I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

27

Oct

Annalynne McCord in Some Halloween Costume of the Day

Her name is Annalynne McCord and she’s been pretty busy trying to make her famous, that she didn’t realize that Halloween was next week. Actually, it’s possible that she just dresses like this all the time, because it gets people to look at her, and let’s face it, the only reason she wanted to be an actress on shit like 90210, is because she wanted people to look at her, it’s some kind of daddy issue that went all wrong, because daddy issues that have gone right lead girls to getting naked and giving back alley blowjobs, and not back to my house blowjobs, because the daddy issues that lead to back alley blowjobs, are usually daddy issues that involve being molested by daddy, and when you want to get off, sometimes that kind of daddy issue is just way too much to handle, especially when she’s on your bathroom floor crying and convulsing about how broken down she is, smokin’ some rock and asking why the one man she should have trusted went too far and why the one man who was supposed to protect her, hurt her so much, as I’m trying to get her to shut the fuck up because my wife may be a sound sleeper, but definitely not that sound of a sleeper, so instead, we’ll just forget about the hot shower and get it done here, kind of daddy issues.

Either way, Annalynne reminds us of what we’re going to be getting ourselves into in just 5 days time, I am planning on seeing at least 6 bare vaginas over the course of the weekend, and more if the people at Playboy pull through by paying for me and a guest to come down to their Playboy Mansion party, I just need to find someone who works there to make it happen and in the meantime, here’s Annalynne McCord, someone, I’ve never heard of until today, so I guess her plan’s working…

Posted in:Annalynne McCord|Halloween|Slut

2008

27

Oct

Nicole Richie’s Got Some Titties of the Day

I hate Nicole RIchie. I like to think she’s my enemy. First she annoyed me on the Simple Life, even though she was the funny one on the show, because compared to Paris Hilton, anything is funny, even the immigrant kid in my building who is learning english by watching reruns of Friends and reciting the bad jokes from that show, in bad english, which may not be a great comparison, because after writing that out, I realized how funny that immigrant kid actually is and I should get him on camera making his Chandler jokes, because it could be the next huge viral video, I’m talking Chris Crocker big, and it may make me famous….or at least famous enough to be a cunt like this Nicole Richie adopted child no one wanted and Lionel felt bad for….

Nicole Richie is responsible for DJ AM’s fame and success and I hate that he is famous. I also had the chance to meet her 5 years ago, when she was with DJ AM in Montreal and security thought I was friends with the couple for some reason and brought me to her. She was too stupid to realize I had no business ther and assumed I was friends with DJ AM or some shit and I spent the night being carted around with her and some publicist chick. Everytime I made conversation with her, since it was just me and her in the booth, she acted like a cunt to me and would talk to me through the publicist and smoke cigarette after cigarette doing everything she could to ignore me, until she caught me trying to swipe her phone, something that at the time, would have provided lots of content for the site and it made her mad, when I tried to explain that I just wanted to prank text Lohan, she asked security to keep me away from her and that was the end of our love affair….and the start of my hatred.

So when I was sent her phone number a while back, I’d send mean spirited text messages to her in hopes of getting my revenge, but she took herself too seriously and changed her number a few hours later….because I guess she was too busy getting knocked up by one of the Good Charlotte sister’s suburban mall tattoos, despite them only really loving each other, and for some reason, she’s suddenly got tits and I guess no one really cares about her and tits aren’t going to change that, it’s not like they make her hot, or worth fucking, so I haven’t quit figured out why I am posting this.

Posted in:Nicole Richie|Tits

2008

27

Oct

Kristin Cavallari Gets into the Wrong Car of the Day

Kristin Cavallari was out getting stalked by the paparzzi despite not having anything going on in her career. She was the genius who didn’t agree to do The Hills after MTV decided to do a spinoff of the show she starred on called Laguna Beach. I am not sure why she decided against The Hills, maybe she wanted to get her life back, or maybe she thought she had talent that was worthy of getting actual acting roles, instead of playing herself in scripted reality show, but who really cares, especially considering no one really gives a shit about her, we’re too busy hating her “friends” while making them all get richer and richer despite hoping they cancel that smut they are in so Heidi can go back to suckin’ dick in dormrooms where she belongs….

Either way, the paparazzi as her about politics and she gets confused, blows them off and gets into the wrong fucking car, because the paparazzi have the same BMW as she does. Sure, Kristin Cavallari doesn’t fully deserve a BMW of her own, since she’s kinda a joke of a celebrity, but the paparazzi definitely don’t deserve a fucking BMW. That just goes to show you that the prices they try to get me to pay for pictures are way too fuckin’ high, when the immigrant asshole crawling through garbage to get the pics is driving a luxury german automobile.

The whole thing offends me, not because I can’t afford to drive a BMW, but because the paparazzi clearly make enough money as paparazzi to let my site slide for posting their images, because deeper pocket paying the bills for them, while I don’t make money doin’ this shit. It’s like charity work.

The truth is that I am happy not making money and driving my neighbor’s 80’s Hyundai when my wife needs to do errands or go to the doctor, but that’s just because seeing her squeeze into an Asian 4 speed hatchback piece of shit is fucking hysterical and seeing how long it takes her to get out, is one of the great joys in my life.

Posted in:Kristin Cavallari|Paparazzi

2008

27

Oct

Traci Bingham’s Nipples Brings Out the Trash of the Day

You know you are dealing with a quality chick when she no only brings out the trash and doesn’t get on your ass about doing it for her, but also color coordinates her outfit to the trash can and makes sure that the shirt she is wearing is a revealing as possible. It reminds me of a time I stumbled upon a nudist camp years ago because I heard all about it and wanted to see everyday nudist pussy, but instead got there, only to find 60 year old men standing by a BBQ talking about Golf, because seeing people do everyday things naked or half naked is not always hot, somethings, just don’t translate into being masturbation worthy, because all I can think about is the used condoms, dirty tampons, dog shit, rotting food, and other disgustingness she produced, you know smelling bad and all over her hands, not that she’s the kind of girl who uses condoms, or like that’d stop me from sniffing her trash, but you know this is a shitty photo-op.

I was at Wal Mart earlier today, because they rollback prices, and I saw a 400 pound woman shopping for garbage bags. She put so much thought into the shit that it looked like she was out buying a summer dress or something. She was pulling out the bags and sizing them up against her body and that’s when I realized, that she wasn’t lookin for a place that would fit all the table scraps from her really large meals, but instead, something that she could use for underwear because the store didn’t have any in her size. Sure, I gave her some credit for creativity, but the overall vibe of the experience was pretty disgusting….

Traci Bingham’s not quite as disgusting as the garbage bag woman was, because despite her plastic surgery and stupid tits, she’s not fat and she looks like she knows that just wouldn’t bother wearing panties, if she couldn’t find panties that fit, something that the 400 pound woman’s boyfriend and everyone who knows her’s worst nightmare, becuase the whole plastic bag idea was theirs and was in efforts to mask the smell of her kitchen garabge vagina they’ve been forced to deal with, everytime she walks in the room.

Posted in:Garbage|Nipples|Traci Bingham

2008

27

Oct

Jennifer Hudson’s Family Murder Update of the Day

I have been following the Jennifer Hudson drama, so as you know my dreamgirl who is anything but a dream…Jennifer Hudson ran into a bit of a brick wall this past weekend. Her mom and brother were killed in what looks like their ghetto house, and her nephew’s gone missing in their ghetto car.

They have a dude who is assumed to be her big and I mean really big, like fatter version of Jennifer Hudson big, sister’s husband in custody, who after some research seems to be an opportunist preying on a fat girl with a famous sister to better his life and career after spending 7 years in jail for attempted murder and stealing a car, because fat girl are easy and famous sisters make them worth having sex with, despite how fucking gross the sex may be…..

He lived in the family home, because attempted murderers is what all families need to let move in, you know, to feel safe at night. Like a guard dog that really sucks when you end up dead, not that this guy did it but ya know, the lights on the dashboard are pretty fuckin’ green, whatever that means…..

It was said that he stole and sold his sisters car and that started a fight that lead to death threats towards her family, which seems normal, I mean if you steal someone’s car and sell it behind their back, it only makes sense to kill their family too, but none of that is confirmed it’s all speculation and I am being sarcastic, when you steal a car and sell it, taking the money and running, is usually a more normal exit strategy..

They haven’t found the 7 year old nephew yet but Jennifer Hudson is putting out 100,000 dollars for his safe return, probably a fraction of her worth, but it is the recession and people would probably sell their first born child to a third world country sweatshop to pay off their foreclosed house….so I guess it’s a nice enough gesture…..even though she’s not willing to go into debt over this little mess, and even though 100,000 is not very much to value your nephew at, despite your sister’s ability to create more nephews with convicted killers in the short to long term.

There is no doubt that this is a tragedy in her life, but I think this kind of thing happens all the time, just not in my ghetto, but people only care because it happened to a famous person and they feel like they know her because they watched her sing on American Idol and voted for her really plus sized ass, and I guess that’s fair enough…..

Either way, Flex Aka William Balfour is Jennifer Hudson’s Brother in Law, who is rumored to have stolen her sister’s car and threatened to kill her family and he has Myspace, this is what was posted there:

I AM A 26 YEAR OLD, I RESIDE ON THE SOUTH SIDE OF CHICAGO, I HAVE A WIFE HER NAME IS JULIA, AND I ALSO HAVE A 6 YR OLD STEPSON, I DON’T TOLERATE BULLSHIT, SO DON’T COME TO ME WITH IT, I LIKE TO LIVE LIFE AND EXPERIENCE EVERYTHING THATS WHY I’M HERE SEEING WHAT IT’S ABOUT, I MIGHT AS WELL LET YOU ALL KNOW THAT JENNIFER HUDSON IS MY WIFE’S SISTER I’M PROUD OF HER AND WISH HER NOTHING BUT THE BEST IN WHAT SHE DO BUT DON’T HIT ME UP ASKING BOUT HER, OTHER THAN THAT IT’S ON!

The only reason he would announce who his wife’s sister is is because he wants people to know and he wants people to ask him questions and he probably wants a hotter wife and that’s totally understandable….remember he isn’t the confirmed killer, but seriously fuckin’ suspect….

Check Out His Myspace
GO

Jennfier Hudson’s Sister Also has Myspace this is what I ripped off of it….

LETS SEE IM 29 YEARS OLD I HAVE ONE CHILD AND I’M ALWAYS BORED, I LOVE TO HAVE FUN EVEN START A LITTLE S*** HERE AND THEIR i HAVE TWO YOUNGER SIBLINGS MY SISTER IS JENNIFER HUDSON YES THEY JENNIFER HUDSON AND MY BROTHER IS JASON

And she filled out a little survey on it:

Do you Shower Daily?
I BETTER

Your Weakness?
GOOD DICK

Your Perfect Pizza?
DOUBLE SAUSAGE WITH BACON AND MUSHROOMS

Do You Think You Are Attractive?
AND YOU KNOW I DO

Are You a Health Freak?
HELL TO THE NAWH

In the Past Month Have You Eaten Sushi?
YEAH I LIKE THAT SHIT

Have You Ever Eaten a Box of Oreos?
NOPE MAYBE CHIPS AHOY

Ever Been Called a Tease?
GOT A PUSSY DON’T I

Ever been Beaten U?
AS A KID YEAH

Want to Have Kids?
WHETER I WANTED TO OR NOT HIS ASS IS HERE

In a Boy/ Girl…
Short or Long Hair?

LONG

Weight?
165-210

Best Clothing Style?
HOOD

And she’s got a description of who she wants to meet….

BI,OR STRAIGHT I DON’T CARE I’M JUST LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO HAVE FUN WITH BUT I’M STRICTLY WELL YOU SHOULD KNOW THE REST BUT YOU CAN BE WHATEVER THE HELL YOU CHOOSE TO BE TO KICK IT WITH ME

I could make fun of eat and every one of those things, but I’ll keep it classy, or at least classy in comparison to these 2, which isn’t very hard considering other things classier than them include: having sex with relatives and smoking crack out of a lightbulb and not tinfoil, but I will say that it is nice to see her desperation for cock got the family into a whole fuckin’ mess….allegedly…

Check Out Her Myspace
GO

Here are some pictures I’ve ripped off of there for you, I am not making fun of her, just showing you who she is and the most important thing is if you have any information on this kid, do something about it, because he is only 7 fuckin’ years old and doesn’t deserve to get sucked into this whole insanity.

I feel bad for the family and the little fucker. Statistics say he won’t be coming home, I’m hoping he’s being held for ransom, so let’s hope that at the very least whoever did this shit gets what he fuckin’ deserves because jokes aside, I don’t wish death upon any human, except maybe casually towards my wife when she nags me, but I don’t really consider her a human, she’s just too big and worthless for that, but that doesn’t matter, what matters is that this girl lost her baby and that is worse than losing her mom and brother and I find it all pretty fuckin’ sad…..even if I hate Jennifer Hudson’s music….

UPDATE: A body was found in the stolen SUV, it is assumed to be the kid’s body. Really bad fuckin’ news, but I can’t say I didn’t expect this to be the outcome, because I did, but that doesn’t mean this isn’t really horrible news….


To Read the Story
GO

Posted in:Jennifer Hudson|Murders

2008

27

Oct

Who’s Nailin Paylin Full NSFW Scene of the Day

I don’t consider myself a porn site, but since this shit is politcal I feel like there’s no real harm in posting this clip from Sarah Palin parody porn called Nailin Paylin, that will be Hustler’s biggest selling movie of all time, because guys and girls a like will want to see it, and from my experience, if you get a girl to sit through a porn, and not blow it off as disgusting or offensive in the first few minutes, you have a higher chance of getting laid, so it makes for a real good excuse to bust this out for a girl on a first date, provided you ever get any of those….because it will make them fuck you. There’s just something about watching people fuck that makes everyday people want to fuck better than what they just say, I guess it’s competitiveness.

This clip is about 2 russians coming to see her and ending up cumming on her face, I don’t know how true to life this is, considering Palin has 5 kids, and probably doesn’t like any load to go to waste on her glasses, but instead likes it all in her womb, but it’s a fuckin’ porn, you can’t expect them to get all the facts straight and if this was true to life, it’d be a lot less fun to watch, you know with her down’s syndrome baby always ruining the mood by running it’s helmet head into the wall everytime they start getting it on.

I don’t know what I am talking about, but I figure, this video really needs no intro or write up, so I haven’t figured out why I just bothered with one. WATCH IT…

Posted in:Nailin Paylin|Porn|Sarah Palin

2008

24

Oct

stepLINKS of the Day

It turns out my wife’s dog is a bit of a pussy magnet. I always heard that babies and puppies got girls to talk to you but I didn’t really believe it because I’ve never had either. Today, when walking the fucker at least 5 girls came up to me to chat, now you may not understand that this doesn’t happen to me ever, usually girls cross the street when they see me coming, but here I am being chatted up by hot 20 year olds, like I am not a creepy motherfucker. It’ll be a sad day for this dog, the day I leave him in a field somewhere to replace him with a new puppy, because I just realized him pissing on my shoes and pretty much everywhere else, is fuckin’ worth it. I am just sad that all these years I thought the “come over to see my puppy” kidnapper van shit was urban legend. What a waste of vagina…

Speaking of waste, here are my links…

Get Sex This Weekend, Because The Elementary School Playground Will Be Ghost Towns Until Monday….All in the Privacy of your Own Home…that you Don’t Plan on Leaving Anyway….
GO

Get Ready for the Cage Fight of the Century
GO

The Trailer For the Notorious BIG Movie
Yes, It’s Worse Than You Think
GO

Marisa Miller Playing Some Baseball in a Slutty Outfit….
GO

Cheryl Tweedy Does Her Coochie Ups and Downs
GO

Weng Weng The Superstar
GO

Paris Hilton’s My New BFF Makes Shitty TV Even Shittier
GO

Miss San Jose Sex Tape Throwback
GO

Britney Gets a Pumpkin, Ya’ll! Too bad there was no Pie…
GO

I Know I’m Not One to Point Fingers or Anything, But You Gotta Lose Some Fucking Weight
GO

Alicia Witt Gives a Hot Lap Dance
GO

Panty Theif!
GO

5 Things That Have Been Been Found in the Skin of Fat People
GO

Coco – Huge Camel Toe
GO

Probably The Meanest Prank Ever
GO

Lohan Career At an All Time Low
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Rude Awakening, Because You Should Never Trust Your Friends
GO

Depress-A-Me Street
GO

Olivia Munn Want You to Celebrate Halloween With Her
GO

Jamie is Your School Girl Fantasy
GO

Beach Boobs Make Me Smile
GO

Lindsay Price Makes Friday Easier cuz She’s Worth a Fuck…..
GO

Marc Anthony is Trying to Run JLO’s Life
GO

I Think It’s Time to Check Into AA Sweetheart
GO

How About a Chicken Playing Pool
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

BMX Homo Take a Spill
GO

My Best Friend is My Penis
GO

I Had Actually Just Assumed that Michael Jackson Was Dead
GO

Pole Dancing Pussy
GO

Memphis Monroe is All You Need
GO

Topless Blonde Really Doesn’tNeed More Explaination
GO

CoCo’s Camel Toe is So Big, She Must Have Orgamsms Every 5 Seconds
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

When Two Skanks Collide
GO

Juliette Lewis is Beat
GO

Seth Rogan Describes The Worst Porn He’s Ever Seen
GO

Harry Potter Shows His Hairy Penis in Video
GO

Jenna Jameson Hates Bloggers
GO

Some Pictures of Michael Jackson Shopping for Toys for Halloween….
GO

Sharpies Mean Business
GO

British Guard Laugh In
GO

Bowling With Veronica
GO

I Don’t Watch 2 and a Half Men, But I’m Starting to Think I Should
GO

Let’s Laugh at a Giant Dildo Being Removed From Someones Ass Togethers
GO

Do the Cash Machine Con
GO

Adriana Lima Throwback
GO

Fattest Pussy Ever
GO

PEEING PORN REVIEWS AND PREVIEWS

Pee Pee Babes
GO

Piss Hunters….
GO

Sneaky Pee
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Naked Girl in the Bath
GO

Some Teen Lesbian Shit…
GO

Some Fake Titty Blondie Has Her Bra Showin….
GO

Also…..

ENTER THE EAGLES OF DEATH METAL FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN TICKETS, BACKSTAGE PASSES AND TIME WITH THE BAND….
GO

WATCH PARIS HILTON’S BFF’S RE-ENACT 2 GIRLS, 1 CUP…..Weirdness…

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

24

Oct

RIP MOTHERFUCKER the Jennifer Hudson Edition of the Day

Jennifer Hudson didn’t die, her mother and her brother did. They were found shot to death in what police think is a domestic dispute. I can only assume Jennifer Hudson is destroyed by this and it probably wouldn’t be right to crack any black people die in the ghetto jokes, especially considering these black folk are rich.

According to the Chicago Tribune, a 7-year-old boy named Julian King is missing. Police would not say whether he is a relative of the actress. They are also looking for a white 1994 Chevrolet Suburban with Illinois license plate No. X584859 or a teal Chrysler Concorde four-door with the left front headlight hanging down

A 1994? This girl’s won an Oscar and has hit songs, couldn’t they get a newer car? But I guess that’s not really a major concern, considering her family was just murdered…and she is now an orphan.

So i if you see those cars, call the police….not that anyone who reads this site leaves their house, but I just felt it was my duty to throw it out there…

RIP motherfuckers, it’s a sad day for my Dreamgirl and there’s nothing funny about this kind of thing, this will destroy her, let’s hope her faith gets her through this, because she is really big on God, and I assume, she feels like God has let her down, and that usually leads to some major self destruction and/or suicide because her life is pretty much over and she will need lots of therapy to get through this, so let’s hope she survives.

On a side note, police are looking for William Barfour, Balfour listed Hudson’s mother’s address as a place of residence within the last year. According to the Illinois Department of Corrections website, Balfour is currently on parole after serving jail time for attempted murder.

Note to self, don’t let an attempted murderer move into my home, because it may end in murder.

This is a crazy story, a sad story and I hope they get the fucker and give him the death sentence, only instead of lethal injection or the chair, they have Hudson smother him with her big ol’ tits, cuz used the wrong way, those things are lethal…and if they do, let’s hope they videotape it because it may revolutionize porn.

Posted in:Dead|Jennifer Hudson|Mother|RIP Motherfucker

2008

24

Oct

Brittny Gastineau and Her Slutty Shirt of the Day

Here’s real life Gossip Girl Brittny Gastineau, some rich slut who has a football playing father, who spent her youth as a socialite, rich slut and is spending her time now trying to get a legitimate career in entertainment and she is doing that by showing up to an event wearing her lingerie for a shirt, when lingerie is supposed to be meant for strippers, Valentine’s Day and 25th anniversary bedroom celebrations, and the whole thing is just crazy.

I mean Halloween is next week, and girls go out in lingerie all the time, so maybe she’s getting a head start, but an insider told me that she’s dressing up like Paris Hilton in her sex tape, because when you’re a slut in everyday life, Halloween can only take 2 routes and they are dressing wholesome for the irony of it, or going balls out and getting naked.

So she may be a week early in this get-up, but I’m not complaining, I think lingerie should be mandatory business atire, despite how wild the concept is, and if I owned a company, that would be the law, but since I don’t own a company, because it would go bankrupt before it started, and because I’d be arrested in the first week for exposing myself to my staff because I’d make it clear that was part of their job description, despite it being against the law, I’ll just settle with these pictures of some rich socialite wearing her underwear as outerwear, because that concept is just wild.

What’s next? Usingsex toys in public, or bikinis in the winter, or socks for condoms, or plastic bags for shoes like the homeless dude down the street….I guess fashion is just way to crazy for me….assuming that this Brittny Gastineau character has any idea what fashion is, because I know I don’t.

Posted in:Brittny Gastineau|Lingerie|Shirt|Slut

2008

24

Oct

Blake Lively and a Shitty See Through of the Day

So Blake Lively is on the show Gossip Girls and she is supposed to play some kind of teenage slutty rich girl, but when lookin’ at these picutres she does look a day over 40. I don’t understand what happened to her, but I do know that throwing her in that weird strapless bra brings back more memories of underwear shopping with a grandmother than seeing a girl people are supposed to want to fuck in a see through shirt. All they need to is throw a cocktail in her hand, a cigarette in her mouth and a catalog of stories of unrequited love and extreme bitterness towards relationships, men and divorce and you’ve got the cashier who used to work with at a pharmacy, drunk and dolled up at our company Christmas party, only if I remember correctly, that night started with her similar white bra falling out of her dress repeatedly and ended with a pretty decent blowjob for someone who really hated men.

EIther way, here’s Blake Lively in a shitty see through dress showing off a stupid outdated bra.

Posted in:Blake Lively|See Through