SFW Archives - Page 31 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2020

27

Jan

Elizabeth Hurley Straddling the Pool of the Day

Elizabeth Hurley doesn’t look like herself, but I guess that is what happens when you get your face jacked up enough with fillers, you end up looking like Sharon Osbourne, who actually looks better than ever despite being in her 70s, because this whole fucking BOTOX thing is weird.

Not as weird as the fact that Liz Hurley has her son shooting her bikini fetish porn for her fans, you know it’s always weird when a mother rubs her cunt on the side of the pool until she reaches orgasm, like one of those pillow humping fetish videos all over the internet, because you’re all a bunch of perverts into the female self discovery of an orgasm, only this female’s too old for orgasms and at that point where you gotta get weird to cum, like making eye contact with your son who you think is beautiful because he came out of you, and it’s so wrong to have him come back into you….making it all the more exciting.

There’s a reason incest porn is the number one thing people are into on the porn tube sites. You all want to fuck your family. So maybe Liz Hurley is just the creepy norm. Creepy Norm….should be the name of a character on the internet like they do with Karens, Beckys and Chads…

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Posted in:Elizabeth Hurley|SFW

2020

27

Jan

Ekaterina Zueva Nude Photoshoot of the Day

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Ekaterina is some titty model at least that is what I assume she is because her titties are out, but upon further investigation I have learned that she’s also a blogger, because blogging transitioned from being some nerd who posts nerd shit like girls in slutty photos, to being people who post to social media with captions about their open and honest curated glimpse into their lives.

She is from Russia, which would explain her audience and the fake numbers, you see because instagram is fucking fake.

In 2015, she was cast in The Man from U.N.C.L.E in a small role, which is either pretty impressive, or a sign that instagram girls who get half naked are better suited to act that people who have gone to acting school and would die for a bit role in ANYTHING. Sucks to be them, they should go back to the drawing board and pull their damn tits out.

Her bio also says she’s a part time model, a full time Yogi and she lives in Bali…where she promotes Energy Drinks and in her part time modeling she’s managed to pull them titties out….because I guess when you only commit a few minutes of modeling a month because you don’t need to fuck with that now that you’ve made that money….you might as pull the tits out and that’s just what she’s doing.

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Posted in:Ekaterina Zueva|SFW

2020

27

Jan

Courtney Stodden Pussy Print of the Day

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Courtney Stodden’s rocking a pussy that looks like Homer Simpson’s mouth in this tight bathing suit bottom that she’s in to celebrate her recent divorce from the man who basically created her as the tabloid fodder and sex worker she always was, but that she really came into herself on an international level with the help of legit porn companies and the media.

These fat pussy lips so fat in their cameltoe glory that you’d almost mistake her for being a tranny with one of those pussy definition inserts in her bikini bottoms… A PRODUCT THAT GOT MY AMAZON AFFILIATE BANNED WHEN I TRIED PROMOTING IT LAST YEAR ….they decided I was a porn site when I was just promoting their weirdness.

The best thing about Stodden, despite seemingly having been in the media for over a decade and looking like a fucking trainwreck mom at the stripclub getting money for her crack addiction…is that she’s only 25….I have no idea how that is possible since she looks 45…I mean even Sharon Osborne at the Grammys looks better than this…but I guess that’s part of her charm….that and her fat pussy lips.

I’m a fan.

Here she is with her PUG

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Posted in:Courtney Stodden|SFW

2020

27

Jan

Bebe Rexha Got Them Tits Out of the Day

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The Grammys happened last night, so all the “it” and “try hards” in the music industry spent the weekend attending all the important industry events, and one of those Try Hards was Bebe Rexha, the Albanian who unlike the other Albanians (Rita Ora and Dua Lipa) who are taking over the music industry slowly because I guess Albanians like to sing and dance for money from white people, this one’s from America.

She presented an award with Shania Twain, Canada’s home and native son, and as it turns out Bebe Rexha was not nearly as fat as I thought she was. Maybe she’s on some weightloss kick, maybe she was never fat and I wrongfully pegged her as a fat chick with small tits. Anything is possible when you are as useless as me at reporting facts.

She is the girl that Pete Wentz built up to be some Emo rocker before becoming an accomplished song writer and now rocking her own budding pop career, taken seriously as an artist by those white people Albanians like to sing and dance for money from….and she’s out keeping her name in the press as it is part of her marketing using her tits. Cleavage…nature’s easiest marketing tool.

Are the tits good? I don’t know if they really have to be in order to be effective.

Here are her tits at the pre grammy party

Here are her tits behind mesh at the Grammy Awards

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Posted in:Bebe Rexha|SFW

2020

27

Jan

Cassie Scerbo Titty Shake of the Day

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Cassie Scerbo was a member of an all girl pop band called SLUMBER PARTY GIRLS which also happens to be the name of my memoir and all a series of Larry Flynt produced porn from the 80s.

She’s 29 now, so it’s been a while since she was exploited by Disney for their Slumber Party erotica they produced in part for the kids, or to monetize off kids who bought into it and in part to satisfy the fantasies of the execs. You know you gotta love your work to be inspired. You know what they say doing what you love means you never work a day in your life….

She’s also been in the Sharknado series, so you know she’s a series fucking actor and here she is grabbing her big jiggly tit for some Tom Green looking motherfucker which is some of her best work. Which isn’t saying much but it’s saying her tits can carry her performances.

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Posted in:Cassie Scerbo|SFW

2020

24

Jan

Selena Gomez Sucking it In of the Day

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A Tale of Selena Gomez Tits of the Day

Selena Gomez’s tits are pretty interesting, because they just miraculous got bigger over the last year. Maybe it’s her new Anti-Depressant she’s been raving about after a year or two of being in and out of rehab, because being a rich and entitled brat with everything she ever wanted is rough when you’ve also got a terminal disease, so you gotta power through it…..Maybe it’s the PILL you know it gets some girls bustier…or maybe its just implants because when you feel down and out on yourself you can always spend 5k on a new set of tits to think people will finally love you for you….even if they are just there for the silicon sacs you had put up inside you because you don’t fear dying…you’ve already got that Kidney Transplant and LUPUS, how bad could a leaking silicon sac really be….

Point being, Selena Gomez has titties now, and it’s brought a whole new layer to her annoying existence…a titty layer…the only layer the world needs and she’s already learning party tricks with her tits….life of the party tricks as far as I’m concerned. I mean if you get the tits, you might as well learn how to do stunts with the tits….like getting a brand new yoyo…but better!

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Posted in:Selena Gomez|SFW

2020

24

Jan

Bella Thorne Wet Tits of the Day

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Bella Thorne still out here with her tits out, because why not, what the fuck else is she supposed to do with her time.

It’s not like she got the fake tits to not showcase her tits, unless these are real tits, in which case, it’s not like she’s not going to show off her tits every chance she gets like nature intended for her….I mean it would be a waste if she didn’t sexualize herself like some basic instagram influencer or youtuber, that this idiot emulates despite being an actual working actress because she grew up in a fucking bubble, but had access to interet, where she watched the same people the other people of her generation watched and emulated, making them all the fucking same, with all the same dumb expressions, making her this weird hybrid influencer….who offsets the annoying with her tits, like most / all influencers.

Hard to hate her, except for the whole ginger thing, that’s easy to hate.

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Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2020

24

Jan

Madison Beer Suffocating her TIts of the Day

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Someone call 911….a murder is happening here. That one tit is getting taken the fuck out, flattened angrily by it’s owner’s aggressive dress…we’re about to have an Ariel Winter situation up in here…where the tit get amputated thanks to body dysmorphia of the broken girl who has been a puppet for her parent’s dreams of stardom….leaving them broken, confused, unsure what real love is, since the only love they knew from their parents was conditional to their stardom, success and good behavior…where they were sexualized at young ages to older men who either watched their youtubes to boost their numbers or got them jobs…the whole thing so sick…this is her self harming protest…some people cut themselves, some people put elastic bands on their limbs in hope they fall off, this girl does it with tight dresses…

It’s a cry for help. Save her….

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Posted in:Madison Beer|SFW

2020

24

Jan

Lily Rosenthal is Somebody Feed Phil’s Slutty Daughter of the Day

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I know what you’re thinking every time you watch SOMEBODY FEED PHIL’s netflix show, and that is “I wonder if he’s got a slutty daughter I can jerk off to” because you think that about everyone you see or meet, but also because you like to fantasize about how good Phil would be as a father in law, you know with that Everybody Loves Raymond money that he is STILL making, even though you always hated the show….it paid the fuck out…it was the 90s…these things happened….and when Phil won the lottery he debatably didn’t deserve with his show….she was cumming up inside whoever this one’s mom is…and now she’s old enough for you to come up inside whatever receptacle you have in your house while looking into her eyes cuz you’re romantic like that…its of those everything comes full circle things…circle of life things.

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Posted in:Lily Rosenthal|SFW

2020

24

Jan

Maya Hawke is her Underwear in a Magazine of the Day

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Maya Hawke, who is more interesting when she has her TITS OUT IN A MAGAZINE because she’s got tits, is on the self promotion tour, doing magazines like Madame Figaro where she talks about her struggles of getting her start in the entertainment industry. You know, cold calling and waiting in line at castings with thousands of other girls, while working a full time job at a restaurant to be able to afford her rent.

One of those struggles until she gets her break thanks to meeting the right person in her living in LA, and that person is actually two people, and they are her MOM AND DAD…..Uma Thurman and Ethan Hawke.

Hollywood loves to be an incestuous, insular, keep it in the family kind of place and I’m actually fine with that. Acting requires no fucking skill, so might as well give these kids some sense of purpose, otherwise they’d just be rich and lazy, this way they can be rich and lazy but pretend they work. They need that. Society needs that.

I think giving acting work to people who train their entire life in their shitty hometowns, despite being poor, is a crazy concept even if they are hotter and better, they don’t the lifestyle man and thus are outsider trash and must remain that way, especially since they can just give the jobs to people they know.

If you don’t like it, make your own damn movie asshole.

Posted in:maya hawke|SFW

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