DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2021

14

Jan

Hunter King Big Tits in a Bra of the Day

Hunter King is Joey King’s busty sister who has a far less substantial career than Joey King, but she’s still on TV and thus famous enough for me to stare at her fat girl tits in her bra in whatever show this is on..

She seems to be a Soap Opera Star, who has been on The Young and the Restless for the last 8 or 9 years, she’s 27, so that’s basically half her fucking life, and since Soap Operas are pornos for old ladies to masturbate to, I assume they are more hardcore than they once were to keep that audience engaged, despite being on Daytime TV, I mean they have a lot of PORN to compete with thanks to the internet…and I may still find it weird that women like watching porn, but they like watching porn and don’t need to jack off to badly produced mainstream but porn looking daytime TV….

Luckily, we aren’t old ladies, so we can just stare at the soap star tits in a bra and forget that being a Soap Star is as low level an actor you can be, besides porn….whether she’s won the Daytime Emmy twice or not…she could clearly do better…because being the best amongst the worst when your sister is norminated for Golden Globe awards, is hardly something to brag about…and with tits like this, at least tits like this in a bra, cuz tits like this could definitely fall the fuck apart out of the bra can take you to FAR better places…like OnlyFans where the real money is…
but for now, this is what we’ve got.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Hunter King

2021

14

Jan

Asshole Behind Thong Thursday of the Day

No Comments »

It’s Asshole Behind Thong Thursday where I sit and wonder if the girls showing off their assholes are intentionally showing off their assholes or is that just the side effect of the thong design, you know it’s underwear, but it only covers 10 percent of your anus, so that if you’ve got a sloppy anus from injury or ‘roids, you’re shit out of luck, that discharge is hitting your pants…

Cleary the thong not covering an asshole in full is by design, you know some dude likely invented the thong to give girls complexes about pantylines and other things men don’t actually care about, so that in a panic of fitting in, they swap out all the old to bring in the new….that patriarchy is manipulative and I guess bitches are too weak to protest trends…

But the thong selfie, that doubles as an asshole flash, is clearly more about the asshole than the thong, otherwise their asses wouldn’t be spread so you can see the asshole.

I don’t know why the asshole gets so much love, since it’s where shit comes from, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t licked an asshole…

I used to say a hot girl was “Hot to trot, but she still had to squat” which I guess meant, despite being hot, she still shits, making her a little too “real” to me…so maybe showing the asshole is like baring your soul so that the people seeing your asshole have seen all of you.

I don’t know, but these are thongs and the assholes those thongs barely cover.

(more…)

Posted in:Asshole Behind Thong

2021

14

Jan

Ireland Baldwin Leggings of the Day

No Comments »

I’ve done way too many posts on Ireland Baldwin over the years and I say the same thing in all of them…because I am a professional Ireland Baldwin documentarian…

Here’s the top 5 things to say when doing

1- She’s 7 feet tall and a Monster

2- Her dad called her a pig as a child so she’s been trying to redeem herself all these years by trying to be something other than a pig.

3- She was quick on instagram and had potential, because no one could tell she was 7 feet tall thanks to angles and perspective camera tricks, but instead of going viral with all her access and money, she managed to end up in rehab a dozen times while her hotter cousin, who is equally masculine, just not as monstrous went onto marry Bieber and is now a legit personality.

4 – Her dad is still disappointed with her, maybe because she’s turned to lame ass porn that isn’t porn on instagram, sexualizing herself, and I guess showcasing her big ass that will make even big porn dick look small…and make your non existent dick look even more non existent..he’s so disappointed he married a fake Spanish chick and had 10 fake Spanish babies cuz she’s a weirdo breeder gold digger biting into Ireland’s inheritance as her dad watches cuz he doesn’t want her getting shit….

5- She’s a celebrity kid with very famous celeb parents but apparenly that’s not enough to not suck…but I guess she’s rich, has a trust fund, and this weirdness, trying to be hot and sexual is just something to do when she doesn’t have to do shit, cuz she’s a celebrity kid…

I think my top 5 list could have been better, I guess this is why I don’t work at Buzzfeed.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Ireland Baldwin

2021

14

Jan

Cayley King See Through of the Day

No Comments »

You gotta wonder why this Cayley King has a hysterectomy scar….or maybe it’s from a C-Section…you know getting knocked up and selling those babies to finance your instagram model dreams…you just need the right level of rich dudes to cum in you and that’s probably easier than actually trying to do good things to get you notoriety…it’s a society of lazy as shit….why bother working at something when you can take a selfie and get more money, attention, hype in a solid three minutes…

You also gotta wonder if her lips are real, or did she jack them up to match that BILL COSBY nose…..that’s only racist if you read that racist…BILL COSBY has a wide fucking nose….the fact I have to walk you through this like a retard is ridiculous…it’s not a race thing assholes..

Anyway, we are in an era where all these people are jacking themselves up because it’s normalized, but not getting the nose jobs they may need….Not that I am pro plastic surgery, it’s just a how do you decide to go with lips while keeping nose, or did she just photoshop herself weirdly…it is the internet and she is an IG whore

More importantly, how are these two pics the same person? I guess it’s the angles which along with plastic surgery, photoshop, is key to the IG lie…BITCH knows her angle.

You may wonder who this is, I guess her claim to fame was fucking Cindy Crawford’s son…Lupus Gerber or whatever the fuck his name is, I mean they probably just call him the dude who they keep catching sniffing Kaia’s panties…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Cayley King

2021

14

Jan

Tanline Thursday of the Day

No Comments »

You may not be allowed to leave your house, but is that really all that bad, I mean even when you’re a broke ass loser who lives in a basement apartment that smells like death and obese wife…it’s still better than going to fucking work…

Not to mention, you can still hop on the plane and take advantage of those COVID prices that are probably 25% of what they once were when there was no travel…not that you travel, but you get what I am saying, there are options…

Or you can be like me and just stare at chicks who are hotter than chicks I’d normally be staring out without them calling the police on me, showing off their tanlines…one of those side effects of laying out in the sun…or I guess they have friends with a spray tan machine who used to spray tan all the strippers before stripping was banned.

Point being, Tanlines will survive COVID, and here are tanlines to jack off to.

(more…)

Posted in:Tanlines

2021

14

Jan

Jenny Mollen Topless of the Day

No Comments »

Jenny Mollen is Jason Bigg’s wife, that’s basically the only reason she existed, but I guess there was a time before having his kids and being the celeb wife where she had big dreams of her own to get that stardom she wanted, but realized it’s easier to marry a guy who probably made 100 million dollars off the American Pie movies, they were fucking huge…

I mean to get all the perks of celebrity without actually making it just requires rooking in these idiot, oftentime loser dudes, with some attention and dick sucking….

There are many ladies out there, from Amber Heard to even in your own backyard, that know how to manipulate men because they are babbling idiots into tits, and this is one of those people…

Now, I have no idea why her and her BFF Chelsea Handler post these topless pics on their social media, I guess they get a thrill, or like their tits, or maybe she still craves that celebrity instead of just being a celebrity wife…and calling Jason Biggs a Celebrity made me laugh when I was typing it out….

BUT I will say, girls taking topless pics for no reason, even if they are old moms like this, are helping move society in the right direction…because I want to see everyone’s tits, even with dumb emojis for nipples, which is probably her doing us a favor, she’s a mom, but also her being cheeky, safe for instagram so long as there aren’t nipples, it’s the gateway, soft nude that gives you a sense of going on, without giving us the whole picture…

But that in and of itself is some cocktease bullshit, if you’re going jump, fucking jump, this is not any less porny without her nipples, if anything it is just something to hate her for….

The real question is, does she think she looks hot with her mom abs, her no hips, her weird ass belly button….or is she a half retard who is like “LOOK MY TITS LOL LOL LOL”…who knows, but it is disappointing!

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Jenny Mollen

2021

14

Jan

Rihanna Lingerie of the Day

No Comments »

Rihanna is a winner!

I am pretty sure that she’s just had her breakout year as a far as being a lingerie vendor, not that she didn’t have help, but that’s the whole point, take your celebrity, partner with the best around, make a stupid amount of money, because you can….not because you need it…Rihanna was set for life 15 years ago….all this is just fucking bonus…

But yeah, they came out aggressive with their marketing, basically squashed Victoria’s Secret, with some MADE IN CHINA shit that is inclusive and perfect for strippers, fat chicks, and whoever the fuck else is into buying what they are told to buy from celebrities…

I am SURE they made a fucking fortune, which is why they are already onto Valentine’s Day, 1 month in advance, because when you have a Lingerie Company you make that money during Christmas and Valentines Day, so get it as big as you cam, and to do that you need the star of the fucking show it is named after who I think is still hot despite being older, but I’ve always liked Rihanna and what she’s done with her career after getting her start as an underage sex worker in Barbados who found the right sucker to get a career out of….at least that’s the rumor…

But in an era with everyone being a sex worker, no longer a bad thing, running sex worker pyramid schemes, who all need Lingerie for their online sex work…I guess that shit pays off when you’re their sex worker outfitter…and I guess sex working idol because if the rumors are true, then Rihanna is the most successful sex worker in the history of time..

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Rihanna

2021

14

Jan

Rowan Blanchard Lingerie of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t know much, so I can’t really confirm or deny this behavior, but based on my experience of posting up pics of celebrity sluts for the last 16 or more years, I can say that there’s this weird breaking point for child stars, when they turn 18 or 19, that starts when they are 17….and that breaking point is that they start to post more provocative shit…

It’s been like this for a long fucking time and all these Disney kids at 17 start to show more skin, so that by 18 they can be full sexualized by the mainstream, and not just the hollywood perverts into that kind of thing…it’s weird.

It’s weird because these people are conditioned and groomed at a young age to perform and deliver, and it’s hard to think that just because they turn 18, they all of a sudden can rebel and control their own brand, which for whatever reason becomes porny shit…

It’s pretty obvious that these are all handled and controlled people who can’t make their own decisions..

So when I see Rowan Blanchard trying to be a half nude “artist” hipster in Brooklyn, part of me thinks the industry has moved to OnlYFans and all these girls make more money selling nudes and paying 20 percent to an agency to DM dudes for them…

Why bother working when you can make 1,000,000 a month being half naked and in lingerie…which is logical…I mean if you want attention get naked, if you want clout get naked, getting naked is a big deal…

But I like to think there’s more strategy than just doing what’s easy, fun and that feels good because dudes jacking off to you validates you….I just don’t know what that “more strategy” really is…maybe a rebirth for a second career? Who knows, there’s just so much money in Hollywood, to think someone would throw away that win at a young age to post panty pics makes zero fucking sense…

Not that Rowan Blanchard was a big enough deal and even her slutty selfies are creepy as shit, but you get what I am saying,..it’s weird….not that I care, I prefer seeing all bitches nude.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Rowan Blanchard

2021

14

Jan

Titty Drop Thursday of the Day

No Comments »

No matter who the fuck you are, you can appreciate a good titty drop, it is the gamification of flashing tits, and apparently girls with hot tits are all about finding ways to show those tits off, because like anything in life, from dudes with big dicks, to girls with hot asses, it’s something worth showing off because people want to see it…

So now that everyone’s a pornographer, you’ve got girls who have fucked on dating apps being told how good their tits are, while knowing in their day job that people stare at their tits, realizing they can make money off their tits, but not really fully committed to making money off their tits, then realizing other girls with great tits are making showing off tits an empowering thing, so that there’s political reason to show tit, so not only can they make money off the tits, but they can get attention from the tits, have fun showing off the tits, and be empowered and a feminist with said tits….there’s really no option but to hop on the TITTY DROP train…so here’s those titty drops…which I guess are better than dropping things like puppies, babies, or the news that you’ve got HERPES…it’s the DROP with no victims…only winners.