I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

04

Mar

Day in the Life of an SI Model of the Day

Here’s a video with some of the bottom feeding SI Models. I say that because I’ve never heard of them, so maybe they’re the next big fucking thing, and since I find this whole swimsuit model shit hot, I also find it fucking boring, so I didn’t really bother lookin’ at them because they all kinda look the same and that’s usually pretty amazing and for my entire life I’ve said that all the hottest famous sluts are bikini or lingerie models, unfortunately, this video doesn’t give much insight into them being more than just a set of tits, when asked what it’s like to live a day in the life of an SI Model, they just say awesome.

Awesome? Are you fucking kidding me? You get paid 10,000 dollars a day, or more, to sit in a fucking bikini where you are flown for a week, but only need to be shot for 4 days, and when you are working you just lay in the fucking sun and pose. You can pretend it’s hard, and that it’s a struggle, because you have to work when you are jet lagged or have a cold. Go fuck yourself, I guess you have that attitude because you’re hot and have never actually had to work in a normal fucking job and if you had, people would just let you suck at it because you were hot.

Either way, here’s some more on the models in the video…because I’ve never heard of them.

Melissa Haro
GO

Jessica Hart
GO

Damaris Lewis
GO

Posted in:Models|SI|swimsuit

2009

04

Mar

Ashley Tisdale Ugly Watch of the Day

Yep. still ugly. Sure these are probably the best pictures I’ve seen her in. Maybe she’s gone for some off shore plastic surgery, you know the same place you signed up to get the vagina built into your leg so you’d have something to fuck and when you weren’t fucking it, you could tuck your dick into the pouch and have no need for underwear, pretty much saving you money in the long run, you know making your weirdness work for you in this economic crisis.

Or maybe I’m just blinded by having to see my wife naked the last 3 days because she refuses to get dressed and ready for anything that isn’t fat and disgusting, unfortunately for me, no one else is, making my chances of that happening slim to fucking none.

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Ugly

2009

04

Mar

Britney Spears Back in Concert Pictures of the Day

Britney Spears brought her elaborate concert filled with smoke, mirrors, circus bullshit, dancing to distract the world from her doughy body, her insane brain, and the fact that she can’t sing. The good news is that she didn’t fall asleep halfway through the concert while eating mustard out of a jar, she didn’t try to hang herself off one of the props, and she did the whole thing showing off her mom body in a way that it didn’t look too much like a mom body, you know reminiscent of a simpler time, when she had one music video that played on repeat and I had cable and no job and she was 17 and I wasn’t and you know how this story ends.

Here are a shitload of her concert pictures, I wasn’t there, so what more do you expect me to say about it. I want to go to the one that happens in Montreal at the end of the month, I figure it’ll be a good place to abduct kids and the world can always use another amber alert…even though I’m sure he audience are people still latching on from 9 years ago, like me.

I asked for tickets on the site already and no one got back to me, I guess my dreams of meeting Britney before she dies will never be. Hit me baby one more time.

All I can hope for is she gets knocked up by another one of her bottom feeding back-up dancers who claims to be ungay. I feel like Britney needs more babies to live up to her destiny of being a deadbeat mom from the gutter.

Who cares what I think, here are the pics.

Here are some performance videos if you care, I don’t really, but figured I went to this much trouble, why the fuck not post them…

Britney Spears Performing Me Against The Music in the India Shit…

Performing Baby One More Time in the Black Bra Shit

Performing Breathe On Me with Her Nipple Tassels

I am sure there are a lot more – but I’ve played the 13 year old girl angle enough for one night….wow…this post makes me look like a real big fag in love with all things Britney…I just like her tits…yeah that took back my manhood….

Posted in:Britney Spears|Circus|Concert

2009

04

Mar

stepLINKS of the Day

No one entered the pubic hair contest. I guess it was a bad idea. People are complaining I write too much about twitter. I guess it’s because I don’t leave the house since it’s winter so my adventures and inspiration is fucking limited to answering idiot telling their friends what they are up to, sure, I got drunk and in fights the last 3 weeks straight, but I’ve also blacked the fuck out each time, so I don’t remember what the fight was about, maybe calling some Gangster’s red shoes stolen from Santa Claus was one thing that set someone off, bullying some girl like I was Chris Brown was another, but the whole thing is a blur, so you’ll have to deal with my twitter talk, so you can stop emailing me, I’m hibernating, just be happy I update this shit, when I could find more satisfaction/gratification sitting on my ass doing nothing.

On the positive side of things, the site is pretty much dying. Thanks economic crisis for forcing me to come to terms with not being funny to the general population like I was that asshole on Saturday night live or Judd Apatow shit or even Jimmy Fallon, cuz I’ve made a point of watching him fail, but have a feeling no matter how bad he is, people will convince themselves that he is good, just because he’s on TV. He’s just not there yet. Not that you care.

Lastly, I accidently hit Perez Hilton’s Britney Spears first concert review, I love how fucking two faced this homo is, you invite him to your concert, and all of a sudden he’s fighting for you, you ignore his calls to hang out and he’s not inviting you to his birthday parties and people turn to him as a credible new source or media outlet now, it’s a fuckin’ glitch in society and I hate you for creating him.

Here are some links, to get you through the night.

Some Things in Life Really Are Easy…Like Sluts Who Get Naked for Money….
GO

These Rock of Love Hos Are Just Took Fucking Much
GO

The Peter Griffen Chamber of Torture
AKA Just Turn on You TV and Watch Family Guy
GO

A Set Of Close Ups Of Carla Gugino Tits
GO

Peanut Butter Slumdog Millionaire Time
(This is a Movie Worth Oscars Approval)
GO

While on the Ping Pong Road to Victory
GO

Because I Know Good Porn When I See It
GO

Cindy Taylor Bares a Lot of Skin is Some Magazine
GO

The American Dream Really is Fucked
GO

And Now, the Dance of the Mega Keg
GO

Alison Will Be Your Angel
GO

I Like Mc Nuggets as Much as The Next Guy, But This is a Bit Too Much
GO

striptease of the Day
GO

Freida Pinto is Oh So Fine
GO

Why Do People Want to Be on Barbara Walter’s Face?
GO

How Else Are You Going to Find a Girl to Fuck
GO

Monica Belucci Topless Throwback
GO

You Can’t Look Like Halle Berry, But I Guess Smelling Like Her Ain’t Half Bad
GO

Pete Wentz Thinks Someone is Going to Murder Him and For All Of Our Sakes, I Hope He is Right
GO

Kate Hudson at Some Event or Another
GO

Some Watchmen Bullshit, Because You are a Virgin Comic Loving Nerd
GO

Shawna Lenee Strips by the Fire
GO

The Word From Some Asshole in LA is That None of You Mother Fuckers Are SUpposed to Curse This Week
GO

Attempt to Get Noodz is a Fail
GO

Home Bobsled Trials
GO

Yulia is in Bed
GO

Carnival Tranny Slow Motion Amazingness
GO

And This is Where I Will Go to Die
GO

Just Another Day on the Subway
GO

You Say You Don’t Need Help, I Say You’re Lying
GO
s
Lyndall Jarvis Just Ooozes Sex
GO

Some Sophie Anderton Topless Action
GO

Mother of the Year
GO

Blue Eyes and a Red Top
GO

The New Melrose Place Shit Fest Just Got a Whole Lot More SHittier
GO

Justin Timberlakes Impression of John Mayer is Dead Fucking On
GO

Bella Donna is Oh So Dirty
GO

A Dumb Video to Make Your Tuesday Better
GO

Olivia Munn at “Watchmen” premiere in Hollywood
GO

Dumb Cunt of the Day
GO

Octomom is Being Probed
GO

My Girl Jade Goody’s Not Doing So Well….You Know Since She’s Dying…of Cervical Cancer…
GO

Britney Spears Does Some Amazingly Bad T-Shirts…
GO

Some Chick Knows What Needs to Get Done to Get Laid…
GO

Disgusting Jenna Jameson Pregnant Pictures
GO

Some Funny STD AD
GO

Some Hot White Asian
GO

Her Name is Zuzana and Here she Is Showing Off Her Huge Tits
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’s PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

A Hot Chick and Her Nude Pics….
GO

This is Stupid Cleavage…
GO

But This Cleavage is Stupider
GO

Now That’s what I Call a Soccer Mom
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

03

Mar

Naomi Campbell in a Bikini of the Day

Here are some shitty Naomi Campbell pictures, I’ve lost interest in posting for the day, I actually lost interest many fucking years ago, but when I am given these shitty quality pics of Naomi Campbell in a bikini, who could really be anyone in a bikini, and the only identifier that it is in fact her is that we know normal black girls are too busy working to be laying in the sun, unless they are hookers/strippers/pornstars in Miami or Jennifer Hudson. But I figure it’s worth lookin’ at.

Posted in:Bikini|Naomi Campbell

2009

03

Mar

Paris Hilton and her Stupid Tits of the Day

Paris Hilton is pretty much over and done with as far as I’m concerned, but she manages to get attention by re-inventing herself with a push-up bra or a bra stuffed with a couple of those silicone inserts that make me feel uncomfortable because they turn me on. I guess she’s too much of a pussy to get real implants, I guess you become a pussy when your vagina takes over your life. If its not tending to the scabs and applying topical cream, it’s finding random dick to put into it and I figure if the whore wants to hold onto the attention she’s used to getting, she should just get a set of fucking tits instead of pretending to have one. Pretending just pisses people off, like the time I pretended to masturbate outside an all girls school on their school on lunch break and ended up getting chased by security. It’s like if I had just gone out and did the real thing, I coulda tuned on the awkward girl enough to make her my future girlfriend interested in further exploring my small penis, because boys she knows just don’t like her, instead I left with an asthma attack from running. Not that it matters.

What does matter is that I hate jacked up movie magic to make tits look like tits when there is no tit to begin with….

Speaking of the rich person weirdness, what the fuck is Ivana Trump into in these pictures?

Posted in:cleavage|Paris Hilton|Push Up Bra

2009

03

Mar

Someone Give Justin Timberlake the Jimmy Fallon Show of the Day

I’ve been sending twitter messages, yes, I just mentioned twitter again, because I have nothing else going for me and I think it’s a website that was designed for me, because annoying people and what they do in their useless lives comes easy to me. So anyway, I’ve been telling Jimmy Fallon all day that he is garbage and needs me to write for him, not because I think I am funnier than he is, but because I think everyone is funnier than him. He isn’t responding to me, so I’m just going to let you all know that in this segment Justin Timberlake carried this guy and his sinking ship and you should sign a petition to give the shit to him, not because I am a Timberlake fan, but because he’s a better comedian than Fallon, who claims to be a comedian, and the lies need to stop now.

Posted in:Garbage|Jimmy Fallon

2009

03

Mar

Princess Leia Gives You the Finger of the Day

The woman you have spent your entire life worshiping, you know dreaming about one day fighting intergalactic wars with, the woman you based all your fantasy girlfriends and masturbation sessions on, is not very nice. I guess it’s time for you to suck it up and move on with your life, because even the one girl you thought you’d always have in your life, thinks you’re a fucking loser and here she is at some comic conference letting the world know she’s had enough of these loyal fan losers who think her shit is a fucking religion and their bullshit is tiring, because taking the Star Wars job in the 70s to pay off some cocaine debt was a just a fucking job, instead it became a horrible fucking curse that she can’t fucking escape and it looks like she’s had enough of you fucking virgins.

Posted in:Princess Leia|Rude

2009

03

Mar

Annalynne McCord the Monkey Finally Gets her Banana of the Day

I’ve said Annalynne McCord looks like a monkey since the first time I saw that big mouth and her Slumdog Million Ears , so when I saw these pictures of her finally getting her hands on a banana I laughed.

Unfortunately, people out there find her hot, and thing she’s got it going on, and that’s why she has a career and why the paparazzi are taking pictures of her, so you can use the banana eating as some masturbation material, since it’s been an on going joke since you were in the 5th grade, despite her fuckin’ teeth lookin’ like serious weapons….

Posted in:Annalynne McCord|Banana|Monkey

2009

03

Mar

Lily Allen Eating Ribs in Bed Like the Pig that She is of the Day

I am always talking about Twitter like shit changed the fucking world, but I guess it’s the one way to tap into useless celebrities and respond back at them things you think is important, like telling Lily Allen she’s a fat fucking pig after posting these fat pictures of herself eating some ribs in bed at her hotel room wherever the fuck she is.

I mean I thought she was fat enough just in everyday clothes but she’s just become a lot fatter in my eyes, I mean this shit is so fat my wife would jerk off to the shit if she saw it, and this is what she wrote when she posted it….

Ribs and bibs , in bed. Gross in retrospect but so good at the time. Mmmmm

She’s the kind of eating disorder fat chick who recognizes that what she is doing is fucking disgusting while doing it, but has no self control in the moment, only after the fact she can sit down and share her lapse in judgement with the world. She makes me sick and not just just because those ribs look like her underwear on miscarriage day….

Posted in:Bed|Fat|Lily Allen|Ribs