2009
20
Jul
Here’s Coco and her ass doing a photoshoot for Black Men magazine because everyone loves her retarded ass, especially Black Men. I don’t know when this was shot because this level of tacky seems timeless, I mean shit could be straight out of a stripclub in 1994 or be from yesterday because I guess shitty sex toy apparel doesn’t really change with the trends like other clothes do and who really cares cuz here’s her silly ass.
Posted in:Coco|Photoshoot
2009
20
Jul
Here’s a chubby girl who makes her money cleaning house nude, which is almost a turn on for me because the only cleaning my wife does is when she licks a plate of food clean, and we are forced to live in a disgusting, bug infested mess, but the fact that she’s fat takes away all the fuckin’ fun, I mean who wants to see some sloppy cellulite pig naked, even if it’s better than watching your wife or some old Jamaican/Filipino lady doin’ it clothed, but as with all fat people, she won’t do a good job, because fat people are fuckin’ lazy, and the only way people will put up with her shitty work ethic, is if they get to see some pussy while she does it, because the more naked you get, the less particular your client is about whether you miss a spot, especially if they’ve already deemed you good enough to pay to get naked, which I don’t, to me this looks like a waste of fuckin money and prostitution should be saved for girls who actually fuck people, not girls who scrub the fuckin’ floors….unless it is with their asses while getting fucked and not with a fuckin’ mop….
2009
20
Jul
You know when your favorite pair of leather shoes you bought at the Salvation Army because you liked the idea of wearing a pair of shoes someone may have likely died in, not to mention becaue it is all you can really afford, and they seemed like they were in good enough condition, other than the smell of some other asshole’s foot fungus still lingering in the shit, but you wear those fuckers religiously, because walking outside without shoes is disgusting, and because they are your only fuckin’ pair. You slowly develop a relationship with them and as time goes on you actually start developing feelings. It’s like your trusty old shoes will get you over that puddle, or through that broken class, and you’ll do your best to make sure you don’t piss on them, or throw up on them, you know, taking the fuckers under your fucking wing and then one day you realize all the wear and tear is getting to them, so you buy some shoe goo in hopes of rebuilding your buddy, because you aren’t ready to say goodbye. That bandaid solution works for a while but you realize the leather is getting hard for some reason, like it’s old and dried up and there’s nothing you can do. You rub leather oil on it, you try you best to keep it alive, until one day it is too late and the whole thing falls the fuck apart. What was once a perfect fitting shoe some other asshole owned, is now some loose, floppy, dead cow on your fuckin’ feet and there’s nothing you can do about. No surgery to save it and you just have to accept that your time together is over….Well that’s kinda what’s happening to Lisa Rinna’s plastic surgery body, what looks rough and tough like leather is just some sloppy vile mess and soon she’ll have to accept the one-piece bathing suit when she hangs out at the beach…because her stomach is offensive.
Pics Via Fame
Posted in:Bikini|Lisa Rinna
2009
20
Jul
If your wife looked like a dude and you weren’t one of those closet cases who is into women who look like dudes because fucking them from behind makes it easy to imagine they have balls bumpin up against your balls, you’d probably turn to porn and strippers to get your fix of real pussy. So everyone can hate on him all they want, but there comes a point in every man’s life when he can’t stomach fuckin’ the bitch he accidentally married and had kids with, without anticipating how she would age, get fat or develop a work out program that makes her look like she’s got more cock than you, all resulting in no longer being something that turns you on….and here she is in a bikini….
Posted in:David Duchovny|Sex Addict
2009
20
Jul
I was just lookin out my window and saw some girl who I guess didn’t realize some creep was lookin’ out the window, pick her frontal wedgie. It wasn’t a subtle adjustment either, it was like an intense digging for fucking gold to get the fabric of her panty’s life out of her big ol vagina…and I thought that was sad.
Not the fact that she has a gaping vagina that eats her panties that are too small for her because she’s not willing to accept that she’s no longer a size medium and isn’t ready to up the shit, because the tightness and wedging isn’t enough of a headache to justify the emotional trauma that comes with admitting you’re getting fatter.
But because she had to subtly do it on a side street, where only one creep got to enjoy the site, instead of embracing her condition and sharing it with the world.
That’s why I like Jordan, she just doens’t give a fuck and if she’s got a shirt that’s too tight for her, then she takes ownership of it, no matter how stupid her tits look, because I hear the only reason she has stupid tits, is so that her retarded son has something to relate to at home, you know so he’s not the only stupid thing in the house.
Posted in:Jordan|Katie Price|Tits
2009
20
Jul
I wonder what Whitney Port’s dad does for a living. I assume he’s in the industry because that’d be the only reason anyone would give a bitch like her a chance. That’s not to say she didn’t suck dick to the top, it is to say she’s more useless than a bloody tampon, and I’m not just saying that because she’s on The Hills, my least favorite thing in TV history, I’m saying it cuz watermelon would be a hotter fuck than her….mainly cuz a watermelon has more shape than this dump.
Speaking of suckin dick, I hope she’s got that shit down proper, because she is the kind of girl you only date because you are blinded by the constant blowjobs, and you don’t notice her shitty lookin’ body.
Speaking of The Hills, I made friends with three 17 year old girls who were all dressed the same while wasted on saturday night. They were on a busy street taking a pee beind a fucking bush and I decided to join them. They weren’t too impressed but I think one of them wiped their pee covered hand on mine, a moment I will cherish til the end of time….
Posted in:Bikini|Whitney Port
2009
20
Jul
I’m sure you’ve heard that money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy everything else, well I’ll go as far to say that that everything else may be the key to happiness and that expression is just what poor losers tell themselves so that they don’t jump off the fuckin’ 10th floor window of their one room shitty apartment, because I can guarantee this Flavio Briatore motherfucker from the Grand Prix car races would not be married to a hot young pussy, if he was working for minimum wage at the local pharmacy and I am sure every day he sticks his dick in her smiles and pats himself on the back before cumming on her back, because life’s pretty fuckin’ good for him and all it takes is a couple hundred million dollars, sounds easy enough….
Posted in:Elisabetta Gregoraci|Flavio Briatore
2009
20
Jul
Pamela Anderson’s boyfriend has a funny story. You know when you were sitting around with your friends back in college and you were drinking before you went out to get laid, but not actually ever closing the deal, and you used to play “Would you rather?”, and one of the questions was along the lines of “Would you eat Pamela Anderson out when she was on her Period?” or “Would you rather lick her ass right after she took a shit?”, or “Would you rather fuck Pamela Anderson up the ass without a condom even if she was HIV Positive?” because you know she was the fuckin’ hot shit of the decade, the go to celebrity pussy to jerk off to, because she was hard nippled in a bathing suit on all our TVs late Saturday nights and had a sex tape and Playboy career.
Well Pamela Anderson’s boyfriend is living the “Would you rather”, sure it’s a decade and a half too late, but I guess no matter how grey and dead her pussy gets, she’s still Pam Anderson, and he was just some nobody construction worker, so when it came to would you rather be content having met a girl you used to fantasize your first wife looked like, or would you rather get Hep C from fucking her, he chose ther latter….and so would you.
But I guess he’s trying to hide his face so when she’s done with him, like she’s been done with so many men before him, he won’t have Hep C tattooed on his forehead scaring all the new pussy away….
Posted in:Hepatits|Pam Anderson|Shorts|Whore
2009
20
Jul
I get that Annalynne McCord’s mastered the real secret of staying in the Paparazzi’s lens and securing her celebrity for being on a shitty TV show, and that’s by wearing a bikini as often as she can because bikini pictures get picked up everywhere and people talk about you, sure it’s a cheap strategy, but the only other thing that will get her on this site is if she’s got a sex tape or is flashing her tits and pussy, because despite appreciating the fact that she’s skinny, I just can’t handle that stupid fucking face and dopey lookin’ mouth all teeth and smiles, shit’s ugly and the only way I can look past that is if I am lookin’ at her other lips…you know her LABIA lips….
Posted in:Annalynne McCord|Bikini|Birthday
2009
20
Jul
Guess what happens when you close a hundred million dollar deal with American Idol to add to your already insane level of success you have experienced the last 10 years…you get groupie gold diggin’ bitches who convince themselves that you are hot shit because they want a record deal and an exit strategy from their shitty broke ass lives and figure you look better than the billionaire Anna Nicole Smith prostituted herself to, because they’ve seen you on TV and they like that you’re an asshole with a horrible fake tan and that’s enough to make any pussy quiver with excitement the second they meet you in person, at least enough to give you a lap dance in the middle of a club because I guess all girls are wallet fuckin’ whores and if she fucks you the best she’s ever fucked, she thinks she won’t get voted off this week and will make it to LA. Get it, that was an American Idol joke. I’m pretty clever. Admit it.
Posted in:Groupie|Simon Cowell|Slut|Whore
