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Archive for the GQ Category

2010

10

Jun

Heidi Klum Mom Body is Half Naked in GQ of the Day

Sure, Heidi Klum has had a ton of kids with various men, including a black man…and she’s German and Germans do all kinds of weird shit during sex, when they aren’t trying to kill off the Jews, like shitting on each other and other fun things times…making her all the more interesting….but I still like to remember her as one of the hottest pussies to ever make it in the Victoria’s Secret catalog…

Sure she’s boxier, older and has a lot of kids and a wrecked pussy, but she’s still Heidi Klum and that’s always a pretty good thing…here she is stripped down for GQ…

Posted in:GQ|Heidi Klum

2010

18

May

Miranda Kerr’s Bare Ass and Titties in June GQ of the Day

I like that everyone is finally catching up with me in terms of admitting that they are perverted. There was a time when GQ, Maxim and all the other magazines would push the boundaries as far as their advertisers would let them, in terms of getting girls almost naked without actually getting them naked, because naked means porn, so people like me would have to hit the internet to post the good fucking stuff, not to say that what I post is good, but to say that I don’t censor a fucking nipple because Coca Cola will pay me 100,000 dollars not to, I’m an idiot like that….but now all of a sudden everyone is getting more Euro and actually getting down with nudity, because let’s face it, nudity is natural, despite what all the Jesus freaks tell us, and the reality is that I appreciate their efforts, cuz anyone who can afford to get a supermodel naked to share with the rest of us is a noble fucking thing, but I just can’t wait til they step it up a few notches and start publishing pussy lip, cuz nipples and bare ass aren’t shit without vagina lip…

Either way, good shoot, good spread, good times.

Posted in:GQ|Miranda Kerr

2010

12

May

Christina Aguilera’s Nude Mom Body Does GQ of the Day

I was always more of an X-Tina fan than a Britney fan. I was into her small hispanic single-parent tight body. At the time I thought X-Tina Aguilera was a one maybe two hit wonder. I was so convinced that I used to make drunken bets with the drunks I hung out with about how she’d be some gutter pig 10 years down the road, who had burned through her one or two hit wonder money, and who would be easy to fuck if you had a couple bucks for her to use to fuel her drug addiction.

I figured the only challenge was going to be finding her…..I was convinced I was going to get a chance to try to impregnate her before finding out she had a hysterectomy due to HPV she caught on the streets singing into stranger cock and unfortunately I was wrong, because if I was right, it’d be a lot more fun that this 10 years later cocktease…..

She’s making a comeback after having a kid with the ugliest human alive, and she’s making us forget she has a kid with the ugliest human alive, because she’s getting naked and photoshopped for GQ, and I guess it’s better than her laying low in shame like she has the past few years…cuz nakedness is nakedness even if is staged in a way I can’t see cunt lip or nip. Tease.

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|GQ|Nude

2010

15

Apr

Candice Swanepoel Pussy Definition in GQ South Africa of the Day

The nice thing about South Africa is not just good for the surfing, or the apartheid era where blacks didn’t have the same rights as whites, but also because the white pussy that makes its way out of there and into the mainstream American world look pretty fucking good, but you can’t base a country’s pussy on two hot famous pussy that made it’s way out of the country, I mean take your small town for example, to an outsider, we all think America has good pussy cuz of the bitches we see on TV but the second you roll through a dinner in upstate New York, Florida or pretty much any tate,all you see is a sea of obesity and white trash….but as far as I’m concerned South Africa is a magical place of beautiful oceans and diamonds with 9% of the population white, 80% black, 31% of pregnant chicks are HIV positive, where Jews get stabbed in national parks …filled with poverty, crime and disease…and the 2010 Woldcup but most importantly Candice Swanepoel….and here is her pussy definition in GQ South Africa….

Posted in:Bikini Model|Cameltoe|Candice Swanepoel|GQ|Lingerie|Pussy Definition

2010

23

Mar

Mila Kunis is a Hot Cowboy of the Day

I have a think for Cowboys, especially when they aren’t Gay and in bars causing me headaches after having temper tantrums about comments I make to fat groupies.

I also have a thing for Mila Kunis, this girl drives me crazy pretty much everytime I see her, until I think about how she’s engaged to Home Alone Culkin, who looks like he is dying a slow HIV positive death from sharing needles…not that that would stop me from sharing her as he foams at the mouth in the corner thanks to all the pills he’s been popping…

Seriously…Mila Kunis is perfection. I watched Forgetting Sarah Silverman at least twice because of her sex scene and she was the only reason there was That 70s Show.

So good job GQ at making all my dreams come true…

Posted in:Cowboy|GQ|Mila Kunis

2010

25

Feb

Models Topless in GQ UK of the Day

GQ has done good and recruited a bunch of attention seeking models, got them half naked and taken some pictures of them. It’s like give a bitch money and pretend it’s not for the sake of guys jerking off to them, even though she knows it is, but just doesn’t want it labeled that way, she’ll do fuckin’ anything,

Posted in:GQ|Models|Topless

2010

05

Feb

Anne Hathaway Half Naked for GQ of the Day

It would be nice if I had big budgets and a brand name that celebrity pussy wanted to be associated with so badly that they get half naked, but I don’t. The celebrity pussy doesn’t know this site exists and the only photoshoot I ever orchestrated was a disaster that involved my dick in my wife and you make out anything from the small equipment to her gut and pubic hair…So instead I am forced to steal from other people who do….

Now here is Anne Hathaway, boring yet half naked and that’s good enough for me….

Posted in:Anne Hathaway|GQ|Half Naked

2009

15

Sep

Olivia Wilde Naked for GQ of the Day

Her name is Oliva Wilde, she’s on the show House, she’s 25 and she’s half naked in GQ and her name is the only Wilde about any of this, if she wanted to impress me, she’d pull some better stunts involving her vagina, like bouncing it on my dick, or even on anyone’s dick just as long as I get to be a part of it, as sitting here lookin at pictures doesn’t have anything to do with my life and I didn’t even know who she was before today, so if anything, I’m the one doin her a favor here and her little hard nipples are just wasting my time. This isn’t naked this is cockteasing and she needs to step up and stomp the yard fuck.

Posted in:GQ|Naked|Olivia Wilde

2009

14

Sep

Lily Allen’s Shitty Tits in GQ of the Day

The only thing good about seeing Lily Allen topless in a magazine is the hope that an actual hot girl who I actually want to see topless will eventually show off her tits in the magazine. The other good thing about it is that it is a reminder to all the companies who call me a porn site and refuse to give me money, depriving me of the life of luxury I feel I deserve from all the hard work I’ve put into the site by sleeping in pretty much everyday the last 5 years, that tits aren’t fuckin’ pornographic, they are just hot, except in Lily Allen’s case, where they are just some kind of cruel joke, like when this homeless dude shoved his dick down my throat one night when I passed out drunk, only without the taste I couldn’t get rid of for a week, since I’m pretty good at forgetting horrible things, and really how bad could this really be, I mean it’s a picture of fucking tits, shitty or not, they are still tits. Right?

Posted in:GQ|Lily Allen

2009

05

Jun

Bar Rafaeli in GQ of the Day

These GQ pictures remind me a some 1970′s erotic film kick only not very erotic at all.

A bunch of years ago I was working in construction with a friend of mine and we were doing demo on a house. We got the plaster off one wall and noticed a metal tin. We opened it up and found a handful of love letters than I guess were sent to this guy over the course of a decade from some girl and in those erotic love letters about missing each other, and classy sexual references because it was the 60s and they didn’t say shit like “Rape your gaping asshole while choking you out with a rubber cock as my friend pissed on your face”, you know like we do today when we are trying to express our love to our long lost mistresses, girlfriends, or whatever this “secret” love affair was.

The highlight of the tin was a series of topless photos of the chick and at least 4 or 5 tufts of her pubic hair in various letters, mainly because I had never seen pubic hair from the 60s, and it as nice to see how little it has changed over the years, but also because sniffing it made me cum pretty fast when jerking off to it, I just hope the pubic hair once belonged to a woman, cuz otherwise that’d make me gay, right?

Either way, here’s Bar Rafaeli in Italy GQ.

Posted in:Bar Rafaeli|GQ

2009

03

Jun

Megan Fox and All Her GQ Pictures of the Day

I know people find Megan Fox so fucking hot. You know constantly referencing her as the hottest bitch in Hollywood, while all I see is this Angelina Jolie impersonator with shitty tattoos and a lame boyfriend who has had a ton of plastic surgery, but you know what, it’s not about me.

Yesterday, I was talking to some 17 year old girl, as I do, you know to get in good with them when they are young, so that by the time they are 18, they feel comfortable enough to let you go down on them one night while drunk, despite the fact that 18 year old girls these days have been fucking since they were 7 and are dirtier than dirty 30 year olds you meet in AA.

Either way, she was going off about Megan Fox and how amazing she is and how she loves her views on sexuality and how she would totally scissor this bitch all night fucking long, and I realized that sci-fi dudes are not the only ones who jerk off this this cunt, but everyone does.

Here is her entire set from GQ. I posted a few of them the other day, but figured why not give you all there is….

Posted in:GQ|Megan Fox

2009

01

Jun

Megan Fox in GQ Lookin Good of the Day

Last night during a sexual fantasy I was having in my sleep I had a vision of Megan Fox and Lindsay Lohan having sex. I figure it could have been the wet spot on my mattress from my dog pissing in the bed that triggered it, or the fact that I saw Megan Fox at the MTV Awards and figured she needed to wear a vagina as a Swine Flu Mask, and figured why not make it Lohan’s. She’s been out of work and ready to take the fuck over and this kind of union would sell millions in DVDs. So let’s hope Megan Fox embraces that bi-sexuality she claims to have and makes this kind of magic happen.

In the meantime, here she is in some GQ pictures lookin good.

Here she is doing the Angelina Jolie at the MTV Movie Award Bullshit….

Posted in:GQ|Megan Fox

2009

07

May

Lydia Hearst Topless for GQ Italy of the Day

I like Lydia Hearst. She is a top model. She doesn’t mind getting naked. She’s from one of America’s original power families and probably has a huge trust fund but still seems to be cool enough to get her to do my laundry for me.

Maybe it has to do with her mother being some rebel into the art and faggot scene, who married her bodyguard and is in every one of John Waters’ movies, who was kidnapped and charged with sympathizing with her kidnappers after robbing banks with them or some shit.

I mean I don’t really know the story, but I know that this Lydia vagina could have been a Paris Hilton about shit, but instead she gets naked for big money in low key, artistic, fashion nudes that actually turn me on alot more that Paris’ trashy porn tapes.

Posted in:GQ|Italy|Lydia Hearst|Topless

2009

15

Apr

Evan Rachel Wood Lookin’ Scary for GQ of the Day

Marilyn Manson’s exgirlfriend or current girlfriend or whatever the fuck she is did a photoshoot for GQ and not unlike vampire freaks before her, selling her soul to the devil, hiding from the sun, keepin’ skinny on a blood diet, talking about intense shit amongst each other like planning school shootings and hating the government and “normal” people, hasn’t made her any hotter even if sex with her would be on some next level serial killer level of intensity, her 6 inch blade tampon remains a turn off.

I don’t know what I am talking about, but I am sure it’s something.

Posted in:Evan Rachel Wood|GQ

2009

27

Jan

Rihanna is in GQ Mexico of the Day

Normally getting anything “Mexico” stamped on anything you do is a pretty bad sign, you know since us Mexicans are looked down upon in America. We are seen as the bottom feeders who don’t belong there and our own country is seen as only worth the beaches and Spring Break parties, but it’s nice to see that Mexico has their own GQ magazine that showcases things that are more than just Donkey Shows, how to jump the border, how to work slower than any other human in the fucking world, or local talent like America Ferrira and Eva Longoria and have moved into the likes of Rihanna, who I want to fuck…..especially when Photoshopped in her bikini, cuz she looks better that way. Viva Mexico!

Posted in:GQ|Mexico|Rihanna