I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

20

Jun

Blake Lively Upskirt of the Day

This Blake Lively chick is the hot one on the show Gossip Girl and the show Gossip Girl looks like a total piece of shit, but I wouldn’t know since I don’t have a TV, but I do know that if this is the hot one and she isn’t very hot, the show’s not worth watching.

Here she is showing off her black underwear as she gets out of a car because she’s too pussy to show her pussy. I guess you can pretend this is hot because about 50 years ago, black underwear was hot. It was something only harlots wore and was the forbidden underwear for people who didn’t care about God or the church and that usually meant they would have sex with you without making you marry them and were into abortions if you slipped up. In that more simple of a time, it was a lot easier to get turned on. I wish that a peek at a woman’s garter or panties was enough for me, but now I am desentized and I blame sluts, the media and the internet coupled with psychologically induced impotency from an ugly wife and the only way I’d get turned on by this Blake Lively chick is if she was getting gangbanged on my living room floor by 5 dudes and 10 chicks that are hotter than her dumpy ass.

Bonus – Here are Some Pictures of Blake Lively Covered in Dog Pee Because Even Her Dog Thinks She’s a Toilet of a Person

Posted in:Blake Lively|Upskirt

2008

20

Jun

Lohan’s Got a Tight Body of the Day

Lohan is the only person I post about that I actually like. Maybe it’s because we are connected at the soul, but I think it’s got more to do with her not really giving a fuck. You know, rippin’ lines in public at clubs after drinking heavily leading her to rehab and crashing cars, dating many random dudes including Mexican pieces of shit from That 70s Show, leading to rumors of STDs and now lesbianisn, but she just keeps on going and openly does her thing without being a spoiled cunt about things like Paris Hilton even though she probably could.

She’s made her own money and I think girls got it going on and if I knew how to write, I’d definitely write a movie that would win her an Oscar and based on my research it would either have to make her a transgendered downs syndrome retard with breast cancer who follows her dreams of being a pornstar but gets raped and pregnant and miscarries throwing her into a journey of self discovery that leads her to adopting her prostitute friend who got shot’s baby and turning her life around by finding Jesus before dying, because that’s the kind of shit the Academy Awards are really into.

Either way, this is Lohan and she is pulling up her shirt and showing off her stomach and I like it mainly because she’s not fat and everything around me seems to be fat, including myself but excluding my penis and my wallet.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Tight Body

2008

20

Jun

stepLINKS of the Day

I write about celebrities everyday because it is easy and I am not a very ambitious person. It’s like right in front of my face all the time but I don’t actually give a fuck and I didn’t realize that people actually do give a fuck about celebrities until last night. Sure, I knew they people liked laughing about shit going on in their lives, but I didn’t know that people followed there lives. I met 2 girls at a party who had matching dice tattoos and told me that they got that shit in honor of Britney and K-Fed. I had no idea that Britney and K-Fed had matching dice tattoos even though I absorb myself in this shit daily. They went on to tell me gossip about John Mayer liking golden showers, Keanus Reeves’ baby momma dying in a car accident and went on and on for hours. I was drunk and listening, and by listening I mean staring at their tits and that’s when I realized that I am actually a hack and people are fucking losers for caring about this shit and I am a fucking loser at everything but at least I can sleep well at night knowing that I have the longest daily link dump on the internet. Here it is.

Free Live Sex Show….
GO

Rio Girls Have Crazy Asses in this Video
GO

Funny Airline CEO Says Business Class Will be Beds and Blowjobs Cuz He’s Trying to Stay Competitive.
GO

Tila Tequila Looks Hot in a Tight Purple Dress
GO

Britney Spears Still Looks Pregnant
GO

100 Impersonations That Are Amazing
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Amelle Berrabah Of The Sugababes Has A Pantyhose Upskirt
GO

The 10 Best After School Specials
GO

This Ones for the Gays
GO

Hot Claudia Schiffer Photoshoot Video for Allure
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Top 10 Biggest Celebrity Breasts of All Time
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Let’s Travel Inside the Head of Tom Cruise for a Minute
GO

The 25 Sexiest Women in the World According to a Woman
GO

A crazy Story About A Man Who Found Gold in a Shitty Property He Bought – Check it Out
GO

Guess the Celebrity Cameltoe
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Laetitia Casta is All Types of Sexy
GO

Hillary Duff is a Mess
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Jamie Lynn Spears Has Officially Ruined Her Vagina
GO

To Catch a Super Predator – Super Mario
GO

Some Carrie Underwood Video to Masturbate To Because She Looks Distressed and We Like Girls in Distress
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Studio to Tom Cruise: Thanks, We’re Good!
GO

Make a Star Wars Storm Trooper Costume For Your Next Star Wars Convetion. Loser
GO

Skirt Prank Makes For Good Times
GO

Some Commercial That Freaked Me The Fuck Out
GO

The Great Office War
GO

Kirstie Alley Collapsed When She Weighed in at 240
GO

Some Unintentionally Dirty Candy
GO

Some College Sex Diary
GO

Jamie Lynn Spears’ Baby Daddy Has an Amazing Job
GO

The 8 Baddest Women in Sports
GO

These Kids are Off to a Bad Start
GO

Some Really Weird Aids Prevention Ads, Not that You Need Them, Aids is the Last Thing You’ll Die Of…
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Crazy is as Crazy Does
GO

Alessandra Ambrosio Gallery
GO

More Porn Than Ever I Know What to Do With
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And That’s Why You Don’t Play With Fire
GO

Moli Takes it Off at the Beach
GO

Glamour Girl Peach Wants to Show You Her Peach
GO

Tropical Thunder Viral Video Isn’t Too Viral But Still Funny As Hell
GO

Anne Hathaway Actually Looks Kind of Hot For Once
GO

Danielle Lloyd Takes Her Tits Out For a Night on the Town
GO

Bikini’s, Toplessness and General Nakedness
GO

Lulu is a Sex Bomb
GO

Now THAT’S What I Call a Body Guard I Want to Fuck
GO

I Wanna Punch AC Slater in the Face
GO

Luna Turns Her Webcame on in the Morning
GO

Topless Celebs Throwback
GO

Which Ass Would You Tap
GO

Lisa Van Allen Is PRetty Pissed Off That R-Kelly Got Off the Pedo Charges, And She’s Not Afraid to Say It
GO

Krystall Forscutt is Hot
GO

Let’s Watch a Gecko Get Eaten By Ants
GO

Go Fuck Yourself
GO

Homemade Tank!!
GO

Adriana Lima Gets Sized For Her Ring – Your Fantasy Chances of Marrying Her Come to an End
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Sunny Lane Looks Like the WHore She Is
GO

Bathroom Spycams Gross Even Me Out, But Here Are Some Anyways
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Maxine Knows How to Get the Job Done
GO

Suburban Amateurs
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ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS:

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Some Erotic Photography of Some Chick
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SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS AND HELP SUPPORT MY DRINKING CUZ I AM STRUGGLIN’ HERE

Use This to Get Sex, Because The Old Fashion Way Obviously Isn’t Working OUt For You
GO

Sluts Who Know How to Do Things Right
GO

Find Girls To Fuck, Because Sex is More Exciting When There’s a Chick
GO

BONUS:
It’s Christmas In July….Or June I Guess
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

19

Jun

Marla Maples in a Bikini of the Day

So Marla Maples is on some Phoebe Price, Bai Ling, Heidi Montag kick where she gets press for being in a bikini because she pays the paparazzi to take pictures of her bouncing around like some kind of jackass and I find it offensive, not because she’s a tight bodied old lady trying to show off all the hard work she’s been putting into herself because she has nothing better to do while sitting on piles of Trump money, but because I have a hard enough time getting out of a chair and this nimble athletic wallet fucker is just mocking me….

Posted in:Bikini|Marla Maples

2008

19

Jun

Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee Get Coffee Together of the Day

You know those who get Aids together stay together because having to tell your new partner about your ailment is more embarrassing than the time I shat the bed at a girl’s house like I was in Trainspotting only without the heroin and without the parents in the morning. It was just one of those, I have to fart situation that ended really fucking messy, but only because she was giving me a blowjob at the time. I feel like that is the one time in my life, she would have rather heard that she was suckin on a Aids dick, instead of being smeared with feces, but other than that rare circumstance, it’s a pretty obvious killjoy.

Either way, Pam and Tommy are out on a coffee date, they both looked haggard as fuck and aging hasn’t worked out so amazing for them, I guess they could be out talking about the kids, but what I do know is that Pam Anderson makes a serious point about having sex after every date and that’s why no matter what they are doing together, they are ending the day with a fuck and that’s because Pam Anderson is a whore….a busted up whore…but still a whore.

Posted in:Coffee|Pam Anderson|Tommy Lee

2008

19

Jun

Tera Patrick at some High Times Party of the Day

Tera Patrick is on the cover of High Times magazine, that can be found in News Stands Nationwide today, if you’re into shitty quality magazine that you only support because in some weird way you think you are supporting your cause as a pot head or some shit, like smoking weed is a fucking subculture that needs a fucking magazine, with girls in it and tips on how to grow shit, well the truth is that you’d have to be fucking high to find this Tera Patrick slut hot. She looks worse than most tranny whores I see and it looks like bitch swallowed her fucking chin along with a couple of gallons of cum. If you’re not high and digging these pictures than you are gay and there’s nothing wrong with being gay but there is something wrong with being straight and attracted to this disgusting mess in her shitty lingerie that makes her clown lookin’ face more like it belongs in a circus, and less like it belongs in my fantasies.

Posted in:Hightimes|Slut|Tera Patrick

2008

19

Jun

Rachel Bilson in Her White Dress of the Day

Everyone is freaking out over how tight bodied Rachel Bilson is. It’s called cocaine and you can get there too, all you need is a 40 bag habbit a day. The reason I know this is because she was in Montreal fucking Zach Braff because she obviously has no self respect while filming that shitty movie about the Last Kiss and she was out in clubs everynight ripping lines and if I am wrong she can sue me and if she sues me, I will be more than happy to go to court but not as happy as you would be because getting that close to someone who touched Darth Vader’s penis is like a god to you, because you are a fucking loser.

Posted in:Rachel Bilson|White Dress

2008

19

Jun

Matthew McConaughey is Drunk of the Day

A reader recently reached out and told me that they wanted some Matthew McConaughey news, I didn’t really know why but assumed it was because the reader was a poofter and into dudes and wanted some pics to get of to because he thought McConaughey had a rockin’ bod or some shit, so I told the motherfucker that I don’t want no faggots ’round here and tied him to the back of a pick-up truck like he was a black dude from the south and drove for 18 miles. I am just kidding, I only went 10 miles, but dude won’t be asking me for no faggot pictures anymore.

I know I should have taken the jock approach to gay bashing where you fuck the dude up the ass senseless hoping to fuck some sense into him because we all know that when you fuck a dude up the ass to teach him what being a faggot’s all about, it means you’re no faggot but just a teacher, despite how gay the act of fucking a man up the ass is.

Either way, I don’t know where I am going with this, but I am not actually a gay hater, I was just talking craziness, if anything I am an honorary gay because I write about celebrities, I don’t fuck my wife and I have great taste in colors and here is Matthew McConaughey wasted and having an amazing time in Central America doing what I do best without the obesity, anger, puke covered shirt or fingers inside an unsuspecting passed out whore.

All while leaving his pregnant maid back at home because you can’t give her preferential treatment just for letting you plant seed in her, the other maids will revolt and then no one would be there to cook dinner, clean the Air Stream or do the laundry….

Posted in:Drunk|Matthew McConaughey

2008

19

Jun

Andie McDowell’s Daughter has Facebook of the Day

Her name is Rainey Qualley and it sounds like something Muslim and like she’s going to fly her airplane into my house or like some kind of Hip Hop name, like back when I used to throw down a few freestyles on the street corner and went by the name Drippy Rattler, it was the late 80s and no one took me seriously so I quit, but I could have been the next Fresh Prince but less wholesome, but I guess that’s got nothing to do with the real truth about Rainey Qualley and that her parents are a bunch of Dirty Hippie Model Faggots who thought calling their kid Rainey was so representative of the condition of our world and because she was conceived on a rainy night in a field during the winter solstice or some shit. Again, I could be wrong.

The truth is that people are talking about her and trying to find more info out on her, I didn’t bother pulling in the research but by the looks of it she is about 18, she’s not all that hot considering both her parents were models, and goes against my theory that good lookin’ people make ugly babies, because in not being all that hot she’s not all that ugly either.

Her pictures or dull, she seems dull, she looks like she does well in school, plays the piano and on crazy nights she eats 2 bags of microwave popcorn with her fat ugly friends. She looks like she’s popular with the boys, unless that’s just one boy and I look forward to seeing this slut in training make the move to being a slut in action. Sometimes, they need the training wheels and sometimes they don’t.

If she’s not 18, someone email me so I can take it down and not get sued or arrested for some crazy American law that says you can’t write or talk about someone who isn’t 18.

Bonus – here she is with her mother in the event you have no idea who Andie McDowell is (like me)

Posted in:Andie McDowell|Rainey Qualley

2008

19

Jun

Interview With a Girl Who Is Suing VIctoria Secret for a Dangerous Thong of the Day

So this fat whore is suing Victoria’s Secret for a dangerous thong because everyone in America likes to sue for the stupidest fucking reasons in hopes of makin’ a couple bucks. The truth is that this whore just doesn’t realize how fat she is and throws on a pair of underwear that is too small for her and the shit isn’t designed to be strong enough to withstand that kind of abuse and explodes, almost putting out her eye. I don’t think the company who made or designed that shit should be liable for some fat girl in denial. I hear her next lawsuit is against the chair manufacturer who didn’t make a folding chair she sat on at a wedding strong enough to withstand her weight and then she’ll be suing Krispy Kreme and Popeye Chicken and Carl’s Jr for being the real culprit in this whole stupid mystery.

Watch her interview, bitch seems like she’s on crack and gives reason to girls everywhere to go commando because no only will you accidentally flash perverts like me, but you’ll also save your eye.

Posted in:Lawsuit|Thong|Victoria's Secret