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Lindsay Lohan in Burkini with a Hermaphrodite of the Day
Lindsay Lohan in Burkini with a Hermaphrodite of the Day
Britney Spears Keeps Dancing of the Day
Britney Spears Keeps Dancing of the Day
Salma Hayek’s Strong Jaw in a Bikini of the Day
Salma Hayek’s Strong Jaw in a Bikini of the Day
Sydney Sweeney Does Make-Up on the Lake of the Day
Sydney Sweeney Does Make-Up on the Lake of the Day
RFK Jr’s Wife in a Slutty Dress of the Day
RFK Jr’s Wife in a Slutty Dress of the Day

2009

26

Jan

Jessica Simpson Is Fat of the Day

34 Comments »

Jessica Simpson always had the tits of a fat chick, she was just never fat because she had the motivation and drive of a girl who wanted to make it, and she knew that no fat girls make it, so she traded the Texas BBQ for some LA rabbit food and a treadmill. I knew that her move back into country and her move back to Texas from the popstar life, was going to shape her into a new person, a nice fat new person. I guess you can’t fight genetics forever. So here are some pics of Jessica Simpson and her gunt to celebrate good ol’ southern cookin’.

She is a fuckin’ beast, it’s like Tony Romo did this to her because he wanted her to look more like a defensive line so he could actually get turned on when they fuck. She’s so fat, she even needs two fucking belts to keep her belly from dragging on the fucking ground and the whole thing fucking disgusts me.

Posted in:Jeans|Jessica Simpson|Performing

2009

26

Jan

Some More of this Coleen Rooney Bitch in Her Bikini of the Day

2 Comments »

I can’t help but post these Coleen Rooney Pictures, mainly because there are so many of them circulating the internet, and because after last week I’ve become obsessed with this girl and her pudgy little upper pussy area. I don’t know what it is, maybe it’s that her name is Coleen and I’ve always wanted to fuck a girl with such a dirt name, but I think it just has to do with me being a desperate fucking pervert who can distort everyday garbage into finding at least something arrousing about it and it this case it has nothing to do with her tits that are too small for her thick frame and everything to do with that shit stain on her ass that no matter how many times she swims, never seems to go away…. Here are those pictures of her keeping busy in a bunch of different bikinis…because having a different bikini for everyday of the year is what the life of luxury is all about…and part of the reason she married her rich soccer husband instead of dumping him like most high school sweethearts do….

Posted in:Bikini|Coleen Rooney|Fat

2009

26

Jan

Janice Dickinson Wants to Do Porn With the Paparazzi of the Day

3 Comments »

Janice DIckinson offers to do a porn tape with the paparazzi, because she’s one of those too horny for her own good bitches. It’s too bad that it was just a joke, because I love to see her dry weathered, coked up vagina do some circus tricks on tape. I hear the motherfuckin thing is just as crazy as her and after a few cocktails, it throws a tantrum, cries, then drinks some more, before puking all over some random dude’s dick, because it likes the attention.

Posted in:Horny|Janice Dickinson|Porn

2009

26

Jan

The Miss America Pageant Happened and The Winner Wasn’t Black of the Day

11 Comments »

It’s nice to see that America hasn’t got too much jungle fever and hasn’t lost their morals and values by deciding that black people don’t need to win every competition and election they participate in during this week’s Miss America shit. I mean sure, it’s politically correct and deserved, because they are a people who have been oppressed by the white man their entire existence in North America, I mean the only reason they were even brought over was to be slaves to the white man, and it is okay for them to have their time to shine, but there’s no need to get repetitive and predictible and give every black person who runs the prize, or the job, or even your seat on the bus, unless they really deserve it and go above and beyond what you’d want out of a winner. You gotta keep them on their toes a little and not let them think they’ve broke down all boundaries and won their cause because it’ll fuck up the whole fabric of America.

Truthfully, I don’t care who wins this garbage, beauty pageants make no fucking sense to me, considering the girls involved are generally not beautiful, and because they distract from the whole beauty thing by letting them talk. I also like seeing the black people take over the USA because white people are fucking boring, I just like to make you think I don’t for dramatic purposes.

Here’s some of the swimsuit potion of the contest….because I am hoping you weren’t watching this shit….

And here’s one of the talent show components freaking me the fuck out….

Posted in:Miss America|Pageant

2009

26

Jan

Kelly Rowland Was On The Beach of the Day

7 Comments »

Kelly Rowland was out on the beach, doing the only thing that makes sense and that’s getting a little sun, because I guess she doesn’t feel dark enough now that’s she’s made all this money in the white man’s world by appealing to white girls. I like to call this shit getting back to her roots and keeping it real, even if the concept of black folk tanning makes no fucking sense to me. On a side note, she has fake tits and forgot her bikini, but you probably already figured that part out on your own. Forget what every teacher, boss, family member and friend has ever said about you being a fucking moron who will amount to nothing, you just proved yourself to be a genius to me and sure that may not get you anywhere in life, but sometimes that pat on the back is all you need.

Posted in:Beach|Kelly Rowland

2009

26

Jan

Miley Cyrus in Some Weird Horse Riding Photoshoot of the Day

3 Comments »

The next time Miley goes horseback riding, she should do it bareback, you know without pants or underwear, because it’s the best way to leave her box bruised, chaffed and smelling like shit, I mean other than spending the afternoon in a meeting with a team of Disney execs who own that teenage snatch. I mean it’s not prositution when it’s a career more, or maybe it is. Well at least she gets paid well, I mean otherwise it’d just be fucking sick since she is only 16, and I am not trying to present her as a sexual object, that would be illegal and suicide for me, I’ll just let Disney continue to do that, but in her defense, 16 year old’s are usually past the handjob phase, and have thrown the panty-on rule out the window, and taking things to the next level, so in her defense she’s gotta get some fuckin’ love somewhere, it’s not like that guy she’s dating is giving it to her, because he’s gay and scared of vagina, no matter how many promises it makes to give him a career.

Here she is doing a photoshoot somewhere….

Posted in:Horseback Riding|Miley Cyrus|Photoshoot

2009

26

Jan

Some Shauna Sand in Her Bikini of the Day

3 Comments »

I just spent an hour uploading these Shauna Sand bikini pictures. I have no idea why. It’s probably got something to do with me having nothing better to do with my time, but I like to think it is because I like girls to think I find this shit hot, so they feel inadequate, flat chested, deflated lipped and fat, so that they save up their money, get as many plastic surgeries as dicks you’ve had in your various orifices, so that all the bitches who won’t fuck me will end up lookin like monsters too. That way I won’t feel so bad about myself, because anyway you look at this, it’s fucking disgusting.

Here are some more pictures of Shauna Sand in her bikini, on some romantic getaway, with some guy who’s gotta be gay to get with this tranny pig, because I don’t think you’ve been punished enough….

Posted in:Bikini|Shauna Sand

2009

26

Jan

Lindsay Lohan’s Pretty Skinny, but Still a Huge Cunt of the Day

7 Comments »

My new enemy Lindsay Lohan went shopping to try to remind herself that despite being pretty irrelevant, she’s still got enough money to buy herself anything she wants, so life isn’t all that bad, despite knowing that it is, and she’s lookin’ pretty skinny.

Maybe it’s because she’s back on fucking drugs, but we all know she never stopped taking the drugs. She’s just an unstable bitch who everyone hates, but can’t manage to escape because she hasn’t Heath Ledgered herself, but I am sure she will do us that favor soon enough. She just needs a couple more rejections, failures and episodes. At least we have something to look forward to.

Or maybe she’s so skinny because she’s on an all fish diet. Yes, it is bad joke Monday everyday of the week here at drunkenstepfather.com, because I don’t discriminate against days, I just discriminate against people.

Posted in:Cunt|Lindsay Lohan|Skinny

2009

26

Jan

Tommy Lee is a DJ and Victoria Silvstedt is his DJ Whore of the Day

4 Comments »

So Tommy Lee is another one of these celebrity DJs who goes out to clubs because they offer him a lot of fucking money to get behind the turntables and let his ipod do the talking.

Now I don’t really give a shit about this whole celebrity DJ movement, I think it’s a huge fucking joke, but that’s probably because I don’t think DJing really takes all that much talent, I figure if you have any level of rhythm, like if you were a drummer or something, mixing other people’s songs into one another would be pretty fucking easy.

What I don’t fucking understand why he’d want to DJ. Isn’t he rich and famous? Maybe it is because his band isn’t making moves or money because he’s settled all those lawsuits out of court with girls he gave STDs to. Maybe it is because it is the only way he can convince a club to hire him to attend, and he figures he might as well make stupid money to get drunk, then not and it lets him be the center of attention and source of the music all the sluts in the club are dancing to.

No matter what it is, it’s a fucking scam and cunt Victoria Silvstedt is feeding right into it, but that’s okay, because she’s a fucking idiot, and idiots are expected to suck up to an overpaid, ex rockstar DJ, because they are more famous that her mooching ass and she’s willing to do anything possible, as long as it involves getting dick in her mouth/ass/pussy, to climb up the ladder, even though she’s old, washed up, and disgusting.

Bonus – A Picture of Tommy Lee Advertising to the World That He’s Tricked Us All Into Making Him Famous. Thanks Asshole.

Here are some more pictures of Victoria Silvstedt and whatever the fuck this event was….because she’s a fucking whore.

Posted in:DJ|Tommy Lee|Victoria Silvstedt|Whore

2009

26

Jan

Kanye West is an Asshole of the Day

13 Comments »

I hate Kanye West. You can tell dudes an insecure little pussy with no friends. He just secured a deal with Luis Vuitton to make some hip hop shoes for them, because that’s how these big corporations work, hire a celebrity to be the face to a new direction they are taking their shit.

Now he’s on some ego trip. Like he’s a fashion icon, because not only did his mom suck his dick and make him feel like a star when she was alive, but so did everyone else. He is the kind of guy in dire need of getting beat the fuck up and the only way we can do that is to not buy anything he does, or participate in his music.

That means, everytime it hits the radio, call your radio station and complain. That means standing outside your local record store staging hunger strikes and shit. This motherfucker is detrimental to the world and needs to be stopped.

In this video, he’s decided to joke around about changing his name to Martin Luis the King Jr and I find that offensive. Kanye hasn’t progressed society in anyway, he’s just a little 5 foor 6 cunt with small man syndrome and no mother.

Posted in:Asshole|Kanye West