2008
12
Dec
I thought today was Saturday and I didn’t realize that it was Friday, just like Pamela Anderson didn’t realize she’s in her fucking 40s before putting this one piece thong shit on for her creepy Magician friend, and look how that turned out for her…pretty fucking sloppy and since sloppy is what I do…and the real magic trick in all this is slowly watching the Pamela Anderson you all grew up making love to in your mind disappear….
Posted in:One Piece|Pam Anderson|Thong
2008
12
Dec
So I am not an actual d-list celebrity and people don’t care about me, so I have to go out of my way and add random whores to my facebook in efforts to get 5000 friends and pretend I am a d-list internet celebrity that 5000 people care about, while knowing I added them all myself randomly.
The problem with adding people to facebook who you don’t know is that they question who the fuck you are….Like last night, a girl wrote this to me…
do i know you?
Sure, I’m the guy who just jerked off to your profile pic. You were amazing.
Love,
Jesus
She didn’t add me, I want to change my strategy, but my typing fingers just won’t let me.
Here’s some links…..
RIP Bettie Page
GO
Intervention!!
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Alyssa Milanos Nipples Are Hard Under Her Designer Sports Sweater
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Merry Christmas From Satan
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Claire Sweeney Groping Herself Throwback
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Stephanie Pratt is Lookin’…uhhh…Hefty
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Kasia is Delightful
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Pizza Prank That is Worth Trying Yourself
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Krystal Forscutt is All Oiled Up
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Why Did You Leave Me?
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No One Cares That Ashley Simpson Had a Baby, Including Me
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Some Vintage Paris Hilton
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Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
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Anna Lynne McCord Goes Shopping, or Something
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Do You Remember Stacy Dash As Well as My Penis Does?
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Fergie Still Doing What She Does Best
And By Doing What She Does Best I Mean Looking Like a Man
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Are These Girls Having Sex or Doing Yoga
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As If We Need More of This Cunts Family Walking Around the Earth
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Pranking Girls Always Makes For Good Times!
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Knocking OUt Your Girlfriend is the Only Logical Thing to Do After You Tear Off Your Pants
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Because I Want Your Thursday Night to Go As Smooth As Possible
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I Want a Super Suit for Christmas
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Wino’s Soon to Be Ex Husband Got His Ass Beat Upon Returning to Jail
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Tropical Triaminic
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Giulia Olivetti is Model Material If You Ask Me
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Tabitha is on a Red Leather Sofa
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Lydia and Miranda Are Lovely
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Britney Spears Gets Excited Joke….
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Stevie Wonder Wants to Join Dancing With the Stars
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Striptease of the Day
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Dump Truck Flips Out
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A Tv Nipple Slip Always Brightens My Day
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Micha and Jess ARe Good Fucking Friends
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Ciara is Lovely
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Samantha Buxton Goes Swimming
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Who Knew Slovakia Had Such Fine Exports
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I’m Gonna Be All Over Rhianna If It’s the Last Thing I Do
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Shay Laren is in Leopard Print
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Waste More Time Here
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Audrina Patridge Is Looking Kind Of Alrigt
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Hilter was a Good Boss
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Enrique’s Makin’ Out With a 17 Year old Slut on Stage….Criminal….
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What Could Be Lady Gaga’s Nipple….
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A Little Carrie Fisher Interview for Those of You Still In Love with Princess Lea
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A Couple KFC Workers Taking a Bath in the KFC Sink in their Underwear….
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Jesica Cirio is Some Model Showing Off Her Crazy Agentina Ass in a Thong….
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Make Milk Into Marbles. Seriously
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What Flavor of Jello Pussy
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Some Crazy Fake Tits…
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Posted in:stepLINKS
2008
11
Dec
Here’s a funny video of a maintenance man who pulled a wack at some woman’s desk, but doesn’t end there, dude takes her gum and rubs it on his genital and re-wraps the shit so that she chews his shit without knowing, making one of the weirder fetishes I’ve seen today, but it’s not all that much worse than the times I’ve rubbed my dick on random things when people weren’t lookin, whether it be clean panties at laundromat, stirring drinks with my dick in bars, cumming on cigarettes and letting them dry before giving them give out back when I smoked, I mean seriously, if you watch your shit, people who like rubbing their penises on shit, or cumming on shit you end up putting in your mouth because you’re too much of a snob to let us rub or dick on you in the first place, wouldn’t have anything to rub their penises on or cum all over….so it’s really your fault for letting it happen.
2008
11
Dec
Here’s the beast Doutzen Kroes from Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Fame topless from a photoshoot done in 2007 in V Magazine. I figure why bother writing anything more about this because I don’t give a shit about her, Victoria’s Secret or their marketing scam that involves half naked ladies on the runway, who I think need to be replaced, mainly because they aren’t in arm’s reach, or willing to take it to the back booth for 10 dollars a song. I only really care about Lima, she’s the only real talent , and even then I don’t really give a shit. I figure if you’re going to do a fashion show, you gotta make that shit funny, you need people with disabilities, fat chicks or the homeless modeling the shit, because tall, hot bodied chicks is played the fuck out, not because I am gay, but because I need stimulation, I need to feel inspired, I need to see something a little fucking different, but you don’t, as long as there’s cleavage, you’re good, and here are Doutzen’s tits, in the event you were lookin at her in her bra wondering what color, size and placement her nipples had, weirdo, and that’s pretty much what she’s bringing in this shoot and that’s pretty much why I’ll post it because I like to think that’s my job, even though we both know I don’t actually have a job….
Posted in:2007|Doutzen Kroes|Naked
2008
11
Dec
I don’t know why these pictures of Aubrey O’Day and her fake tits hit the internet today, because the people at Complex told me they’ve been around for a while, but since everyone’s posting them, I figure I might as well jump on the bandwagon. The truth is, based on her level of trash, I’d expect her to be getting hosed down with pig shit, or Diddy’s black man piss like she was a Kardashian, or maybe even a 15-30 men bukake party, or even some fuckin’ dirty mop water, but Fiji water, that she’s like 3 dollars a bottle, everyone knows that no man in their right mind would spend that kind of money on this kind of whore, unless it came with a Girlfriend Experience, included her abused pink dog and ended after an hour.
To See More Exclusive Behind the Scenes Shit at Complex….
GO
Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|Backstage
2008
11
Dec
Here’s Elisha Cuthbert’s arm on fire on the 24 set. I didn’t know she was still working, I thought she was just some Canadian puck slut working the Hockey circuit and by the looks of this soap opera star performance, they probably should have let the rest of her burn up in flames with her career, but maybe putting out the fire was just symbolic of her career being snuffed out, because killing her on set would have lead to legal issues, but then again, what the fuck do I know,
The last time Cuthbert was partying in her hometown of Montreal, she had a security detail, thinking people actually give a fuck about her still and when a guy I know managed to sneak in and give her a flower as a joke, she snubbed him like she’s too fucking important to interact with the locals. Now, if you’ve ever been to montreal, you’d know that nothing here is “exclusive”. Homeless people party in the “hottest” clubs here and manage to get into the VIP rooms poppin’ bottles and I’m just tired of these Montreal sluts who leave the city to go onto bigger money and better things, coming back and acting like they are anything but the fucking white trash middle class suburban cunts we know they are.
They pretend they are too good for this shitty city, and maybe they are, I mean I’ve met ex strippers who are onto better things since leaving this city, but when they are here, they act like they are too big for the place and that they are doing me a fucking favor for visiting, like I give a fuck. I remember meeting this bitch from here, who had moved to LA a few years before and was visiting her parents over the holidays a couple years ago. After an hour of her talking about how great LA is and how well liked she is and how hooked up she is and how many celebrities she parties with and how amazing the clubs are, she turns to some falling apart stone building and asks me if it had aways been there, she was trying to be so fucking LA that she couldn’t be bothered to remember buildings in the city, or recognize something that’s been there for 300 fucking years, thinking that I’d be impressed with how sophisticated and Sex and the City she is for leaving the city because no one liked her here, and that I’d be impressed with how industry she is by being too important to remember here, when the truth is, I don’t give a fuck about Montreal and I don’t give a fuck about LA, I do give a fuck about being forced into tedious conversations with a piece of fucking shit of a person. Not that you do care…..because she wasn’t Cuthbert, in fact she was a total nobody, but I’m pretty sure they have the same attitude.
I guess the real sad thing in all this is that they couldn’t put out her double chin…..if I was more eager, I’d find the Cuthbert family home and hold a candlelight vigil for her career and her sex appeal, that shit would be number 1 on Youtube.
Posted in:Elisha Cuthbert|Fire
2008
11
Dec
I have decided that I am a hypocrite.I am inconsistent in all aspects of my life and like some things some days and hate them the next day. For the longest time I hated The Hills and everything it represented, I am sure I’ve mentioned it here a few times. But as the rest of the world started to catch onto the bullshit and started calling the cast out on living scripted lives, setting up staged everything, and paying the paparazzi to be there, all to perpetuate lies to the fans, I decided to start liking them.
It’s kind of like how skateboarding went gay in 1997 with Tony Hawk Pro Skater video games, making me hate everything about skateboarding in a matter of months when I started seeing Cha Chi motherfucker wearin’ skate shoes and I realized the fun was over, and now that everyone hates on The Hills, I need to start a fight to keep it around because watching Heidi and Spencer and their bullshit poses at a Christmas Tree farm, kissing under the misseltoe like they were in a shitty made for TV movie on the Hallmark Channel, or a low budget Christmas catalog, or even a scripted reality show, pretty much telling us all we’re fucking assholes for watching them act like assholes, the only thing these pictures is missing is them giving us the finger while counting their money, hopefully money they use to buy Spencer some testosterone for Christmas so bitch can grow a full beard instead of this teenage pervert shit…
Either way, here’s their performance and it warms my heart and if you want to get me something for Christmas, the only thing on my list is “The Hills Box Set” or even a signed picture from this power couple since I am officially their number 1 fan. Thanks.
Posted in:Christmas|Heidi Montag|Spencer Pratt
2008
11
Dec
Here are The Kardashian’s celebrating the unveiling the building sized bare ass of her beast of a sister for Peta, like the shit’s that big of a fucking deal, I mean sure Peta is the first to ever ask Khloe Kardashian to get naked without being drunk, but it’s not that big of a fucking deal. What is a big deal is that at the end of this video they are shooting a segment for the People’s Choice awards, thanking the people for nominating or voting for the Kardashians, and I don’t really know what that means, but I assume it means those fuckers are going to be around another fucking year and if I had may way, I’d like to personally meet every single fan of this show and figure out what the fuck is wrong with them by raping some sense into them.
Bonus – Here’s a clip of her signing autographs, acting like she’s all fucking bothered and too busy for the little people (everyone compared to her), while inside we know she’s fuckin’ loving the fact that people are desperate enough to ask for her autograph because she’s the only person on TV they ran into on their trip to LA.
Posted in:Kardashians|Khloe Kardashian|PETA
2008
11
Dec
I get asked randomly by the one person who cares, who I find hot in Hollywood because I pretty much rip all of these sluts apart like a bitter loser who can’t get the hot popular girl in school, so instead plot to school shoot the fucking place up and teach them that I exist. The truth is, I don’t really find any celebrities hot. I don’t think regular, everyday girls should compare themselves to these whores, because all I see is fake, insecure, fabricated, superficial, shallow, empty sell outs who are only famous because they weren’t loved enough in their youth and because they weren’t the pretty girl in the class or the favorite of their daddy, and that’s normally a turn on, but not when they get to this level of fame and everyone sucks their dick, clouding their judgement, making them believe they are more important than they actually are…..
That said, I’d probably fuck them all, but then again I don’t really have standards, and I never turn down pussy, but Carmen Electra’s always been one of my favorites, she’s got sex appeal and 15 years after first hitting, still has sex appeal and turns out she’s doing Playboy January 2009, sure we’ve all seen it before, but I’m always down to see more.
You liked that poem, admit it, homo.
Posted in:Carmen Electra|Playboy
2008
11
Dec
Jennifer Aniston is naked in GQ because getting naked is what you do when you want to get noticed, at least it’s what I do when I want to get noticed by teenage girls on the subway.
She is living out the dream many guys have for their ex-girlfriends after their hearts are broken by them, you know the whole, you’ll see one day I’ll be famous or rich and you’ll be kicking yourself in the ass for leaving me, only she was on the one who was cheated on and dumped and just wanted to stay together and have a family with him, so maybe he’s success since the divorce is not the same thing at all.
I guess he was always just out of her league as far as fame, success, media attention and public interest goes. I always thought it was a weird union in the first place, you know a movie star getting involved with a sitcom star, it just didn’t make sense to me. I just thought was a cover-up, since he is an actor, for an all night, all male orgy at Tom Cruise’s house that he was sure he was caught taking part in, and getting with the first desperate, barely hot, but decent for a Greek girl and that’s just because I know she takes it up the ass, because that ass she takes it up looks maternal and wholesome, and that ass is represented by the same PR guy who is trying to make stars out of all his clients to pay for his home in Malibu, despite that ass being barren and a garbage can for random men the last 4 years of recovery after the lottery she thought she won and the princess fairytale she almost secured by some serious manipulation dissolved in Angelina Jolie’s pussy and turned into 4 babies that don’t belong to Aniston….
In a lot of ways, it must be a lot like having a knife shoved in her uterus everytime see sees Pitt and Jolie in the media which luckily is every 2 minutes, because we know Aniston will lose this Clockwork Orange sanity test that is entertainment news and end up doin’ something fuckin’ crazy and fuckin’ crazy is always fuckin’ fun for us. Or maybe she’ll just get the fuck over it, like someone who isn’t so self involved and feeling sorry for her poor rich self…and will move the fuck on with her pathetic life….but I guess the only reason people care about her or are talking about her is because she hasn’t so it’s all part of her strategy to stay relevent and here she is naked in GQ.
Posted in:Jennifer Aniston|Nude
