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Sara Sampaio Shows Off her Pussy in Tight Pants Under the Guise that it is a Fitness Video of the Day

Industry Flesh Puppet Jessica Alba Propagandizes for the Machine of the Day

Sydney Sweeney is Glamour’s Woman of the Year of the Day

Paige Spiranac Feeling Herself Up of the Day

Margaret Qualley is Hot for an Ugly Chick of the Day

2009

Feb

Academy Awards Spoiler of the Day

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Someone just posted this academy award spoiler on my facebook wall – i don’t know how legit it is – because my friends on facebook are deadbeats, but felt the need to post it to ruin your Academy Award excitement in case it is…

I am not posting the actual list on the site, cuz I am not an idiot and know that a lot of money goes into the biggest night in Hollywood, and even though I hate Hollywood, I don’t want to get sued.

Maybe they should keep a tighter leash on their staff if this is actually real.

See the Possibly Leaked Winners…if you like things that leak….like incontinent vagina.
GO

UPDATE – It’s not real and I am a solid day behind on this story because I am a drunk…but since it was fake here’s the list but bet one of these is right. Solid.

Actor in a leading role: Mickey Rourke
Actor in a supporting role: Heath Ledger
Actress in a leading role: Kate Winslet
Actress in a supporting role: Amy Adams
Animated Feature Film: WALL•E
Art Direction: The Dark Knight
Cinematography: Slumdog Millionaire
Costume Design: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Directing: Slumdog Millionaire
Documentary feature: Man on Wire
Documentary short: The Conscience of Nhem En
Film editing: Milk
Foreign language film: Departures
Makeup: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Music (Score): Defiance
Music (Song): Down to Earth (WALL•E)
Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire
Short film (animated): Presto
Short film (live action): Auf Der Strecke (On The Line)
Sound editing: WALL•E
Sound mixing: The Dark Knight
Visual effects: Iron Man
Writing (Adapted screenplay): The Reader
Writing (Original screenplay): In Bruges

Posted in:Academy Awards|Spoiler

2009

Feb

Jennifer Love Hewitt Doing Push Ups on Leno of the Day

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Jennifer Love Hewitt did some pussy sit-ups on Leno last night, I guess they had some kind of bet going the last time she was on the show, that next time around she’d take her fat ass to the floor and show them how her fitness level improved, so on National TV, she was called out to do it giving all you perverts a glance down her shirt and the whole thing was disappointing, I was hoping for injury, heart attack or at least some kind of close up, but all I got was a dumpy girl doing the kind of work out that got her dumpy in the first place.

Now I’m no fitness expert, if you saw me, you’d expect me to pass out from just standing and carrying my weight, but I did spend a lot of time at the gym a few years back for about a month, it turns out if you volunteer at the Y, you get a free membership, so not only could I use the sauna and shower and shave there, so people didn’t know I was homeless, but I could also spend hours upon hours watching girls in tights very fucking closely, to the point where I’ve figured out what perfect form actually is.

I actually believe that I am the reason all girl gym’s exist, I am the reason that Curves is a multimillion dollar company, and I’ll never see a dollar of that shit, cocksuckers. Sure you can say that other guys are there to be just as perverted, to hustle chicks, to show off how strong they are to get them to notice, but none are as good at perverted as me, I’m talking standing there in my everyday clothes, not pretending to work out, following whoever I found hot enough to watch perform until being asked to leave them the fuck alone because I was distracting them, 90 percent of the time before letting me finish myself off, cunts.

I was surprised it took being caught hiding in a locker in the women’s locker room for them to ask me to never come back.

Speaking of working out, here are some pics of Haylie Duff working out because she’s too irrelevant to get a post of her own….

Here’s Miley Cyrus Talking About Pilates Like the Idiot She Is…

There’s a part two to the Miley video in her “workout” gear, forgetting she is the driver…

Posted in:Jennifer Love Hewitt|Push Ups

2009

Feb

Kim Kardashian in Some Workout Gear of the Day

7 Comments »

You always see Kim Kardashian out in work out gear, you’d think she was trying to convince herself that if she puts on the clothes she’s halfway there to actually breaking a fucking sweat and getting her dumpy fucking body into some shape. Who knows, maybe on her intentions are legit and on her way to the gym, you know after telling herself that “today is the day”, she just gets sidetracked when she sees an Asian manicure place and by the time they are done on her mangled feet, it’s too late to work out, I mean especially since you don’t want to ruin the pedicure in her gym shoes, so she goes out for ice cream instead. You can’t really blame her for getting poor Asian women up on her shit and grinding her toe nails down, because she’s tried to do it herself but she just can’t seem to reach her feet, her gut gets in the fucking way.

Either way, she should probably be the one tending to a challenging foot, because god knows she needs the cardio.

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Pedicure|Spandex|Workout

2009

Feb

Lady Gaga Performing at the Brits With Pet Shop Boys of the Day

2 Comments »

In more tragic news, Lady Gaga was at the Brits pushing her sucking her dick to the top skills to the next level to secure a stronger UK audience by somehow working her way onto the bill by performing with the legendary gay anthem Pet Shop Boys because I guess they thought she was in their target market, until bitch took off her pants and they realized there was no sign of testicle.

The point is that she befriends the media like Perez because she knows he is huge and has huge visibility and plays nice to him so he thinks he is in because he’s a bottom feeding lonely leach trying to get the respect he thinks he deserves and her text messages provide that glimmer of hope, she befriends other artists, she caters to the gay market and the whole time she does it, she’s fucking ugly, I’m talking monster fucking ugly and there’s no sign of her disappearing yet, not that it’s easy for a mutant with a birth defect to keep low profile anywhere she goes, but as long as she’s off the TV, Internet and Radio, I’ll be happy.

Posted in:Lady Gaga|Performing|Pet Shop Boys

2009

Feb

Louisa Lytton is a Troll of the Day

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Move over Hayden, new troll in the building…part of me feels like Hayden Panettiere found this girl and launched her career in the UK so that no one locally would ever find out that she was behind the her career when her US Success hits….the other part of me doesn’t really care.

Posted in:Louisa Lytton|Troll|Ugly

2009

Feb

Katy Perry’s Ass at the Brits of the Day

4 Comments »

I have some bad news. Katy Perry has gone on to win a Brit award, meaning she’s got international notoriety and that depresses me. Not only do I know she’s a talentless hack, but that song is fucking painful, cheap, and fucking useless. It’s simple attention craving at it’s best because everyone knows that the idea of girl on girl is one of the most basic fantasies of straight men everywhere and she sets it to a beat gay men can dance to, teenage girls can emulate and the whole thing is a fucking mess. Maybe I’m just jealous because my “I kissed a boy and I got aroused” single didn’t get the same visibility. Sure, I only performed it once, while drunk, in a club, trying to seduce a girl who was into gay porn, and the whole thing was a lie, but that shouldn’t matter because so is this hag.

Either way, nice panty line you cow, I’d say you’re supposed to go bareback in these kinds of pants, but I know those reinforced spanx are essential to keep your fucking disgusting from escaping.

Here she is trying to be sexy while performing earlier in the week….

Posted in:Brits|Katy Perry|Leggings

2009

Feb

Girls Aloud Performing at the 2009 Brits of the Day

1 Comment »

It was the British Music Awards last night and Girls Aloud were the opening act. I know, why would you care about the British Music Awards, you don’t live there so it doesn’t affect you, not to mention award shows are a total waste of fucking time and are more of a jerk off fest where people who already have massive egos get pinned up against each other for one to walk away the super ego, meanwhile every person in the room has already won the fucking lottery, but at least every now and then, bands I hate like Nickelback aren’t in the spotlight, and a group of slut Spice Girl impersonators who somehow avoided a career of stripping take center fucking stage and there’s nothing wrong with that, I mean other than how bad their music is, but who cares about the music when they’ve got tits. Right?

Here is member Sarah Harding’s Friend and by friend I mean assistant she probably shits on daily, Taking a Dive…..because it is funny and something These Drunk Sluts are Used To

2009

Feb

Lucy Liu’s Tits at Some Fashion Show of the Day

27 Comments »

I never give Asians enough love on the site. I feel like it’s because I generally don’t find them all that hot and I’m convinced that they aren’t marketable in the pop culture. Sure there’s Tila Tequila but people only pay attention to her because she’s a whore with fake tits and no shame, I’m talking about the likelihood of the next Britney Spears being from a Chinese family you’d expect to work their family restaurant being almost impossible.

Maybe I am wrong because they just aren’t into pop music as a career because they are too busy studying math, computer science and medicine, but I like to think it’s because their short flat chested bodies and conservative robotic behavior that seems to like to stick to their own kind just does not cut it.

The good news is that they make great wives because they are patriarchal and subservient and don’t need sleep because they are hyper evolved and can spend a lot of time tending to your needs, doing your laundry and trying to make your babies.

Speaking of hyperevolved, here are Lucy Liu’s tits, because the daughter who works at the Chinese convenience store near my house is not built like this.

Posted in:Lucy Liu|NY Fashion Week|Tits

2009

Feb

Pam Anderson’s Old Ass for Some Gay Club Kids of the Day

2 Comments »

I don’t know what it is with Pam Anderson, but she’s one of those girls that gay dudes seriously relate to. Maybe she’s a dirty fag hag, but I think it’s most likely got to do with the hope she brings them by being living proof that all you need is a lot of money for surgery to be an accepted sex symbol to straight men everywhere, that or because she brings all the coke to the party and free coke is the best kind of coke.

So when clubkid Richie Rich and his clothing line had their fashion show, I wasn’t surprised to see Pamela Anderson there, especially now that her ass hit menopause and is jacked with testosterone and slowly lookin like one you’d find on a tranny on estrogen therapy, seeing this bitch is like taking a human biology class and like I am just as confused as I was when I took it in the ninth grade because I don’t know if getting off to this makes me a faggot. Enjoy.

Tranny Amanda Lepore Showed Off Her Finally Better than Pam Anderson Body

Slut Aubrey O’Day Was There With No Pants On and Brought Her Playboy Cover So People Won’t Forget Her High Point….

Coco Kept the Whole Event Classy

Posted in:Ass|old|One Piece|Pam Anderson|Saggy

2009

Feb

Billabong Bikini Fashion Show of the Day

3 Comments »

Billabong doesn’t really bring up images of sexy, big breasted, tight body bikini girls to my mind. Usually the girls who rock this shit are either chubby in a tankini with the bike short bottoms or butchy action sports chicks who chug beer, have fart contests with their homies while playing video games like one of the guys, so I wasn’t too surprised when I came across these Billabong Fashion show pictures, because despite not being too manly, these girls are pretty horse-like, I’m talking they took them straight from the Heidi Montag family, and I am posting them cuz you’d probably give anything to ride them into the sunset, cowboy.

Posted in:Bikini|Billabong|Fashion Show