I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

16

Feb

Patrick Swayze Dying Pictures of the Day

Everyone always focuses on the bad side of cancer, you know that it kills you and rapes your fucking body in the process, but no one every gives it the respect it deserves for not being contagious. Maybe it’s nature’s way of weening out the perfectly strong, healthy and decent people, you know to make room for assholes like Lohan who throw their fucking lives down the fucking toilet because they hate themselves.

The point is that Patrick Swayze isn’t Magic Johnson with AIDs, dude has one of those cancers that doesn’t respond to treatment and that can’t be operated on and it’s pretty fucking sad to see. I have a feeling he’ll get criticized that when these pics were taken he smoked a solid 4 cigarettes according to the paparazzi, while when you’ve smoked all your life and are on your deathbed and smoking calms you the fuck down, then maybe it’s not so bad, maybe it’d go a little better with some liquor, some downers, some pot or even some heroin. It’s at that who gives a fuck stage where maybe he should do a little Point Break shit and surf his way into the Tsunami, fuck tranny hookers with no condoms, rape and pillage a small african village, fuckin’ drive into oncoming traffic, sky dive without a parachute or rob a couple fucking banks.

The point is that I feel for his wife, this shit sucks for them and you should all pray for a miracle, even though praying doesn’t work, it’s just the right thing to do….

Posted in:Cancer|Dying|Patrick Swayze

2009

16

Feb

Jessica Alba’s Hot Vacation Pics of the Day

Jessica Alba is on vacation and hiding her damaged mom body from the public. I assume she’s also hiding her mom vagina from Cash Warren not for fear of getting pregnant again at a time their family planning hadn’t planned for, but because she’s so exhausted from being kept up by the baby and all of its all hours of the night demands and by being exhausted from the baby, I mean from signing checks to her nanny staff who she’s pawned her baby off on cuz her lazy ass can’t be bothered. The fucking thing was a strategy or tool to lock her boyfriend who dumped her ass in because no one dumps Jessica Alba and this whole wanting to be fed, changed, loved, played with was not part of the fucking plan….

Posted in:Jessica Alba|Vacation

2009

16

Feb

Queen Latifah and Her Lesbian Beach Vacation of the Day

Queen Latifah was out on the beach in Miami this past weekend for some lesbian getaway and she was seen with some topless girl who I can only assume she’s fucking.

Now, you can hate on this pig all you want, but she still gets more pussy than you, which isn’t saying much, since a dude in prison gets more pussy than you, and even though prison pussy usually involves getting dick violently shoved in your ass before getting beat the fuck up to keep the whole thing “straight”, but when you’re that lonely, it’s still nice to have that human contact even if it’s just for a minute and comes with the bloody asshole. If you know what I mean.

I guess what it comes down to is that as long as you’re famous, there will always be a steady stream of vagina headed your way and you don’t have to bother with the useless things in life like diet, exercise or making yourself look hot enough to fuck. The whole thing is pretty lazy, takes limited work, just the way Latifah likes it, unless of course it comes to eating, in which case she’s a marathon fucking runner….

Posted in:Queen Latifah|Tits|Vacation

2009

16

Feb

Chris Brown’s Father’s House of the Day

If my son was some popstar who made a lot of money, even if he was my illegitimate that I was ashamed of for taking on a career as a light on his feet dancing like a pansy and not following the family tradition of working in a factory or a career in sports like a real man, even if I ran out on the family because they were too much work and effort and got in the way of drinking, even if I didn’t know he existed by had seen him on TV, you could be pretty much guaranteed, I wouldn’t be living in this fucking dump. Shit looks like a fucking double-wide trailer and sure that’s okay for some people, but not people who’s sons are famous enough to beat the fuck out of Rihanna. Seriously, I was lookin up property in Virginia or wherever the fuck they live and you can pick something like this up for 15 dollars and a carton of fucking cigarettes. Maybe Chris Brown should be spending less time renting lamborghini’s to kill girlfriend’s in and more time renting his pa something a little better than a modern version of the shanty’s the slaves on the plantation used to live in.

Posted in:Chris Brown|Father|House

2009

16

Feb

The New Lady Gaga Video of the Day

Now anyone who reads this site knows that I hate Lady Gaga and unlike my Lily Allen inconsistency that started earlier today, the hatred for Lady Gaga still burns strong. I don’t really let it affect my everyday life, you know that’d be fucking strange, but anytime her music comes on, I do manage to randomly start smashing my face into the closest brick wall.

Sure, she can sing better than most people, but she still pisses me off, mainly because she’s ugly and sings about sex.

Now I don’t hate all ugly girls, I just like when they know their place. You know, feel insecure and go above and beyond to get you to like them because every other guy has fucked them over and not take all the cock you’ve had and channel that into thinking they actually wanted to fuck you because you’re a godness, when really they fucked you cuz you had a vagina and last time I checked, vagina is better than jerking off. So now she makes slutty sex charged music and dressing half naked, making me unable to imagine her covered up and behind a mask like I’d like to think whenever her song hits every 10 minutes on the radio because I have already seen too much and can’t erase those things.

Posted in:Lady Gaga|Video

2009

16

Feb

Peaches Geldof and Her Unfortunate Topless Beach Pictures of the Day

I’ve written about this UK socialite slag before. She’s Bob Gedof’s 19 year old daughter, her half sister is that INXS dude who hung himself jerking off’s daughter. She’s a typical rich girl who craves attention by pulling stupid stunts, like getting married in August and proving her love with his named tattooed on her hand, only to announce last week that they are splitting up, or for being a partying drug addict slut to feed the pain that is having unstable parents who were too busy caring about themselves than to care about her, or because of whatever it is that motivates these rich kids to get high and cause scenes.

I hear that seeing her topless on the beach is not that big a deal as she’s always naked amongst friends, which is a great tragedy, because she’s fat. You’d think all that coke would do some good for her, or all that money could hire her dumpy ass a fuckin personal trainer instead of a tattoo artist to stain her sloppy body she thinks she’s turning into a piece of art, but that is more reminiscent of a bathroom stall at a shady bar that even I’m scared to touch or pee in for fear of disease.

Posted in:Fat|Peaches Geldof|Pig|Rich Kid|Topless

2009

16

Feb

Lily Allen and Her Panty Flash of the Day

I am a hypocrite. I am inconsistent. I am full of shit. I’ve been making fun of Lily Allen the last 2 years for no reason other than it being easy because she’s foreign.

I’ve acted passionate about having this hatred for her that I never really had, truthfully, like all things in my life, I was pretty indifferent, but if you read my shit about her abortion/miscarriage and the other evil jokes I made about her, you’d think I had a picture of her on my living room floor that I’d shit on daily until the smell got too bad that I’d be forced to hunt her down, kidnap her, and make her clean it up with her mouth.

But I was never phased by her, so today when I saw these pictures of her showing off her stomach as if to say to the radio host that that is where the baby lived before it fell out of her (got sucked out of her) and these are where she’s been letting her pet ferret suckle because she has the urge to feed something and since the baby is no more, shit’s gone sour, like the Milk in my broken fridge that I drank anyway, so I can relate.

Maybe our connection is obesity and a love for food and drink, maybe there is no connection, maybe I do hate her but just got tricked by a clever interview I saw with her, maybe I like making fun of her, because I really just want to be her friend, at least for today today, but I do know that unlike everyone else, she writes her own music, is successful with her own music, and you can’t hate someone who’s successful for doin’ their own thing, their own way and who clearly doesn’t take herself too seriously and can laugh and enjoy the ride, which is al lot more than you can say for these American celebrity cunts out there. I’m talking to you LOHAN and friends, not that Lohan has friends, but you know what I mean.

Posted in:Lily Allen|Panties|Uncategorized

2009

16

Feb

Fergie is On Valentine’s Day Vacation of the Day

Looks like Fergie went of vacation in some other country for Valentine’s Day shit because he’s in love. I know, it was just a couple years ago that the only love in her life was Crystal Meth before he broke her heart and left her face battered.

I guess she feels like her life isn’t enough of a vacation. I am not judging, because if I had the money I’d be on the beach laying in the sun and creeping on unsuspecting sluts too, I’d even encourage the locals to call me something like “Senor Sticks His Dick in Anything that Shows Up on the Beach and Gets too Sun Stroked to Resist” but since I am an asshole, I wouldn’t have a social responsibility to my fans to spend my money during the recession locally by vacationing within the country, not that I have fans, but you get what I’m saying, this $20,000 or more could have really helped some bed and breakfast in Vermont that is about to go bankrupt, but I guess in from her celebrity perch, she just doesn’t care about the people who buy her shit, but she does care about treating her leather face the way it deserves to be treated, like a fuckin’ saddle.

Posted in:Fergie|Vacation

2009

16

Feb

Some White Kids Fighting like Pussies of the Day

I saw this video of two of the whitest motherfuckers fighting it out and getting arrested at USC or some other university. Watch out for the clown with his gay gangster bandanas in his back pocket, after he gives you a pussy head but, I hear he is a master of devil sticks. There’s nothing like seeing a dude in North Face his mom bought him for the cold winter weather on Campus getting his hair pulled after an intense argument about economic policies, or which New York Times article they liked the best, or maybe even over some Noam Chomsky or whatever the fuck that dude who all college kids get hard for because they think it makes them more refined is named, that started in the classroom and ended up on the motherfucking street. Pussies.

I am surprised they aren’t wiping their eyes for tears after being so overwhelmed with emotion, you know with fear of daddy cutting off the allowance when they hear about the incident and try to sweep it under the rug so it doesn’t get back to their suburban golf buddies cuz that may be embarrassing.

White bread honky motherfuckers.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2009

14

Feb

Aubrey O’Day Playboy Scans of the Day


I haven’t bothered to check if these were posted anywhere else, but since the magazine is in stands it’s not really a leak or an exclusive, it just saves you 10 dollars and/or a lot of embarrassment of getting caught pulling a whack in the back of a magazine store…jack. Posting them today means we have til Monday before the asshole’s at Playboy, who email me constantly asking me to link to their shit for free, come knocking at my door saying that I breached some sort of copyright law by posting this shit when I just like to think I’m helpin’ sell magazines cuz these scans are fucking shit.

The point of this is to say that we all know you’re lookin’ for lonely desperate girls snd there’s only one place that will be a hot spot for that tonight and that’s at every movie theater playing “He’s Just Not That Into You”. So get up there now and start working your magic on bitter 20 somethings who’ve had a tough run and are alone this very magical day of love and lies.

Don’t tell me I don’t give you good advice. Happy Valentines Day you fucking queers.

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|Playboy|Spread