DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

Sydney Sweeney Gives a Booty Show of the Day

Christina Aguilera Whorin’ Old Lady of the Day

Christina Milian Posing with Produce of the Day

Aurelie Dupont is the Instagram Of The Day

Britney Spears Returns With Weird Dancing of the Day

2009

Jan

Jenny McCarthy’s Hot Body in a Bikini with her Brother of the Day

5 Comments »

I always wanted to punch Jenny McCarthy in the face, which may not be saying much since I want to punch most women in the face, I think it’s one of those wanting to do what you’re not allowed to do, you know the same reason your 15 year old daughter is rippin’ lines and sucking two dicks at a time while skipping school, only a lot more angry. The reason I wanted to punch her in the face wasn’t just because she had fake tits and a pussy, but because she was fucking annoying. I’d see her yelling aggressively at me on TV back in the 90s used to piss me off in a big way and I’d want to shove that big horse head in the motherfucking trough and hold her under the water until I felt her stop resisting, knowing that enough oxygen was deprived from her brain to leave her in the corner playing with rocks and drooling, calm and not bouncing off the walls screaming at me, like her autistic son, but her body is pretty fucking spectacular considering all she’s been through and how old she is, so seeing her in some bikini pictures works for me since her screechy annoying yelps can’t be heard, but the real thing that makes these pictures hot is that this couple look like fraternal twins and everyone loves seeing or thinking about twins fucking, it’s next masturbation we can envy since we’ve exhausted every masturbation method possible to keep things fresh and don’t have a twin to feel like we’re fucking ourselves.

Here are those pics…

Posted in:Body|Hot|Jenny McCarthy|Tight

2009

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

6 Comments »

The site keeps going down, I can only assume it has to do with Scientology coming to get me because I may have implied that they are responsible for Travolta’s kid’s death, or maybe it’s just some crazed Saturday Night Fever fan (I am sure they exist and know computers better than they know most things) who can’t handle what I write, but I do know it all started after that Travolta post and can only assume it’s related. Speaking of related, my stepdaugther’s cousin emailed me to tell me she just turned 18 and now can take nude pics of herself for me, when I asked her for the goods she pretty much laughed in my face over the computer, called me a pervert and logged off and it’s girls like that who are the real fucking whores, the ones who actually get naked are angels sent from heaven. The truth is she wasn’t actually my stepdaughter’s cousin, but it was my segue (scooter).

Here are my links for today…I did it…I posted links on time. Motherfuckers, I’m back.

here Bitches on Rock of Love are Just Too Fucking Much
GO

Rachel Stevens Gets Her Lingerie On in FHM
GO

Close Ups of the Biggest Tits in the World!
GO

Hef’s New Twins Do What They Do Best
GO

Design Your Own Sneakers!
GO

So THAT’S What They Do with Our Mail!
GO

Lizzie Says Farewell to Christmas
GO

Chyler Leigh Makes Grey’s Anatomy Worth Watching
GO

Salt Water Taffy
GO

Find a Girl to Fuck, Because Yes, Fucking Dudes Makes You a Fag
GO

Kim Kardashian Takes it in the Ass
GO

Amy Winehouse Tit Slip Will Make You Want to Puke
GO

Some Bikini Shots of One of the Bitches From The Real Housewives of Atlanta
GO

More From the Gorgeous Tuny Chicken Machine Show
GO

Fergie Needs to Stop Worrying About Her Body and Start Worrying About Her Face
GO

Can Jessica Simpson Just Do Me a Favor and Fall Off the Face of the Earth?
GO

Britney’s Twitter Got Hacked
GO

Elmo is Creepy
GO

Luna Works It For the Cam
GO

Cat Fight Mops the Floor
GO

Record Breaking NYE Jump
GO

Adriana Sage Has The Ultimate Climax
GO

Who Doesn’t Love a Good Face Plant
GO

Who Needs Food?
GO

Because I Know You’re Back to Work Today, and You Need Some Excitement In Your Life
GO

Copier Gross Out
GO

Because Your Porn Collection Can Never Be Too Big
GO

Samantha Ronson Channels Her Inner Freddy Kruger
GO

Busty Babe Plays With Herself
GO

Because You Should Start the New Year Off Right. By Getting Laid
GO

Tara Reid is Still in Rehab
GO

Scarlett Johansson’s Esquire Photo Throwback
GO

Day at the Beach
GO

Katie Holmes Gets More Fucking Haggard By the Day
GO

Danni Wells is Naked
GO

Porn Site Strip Club
GO

Shay Laren Likes Polka Dots
GO

Turn a Juice Box into a Camera
GO

Zhang Ziyi, The Hot Bitch From Crouching Tiger, Is Looking Good in a Bikini
GO

Lycra Triangles Cover Titties
GO

Katie Holmes Spent – Wait for It – $14 Million Dollars in Six Months
GO

Hula Hoop Fun
GO

Mother Daughter Sex Prank
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS….

Some Girl and Her Really Big Tits
GO

A Collection of a Girl, Her Underwear Collection and a Mirror
GO

An Asian Titty Lick
GO

Black Girl and Her Box
GO

Some Ethnic Girl Posing
GO

This Shooter Girls’ Got Tits….
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

Jan

Women Have Orgasms During Childbirth of the Day

5 Comments »

So there’s a report that women have orgasms when giving birth, at least they interviewed some weird hippie chick who is obviously a modern dancer and the kind of girl who probably has orgasms walking or crossing her legs, because she’s so in tune with her body or something equally obnoxious that only girls with hairy bushes really understand while giving natural water birth, who claims she came giving birth, and there are a bunch of crazy bitches who agree that the passing of a watermelon through their cunts is pleasurable and the whole thing is kinda funny considering that orgasmic moment for the mom may be the last one, because for the rest of their marriage, their husbands’ orgasms will happen thinking about their wife before the day when the vagina they married was a little less mangled or most likely thinking of hotter, younger girls they can’t have. Good Times.

2009

Jan

Shauna Sand is Emotional of the Day

3 Comments »

Shauna Sand brought her big tits and plastic face out to some event and the paparazzi asked her how she felt about John Travolta’s son and she said she cried all day. I call lie on that shit because I know for a fact that her tear ducts were removed during an eye lift and she’s so jacked up on botox the only thing she’s still able to do is suck dick and that’s only because she made sure to work around her self-induced disability to do the only thing she ever really knew how to do. Either way, it’s always fun to see her in action because the idea that people care enough about her to even bother talking to her is pretty much the biggest joke about all this.

Posted in:Shauna Sand|Tits

2009

Jan

Miley Cyrus in Some Ripped Pantyhose of the Day

3 Comments »

Miley Cyrus is really taking this teenage slut thing seriously. Here she is wearing a pair of pantyhose you’d expect to find on a dead hooker found in an alley in the seedy part of town after she was raped and killed, or even in a field an hour out of town for the more nature loving whore killers. Or maybe even something you’d see on a crackwhore who is on day 5 of a serious bender that’s left her curled up in the corner of a charge by the hour motel room, unshowered, in the same clothes she came in on, crying in the corner alone, but it’s definitely not something you’d expect a 15 year old to be wearing as if to advertise how her 21 year old ravages her so aggressively because the passion is so high that she can’t keep a pair of pantyhose for more than a couple hours before the crotch is ripped out and his fingers are scratching a record like he was Sam Ronson on her box, but I am probably jumping to conclusions, she probably got them at Hot Topic and they are probably part of the Perez Hilton clothing collection and her older fame hunting boyfriend is gay and just with her for the publicity knowing that she’ll never try to bang him since she’s a good little Christian who is totally sexually satisfied thanks to the execs at Disney. Sure, talking about a 15 year old sexually is considered wrong, maybe even illegal in the US, but I like to look at it as a practice that created your great culture…without pregnant 15 year olds in the 1600s, none of you white folk would be eating your McDonald’s or drinking your Coca Cola today, so hating on me for talking about a 15 year old having sex is like a black person hating on slavery, that shit just doesn’t happen….oh wait…maybe I’m wrong about that….but what I am not wrong about is that when I was 15 I was fucking and I’m sure you were too, and if you weren’t you would have been, if you found a girl retarded enough to let you, I’m talking Down’s Syndrome retarded not bad judgement retarded, because those in helmets usually have low standards. I think that’s enough of this post.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|Pantyhose|Ripped|Slut

2009

Jan

Zhang Ziyi is Topless and Molested at the Beach of the Day

3 Comments »

Her name is Zhang Ziyi and I don’t know who she is, but by her name, I think it’s safe to say she’s not white. She is however a whore, and here she is topless and letting some dude molest her ass like he was her English Teacher and she was eager to please because he came from the promised land of opportunity and she would be willing to do anything to get there, and he had no problem paying her 5 dollars a week to be his full time hired girlfriend and do all the things regular girlfriends are supposed to do but don’t, like sex on demand, cleaning and laundry and anal.

To See the Rest of the Pictures You Gotta Click This Link…Cuz I Don’t Want to Get Sued….
GO

Posted in:Ass|Topless|Zhang Ziyi

2009

Jan

Kate Moss Tit Slip in Thailand of the Day

3 Comments »

For the longest time I was a fan of Kate Moss. I didn’t find her to be the hottest bitch out there but something about her turned me on. Maybe it was because she didn’t shower, didn’t give a fuck and was always high or drunk, maybe it was because she wasn’t fat, had lots of money and looked like she liked to fuck even if her vagina was dirtier than a janitor’s mop bucket at an pre-school that just had to deal with a gastro-intestinal outbreak that left shit and puke on the walls, I was down. But it’s a couple of years later, time has done it’s job, and I’m over it, but I’ll still post her little floppy tit any chance I can get….

Speaking of being over it, it looks like she’s not over Pete Doherty, because here’s a picture of Kate Moss trying to scratch him off her, but seems like no matter how hard she scratches, or how deep those nails go, the itch just never goes away…

Posted in:Kate Moss|Tit Slip

2009

Jan

Kelly Brook is Soft in a Bikini of the Day

11 Comments »

Kelly Brook’s out in a bikini and not that many other celebrities are, so I have no choice but to post her shit and I mean shit because there’s nothing I hate more than a sloppy soft lookin’ bitch. I don’t believe in the whole doughy body represents femininity, we don’t live in the late 1800s, where doughy meant she wasn’t a malnourished dying poor person who just ate her last potato, the kind of girl who wouldn’t die having your babies due to weakness, and big floppy tits aren’t enough to make me appreciate the shit, because with big tits comes big everything else and I am talking about her labia.

It seems like the world isn’t running out of doughy bitches, so those of you who like them should be happy. Just the other day I was waiting in line at a food court counter and this bitch cut the line in front of me because she claimed to be hypoglycemic and needed to eat before passing out, and proceeded to order a full sized pizza and a sugar-cured ham sandwich with extra mayo and no tomatoes or lettuce to get in the way of getting fatter. Not that has anything to do with Kelly Brook or her high waisted bikini bottoms designed to hide her gunt/muff gut/ ponch or whatever the fuck you call the bubble above the cunt or the fat in the upper pussy area.

Posted in:Bikini|Chubby|Kelly Brook|Soft

2009

Jan

Annalynne McCord is Skinny in a Bikini of the Day

2 Comments »

Annalynne McCord’s a lesbian, at least that’s what people are saying and I don’t really care how she gets off, because she’s relatively unknown and she’s definitely not relevant enough for me to bother with, but when I saw these bikini pictures of her skinny little body, I had no choice but to post them because they inspired me. The reason they inspired me is pretty simple, I knew exactly how I’d role play with her if I was fucking her and it’d be to play Epidemic.

You know how they say the Aids virus started in Africa and was a primate disease. They say that some how it got to people, whether it was from eating their meat or fucking them, sure it’s just s hypothetical theory to distract you from figuring out that it was government created in a lab to wipe out the gays and blacks in a White Christian world, but that doesn’t matter.

What does matter is that I’d make her hide behind a house plant, I’d dress in my favorite khakis and safari helmet, and I’d walk through the room hunting her and the second she flings her shit at me, I’d jump her and fuck her raw dog from behind as animalistic as possible in hopes of getting a disease to wipe out millions of people, it’d be the best orgasm of my life….and since that is never going to happen, we’ll just have to check out this monkey-lookin’ bitch in her bikini.

Posted in:Annalynne McCord|Bikini|Skinny

2009

Jan

Tila Tequila and her Sluts Get Coffee of the Day

No Comments »

Tila Tequila brought her big fake tits out to get coffee with her really fucking ugly girlfriend and they had a long conversation with these paparazzi. I guess when you’re a useless nobody fame whore, you gotta take all the attention you can get and it gave the paparazzi the chance to let out their comedian fuckin’ roots. When Tila’s tits and her girlfriends weak chin and teeth were sitting having a coffee, these fuckers decided to simulate the useless conversation they were probably having and I laughed, because after hearing the build-up as they walked to get coffee, I realized how much of a waste of fucking space these whores are. They have nothing to offer the world, but for some reason all of them are rich and I guess my New Year’s Resolution should be to get fake tits, to dumb down my shit and to talk about slutty things I do and keep things on as sexual of a kick as I can, because then, maybe I’ll be able to buy that Villa in the Caribbean I’ve always wanted, or in Tila’s girlfriend’s case, I just need a really rich father to feel sorry for bringing such a weird lookin creature into the world, so ugly that the only way he can live with the guilt of doing that to another person, is to send checks on the weekly, which luckily keeps the beast as far away from home as possible, so that he doesn’t have to cart her around and introduce her to his friends so that they don’t have evidence of how inadequate your sperm is as it’s product smiles with it’s big teeth and weak chin in their face. It’s better to have her in the tabloids and tell people she’s adopted because when you saw her at the orphanage, you reflected on your success and figured it’d be nice to give back to the world by saving an ugly baby no one wants, and that lie is hard to play out when she’s by your fuckin’ side, because when your daddy doesn’t want to admit you’re his, it causes issues, resentment and lesbianism….I guess it’s all starting to make sense now.

Posted in:Lesbian|Pinch|Tila Tequila