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2009

05

Nov

Hayden Panettiere Picture of the Day

Here’s a little advice that comes direct from the editor’s desk at Elle for the trannies, the fat chicks and the ugly chicks who are using online dating sites to lure new unsuspecting cock.

Learn how to use photoshop proper, become a fucking expert because a good picture of yourself is your best weapon in reaching orgasm from another person or at least getting a motherfucker to come meet you.

I understand there is a fear of backlash, that your pictures may have lied, but it’s better that the pictures are of yourself and not of your hot friend, cuz when 4 am on a Friday rolls around, the time of night perfect to meet your online dating boyfriend, because they are ready to fuck you since they never met you, and are usually drunk somotherfuckeer will accept an uglier version of the picture they fell for, and will just get weirded out by meeting a totally different person….

Thanks for the demonstration Hayden.

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere|Picture

2009

05

Nov

Sophie Monk is at the Same Event as Her Ex and I Don’t Care of the Day

Here are some pictures of Sophie Monk looking like real shit in Australia at some event.

I’m guess she was up all night tending to the Paris Hilton herpe scabs on Good Charlotte’s dick because he came crawling back to her after breaking her heart by leaving her for Paris Hilton only to have Paris Hilton leave him for some other dude, making him realize what he had and lost in some serious emo pussy bullshit true love he found in Sophie Monk.

Pretty much giving Sophie Monk little choice but to go back to him, because that’s just what losers do and because dating him was good for her career, it actually got her work and noticed, unlike her own desperate publicity stunt attempts, all for reasons I don’t understand, since I don’t even get how the Good Charlottes have money, work or fans to begin with, let alone the power to make a decent lookin chick more relevant, but I guess that’s just the way Hollywood is….and here are th pics…not that anyone cares…she’s pretty much done….

I guess those pictures weren’t too hot of Sophie Monk since she normally looks like a muppet I’d like to fuck, despite the smell of Paris Hilton in her pussy, so I figured I’d throw these recent pics up of her legs to compensate for whatever the fuck went on at that event she was at…..

Pics via Fame
Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Australia|Sophie Monk

2009

05

Nov

Cameron Diaz Still Thinks It’s Halloween of the Day

I guess Cameron Diaz isn’t who or what I thought she was, unless my title is right and she still thinks it is Halloween….even though I don’t think the stupid eye make-up is really the only cause of the disaster that has happened on her face…I think that the eye make up may just be what she wants us to think is the cause of the disaster that is her face….when in reality it is probably bad botox, or aging, or scars from self mutilation after Justin Timberlake left her for being too old, cuz something isn’t right in these pictures and Cameron Diaz is far from the piece of ass I once thought she was and here are some pictures of the tragedy…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Cameron Diaz|Halloween|old|Ugly

2009

05

Nov

Ashley Greene Pumps Gas of the Day

Want to know what I hate about Ashley Greene, other than the fact that she’s in that piece of shit emo movie Twilight, a movie you’d probably expect me to like because it is porn for teenage girls, but I can’t see past the fact that the cast isn’t hot, everyone is a shade of green like a bad Fall Out Boy Music video and most importantly there are no exposed tits or genitals, so the idea teen girls masturbate over it and it’s implied eroticism doesn’t do shit for me….I hate that she was one of those teenage girls back home in Florida who planned a modeling career for herself. She was that girl who you see in bars or who is in your classroom who acted too good for everyone else because she thought she was too good for everyone else and on weekends she’d go to modeling agencies asking to get signed, only to be told she’s too short which is code for too fat and ugly, and I guess her perseverance led her into Hollywood, but the good news is that she’s not too famous to pump her fuckin’ gas. She’s just a bottom feeder holdin’ on, hoping this Twilight thing lasts another 10 years cuz it is her lottery ticket or some shit.

Pics via INF

Posted in:Ashley Greene|Gas

2009

05

Nov

Kimberly Wyatt’s and Her Stripper Dress of the Day

I had to google Kimberly Wyatt because I had no idea who she was, but figured it was my duty to give you a little background on her, mainly because it’s nice to know the events that happen in a bitches life that make them the sluts that they are, like whether she was molested or abused, whether she had a drug addiction, whether she wasn’t hugged enough from her dads, because that information is realy valuable when it comes to manipulating them to bounce on your cock.

So when I saw this bitch in this dress I expected her to be some stripper who got invited to some red carpet event by one of their friends they give lap dances to who like this was Pretty Woman, only she wore her most glamourous dress she got at the sex shop and uses it in her first strip show on Friday nights because Friday is the biggest money making night…..

The windows cut into this discoball lookin’dress give us a tease of various parts of her body in some seriously trashy way and I find it hot, so it only makes sense that she’s the daughter of a trucker but more importantly a Pussycat Doll.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Kimberly Wyatt|Shiny Dress|Windows

2009

05

Nov

AnnaLynne McCord in Some Leggings Trying to Pretend To Be Incognito of the Day

I love these pictures of Annalynne McCord. Not because I love Annalynne McCord, or even think she’s hot because I don’t and not because I think she’s an interesting personality or a natural talen worth looking at pictures and following around because I don’t. I just love love these pictures because I think it is funny to see how she’s intentionally got herself all covered up so she looks like she’s so important that she has to mask her identiry, but I know that this is all an act and that she’s probably the one who tipped off the paparazzi by telling them that she was going to be going to wherever she is going, because that’s just what bottom feeders do.

So now the idiots who run the pictures think “Shit this Annalynne McCord is really hot right now, she can’t even go to the store without wrapping herself up like she was Britney Spears” when in reality that’s just what her management want you to think since they are trying to keep her relevant as 90210 will not last forever and McCord’s potential future is not so bright. It’s like an act now, act fast, these are desperate times situation and the whole thing is funny to me, mainly because I like seeing people fail, especially when they are the kind of failure who keeps coming back for more and won’t accept that shit’s over.

Here are the pics.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Annalynne McCord|Leggings

2009

05

Nov

Karina Smirnoff Showing Off Some Leg of the Day

I don’t watch Dancing with the Stars but I have seen the clips on the Internet and I know this Karina Smirnoff bitch dances pretty much half naked all the fucking time. If I wasn’t so lazy, I’d write a top 10 list of Karina Smirnoff slutty outfits on the show, but I don’t really care enough for that and will save that list for you to do for yourself. Think of it as a homework assignment.

What I’ve learned from pretty much every stripper I know or have seen leave work is that when a bitch is half naked in her work she is so much less interesting in her down time. It’s like you give us what we want, we’ve seen all you have to offer, but as soon as you punch out on your punch card, you get fucking boring and fade into irrelevance, and that is what these pictures are of….only instead of an off duty stripper, we have an off duty girl who shoulda been a stripper, but North America’s gone dance crazy…

Here she is avoiding the upskirt….like she’s not a slut who has flashed her panty covered pussy on national tv every week for the last few years….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Irrelevant|Karina Smirnoff|Leg

2009

05

Nov

Mariah Carey Is Too Fat to Not Be Wearing Pants of the Day

Mariah Carey went out wearing some one-piece bullshit that no fat girl should ever be wearing unless it is to mock herself or humiliate herself in hopes the emotional trauma will lead her to a better place and re-think that late night box of cookies or some shit, you know so everytime a piece of cake is dropped in front of her, memories of the day she walked out in public with her gunt exposed comes flashing back making her put the fuckin’ fork down.

So I can only assume, Mariah Carey did this for that reason, you know as some new age weight loss program and not because she’s delusional from all the anti-depressant meds and a younger dude who always had a crush on her deciding to marry her as part of his comedy acts has some ill affects when it comes to giving her more confidence than she deserves, but to rock this takes more than just confidence, this is on some clinically insane shit.

Unfortunately, as a motherfucker with no standards, I have pretty much no real problem with this, cuz when a piece of clothing touches pussy, ass and tits at the same time, it’s got pure skill and is something I bow down to with respect. For real.

Here are the miserable pics…

It turns out that this is for her new music video and we all know that bitch has the 50 pound weight loss in post production clause in her contract so at least we won’t have to relive these pictures, we’ll just get won over by movie magic and I’m okay with that as long as it means I can avoid seeing this shit…..That said here are a bunch more pictures that just came out because I’m not about to post another post on this shit, if anything I wish I didn’t even have to write one…..

Pics via Fame
Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Fat|Mariah Carey|One Piece

2009

05

Nov

Katy Perry Tit for Some MTV Bullshit of the Day

I guess Russell Brand’s needle sharing AIDS hasn’t soaked into Katy Perry’s bloodstream yet, because she’s at this event all smiles and looking as shitty as usual, like she’s got know idea she’s about to go on the battle of her lifetime.

I guess the reason why the AIDS from needle sharing hasn’t taken over her life and spun her into a depression or rage, is because Russell Brand doesn’t have AIDS for sharing needles because he was never a heroin addict that he claims to be. That shit was a lie to get him publicity and it worked, the UK people bought into his bullshit and gave him a book deal, that led to a radio show and an MTV deal and America followed….

So the only hope I had in eliminating this Katy Perry is pretty much back in the hands of one of her crazed stalkers who I’m hoping stops thinking about kidnapping her and bringing her back to his cave in the backwoods, where he will marry her and make her have his babies, saving the rest of us from having to deal with her cunt face, until she plans her escape in 13 years and no one remembers who the fuck she is, and actually does it.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:cleavage|Katy Perry|Ugly

2009

05

Nov

Molly Sims and her Dramatic Acting Reel of of the Day

I used to hate Funny or Die with a passsion. I didn’t know why, but I like to think it had to do with the figure skating movie Blade of Steel that Will Ferrell was in making me hate everything the motherfucker did. But as I’ve got older, I’ve decided to care less about everything, it’s been a pretty cleansing process and although I am still the bitter hateful motherfucker I tend to be, I don’t actually really hate anything, except maybe Lady Gaga and Katy Perry, I just refuse to carry that shit around with me because it really doesn’t matter enough to affect my mood.

So when I saw this video of Molly Sims, a girl I guess known for being in her bikini a lot, despite her flat ass, I figured it was kinda clever, because making fun of yourself is something I can appreciate so that’s why I’m sharing it with you.

Posted in:Dramatic Actor|Funny or Die|Molly Sims