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Archive for the Bikini Category

2008

12

Aug

I am – Not Posting the Selena Gomez Bikini Pictures of the Day

There are pictures of Selena Gomez running around in her bikini that I am not going to be posting today because I saw them and instantly thought pedophile. She looks 12 and I got no business or interest catering to you sick fucks who get off to this shit. I talk about teenager girls, teenage pregnancy and hanging out with teenage girls, but they are all 18 for the most part and the ones who aren’t have bodies that would make you think they are. Maybe it’s growth hormones in the food, or maybe it’s just their big, perky tits, but I meet them all in bars and they aren’t weird tools of corporations used to seduce other teenage girls and family men who society consider wholesome family people but are just jerking off to the memories of their 14 year old daughter’s friends at last week’s pool party, because 14 year olds wear bikinis now and when I was 14 it was one-piece all the fuckin’ way, and because their youth brings back memories of everything they missed out on and ideas of a tight fertile pussy instead of the tired old catcher’s mitt they married…..

Either way, Selena Gomez is having sex with Miley Cyrus’ Jonas brother and they are at teenage girl war, all while pretending to be little virgins waiting to be married, which is the biggest joke on Disney, because we all know your fucking lie and we all know it’s just a strategy to make a truckload of money and I am tired of the lies, I find it undermining to today’s youth when who deserve the truth so they media influence is at least an honest one instead of this brainwashing fantasy shit that is fucking with the normal cycle of experimenting by turning girls prude, so that teenage dudes who want to get their first blowjob, get their first blowjob instead of getting rejection that could lead them into some kind of 40 year old virgin comic book/porn addicts who end up shooting up their school before shooting themselves, fucking up adolescents and in turn ruining the world.

Disney has a responsibility to be honest and deal with issues in an honest way, instead of denouncing teenage sex they should celebrate it in the public as much as they do as the producers cum in these girl’s faces behind closed doors. They should not throw the slutty behavior in the trash like it was one of the girls abortions and should just be straight up about the fact that they make girls grew up too fast and pretend they are ideal Christians while they have an abortion clinic on set and they should just treat these girls they are trying to make into idols like the whores that they are, the kind that you wouldn’t even talk to if you went to school with them because of the stench of cum and fetus dripping down their leg is gross, instead of waiting the 10 years it is going to take for them to fall apart, before they release the tell all book they wrote in rehab.

Point of all this is to say that I am already a target and blamed for perpetuating this shit. I am considered a rapist, pervert, pedophile, porn peddler with a Not Safe For Work Site. I can’t make money, get into events or cross the border with what I do and I am not going to get myself in more trouble or go to jail by getting on some pedophile list for pictures I don’t even think are hot.

The good news is that there are plenty other sites out there who disguise themselves as Safe For Work and make 200,000 dollars a month on stolen names posting it for you….and she looks fucking young in the pictures so the fact that you even wanna see this shit is messed up to me and this is coming from someone who has sex with 16 year olds.

Anyway, I am not posting the shit, but I will link to them GO

Posted in:Bikini|Selena Gomez

2008

11

Aug

Kate Bosworth Bikini Pictures of the Day

[ Images removed in compliance with DMCA Notice ]

Kate Bosworth is pretty skinny for an American and should be given more credit for it, instead of abuse for being an anorexic. This is the kind of thinspiration all you fat fucks need so that you stop eating. Now, I don’t find her all that hot to look at and I never did because she pretty much has no sex appeal, but it’s nicer to look at than the shit I’ve seen sitting by the pool on my trips to the USA.

Now, I don’t travel all that much, or ever for that matter but I got a call on Sunday morning from this 18 year old girl who doesn’t have her driver’s license and who wanted to go to Vermont for the afternoon to shop and she needed a driver. Now, I don’t know why she called me to take her because I barely know her and I could have raped and killed her for all she knew, but since I had nothing better to do, I decided to go for the road trip. I showed up at her house, only to find that I’d be driving her dad’s BMW across the border and got nervous knowing that I am a Mexican with a sketchy past, that I was driving an expensive car despite being unemployed, that I was with an 18 year old girl who was 20 years younger than me and most importantly that I was only driving into Burlington for about 3 hours before turning around and coming back, but went anyway, because we all need adventure in our lives….

For the first hour, I kept telling the girl my concern about the border and that Americans will not like this whole situation and she kept telling me to tell the Border dude we were going to a confirmation or wedding and when I got to the border I felt like I was going to get arrested, I hate authority and I hate being in these situations and I panicked. I pulled up to the wicket window and these tough guy who though he was in the Iraq war and liked his power position and used it to intimidate my already nervous self asked me why I was going to the USA. I told him that I had dinner plans and instead of ending it there, decided to add “with friends” to make it more believable despite the smart side of my brain telling me not to. Now, the terminator found driving to the States to have dinner with friends a little strange, especially coming from a Mexican with an 18 year old in a BMW and as I was beating myself up for saying that I was meeting friends, he decided to ask me what my friend’s names were. I froze. I didn’t have an answer and I just stared at him blankly, while he got more and more aggressive, and started asking me about my job, why the car had damage on it, how much I make a month and then he got out and searched the fuckin’ car, asked me to pull over and brought me inside to search me. They asked me what my site was, there was no way in hell I was telling them that it was DrunkenStepfather because I feel like some of the shit I do on here is illegal and ended up spending 2 hours at the border before they agreed to let me in after jumpin through all the hoops and leading them to believe that I am not a drug dealer or terrorist, which I am not.

I guess the point of this story is really that there is no point, but once in Burlington, I walked into a store that was selling 12 packs of M&Ms for $2 and all kinds of other disgusting junk food that would make my wife cum more than I ever have, which in all honesty isn’t that hard because I was never one for worrying about making my woman cum and more into making myself cum. I also saw some fat bitches who made my wife look skinny sitting by an above ground pool at some trailer park campground and I felt like I was in heaven, a miserable heaven but heaven nonetheless.

Either way, here’s Bosworth in her bikini….

UPDATE – I forgot to mention that there was chicken breast, a bottle of wine and a box of sex toys in the car to make the whole border experience even more awkward than me hearing myself tell the border guard that I was meeting up with friends like an idiot. Not that you care, but since this is a blog I want to make sure I keep my diary in order so that when I look back on it in 20 years, to remind myself why I should never be a criminal, I’ll have all my facts in order….

Posted in:Bikini|Kate Bosworth

2008

11

Aug

Abbie Cornish in a Bikini of the Day

Her name is Abbie Cornish and she’s some slut actress from Australia who managed to be in some movie called Stop-Loss starring Ryan Phillippe and while in that movie used her vagina to seduce this broken down divorcee who was in desperate need for a replacement for his ugly wife and fell for her. Maybe it was love at first sight, but I like to believe it was social climbing, because I don’t believe in love and noticed on her IMDB page that her latest move role is a love story that she is a main character in and the man she’s in love with is played by Ryan Phillippe. Maybe it’s a coincidence, but I don’t really believe in that shit, so I am goin’ with slut with an agenda that I am fallin’ into by posting this photo op because I am as easy to seduce as a desperate, lonely divorcee and all you really have to do is send me pictures of you in a bikini and you don’t actually have to have sex with me, because I wouldn’t really want to put anyone through that kind of abuse, no matter how much I hate you or how much I like fucking.

UPDATE – I was emailed that Abbie Cornish is the reason Ryan Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon got the divorce and she wasn’t preying on a man going through a divorce, but a man with a wife and kids, by showing him her vagina that hasn’t made 3 kids. Homewreckin’ is just as easy as seducing a desperate lonely man going through a divorce, so despite having the facts wrong, the point of the post is the same, and that point is that this Lohan lookin’ slut is nothing but a slut.

Posted in:Abbie Cornish|Bikini|Ryan Phillippe|Uncategorized

2008

08

Aug

Rob Schneider and Some Slut in a Bikini of the Day

The fascinating thing about Rob Schneider is that he defies the stereotype that girls will throw themselves at anyone famous. Before Rob Schneider hit the scene, girls would fuck anyone they thought was more important than they were, no matter what level of fame the motherfucker had, they would throw their vaginas at the him, even if the motherfucker was a DJ or Promoter at a local club, was on a shitty TV commercials, had an extra role on Friends 12 years ago, or if he’s on the local fuckin’ news waving in the backround when they are doing something on location and dude just happens to be strollin’ by, a girl somewhere will find that hot enough to fuck, because people are all fucking groupies, and the TV is like a stamp of fucking approval, but for some reason when Rob Schneider enters a room, everyone turns away in disappointment because they all know he has money but that he’s embarrassing and a fuckin’ joke and being in the same place as him means they are in the wrong place, so these pictures of him are with paid actors on set somewhere, and not with a girl trying to wallet fuck him, because no one has that little self esteem, are really the funniest aspect of his “comedy career”.

PS – I have a fever so if what I write makes no sense, it’s cuz I am dying, ya fuckin’ Pervert.

Posted in:Bikini|Rob Scheider|Slut

2008

08

Aug

Brooke Hogan Bikini of the Day

Brooke Hogan looks more like she’s on her way to wrestle a bear for a group of Russian soldiers who are already drunk off vodka and in the mood to see a big burly woman’s strength before gang raping her, because when a woman can fight off a bear, she should theoretically be able to fight off 20 men with erections, and if she loses, then she gets dicked, and a lot less like Florida Trailer Park Trash,

I assume she got plastic surgery in hopes of looking more like the girl his dad’s done gone off with, leaving her all alone and scared while feeling undesirable as both her career and family life fall the fuck apart and daddy won’t make her feel nice in her special place like he has done all these years, because he’s found a new Blonde young chick to bang and who is more socially acceptable to bang than bangin his daughter.

It reminds me of a 70’s porn I used to watch to lift my spirits called “Sharon”. It was a story of a girl who was jealous that her dad was fucking her hotter sister, leading her to lose her virginity with a man who picked her up while hitchiking, and her dad to continue to fuck the hotter sister comparing her pussy to her mother’s and other twisted shit that touched on themes of inadequacy and parental approval, incest and sexual disovery that made it almost Academy Award worthy, if only it wasn’t shot on the first ever video camera ever made and if only it wasn’t porn, shit would have had a whole different impact on the world than it has.

I wish I could find a copy of that movie, it was a classic that never got the recognition it deserved, unlike Brooke Hogan, who is pretty much the opposite and for the slow ones out there, that means she’s trash that got more airtime than she ever deserved.

Either way, check out Brooke Hogan’s tits and ball bulge in her white pants on the beach….

PS – I have a fever so if what I write makes no sense, it’s cuz I am dying, ya fuckin’ Pervert.

Posted in:Bikini|Brooke Hogan

2008

08

Aug

Audrina at Some Pool Party in Her Bikini of the Day

I am sick and just woke up from my nap of death, unfortunately for you, whatever virus is raping me hasn’t killed me yet and I feel obliged to fuckin’ post useless pictures you have probably already seen because I am a creature of fucking habit.

I don’t find Audrina hot at all. Her mangled retard face reminds me of the time this drug addicted bitch, who coincidentally looked a lot like Audrina’s sister with all those stupid fucking tattoos that don’t manage to cover up the fact that she’s fucking ugly, but do distract us from noticing just how fucking ugly she is, kinda the same strategy Audrina uses in working out and getting fake tits,……I forgot where I was going with this….but I do know that Audrina in her retard state doesn’t know where the fuck she is and she’s turning to her sister to help her, like she did as a baby and couldn’t grasp the concept of what a fucking toilet was.

I also know that I would rather be at a pool party staring at hot bodied pussy, than dying on my shitty fucking couch.

Posted in:Audrina|Bikini|Pool Party

2008

07

Aug

DeAnna Pappas and Jesse Csincsak Wash Their Expensive Car of the Day

< Here are the power couple from The Bachelorette pretending that they aren't contractually obliged to stay with each other because if they were to break up the legitimacy of the staged reality TV show would go down the fuckin' toilet. I've already expressed my opinion on the show and how The Bachelorette is just a slut and fucks multiple men and thinks it's okay because it's on TV and it is not at all realistic at all because if 20 dudes I knew were fucking the same chick and living in the same house, they would probably kill each other. For the most part, dudes generally don't mind fucking their friend's girlfriends when they are horny and drunk, but don't like sharing the bitch they are trying to win over. Maybe bi-sexuality is part of the criteria of getting up on the show and it is just a massive penis heavy orgy and everyone lives happily ever after, but it doesn't matter, because that shit is on TV, teaching our youth to be whores and I am reaping the benefits by appreciating the new generation of whores it helped produce. Either way I decided to research the dude because I was curious whether he was rich and the car was his or if it was just provided by the network to make the pot more desirable so they don't slip up on the staged love they found. It turns out he is a pro-snowboarder and by pro snowboarder I mean a dude who managed to join the competitions but hardly makes money off the shit because here are his stats:

2007-2008
â–ª 654th for Half Pipe
2006-2007
â–ª 458th for Half Pipe
â–ª 1016th in Snowboard Cross
2005-2006
â–ª 194th for Half Pipe
â–ª 842nd in Snowboard Cross
2004-2005
â–ª 173rd for Half Pipe
â–ª 949th in Snowboard Cross
2003-2004
â–ª 383rd for Half Pipe
â–ª 615th in Snowboard Cross
2002-2003
â–ª 651st in Snowboard Cross

His professional snowboard career is a fucking joke and he is hardly fucking pro. These stats are insanely horrible and don’t land you a fuckin’ pay check or sponsorship deal unless it’s from your local shop. This is the kind of wishful thinking that makes you pay the pro snowboarding association the annual fees because it helps you pick chicks up at the ski hill you teach at. The retarded kid I saw at the ski hill just north of here on some integration ski trip who was probably snowboarding for the first time and struggling down the bunny hill and falling on his face while masturbating took more skill that this motherfucker is packin’. Even I am a better snowboarder than this and I’ve only done it about 5 times because I live in Canada and for 6 months there’s pretty much nothing else to do and I weigh 300 pounds.

Seeing these staged pics of them washing their car in their bathing suits is a lot less offensive than this asshole calling himself a pro, but it is possible that they aren’t staged because based on DeAnna’s reputation, she never turns down the opportunity to play with a hose, even when it’s not attached to a man. If you know what I mean.

Posted in:Bikini|DeAnna Pappas|Jesse Csincsak

2008

07

Aug

Kim Kardashian’s Bikini Pictures of the Day

I get a lot of hate because of this bitch and that in and of itself is enough for me to hate her more than I already do. I have been called jealous becaue I have called her useless, lazy, rich kid who is a Paris Hilton copycat who manged to tricked the world into wanting her on TV, making her enough money to buy herself a Bentley, and the entire time I’ve said she’s fat and ugly and people have called me shallow, crazy and gay because if I find this fat I must hate real women even though 80 percent of girls I know aren’t as fat as this tank. I have also been labeled a racist because I say shit like only black guys would fuck an ass like that and that she only dates black dudes cuz their dicks are the only ones that can make their way in past her shitty pussy to bump against her g-spot. I have called her the black man’s urinal and said her sex tape is like watching the animal planet channel and for the record I stand by all I have said about this dumpy attention seeking whore.

Here is Kim Kardashian showing off her fat body in a bikini in some staged lookin’ photos.

Posted in:Bikini|Kim Kardashian|Pictures

2008

06

Aug

Pink in a Bikini Top on Set of Her New Music Video of the Day

I am struggling today and I realize it. My computer has the Aids virus because it is used and belonged to a gay dude who probably had sex with it everynight he owned it and that is probably the reason I got it for such a good price. If he is still out there, these Pink pictures may help him cum even though they aren’t helping me. I assume Pink is like a Gay Icon and is inspiring men who feel like women on the inside to go through with wearing those panties they’ve been prancing around the house in all these years out in public or to take those heels they love so much out during the day….

The only thing I hope is that at the end of this music video she’s shooting, she pulls out her balls just to show us how punk rock she actually is, because when girls look like this, they usually come with a set of balls and if anything should be inspiration to the guys out there who are not getting laid, that life could be a lot worse and they could be stuck in a relationship to something like this.

That’s all the bad posting I’ve got in me for now…..today is killing me.

Posted in:Bikini|Music Video|Pink

2008

06

Aug

Liz McClarnon in Some Bikini Pics of the Day

I don’t know when these pictures were taken, which isn’t that big of a deal considering I have no idea who this bitch is. I do know that I post any bikini picture sent into me because I really don’t know what else to talk about on the site.

I could write about the 3 fat British girls who probably grew up on Atomic Kitten that I saw at the strip club. They weren’t lesbians and they weren’t really into the whole experience and they weren’t with dudes, but for some reason they were at a fucking stripclub. When I asked them if they were trying to learn moves for the drunk boys they bring home in an act of desperation on both parts, so that they wouldn’t think they were virgins, they looked at me in disgust, when I offered them 5 dollars a song instead of the professional fee of 10 dollars a song, they told me to fuck off and changed seats. It was too bad, because having girls next to me on pervert row, right next to the pole made me feel like more of a camp counselor than the sick fuck that I am….

But I’d rather just post pictures of some chick I’ve never heard of in her life jacket…

Posted in:Bikini|Liz McClarnon