DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2020

10

Sep

Bella Hadid Hard Nipple of the Day

Bella Hadid is vastly improved now that masks are mandatory, she’s really one of the people that you’ve seen memes of because she looks better in masks, her face, if you remember it is all jagged edged and terrifying….maybe a few too many procedures….I don’t know but it is manly and the whole idea that the fashion industry embraced it because it was unique looking and not in a good way, or maybe manly, I don’t know but she terrifies me…like some kind of robot sex doll….without the sex appeal…

She does have some titties on her skinny instagram model the fashion industry decided to endorse, because they have quotas I guess….and she clearly likes showing off those titties…because this is not baout her shirt, it’s about her hard nipple in the shirt…obviously, you know how these whores self promote…and they all self promote…even when they are billionaires….born rich….with her bought fame…mooching off the sister bought fame…because if you’re rich enough you can buy anyting…even magazine covers.

So here’s whatever this is.

Posted in:Bella Hadid

2020

10

Sep

Ashley Tisdale Ugly Watch – The Bikini Edition of the Day

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Since I’ve been doing the site for over 15 years at this point, I actually think November of this year will be my 16 year anniversary which is depressing, pathetic in a lot of ways, but also hilarious….There was a time when Ashley Tisdale was manipulating the media thanks to the power of Disney since they own the media….they tried to convince the people that she was hot, they even gave her awards for being hot, all while having some hook nose and eyes too close together, looking like some kind of WEASEL….fake tans, botched nose jobs, dyed hair don’t fool me…..

Now I am an asshole and the Ugly Watch was more to offset all the press she got for being so hot, when she’s very fucking average looking…..celebrity pieces of shit who are the worst humans around, but I think there’s a silver lining to every piece of shit celebrity, and in Tisdale’s case I would say that despite being a butter face, she had a good body, from working out I assume….and since all women faces turn shit if she keeps the body….that is golden…a fucking currency….then we found out a few weeks ago she had tiny fake tits all these years, more lies that her body was all bullshit too….which was a personal attack on me who, while hating her, gave her props for the body, since you can fuck without looking at faces….and now I find out the little tits were fake….that’s abuse.

That said, her implant-less, they call it EXPLANT tits are in a bikini and her belly button is doing something weird but to the Tisdale fans, who still think she’s the greatest, because you are easily marketed to, enjoy.

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale

2020

10

Sep

Asshole Behind Thong Thursdays of the Day

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Asshole Behind Thong Thursday is the greatest day of the week, I mean I say that about all my new regular features I do in part to mock other websites, since this site was originally designed to make fun of the loser fandom culture of celebs, by ripping into the celebs, and thus hurting the feelings of the loyal loser fans…..but that is also a great way to celebrate the loophole of wanting to show off your asshole, because it’s our orifice that unites us in this divided country of inclusivity, that all these genderless kids are excited by because for whatever reason they like eating it, fingering it, pegging it, in part due to the hormones and the media turning everyone gay, but also because follow the lead of Catholic girls and taking it in the ass prevents pregnancy while preserving your precious sex partner count by only letting the select few in the pussy, the ass is the where the shit gets thrown, the pussy is for special people…who fucking knows….people like anal and thus anus….whether it is due to queers, growing up on porn….it doesn’t matter…what matters is the loophole that is posting up a pic in a thong, to show the asshole peeking through….while still pretending it’s a pic of a thong and not an asshole…you know so they don’t feel as nude or slutty…..but rather protected by underwear…

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Posted in:Uncategorized

2020

10

Sep

Faith Schroder Boners at The Beach of the Day

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I don’t know when this generation or this age group of people decided that simulating sex half naked in photo was good content for social media, but from the pages of Alexis Ren and her success from basically humping her boyfriend in a bikini on the regular on beaches, all these horny fucks who grew up in porn, just like to show off their slutty behavior since nothing is sacred or private anymore, let everyone in on the love, like we’re living life at a Swingers club, only the old fucks trying to fuck are young good looking people…not that Faith Schroder is all that naturally hot, she is skinny, has a solid ratio and a good ass, even if it is probably photoshopped…since everyone is a lie…

I guess this one’s got something to prove because her dad is Ricky Schroder and when you grow up with a has been as a dad, it must put on some pressure to actually do something in your life and what better way to do something with your life than getting half naked on social media…

Here’s another one, why not:

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Posted in:Faith Schroder

2020

10

Sep

Julianne Hough Titty Sweat

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Since I personally know at least one girl who has been in the Ryan Secrest harem or I guess it would be the Ryan Seacrest program, which involves being spoiled with Agent Provocateur lingerie, he actually does the whole “Lock down the store in Beverly Hills” to make these girls feel like princesses, while literally equating them to Julia Roberts as a Hooker….but more interestingly, he makes them sign contracts and check their phones with his security, before doing tons of blow and fucking them up the ass….unless the “at least one girl” I know who has been put through the Seacrest Training camp was lying, which is always possible….but I doubt someone would waste their time on that….and more importantly who fucking cares what Seacrest gets up to by willing participants into the fact that he made 100s of millions of dollars a year in part because of the Kardashians, but also because of other shit he does…and that’s a lot of fucking money, enough to make someone ignore the fact that he’s Seacrest….

I bring him up. not because I like thinking about him fucking women up the ass like they are Simon Cowell, or because I was on his show once because I witnessed a celebrity fight in Toronto and my memory of that weirdness is something I hold close to my heart, not that I even remember it, I was very hungover….

I bring him up because Julianne Hough, the naughty Mormon who doesn’t agree with the PROVO way of life, because she was abused or maybe she had sex with her brother….doesn’t believe that modest is the hottest as she sluts out all over social media as they do.

What it comes down to is that dancing is really fucking stupid and the facvt people are into it at the level they are is a reminder that people are fucking stupid…like how is this a cool thing to post ever….it’s lameness on all levels….but LA people don’t understand that I guess….and either do the Straight from the mean streets of Mormons who are just happy that they can wear outfits more revealing than the underwear they once wore when John Smith ruled their lives….losers

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Posted in:Julianne Hough

2020

10

Sep

Debby Ryan Looking Intense of the Day

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I don’t know what Debby Ryan thinks this is, some sort of casting couch from when she was discovered on a Nationwide search by the Disney Channel back when she was probably too young to be prostituted out to an evil industry….yet she has survived…

I find the 12 year old Alabama getting famous petty fucking weird, but that was a long time ago, she’s now living her 27 year old married check life while looking good.

I actually like Debby Ryan, I saw her Beauty Pageant girl turned killer show that recently got cancelled and thought she was good….so this moody body shot works for me..which I am sure was the purpose of her posting this pic…you know to seek my approval…speaking to me in code…subliminally like I was one of her exes….as exes do.

Posted in:Debby Ryan

2020

10

Sep

Tanline Thursday of the Day

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Summer may be over but tanlines aren’t….thanks to all these girls trying to be influencers, or trying to be famous in their own right, or trying to be sex workers, they know that now, more than ever, a tan is so important to give off those healthy vibes, so Spray Tans are being done on every street corner to give the cam girl, or the cam girl that doesn’t know she’s a cam girl because she works in an office but still spends her day on cam in the form of Zoom that needed glow…so the tanline will survive covid, it will survive the winter….the tanline is forever…and tanline fetishists are rejoicing around the world by masturbating to the lighter parts of the skin, where the sun or chemicals didn’t taint the pure, natural titties and pussy…

For whatever reason, these girls have posted their tanline pics to show off their tanlines like it is some kind of accomplishment and maybe it is…because people fucking like tanlines…

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Posted in:Tanlines

2020

10

Sep

Jojo in Her Panties Again of the Day

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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, no one is more hyped than Jojo is that she is now an official “underwear” model, thanks to the good people at Rihanna’s underwear label, that cast her as an ambassador.

I like to assume that it is in part because no one even remembers Jojo from when she was the “jailbait’ being marketed to the masses as the “hot young actress” around the time of her 18th birthday, the pervert Hollywood Industry that pretends to be wholesome and Idyllic do that often around the 18th birthday parties….

But it is mainly because like all girls, Jojo, a natural performer thanks to being sold to the industry by her mom they angled as a “cleaning” lady in New Hampshire before the sheer talent of her daughter got noticed, because that’s always how it happens, especially in pre-internet times….but yeah, because all girls, especially those with tits, love showing off their tits, like they are an accomplishment and best friend, since all the dudes they fuck are so hyped on the tits and all the dudes who want to get with the chick, or who sex with the chick, are all hyped on the tits, so it must only be natural for these people to show off their tits…

Nothing wrong with that, it makes otherwise unmemorable has beens substantially more appealing as they take on their second attempt at celebrity, some revival that may or may not work, even if it isn’t recast with black/asian players…which pandering hollywood seems to be more into….despite the average person not fucking caring about any of that…

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Posted in:JoJo

2020

10

Sep

Hilary “Grab the Towel” Duff of the Day

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Hilary Duff is doing some shameless content for her pervert fans, because like her pervert fans, she’s a pervert too…

I mean she’s a mom of 2 kids with different dads, which is pretty fucking textbook, and doesn’t even factor in any of the possible pregnancies she’s terminated, not that I know she’s had abortions, but based on statistics, she probably has….

Not to mention, after her very boring divorce from her boring Canadian Hockey Playing Billionaire, who at the time of marrying Hilary Duff, I just assumed he was queer, all those locker room initiations to build team spirit doing gay shit, like other jocks…while Hilary was rocking what looked like a Cross Fit Body, which in the event you’ve never seen a woman with a crossfit body, you’ll know it’s repulsive…

ANYWAY, Hilary Duff, who was definitely sold to the industry, I heard this great story of how she went to some underage pool party at some Nickelodeon executive’s house with a bunch of other underage girls, one of whom was Jamie Lynn Spears who got knocked up by said executive, when she was underage…but again…just rumors that I believe because I know everyone is a fucking pervert, even if they pretend it is family programming.

So here is the 30 year old, mom of two doing some low level thirst trapping, because the last thing a person should want to do when in a towel is take a selfie, so clearly it’s all strategic.

Luckily, Hilary Duff fans are their own kind of weirdo and probably fucking love this shit…so here’s this shit…

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Posted in:Hilary Duff

2020

10

Sep

Annalynn McCord Topless of the Day

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In trying to keep drunkenstepfather relevant, with all odds against us, thanks to social media and all those other platforms that are stealing eyeballs from my slow to the gate lazy fucking ass, who at one time was relevant enough because there was no social media and the big box media sites had 2 week production cycles and didn’t understand that instant gratification and the posting of immediate content on the internet was what people actually wanted, until all the advertisers moved to the internet and those rich fucks decided to rain on my fucking parade…that was a pretty depressing, destitude, homeless, piss scented, shit stained, bootleg parade, I wasn’t getting rich off this shit, but like an influencer of this generation, just doing it for the people was enough reward for my broke ass….but I’m still here…for now….

What I am trying to say is in trying to keep the site relevant, here’s some Annalynn McCord topless trying to stay relevant, you know since no one anywhere gives a fuck about this bitch….or her toplessness…I mean she could release a sex tape and 10 people will buy it, just because they went to high school with her and want to see her asshole clenching a cock….

What I am trying to say is that saying I am using Annalynn McCord to keep the site relevant….was a joke….but since no one understands internet sarcasm anymore, as they are all literal autistic robots…I feel it is important to hold your virtual COVID hand and walk you through it…

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Posted in:AnnaLynn McCord