I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

20

Jul

Katie Price’s Retarded Tits of the Day

I was just lookin out my window and saw some girl who I guess didn’t realize some creep was lookin’ out the window, pick her frontal wedgie. It wasn’t a subtle adjustment either, it was like an intense digging for fucking gold to get the fabric of her panty’s life out of her big ol vagina…and I thought that was sad.

Not the fact that she has a gaping vagina that eats her panties that are too small for her because she’s not willing to accept that she’s no longer a size medium and isn’t ready to up the shit, because the tightness and wedging isn’t enough of a headache to justify the emotional trauma that comes with admitting you’re getting fatter.

But because she had to subtly do it on a side street, where only one creep got to enjoy the site, instead of embracing her condition and sharing it with the world.

That’s why I like Jordan, she just doens’t give a fuck and if she’s got a shirt that’s too tight for her, then she takes ownership of it, no matter how stupid her tits look, because I hear the only reason she has stupid tits, is so that her retarded son has something to relate to at home, you know so he’s not the only stupid thing in the house.

Posted in:Jordan|Katie Price|Tits

2009

20

Jul

Whitney Port is a Dump in her Bikini of the Day

I wonder what Whitney Port’s dad does for a living. I assume he’s in the industry because that’d be the only reason anyone would give a bitch like her a chance. That’s not to say she didn’t suck dick to the top, it is to say she’s more useless than a bloody tampon, and I’m not just saying that because she’s on The Hills, my least favorite thing in TV history, I’m saying it cuz watermelon would be a hotter fuck than her….mainly cuz a watermelon has more shape than this dump.

Speaking of suckin dick, I hope she’s got that shit down proper, because she is the kind of girl you only date because you are blinded by the constant blowjobs, and you don’t notice her shitty lookin’ body.

Speaking of The Hills, I made friends with three 17 year old girls who were all dressed the same while wasted on saturday night. They were on a busy street taking a pee beind a fucking bush and I decided to join them. They weren’t too impressed but I think one of them wiped their pee covered hand on mine, a moment I will cherish til the end of time….

Posted in:Bikini|Whitney Port

2009

20

Jul

Flavio Briatore and the Nice Things Money Can Buy of the Day

I’m sure you’ve heard that money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy everything else, well I’ll go as far to say that that everything else may be the key to happiness and that expression is just what poor losers tell themselves so that they don’t jump off the fuckin’ 10th floor window of their one room shitty apartment, because I can guarantee this Flavio Briatore motherfucker from the Grand Prix car races would not be married to a hot young pussy, if he was working for minimum wage at the local pharmacy and I am sure every day he sticks his dick in her smiles and pats himself on the back before cumming on her back, because life’s pretty fuckin’ good for him and all it takes is a couple hundred million dollars, sounds easy enough….

Posted in:Elisabetta Gregoraci|Flavio Briatore

2009

20

Jul

Pam Anderson’s Boyfriend is Ashamed of the Hepatitis of the Day

Pamela Anderson’s boyfriend has a funny story. You know when you were sitting around with your friends back in college and you were drinking before you went out to get laid, but not actually ever closing the deal, and you used to play “Would you rather?”, and one of the questions was along the lines of “Would you eat Pamela Anderson out when she was on her Period?” or “Would you rather lick her ass right after she took a shit?”, or “Would you rather fuck Pamela Anderson up the ass without a condom even if she was HIV Positive?” because you know she was the fuckin’ hot shit of the decade, the go to celebrity pussy to jerk off to, because she was hard nippled in a bathing suit on all our TVs late Saturday nights and had a sex tape and Playboy career.

Well Pamela Anderson’s boyfriend is living the “Would you rather”, sure it’s a decade and a half too late, but I guess no matter how grey and dead her pussy gets, she’s still Pam Anderson, and he was just some nobody construction worker, so when it came to would you rather be content having met a girl you used to fantasize your first wife looked like, or would you rather get Hep C from fucking her, he chose ther latter….and so would you.

But I guess he’s trying to hide his face so when she’s done with him, like she’s been done with so many men before him, he won’t have Hep C tattooed on his forehead scaring all the new pussy away….

Posted in:Hepatits|Pam Anderson|Shorts|Whore

2009

20

Jul

Annalynne McCord’s Bikini Birthday Party of the Day

I get that Annalynne McCord’s mastered the real secret of staying in the Paparazzi’s lens and securing her celebrity for being on a shitty TV show, and that’s by wearing a bikini as often as she can because bikini pictures get picked up everywhere and people talk about you, sure it’s a cheap strategy, but the only other thing that will get her on this site is if she’s got a sex tape or is flashing her tits and pussy, because despite appreciating the fact that she’s skinny, I just can’t handle that stupid fucking face and dopey lookin’ mouth all teeth and smiles, shit’s ugly and the only way I can look past that is if I am lookin’ at her other lips…you know her LABIA lips….

Posted in:Annalynne McCord|Bikini|Birthday

2009

20

Jul

Simon Cowell Gets a 100,000,000 Dollar Lap Dance of the Day

Guess what happens when you close a hundred million dollar deal with American Idol to add to your already insane level of success you have experienced the last 10 years…you get groupie gold diggin’ bitches who convince themselves that you are hot shit because they want a record deal and an exit strategy from their shitty broke ass lives and figure you look better than the billionaire Anna Nicole Smith prostituted herself to, because they’ve seen you on TV and they like that you’re an asshole with a horrible fake tan and that’s enough to make any pussy quiver with excitement the second they meet you in person, at least enough to give you a lap dance in the middle of a club because I guess all girls are wallet fuckin’ whores and if she fucks you the best she’s ever fucked, she thinks she won’t get voted off this week and will make it to LA. Get it, that was an American Idol joke. I’m pretty clever. Admit it.

Posted in:Groupie|Simon Cowell|Slut|Whore

2009

20

Jul

Dita Von Teese Does Bar Mitzvah Appearances of the Day

I am not sure what rich person private party these pictures are from, but based on how relevant aging goth chicks who were once in Playboy after becoming famous on the internet for doing lesbian porn, back when the internet was just starting out and there was limited girls willing to get naked and hide the fact that they are whores behind some lost art of “striptease” and instead of accepting that they are nothing but worthless sluts, pretend they are performing artists, it wasn’t anything too high profile.

Her internet scam bigger than the nigeria shit, helped secure a decent fan base of dudes waiting to see her pussy, before getting scooped up by the mainstream, becoming the face of burlesque, in a time when burlesque suddenly became popular, leaving her the person fat girls with dyed black hair and bangs aspire to be, and leaving me confused why people care about some bullshit rip off burlesque show, all while securing her with big live shows at actual theaters and not in back alleys where she belongs, making her rich from selling her body, and leaving me really unsure how this all played out, mainly because she’s totally unattractive.

Anyway, at least she’s out doing private functions for a few bucks now, because that’s usually a sign that the end is near.

Click this link to see the rest of the pictures of the party you weren’t invited to
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Based on the Jawline – I think this is Rumer Willis – Maybe It was Her Party –

Pics via TheCobraSnake

Posted in:Bar Mitzvah|Dita Von Teese|Performance

2009

20

Jul

Condaleezza Rice Nude Pics of the Day

Here is a unconfirmed nude picture of Condaleeza Rice. I figure they look close enough to her that they are worth posting, but then again, I am ignorant and think all black people look the same. For all I fuckin’ know, this could be Denzel Washington or Will Smith or even Michael Jackson pre-death.

The truth is that I’ve heard her talk and bitch seems way too serious to get naked, I’m talking showers in her fucking business suit serious. But behind every girl, no matter how tough she is to make it in a man’s world, is a little whore excited to get her pussy fucked, usually all it takes is a little alcohol to get a girl back into her natural whore state, you know one that isn’t tainted with serious jobs and serious higher education and one that rocks the stripper name her parents gave her the way nature intended before getting all ambitious and shit, makin’ her the one who got away, at least that was before today.

After this past weekend, I would not be surprised if there are numerous nude pictures of me floating around via different sources. Shit was fucking so messy I still haven’t recovered and I spent the entire day in bed because my liver fuckin’ hates me. I may have to quit drinking cuz if I don’t I will die. True Story…

Another true story – I doubt these are legit.

Posted in:Condaleezza Rice|Nude

2009

18

Jul

stepLINKS of the Day

I’ve been staring at an asian girl outside my house with a baby carriage who looks like she’s 12 but is rockin’ the smallest dress I’ve ever seen and has insane body…. I can’t figure out if she is a babysitter or the mother because with Asians, you can be 12 or 40 and have an equally tight vagina, it’s one of nature’s great mysteries, maybe god’s answer to pedophiles so they don’t have to steal innocence, I’m not turned on by what I’m lookin’ at, I’m just doin’t he math and makin’ sense of the shit.

IF you wanna see how it turns out, you’ll have to:


Follow Me on Twitter – I’m Working on Getting Tila Tequila Level Fame on The Shit
http://twitter.com/drunkstepfather

Here are the rest of my stepLINKS….

Because You Don’t Have Friends or Lovers…
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Janet Jackson is Back on the Market, So If Your Dreams of Fucking Michael
Are Over Cause He’s Dead, She is the Next Best Thing
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Some Ho On ESPN Had an On Air Upskirt
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Miranda Kerr in Lingerie
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Who Knew Dick Cheney Could Be Kind of Amazing?
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Now Here’s Some Amazing Titles For Garfield Books
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Hot Video Hoe Rosa Acosta’s Sluttiest Pics
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HAWAIIAN TROPIC BIKINI CHAMPION HAS AN AWESOME FUCKIN’ BODY!
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Confessions of an Actress
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Anna Paquin is Hot and Weird Looking At the Same Time
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More Japanese Gameshow Insanity
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Some Hilarious Open Letters to Some Very Annoying People
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Striptease of the Day
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I Don’t Care If She Can’t Swim, I Still Wanna Bang Eva Mendes
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart?
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Coco Wants To Offer All The Ladie’s Out There Some Dating Advice
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Evan Rachel Wood and The Dude She is Currently Fucking Go Out On the Town
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Naked Lesbian Slumber Party
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Leelee Sobieski Is Engaged and Suddenly I Remember How Hot She Is
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I Would Gladly Be Denise Richards’ Friend With Benefits
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Hand in the Toaster on the Simpsons Is Always Good for a Laugh
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Some Blind Items, Because It’s Friday and You’re Probably Gonna Be Bored All Weekend
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Nicole Graves Does Some Chores
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How Even a Pussy Like You Can Win in a Fight
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More Naked Sluts Fighting
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Lola is Sexy in that 80’s Kind of Way
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Mother Drags Kid Through Store – VIDEO
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Random Photos of the Day
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surprisingly, This Fergie Bikini Throwback Doesn’t Make Me Want to Puke
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Beware of Flying…Bikes?
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Vida Guerra Body Paint Throwback
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If You Ask Me, She is Very, Very Fuckable
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What Can I Say, I’m a Sucker For a Brunette
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Sure, One of Them is a Lesbian, But That Doesn’t Mean I Wouldn’t Bang The Veronicas
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I Love Gisele and Her Platform Boots
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Now THATS An Ass I Wanna Be All Over
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5 Ways You Are Treated Like a Criminal Everyday
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Janine is Tattooed And Half Naked
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Roselyn Sanchez Looks Like She Wants Me Penis In Her
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The Carpet Doesn’t Match the Drapes
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He Hates Crack Whores – VIDEO
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This Vintage Sex Ed Tape Will Make You Puke
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The Moral of the Story is: Don’t Hang Out with Talking Animals
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WWE Star John Cena’s Wife Hikes Up Her Wedding Dress ALL THE WAY!
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Scarlett Johansson in this Porn Parody Photoset
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

17

Jul

Jennifer Lopez Picture of the Day

Jennifer Lopez is still alive and kicking, despite the countless number of times I’ve wished death upon her and here’s a picture of Jennifer Lopez pushing her tits out like a 14 year old girl at the summer camp dance trying to seduce her CIT, only less exciting. Maybe it’s be worth lookin’ at if she wasn’t such a fuckin’ cunt. The only thing good about Jennifer Lopez is that that Latina Hype shit that gave her a career a few years back has died the fuck down and no one gives a fuck about her or her fat ass anymore. The only bad thing about that is that she milked that shit like she wasn’t the lazy pig we all know she is, like the latinas I know milk the sales at cosmetic counter of my local dollar store…and here she is on set for a new movie and that is horrible news. Let’s hope something goes wrong.

And yes – I cropped out her ass because no one needs to be celebrating that shit…and by celebrating I mean masturbating to it…

Posted in:Cunt|Jennifer Lopez|Tits