vision, something the Hollywood Execs bought into, because they are plastic pieces of shit who just want to make more money than God.

Fuck it, she gets topless and topless Megan Fox is worth pretty much everyone’s time.

Posted in:Megan Fox|Topless

2009

06

Jul

Ashley Tisdale Slutting Out in a Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some pictures of Ashley Tisdale teachin the kids about pre-marital sex because we all know going on romantic getaways to Hawaii with your homeboy that you’re making out with on the beach always leads to going back to the room and having some hardcore fuck session that involves Tisdale on all fours with a dick in her pussy and a champagne bottle in her ass, because her putting out dirty is the only thing that would explain why a motherfucker would be with her, you know lookin at her all day wondering why the fuck he’s with this bitch, how he got with her and remembering that it’s cuz she’s always donw to fuck, which I guess is really the life philosophy of all ugly chicks, cuz as long as you give a dude constant sex, dude will come back for more…and make you feel more loved than you actually are…because he’ll never marry your ugly face, but he will cum on it. Truth.

BONUS – CLOSE UP OF HER SHITTY FACE….

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Bikini

2009

06

Jul

Cuba Gooding Jr and Some Bitch in a Red Dress of the Day

3 Comments »

Don’t ask me why I am posting these pictures of Cuba Gooding Jr, because I don’t have an answer, I’ve actually always found him to be one of the most annoying celebrities out there, I don’t really know why, but it has to do with his dickhead face, the real reason I am putting these up is not to show off how he shaves his chest like the poofter you’d imagine him to be, but because I thought the chick he was with, or who was suckin’ up to him because she’s a chick and he’s been in movies, had her dress jacked up her asshole, and the only thing better than panty flashes is when you see a girl stand up in her summer dress and half the fuckin thing is inside her ass like it was cancer and shit was Farrah Fawcett. Doubt that joke worked, which doesn’t matter because I am on a multi-day drinking binge and I feel like death but not as dead as Farrah Fawcett. I could probably go on all day, but will stop now.

Posted in:Cuba Gooding Jr|Red Dress

2009

06

Jul

Lindsay Lohan Hiding Pictures of the Day

2 Comments »

Here are some of the hottest pictures of Lindsay Lohan that I’ve seen in a while, maybe it’s because I like girls who cover their faces up in shame, because girls who are proud of their slut behavior makes me nervous, but I like to think it’s got more to do with me knowing that she’s probably covering her face, trying to hide something, like from being totally wasted and wasted usually means she won’t be alert enough to realize she’s got some strangers dick inside her, but in Lohan’s case, that’s usually got more to do with having a numb pussy and not really anything to do with her level of sobriety.

BONUS – Here she is in Malibu lookin’ a little less fuckable, you know since passed out drunk chicks are way easier to stick your dick inside of than young starlets shopping during the day, at least that’s what I’ve always thought…

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Posted in:Drunk|Hiding|Lindsay Lohan

2009

06

Jul

Charlize Theron and her Legs of the Day

1 Comment »

Everyone loves Charlize Theron, mainly because she’s hot, but I like to think it’s because she’s a white chick from Africa, you know something seemingly rare to an ignorant fuck like me who thinks all of Africa is a series of huts and villages filled with black people and AIDS babies, making Charlize seemingly exciting to fuck because the possibility of her African HIV pussy, without actually getting HIV because white people don’t get AIDS, at least that’s what I tell myself everytime the condom breaks when I used to fuck dirty French Canadian street whores.

Posted in:Charlize Theron|Legs

2009

06

Jul

Janice Dickinson’s Crotch Shots of the Day

5 Comments »

Janice Dickinson doesn’t need a bullshit reason to party like July Fourth, this bitch looks like she’s always half in the bag, at least that’s the vibe I get every time I look at pictures of her, which is as often as possible, because crazy ex-models with fake tits and a coke addiction are kind of my fetish, I like the uncertainty of whether you’re going to walk in up them getting gangbanged by 12 black men, or them crying while banging their head into a lamp post on the street corner, but I may just be reading into things a little too much, you know, since I know nothing about her and don’t really care to get to know about her, I’d rather imagine her vagina that’s been explored by many before me, and probably smells like a girl with an eating disorder’s stomach breath.

Posted in:Crotch|Janice Dickinson

2009

06

Jul

Sexy Madonna Picture of the Day

1 Comment »

No, I’m not gay, although when whores finger my asshole and play with my nipples you’d think that I was, so I don’t actually find this picture of Madonna sexy, but I’m guessing she does, because otherwise, she’d do what other insecure cunts do and put some fuckin’ pants on. The thought of her vagina sneaking it’s way out of those panties is some serious shit, I’m talking what nightmares are made of, I mean provided she still has a vagina, because based on science the level of testosterone pumpin thru her veins could grow her a set of balls.

Posted in:Madonna|Picture

2009

06

Jul

Nicky Hilton in See Thru Shirt on the Beach of the Day

4 Comments »

It’s funny that one daughter from a family can turn out to be pretty low profile and off the radar, who stays out of the media spotlight and who uses her priviledged life to set up businesses that she likes, while the other one turns into a heavy cumslut attention craving piece of shit whore with a sex tape and no fuckin’ shame or dignity, just an eye on the dollars and camera flashes, willing to do and say anything to get noticed because her dad didn’t hug her enough as a kid. It doesn’t really make sense to me, because after watching Paris all these years you’d expect her younger sister to be the kind of girl willing to suck off Paris on the dancefloor at some club, because of constant sisterly competitiveness in one-uppin’ each other, just in hopes of getting people to talk about her, but instead she just walks the beach covered up with her boyfriend who is wearing some annoying “rich person humor” hoodie. Assholes.

Posted in:Beach|Nicky Hilton|See Thru

2009

06

Jul

Beatrice Borromeo in her Bikini of the Day

4 Comments »

This is Prince Pierre Casiraghi, he is an actual Prince and not one of Michael Jackson’s weird sex toys he called his kids, and his girlfriend some Italian Arsitocrat named Beatrice Borromeo and they are sitting by the pool, living the good life because they were born into it, while I am sitting here in the shithole I call home next to a pool of my wife’s piss because the fatter she gets the harder she finds bladder control and the less she bothers getting up to walking to the bathroom, it is just too much work for her heart and it’s just easier for her to piss herself, which has nothing to do with my love for bikinis, even if I’d be bangin hotter pussy if I was a Prince, maybe she’s a nice person.

Posted in:Beatrice Borromeo|Royalty