I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

26

Aug

Tara Reid Does Tradeshows of the Day

There comes a time in every useless celebrity’s life, the kind who is hot for a minute and spends the rest of her career drinking heavily to make up for not having any talent other than the look guys want to fuck, slowly self destructing your once appealing young lookin’ face and turning into that of a haggard catcher’s mitt, where they have to accept the fact that the free ride is pretty much over. Tara Reid was the hired help at the Ed Hardy founder’s booth the other day, you know working a fuckin’ tradeshow like an aspiring model who doesn’t have what it takes to ever be famous, handing out free samples and trying to seduce buyers to pick up the company’s product line and that’s a pretty far cry from gracing the silver screen in teen comedies. I guess it’s safe to assume that she needs the money since she hasn’t worked in years and I guess it’s an easier gig and paid better than anything you did today, but it’s still must be pretty depressing knowing that the next step is to turn tricks for money as a high class escort or work the local Costco handing out samples of shitty pre-made food, only to be told repeatedly by the customers that she looks a lot like Tara Reid, where she’ll respond saying that she gets that all the time, because the embarrassment of admitting to such a horrible ending to a career that once seemed prosperous is just too damn depressing…Either way, she’s showing off her back and I feel like there’s not enough exposed backs on the site, so I guess she’s not totally useless.

Posted in:Tara Reid|Tradeshow

2008

26

Aug

Hayden Panettiere’s Got a Bikini on for her Birthday of the Day

People have contacted me concerned that I haven’t updated the site and it is already 2 pm, well the reason for that is simple, I was out celebrating Hayden Panettiere’s birthday, not because I find her hot or interesting, or because I was invited to her seemingly boring as fuck get together with her dog, her most loyal of friends, but because I like any excuse to get wasted. Tonight’s excuse is College Frosh Week.

She looks like a fuckin’ clown with her party hat perched on her big midget head and her rippling muscles are something only a really horny guy or gay dude would find sexy, but she’s rumored to be having a nipple slip that I can’t make out, which shouldn’t be anything to get excited over considering she’s the kind of girl who can pass off going topless at a non-topless beach because people wouldn’t know whether those muscles were a man or a woman, but they are good enough for me because I have low standards and that makes them good enough for you.

Posted in:Bikini|Hayden Panettiere|Nipple Slip|Uncategorized

2008

25

Aug

stepLINKS of the Day

I got in a fight with a ghetto 8 year old black chick who was hangin in a park near the bench I was sitting on. She spotted me and I guess wanted to start shit because she pretty much started walking my way singing some song….as she got closer, her voice got louder and louder until she was right next to me screaming the lyrics of some Spice Girl song. I didn’t want to make eye contact, because I figure she was lookin for some excitement and would run back to her dad to pistol whip me or something, but I accidently looked up at her and she got gangster on my ass asking me what the fuck I was lookin’ at. When I said nothing, in hopes of her just walking away she started calling me names like fat boy and motherfucker trying to provoke a reaction out of me. I told her she shouldn’t talk to strangers and she told me she was going to tell her daddy I tried to touch her.

She was 8 fuckin’ years old and as I was trying to figure out why the hell she wasn’t sweet and playing with barbies, and that’s when she started throwing sand at me like we were in Ethiopia or some shit. I ended up just getting up and leaving like the pussy I am because the truth is, 8 year old girls are the boss of me because they are the last people I want any interaction with on any level because with all that sex offender shit going on out there, there’s no way I’d win that battle even though I am not pedophile, so I pretty much lost tonight’s battle, but I am sure there will be more since she lives in my neighborhood and here are my links….

I Want to Stick My Penis is Susan Lucci
GO

I’m Sorry, But Robots Scare the Shit Out of Me
GO

Joanna Krupa and Krystal Forscutt Are Two Big Titted Peas in a Pod
GO

Catch and Chug Make Even Me Like Baseball
GO

Dear Britney Spears and Madonna: You Suck
GO

Good Afternoon, Hayden’s Thong
GO

The Best Porn You’ll Watch All Day
GO

Martha Steward Does Cake Farts…
GO

The Hottest Tennis Sluts You’ll Ever See.
GO

The 10 Hottest Boob Fondling Videos
GO

Dumpy Reese Witherspoon Bra Straps….
GO

Who Remembers the Theme From Benny Hill?
GO

Science Class Goes Boom
GO

Spend Monday Doing What You Did All Weekend
GO

Marilyn Manson is a Cry Baby
GO

Megan Fox Gallery
GO

Find a Girl to Fuck
GO

Fighter in the Olympics Attacks Ref
GO

Anke is at the Lake
GO

Angel Dark Gallery
GO

Heidi Montag, You Are Disgusting
GO

Alexa’s Body is Bangin’
GO

There’s Waldo!!!
GO

Shauna Sand is…Uhhh…Hmmmm
GO

Fuck You Miley Cyrus
GO

Rhianna is Filthy Rich and I Am Positive This Story is Bullshit
GO

Amateur Collection to Get You Through the Monday Blues
GO

Much Better Than The Real Olympics
GO

Getting Sex Has Never Been Easier
GO

Body Building Chicks are Disgusting
GO

Awesome Video From a K-Ci and Jojo Concert. Seriously, This is Amazing
GO

We’re All Gonna Die And This Here is Just More Proof
GO

Guido Beach Satire…As If That is Possible
GO

What Kind of Sick Fuck Abuses Someone with Cancer?
GO

Janice Dickinson’s Goes Crazy Over Towels….
GO

How to Have Sex in a Dorm Room for The College Kids Out There
GO

Some Sexy Nuns of 2008…..or Something…I Don’t Really Get…
GO

Israeli Hell’s Kitchen Slut on the Beach in a Bikini Video
GO

2 Israeli Bitches from Project Runway on the Beach
GO

The Wanna Fuck McCunt Contest I am Posting for My Homegirl
GO

Some Girl Who Reads This Site – Claims This is Her Site and Here She Is Milking Her Fat Tits
GO

MTV Cribs the Arab Edition Spoof…
GO

Fat Man Swim
GO

Nicky Case is Naked
GO

Last Week in T & A
GO

Jordan’s Tittles Hurt
GO

Steve-O Does More Dumb Shit That Makes Him Truckloads of Money
GO

Uhhhh.. What the Fuck is This?
GO

Did We Not Say All We Had to Say With The First Line of Paris Hilton Hair Extensions?
GO

Soccer/Football Babes
GO

How To: Win at Rock Paper Scissors
GO

20 Best Karate Kicks Ever….
GO

Young LA Slut in a Bikini….
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

25

Aug

Danielle Lloyd Shows Off Her Panties of the Day

I went to a lingerie store over the weekend because I had nothing to do and like talking to girls about underwear and what underwear they are wearing because it entertains me. I figure that going to a professional is less creepy and I am more likely to get an honest answer when coming from someone trying to sell me the shit, rather than just going up to randoms and asking to describe what they are waiting, so I guess in my old age, I’ve learned a few tricks to get what I want out of women, instead of getting slapped in the face or their boyfriend sent to hurt me.

So I get in the store and start walking around and some hot bodied girl in a push up bra comes up to serve me, I tell her that I am shopping for my wife to make her realize I am a normal family man and not some kind of creep who likes touching women’s underwear while it is still on the shelf, before ass smells and laundry machines taint the shit. So we go through all these sheer things, I lie and tell her that my wife is about her size and next thing I know, she’s pullin’ down her pants showing me what she’s got on, goes through what suits her body and I was close to getting her to even try the shit on and model it for me because I could tell she was the kind of girl who wished she was a lingerie model and just didn’t have what it takes and is forced to just model the shit for her unappreciative boyfriends and one night stands, but I accidentally sabotaged myself and freudian slipped that I want to fuck those panties right off her instead of just thinking it and she caught on to my game.

It was the best hour of my week and here are some pictures of some drunk British slut model who shouldn’t be a model, showing off her sheer-assed underwear, like drunk sluts should and they are similar to what the girl in the store told me I should be buying before catching onto the fact that I am just a pervert…..

Posted in:Danielle Lloyd|Panties

2008

25

Aug

Ali Larter Has Some Hard Nipples in Her Bikini of the Day

Ali Larter is some Heroes actress you all want to fuck and she’s wearing a bikini. Before Heroes, she was in a whole pile of shitty movies you’ve never seen including some National Lampoon piece of shit called Homo Erectus, where she met her fiance, proving that shitty movies, despite not making money, going straight to DVD and being an embarrassment to an aspiring writer, director or producer’s career, can still bring a lifetime of happiness to some people. Another thing that brings a lifetime of happiness: the bikini, and here she is with her hard nipples in one.

I could go on about how drunk I got, how I almost got in a fight and all the other weirdness that went on this weekend but I have a whole week of writing to do, so I’ll leave you with these pictures and the hope of more things to come for now…..

Posted in:Ali Larter|Bikini|Nipples

2008

25

Aug

Shauna Sand and Her Whore Heels at the Beach of the Day

There’s a public pool near my house where families go to get wet during hot summer days and I always see this one chick who I am convinced is a stripper, or was a stripper in her prime. She always walks in with the skimpiest shit on, showing off her fake tacky tits with her half-black baby and she always has a pair of heels on to make her ass look perkier, her legs look longer and thinner and to give the older dudes who happen to be their reason to cheat on their wives with her. She’s clearly on some kind of mission to find love with a man with cash so that she can give her daughter the life she deserves like private school and clothes that aren’t cheap stripper shit she’s forced to share with her mother and her plan hasn’t fully worked out for her, but I am confident that a divorcee who is there one Saturday he’s forced by the court to hang out with his kids while his ex wife has his old house to herself to fuck random dudes in all day long, will fall for her game, and maybe one day he will save her from her poor slut life and take her to the beach on an all inclusive vacation to see if she can actually manage her high heeled whore strut in the sand like she was Shauna Sand….a name that is fitting because, like Jesus walks on water, this bitch can walk on anything as long as she has a pair of her magic whore shoes on to carry her through it. Enjoy.

Posted in:Shauna Sand|Stripper Shoes

2008

25

Aug

Christina Aguilera Sluts It Up in Dubai of the Day

Donald Trump opened a building in Dubai because it’s a booming city and dude knows that he might as will cash in on the Arabs and their money, while America is falling to shit. He kept the event classy by bringing Aguilera in to perform because I guess he’s really trying to gently enter the arab market by discreetly polluting it with American trash.

I know all you patriotic fucks are convinced to hate Arabs because you believe they are trying to take down your country and shit, but the way I see it, they are a progressive nation who put a lot of energy in letting women know their place in the world all while the men go out and make mountains of oil money to bring home to their 4 wives who are dressed like ninjas.

They are a force to seriously be reckoned with and if things go their way, your wives and daughters will be coverin’ up which isn’t so bad considering the kind of perverts our culture breeds. I know that if I had my way, I’d be the only one allowed to see my stepdaughter naked.

Either way, here’s Aguilera slutting out in dessert luxury…..

Ivanka Trump Also Showed Up to the Event Because It is Her Inheritance and Retirement Plan…

Hayden Panettiere was also there, wearing an animal print stripper outfit because she’s wild and dangerous and pretty inappropriate considering it is an Arab city that doesn’t really care to see her midget freakshow body and have reason when they throw a sheet at her to cover that boxy body up…..

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Dubai|Hayden Panettiere|Ivanka Trump|Performs

2008

25

Aug

Sophie Monk and Her Blowjob Stance at the Hair Salon of the Day

Sophie Monk is a slut proven by this blowjob face you know she’s trying to pass off as a yawn. She’s the kind of girl with dick on her mind, you know trying to figure out who next to hit up to propel her fame to the next level so that she’s as relevant as Paris Hilton. You know her boyfriend’s ex-vagina that he’s dropped her for, giving as all an idea of how shitty Monk actually is in bed, because we all know how shitty Hilton is in bed and I guess she’s just practicing so the same mistake doesn’t happen again. You know I said You Know a lot in this post. I am so crazy when it comes to words. Watch out.

If you’re wondering why her name is tattooed on the back of her neck, I have no idea, but can only assume it’s part of her marketing plan, you know when a girl tells you shit like “don’t forget this face” or “keep my signature because I will become famous and it’ll be worth a lot one day”, only the “remember this name” as you’re pulling on her pony tail and fucking her from behind passive aggressive version….

Either way, watch her get her roots done, cuz she’s no natural blonde.

Posted in:Blowjob|Hair|Sophie Monk

2008

25

Aug

Heidi Montag and Her Tranny Work Out Music Video of the Day

I was planning on banning MTV from the site, but forgot about that ban when uploading these pictures of Heidi Montag in some workout gear leotards from American Apparel for her new video that reminds me of some kind of themed Frat Party where all the brothers of the fraternity get dressed up like they were Olivia Newton John in some kind of lame attempt to get laid that ends up working because girls are idiots.

By the looks of these pictures, this sluts biggest lie isn’t her entire life or the fact that she’s into Jesus and a virgin, or that she’s actually famous, it’s that she’s actually got a fuckin’ dick and her birth name is really Charlie.

I was the biggest fan of the American Apparel leotard and it’s ability to touch pussy, ass and tits at the same time, but over the course of time, shit’s become too fuckin’ popular and played out and when bitches like Heidi Montag start rockin’ the shit, you know that it’s pretty much over. RIP Motherfucker.

Posted in:Heidi Montag|Leotard|Tranny

2008

25

Aug

Michelle Trachtenberg Dresses Like a Fat Version of Her Boyfriend of the Day

[ Images removed in compliance with DMCA Notice ]

There was a time when Michelle Trachtenberg was the kind of Jewish girl I’d be willing to have sex with provided the opportunity arose and she was eager to piss off her parents by having sex with an old, fat, poor Mexican like so many teenage Jewish girls before her. I never sat around wondering what it would be like to climb her little jew leg to her jewish womb, but didn’t mind lookin’ at her do her thing.

That was before she ate one too many Kanishes and her hips went the way of her grandmothers’ after escaping the holocaust and finding happiness in America (the land of opportunity), making babies and hoarding as much food as possible both in her stomach and in her cupboards to be better prepared to deal with the fear of another bout with the starvation that comes with the genocide of her religion.

The truth is that her fat little jew legs and wide set jew hips that don’t balance out her little skinny jew head aren’t really what throw me off in these pics, it’s the fact that she’s wearing the same outfit as the dude she’s fuckin’ like they were on a cattle car to Auchwitz in their state issued uniform that does.

[ Images removed in compliance with DMCA Notice ]

Posted in:Fat|Michelle Trachtenberg|Shopping