I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

14

Jan

Brooke Hogan and Her Fake Tits Go Shopping With Her Entourage of the Day

Keeping with her Tampa classy roots, you know from being the budget destination of Florida, Brooke Hogan brought her retarded fake tits, fake hair and broad shoulders out shopping. I hear after this they made their way to the local gas station to grab some twinkies and diet coke for lunch and then went on to chain smoke while reminiscing about the glory days working the gate a Busch Gardens while getting their bangs styled into a claw. Sure, I’ve never been to Tampa, but it reminds me of the local poor French trash and that’s pretty much what they do, only instead of talking about working at Busch Gardens, they talk about being on Welfare while playing Bingo, and instead of drinking Diet Coke they go for the no name brand’s hard stuff, but their daughters looks like Brooke Hogan, only a little more haggard and emaciated from chain smoking at the age of 10. They also take it up the ass on the first date and don’t mind if you put them on the internet….where as Brooke Hogan’s a little more conservative (read: boring) for that. She’s like a free hooker with a broken vagina.

Posted in:Brooke Hogan|cleavage|Implant Tits

2009

14

Jan

Posh Spice Does Lingerie Ads for Armani of the Day

Posh Spice signed a 3 year, 15 million dollar spokesperson deal to take a few pictures in Armani lingerie that will be in magazines, on billboards and wherever else they run lingerie shoots. The reason the price tag was so high was because she pretended she didn’t have the body or interest in doing it because she’s a mom of 3. Even though she knew that her eating disorder, plastic surgery and pressure to stay fit for her athlete husband did a good enough job fighting off the evidence the little fuckers left, I mean it’s not like these ads are going to show gaping mom pussy, and Armani bit. The whole thing makes no sense to me. I can’t imagine anyone buying underwear because Posh is in the ads, I can’t understand how this is going to pay for itself, I mean couldn’t they just hire a 4 or 5 girls off the street for a couple hundred dollars, and give the other 14,999,000 dollars to charity, I am sure there are hot enough attention whores who would do this shit for free. It is supposed to be the economic crisis and paying this kind of money for something so fucking useless disgusts me. It’s irresponsible excess and if anything should make you and anyone you know stay the fuck away from Armani Lingerie, provided you’re into paying outrageous designer prices for this kind of shit.

Posted in:Ads|Lingerie|Posh Spice|Victoria Beckham

2009

14

Jan

Annalynne McCord Does GQ of the Day

Annalynne McCord is proof that being skinny will get you noticed, because people are distracted by her lean body to realize she’s got some kind of primate shit going on with her face. She has manipulated the system so proper that despite being on a totally useless fucking show I can’t imagine anyone watching, she’s managed to squeeze her way into GQ, like she squeezes herself through small spaces because she can. She’s obviously got a good publicist with a whole lot of contacts who see a bright shiny future for this bitch and they are putting some muscle behind her to get her to really stain the mainstream, like my wife stains my sheets with her secretions. I don’t have anything else to say, because like a reader wrote me in an email, I have soul cancer.

Posted in:Annalynne McCord|GQ

2009

14

Jan

Simon Cowell is Still Making Bank Off American Idol of the Day

The thing that surprises me most about this whole American Idol shit is that the public still isn’t bored of it. I get bored of everything in my life, from my wife, to fucking the same hooker, to taking shits and drinking, but for some reason the rest of the world is just sitting there waiting to die or some shit, because they find comfort in this groundhog day shit and sitting through the same garbage year after year until it all ends….

To switch things up, they let a girl in a bikini on the show, a girl who realizes that being a slut gets attention and proving that she’s right by letting her go onto Hhollywood, made a big deal out of it and here’s the video. They also introduced Paula Abdul’s replacement and Ryan Seacrest got some action from some girl. Something his boyfriend will be pretty disappointed in.

Here are some pics of Simon out on vacation because all this shit you’re watching is pre-recorded and has made him a lot of fucking money, which is the main reason he keeps coming back for more of the same shit. He’s hustlin’ pussy on his jet ski, which is pretty much like being in a motorcycle gang of the sea, only instead of being cool in your leather, drunk and beating up hookers in stripclubs, you wear topsiders and khakis and buy the gold diggin’ whore you’re trying to impress expensive martinis at the the country club. Assholes.

Posted in:American Idol|Bikini Audition|Seacrest|Simon Cowell|Slut

2009

14

Jan

I am not this Jesus Martinez of the Day

I have had at least 1 email about this dude named Jesus Martinez who sold his 14 year old daughter for beer, meat and some cash. I just wanted to clear things up and let you all know that isn’t me. I wasn’t clever enough to sell my stepdaughter when she was still prime real estate and if I was, it would have been for a lot of money for her virginity and then by the hour and not for marriage to one dude for 16,000 dollars. Also, I am smart enough to know that if the dude didn’t pay up, I wouldn’t have called the cops to get myself arrested for underage prostitution, I would have just broke some fuckin’ legs, so now that that’s cleared up, I can go back to writing about useless celebrities I don’t care about and who don’t inspire me. Sluts.

On a side note the police said:

In the Oaxacan community, such an agreement is “normal and honorable,” he said. “In California, it’s against the law.”

So now you know where to retire….the Mexican state of Oaxaca,

To read the story
GO

Bonus – Here’s a List of the Dowry…to See What the Dad Thought the Daughter was Worth….

Posted in:Jesus Martinez|Pimp

2009

14

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

Maybe I am still depressed, probably thanks to a couple of days of hard drinking, maybe boredom from doing the same thing everyday from my dirty fucking couch we got for 40 dollars at the Salvation Army, that I am convinced someone has died on, at least once in its lifetime, that I call command center. Maybe it’s got to do with sucking at life, or maybe sucking at choosing a wife, but I think it’s got more to do with hearing a couple of young bitches talking in Starbucks about how Will Smith is an Icon of our generation, how beautiful and talented Megan Fox is and recapping this past Season of The Hills. It makes me wonder if people live their own lives and do things of relevance, or is their life about fixating on other useless people doing useless things and the whole thing made me want to kill myself, but I’ve been through way worse hardships and survived them, so I doubt I’ll say goodbye to the world, tell myself it was a good run then blow my fucking face off, I just feel like it would end my misery that comes from pop culture. On the plus side, there’s a lot of hot pussy out there, I plan on touching each and every one of them, because it’s good to have goals no matter how unattainable they are….

Here are my links…

This Shark is Better Than You
GO

Well, I Think I May Have Finally Fo sfund My Dream Job
GO

Did Minka Kelly Get Implants? I Hope So
GO

Bridgett Neilson Makes Me Want to Throw Up
GO

Jessica Biel in Some Video Showing Off Her Tits and Moaning…
GO s

Some Adriana Lima Bikini Pics from God Knows When…
GO

Kimberly is Oh So Fine
GO

What Happens When You Eat the World’s Hottest Pepper?
GO

A Day By The Pool Always Makes My Day Better
GO

Start Your Day Right With SUSHI-O’s
GO

Some Dirty Tyra Pics…
GO

Your Top Ten Friends From the 90’s That We All Hope Stay in the 90’s
GO

Danielle Harrington, Where Did You Come From
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

If American Idol Puts a Hault to Stripper Idol, I’m Gonna Kill Someone
GO

Tyra Banks Gets More Disgusting Every Day That Passes
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Grace Jones is Amazing and Shut the Fuck Up If You Don’t Like Her
GO

Bree Olsen is My Kind of Blonde
GO

Paris Hilton Will Kill Your Career
GO

Carmen Electra Gallery
GO

Big Tittes Russian MILF
GO

This Guy Got Caught Fucking a Cow! VIDEO
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Tuber Goes Through Window
GO

Dakoda is Just Plain Sexy
GO

Bunny Hop Fail
GO

Mr. Motivator is Just Way Too Much
GO

Love When Girls Play Dress Up
GO

Sluts Who Know Their Place in Life
GO

Who Knew Frisbees Would Be Fatal?
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Orsi Kocsis Can Be Your Newest Fantasy
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Bunny Strips Down
GO

Penis Painter Makes Art I Can Understand
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Katy Perry Is Trying To Get All Dita Von Tease and Shit and Failing Big Time
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Here’s The Girl From the Bond Movie…Two Years Ago and Still Hot
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Imogen Bailey is in Her Panties
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Bedtime stories With Heather
GO

Kate Beckinsale Bikini Throwback
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Amy Leigh Anddrews is a Bikini Babe
GO

Hack Your Snack Machine at Work
GO

Here’s Some More Photos From ther AVN Adult Entertainment Expo
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I Hope This Rumor That Madonna May Get Beheadded is True
GO

Sexually Harassed in Public
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The Girl Who Plays Lil Kim in the Notorious Movie’s Tits Up Close And Personal
GO

Amy Winehouse Pees Standing Up….
GO

AMAZING ROGUE COLLECTOR PHOTOBUCKET FIND!!!!!

Burka Porn…
GO

Some New York Cleavage
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

13

Jan

Some Kate Hudson Ass on the Beach With Her New Boyfriend of the Day

Kate Hudson has a new boyfriend, not that I care, I just like that she’s been around the celebrity block more than most people but no one ever calls her out for being a flat chested little whore, probably because she’s got a kid, even though the last time I checked, getting pregnant usually happens when you let random dudes fuck you unprotected and your abortion doctor tells you that one more abortion will put you over the edge and never let you have kids again, so either bite the bullet and bring the fucker into the world, or vacuum it out like you have so many times before and celebrate the fact that you’ll never have to take the pill or use condoms again because you are barren. I guess we all know which route Hudson took.

I don’t find her attractive at all, her little girl ass is alright, but the rest of her sucks, and I’ll post the pictures anyway, cuz I got nothing better to do with my time….

Here is Kate Hudson’s Sister in Law Named Erinn Bartlett, She Came in 10th Place in the 1991 Miss Teen USA Pageant…..And Then Kate Hudson’s Brother Came in Her….

Posted in:Ass|Kate Hudson

2009

13

Jan

Christina Milian’s Got a New Video of the Day

Christina Milian, a back-up dancer turned popstar a bunch of years ago is not letting the fact that no major label wants anything to do with her, and embracing her shitty contract with Myspace music, by actually going through with a new album and producing some videos for her new song, where she’s definitely not covered in mud and slutty like she was last time around, but still showcasing the little slut she’s hiding in her metallic bathing suit in a more refined and mature way. Sure it sucks, but I’d still fuck her and since shit’s been emailed to me 15 times by the PR people behind the shit, I figured I might as well post it as a plea to get her more naked because she isn’t completely washed up and ready to either pack things in a move far away to start a family, or in an ideal world, reject the rejection from the public and turn to porn to make sure people keep talking about her, so this is the best Milian action we’ve got to work with right now and it is better than nothing…

Bonus- Here’s the Behind the Scenes Video….

Us Against The World – Music Video Shoot

Posted in:Uncategorized

2009

13

Jan

Clotilde Courau is Some French Slut in Her One Piece of the Day

Her name is Clotilde, which is probably one of the weirdest names I’ve ever tried to write out. She’s from France, was some kind of actress before doing what all smart girls who realize their beauty is fading do, and that’s marry someone with enough money that they can settle down, pump out some babies and not worry about having to settle for a lifestyle less than what they are used to. She married a Prince, so she’s set, and I’m only really posting this because she’s in a bathing suit and I am bored of anything that involves girls who aren’t in bathing suits. It’s the one thing that I know will remind me that life’s not so bad, even if the bitch in them isn’t so good, especially when she’s breaking all the rules of her European background by not being topless.

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Clotilde Courau

2009

13

Jan

Kim Kardashian’s Got a Work Out DVD of the Day

I am hoping that this video, despite being direct from the paparazzi, is a fucking joke. You know, like the kind of thing you’d expect to find on Funny or Die or some shit, because in it, Kim Kardashian announces that she’s releasing a work-out DVD. Now, I’ve come to terms with LA being filled with these useless cunts who need to be in the spotlight because they’ve always had everything they’ve ever wanted and the only thing their daddy’s money can’t buy is general acceptance by the public, so they do these sex tapes, they host parties, they go to events and they try to stay relevant, but the idea of Kardashian doing a workout tape is like Jordan promoting breast amputation, Paris Hilton promoting safe sex, Lohan promoting sobriety, or me promoting a self help book. Maybe I’m the only one who isn’t blinded by the glitz and glam and see nothing but a fat pig of a girl, or maybe she’s trying to kill the stigma that she’s a slob of a girl and producing the shit herself. Maybe companies are desperate enough to get any name attached to their shit, but I think it’d be safe to say she’d be better off promoting an all you can eat buffet, you know the pitch could be “Obesity works for me, guys still want my cunt, try the chocolate cake it’s to die for”. I know that working out with her in your living room, is just some twisted shit that would make people like my wife happy, because my wife is fat and would feel better about working on her look with someone who is also fat, like they have some kind of rapport but she’d also be down with the exercises like lifting the chips out of the bag and into your fat whore mouth, or the getting up and walking to the door to pay the pizza delivery guy….if you know what I mean.

Posted in:Fat|Kim Kardashian|Work Out DVD