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Archive for the Bikini Category

2009

27

Oct

Miranda Kerr is Skinny in Some Bikini Photoshoot of the Day

1 Comment »

Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr was out working, if you can really consider this work, considering it looks more like a bitch sittin gon the beach having pictures taken of her, something I’m pretty sure we’d all be willing to do if it meant getting the fuck away for a week, if anything it is the shit we try to save 1000 dollars for, and by we, I mean you, because I’ve never really been on vacation and if I had 1000 dollars, it wouldn’t be spent on trips to beaches, but instead on trips to the local brothel and drug dealer, but that’s not really worth dreaming about, because I don’t even remember the last time I had 1000 dollars to my name, but I think it was when I was 14 after spending a month working for some rich man on his garden, if you know what I mean…..and if you don’t, I mean I was a child hooker, much like a child star but far less rewarding and harder to walk.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Bikini|Miranda Kerr|Skinny

2009

20

Oct

Marisa Miller’s Hot Bikini Change of the Day

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They say this is Marisa Miller getting changed into a bikini during some Victoria’s Secret photoshoot, but it doesn’t really look like her, and since pics of any girl, especially a model, getting changed in public is what my voyeur dreams are made of, it doesn’t really matter whether they are of her or not, what does matter is that I get to take part in this joyous, hot and amazing moment from the comfort of my own couch without the awkwardness of having to casually pretend I’m not staring when I get caught for staring, I’m sure you know what I mean cuz you are a dude and it takes a very rare breed of man to stare at a girls tits drooling, we call that breed rapists because even the most perverted of us try to hide the fact that tits are all we care about….just like last week I was peeping on some college girl in her panties running around her apartment and she busted me and even though I was fully busted, I still had to pretend I was playing with my dog or picking up his shit on her lawn and had no idea she was there…..it is just encoded in our DNA or some shit…..

Here are the amazing pics….that turned out to be of Candice Swanepoel….but the ass shots could be Marisa Miller and really who cares…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Bikini|Change|Marisa Miller

2009

20

Oct

Britney Spears and her Hot Booty in a Bikini of the Day

8 Comments »

Britney Spears has one of those amazing round asses and it amazes me when I see that her boyfriend isn’t black. Sure, she had K-Fred for a while who thought he was black, but was really just a joke, the kind of wigger who proved hip hop entering the mainstream was a disaster because white trash everyone tried to bootleg the shit on a budget, while still being the racist hicks they always were, so it made for a really weird yet funny vibe when dudes who would have been dragging a black kid behind their pick-up trucks 10 years earlier, were trying to imitate them, dress like them and rap badly in efforts to be like them, sometimes even dating black girls and knocking them up to feel like the rappers they idolize, so he doesn’t count as an honorary black guy, he was a white trash Wal Mart version of a black dude at best, but he did do one thing right and that was make his bitch pay his motherfuckin’ way while he sat around playing video games and you can’t hate a brother for that….

Either way, here’s her ass in a bikini and I like it.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Booty|Britney Spears

2009

19

Oct

Katherine Heigl Plays With Marisa Miller’s Ass of the Day

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It looks like a fat Katherine Heigl has a new job that involves fixing Marisa Miller’s bikini for her photoshoots, unless that’s not a picture of Katherine Heigl at all, and is really just someone with the same diet as her, which I guess would make sense, because Heigl is the kind of bitch who wouldn’t get naked next to Marisa Miller’s insane body, for fear that she would make her look fat, without realizing that everything makes her look fat, because she is fat, and this is just some photo assistant, who doesn’t give a fuck about lookin’ as hot as Marisa Miller, but is just happy getting flown to beaches and getting paid for cunts like Marisa Miller to grace the pages of a magazine, proving that in her own way, she’s pretty much at the top of her game too and here are those pics…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Katherine Heigl|Marisa Miller

2009

16

Oct

Jenna Fischer Photoshopped Bikini Pics for Shape Magazine of the Day

17 Comments »

Here is the sloppy pussy that the creator of Spike’s shitty PG-PORN viral videos everyone gets hard over, despite them being as boring as his wife’s body in a bikini even when photoshopped for Shape Magazine…seriously, shit is on some Funny or Die kick that just isn’t funny, but people think is funny, because they think they are supposed to, when the fact is that he’s only doing it because he can make it in actual hollywood since his concepts are so shitty and the only gig he had was as a writer of such classics as Scooby-Doo 2: Monster’s Unleashed. He’s a bottom feeding nobody turning to the internet like he was one of us, when really he is just one of them but all that doesn’t really explain why he’s bottom feeding on this caliber of girl, when I’m sure he could swindle some shit and find a hot college girl he promises fame to, despite not having fame of his own, who will fall for his shit and who looks better than his wife’s bottom feeding pussy that you probably like cuz you are all into The Office since it reminds you of your shitty life….and that’s all I have to say about that.

Posted in:Bikini|Jenna Fischer

2009

16

Oct

Abigail Clancy in her Bikini for Pepsi of the Day

9 Comments »

In doing marketing right, Pepsi recruited some pretty decent pussy to wear her bikini in hopes of selling product, and that’s a win for me. Sure in America Pepsi and every other corporation is scared to upset the Christian fundamentalists by exploiting girls in their ads, even though they are are supposed to because it’s the oldest marketing trick in the fucking book and who refuse to advertise on my site because I post nudity but not on Playboy’s site because they are “premium” for some fucking reason we call being friends with the advertiser buyers and marketing execs, because America fucking sucks and isn’t about freedom, it’s about controlling the amount of pussy pictures we put out there because we can’t finance hiring a team of pussy posting perverts, you oppressive Jesus loving fucking cowboy pieces of shit.

Posted in:Abigail Clancy|Bikini

2009

13

Oct

Bar Refaeli in Her Bikini of the Day

6 Comments »

A Hebrew magazine in Tel Aviv just did a 6-page feature on me. Let’s hope Bar Refaeli is sitting in her luxury apartment by the beach, coming off a cocaine binge from last night, reading that magazine, because I think she should know about me and fall in love with my charming translated words, forcing her to masturbate to my pic then to haveher people call my people, even though I don’t have people, resulting in a first class ticket to Tel Aviv, where she will put her vagina on my face, to prove that Jewish girls don’t actually taste any different than non Jewish girls, unless they are smuggling money across borders in their vaginas during war, but I know if anything, she’ll probably ignore the article, making my whole Israeli takeover totally obsolete….and forgotten…..but what won’t be forgotten is her hot body in a bikini cuz pictures are fucking timeless and even in 20 years, you’ll be able to find these and jerk off and that’s kind of an amazing thing.

Posted in:Bar Refaeli|Bikini

2009

13

Oct

Naomi Campbell Bikini Pictures of the Day

6 Comments »

I am a little slow on this shit, because let’s face it, 40 year old cunts in bikinis aren’t really what I live for, unless they end in 40 year old sex tapes. If anything I find it almost comical when I see a 40 year old in a bikini. Maybe it’s got something to do with being raised in the late 70s and 80s, a time when the one-piece rand shit, but I think it’s got more to do with 40 year old women having shitty bodies, except maybe when they are genetically altered like Naomi Campbell where she’s all legs, no fat and all attitude thanks to a career of modeling that left her with an ego, a billionaire finance and the whitest lookin’ teeth against her black as night skin, in which case, I shouldn’t complain and just post the pictures….and that’s what I am going to do because knowing I spent 4 minutes writing about Naomi Campbell depresses me.

Pics via INFphoto and Bauer

Posted in:Bikini|Naomi Campbell

2009

08

Oct

Nicole Eggert is Fat and in her Bathing Suit of the Day

5 Comments »

So older and fatter Nicole Eggert made fun of herself by getting into a bikini for some Funny or Die bullshit that mocks her weight gain, because I guess her weight gain isn’t substantial enough to really laugh at, but in hollywood terms, it’s huge, even though she’s probably a lot more fit that girls you fuck, at least she’s a lot more fit that girls I fuck. IF she was really fat, she wouldn’t have survived the run to the water, she would have passed out or had an asthma attack, but I didn’t watch the whole thing, and expect that to be the joke behind the video, because let’s face it, that just the kind of obvious comedy Funny or Die produces.

The whole thing is stupid, and trust me, I am the first to shit on fat chicks, because I fucking hate fat chicks. I even hate on girls with eating disorders that just aren’t good enough at starving themselves to have a perfect skeletal body, but when someone who has little talent who was on Baywatch retires with all her Baywatch money, I expect her to spend it eating and not working out, because she’s hit her peak and now she’s ready to enjoy life. Just leave the bitch alone, focus on someone who is actually relevant, but more importantly, fat enough that we wouldn’t fuck ’em.

Posted in:Bikini|Nicole Eggert

2009

07

Oct

Hilary Rhoda Bikini Pictures from Twitter of the Day

2 Comments »

Twitter is really a waste of time. It’s a whole lot of fucking noise. Just people writing bullshit no one cares about, but who people seemingly care about, cuz they sign-up to a motherfucker’s useless information feed. I figure that world has e nough distractions and I don’t need to know little quirky, often times boring, snippets of people I don’t know’s life.
I don’t help with my Twitte behavior because I just write total fucking nonsense that comes to me when I am living my seriously menial life. I mean observations I don’t even remember an hour after I see the shit, but I post the shit because it’s almost an obligation to the 2 people who read my twiiter shit, like I have some kind of audience to impress, like twitter is some kind of virtual stage, which it isn’t.

The issue is that I write bullshit on the internet all day, it’s the job I gave myself 5 years ago and sure I suck at it, but I have a lot of practice, and that almost gives me reason to use the shit cuz I am accustomed to polluting people’s lives with real drivel, like this post for example, and even I don’t see the point….

All that Twitter has to offer is for fans of models, celebrities, pornstars to get the inside scoop in their lives, to put the tabloids to rest, while giving the fans the feeling of being able to interact with them.

When I started the site, celebrities, models and pornstars weren’t accessible. Their emails and phone numbers secret. They didn’t interact with us or tell us what they were eating, doing, watching on TV and we drew our own conclusions about them and I preferred that cuz now I have no choice but to seriously hate these bitches, when before their was a glimmer of hope that they were cool behind the way they were marketed.
So this model Hilary Rhoda is using Twitter the way a lot of the attention whores are and that’s the one single okay thing about twitter I can’t hate, and that’s thru posting half naked pics, these happen to be behind the scenes from her SI photoshoots….

Posted in:Bikini|Hilary Rhoda