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Sara Sampaio Shows Off her Pussy in Tight Pants Under the Guise that it is a Fitness Video of the Day

Industry Flesh Puppet Jessica Alba Propagandizes for the Machine of the Day

Sydney Sweeney is Glamour’s Woman of the Year of the Day

Paige Spiranac Feeling Herself Up of the Day

Margaret Qualley is Hot for an Ugly Chick of the Day

2008

Oct

Jennifer Hudson’s Family Murder Update of the Day

24 Comments »

I have been following the Jennifer Hudson drama, so as you know my dreamgirl who is anything but a dream…Jennifer Hudson ran into a bit of a brick wall this past weekend. Her mom and brother were killed in what looks like their ghetto house, and her nephew’s gone missing in their ghetto car.

They have a dude who is assumed to be her big and I mean really big, like fatter version of Jennifer Hudson big, sister’s husband in custody, who after some research seems to be an opportunist preying on a fat girl with a famous sister to better his life and career after spending 7 years in jail for attempted murder and stealing a car, because fat girl are easy and famous sisters make them worth having sex with, despite how fucking gross the sex may be…..

He lived in the family home, because attempted murderers is what all families need to let move in, you know, to feel safe at night. Like a guard dog that really sucks when you end up dead, not that this guy did it but ya know, the lights on the dashboard are pretty fuckin’ green, whatever that means…..

It was said that he stole and sold his sisters car and that started a fight that lead to death threats towards her family, which seems normal, I mean if you steal someone’s car and sell it behind their back, it only makes sense to kill their family too, but none of that is confirmed it’s all speculation and I am being sarcastic, when you steal a car and sell it, taking the money and running, is usually a more normal exit strategy..

They haven’t found the 7 year old nephew yet but Jennifer Hudson is putting out 100,000 dollars for his safe return, probably a fraction of her worth, but it is the recession and people would probably sell their first born child to a third world country sweatshop to pay off their foreclosed house….so I guess it’s a nice enough gesture…..even though she’s not willing to go into debt over this little mess, and even though 100,000 is not very much to value your nephew at, despite your sister’s ability to create more nephews with convicted killers in the short to long term.

There is no doubt that this is a tragedy in her life, but I think this kind of thing happens all the time, just not in my ghetto, but people only care because it happened to a famous person and they feel like they know her because they watched her sing on American Idol and voted for her really plus sized ass, and I guess that’s fair enough…..

Either way, Flex Aka William Balfour is Jennifer Hudson’s Brother in Law, who is rumored to have stolen her sister’s car and threatened to kill her family and he has Myspace, this is what was posted there:

I AM A 26 YEAR OLD, I RESIDE ON THE SOUTH SIDE OF CHICAGO, I HAVE A WIFE HER NAME IS JULIA, AND I ALSO HAVE A 6 YR OLD STEPSON, I DON’T TOLERATE BULLSHIT, SO DON’T COME TO ME WITH IT, I LIKE TO LIVE LIFE AND EXPERIENCE EVERYTHING THATS WHY I’M HERE SEEING WHAT IT’S ABOUT, I MIGHT AS WELL LET YOU ALL KNOW THAT JENNIFER HUDSON IS MY WIFE’S SISTER I’M PROUD OF HER AND WISH HER NOTHING BUT THE BEST IN WHAT SHE DO BUT DON’T HIT ME UP ASKING BOUT HER, OTHER THAN THAT IT’S ON!

The only reason he would announce who his wife’s sister is is because he wants people to know and he wants people to ask him questions and he probably wants a hotter wife and that’s totally understandable….remember he isn’t the confirmed killer, but seriously fuckin’ suspect….

Check Out His Myspace
GO

Jennfier Hudson’s Sister Also has Myspace this is what I ripped off of it….

LETS SEE IM 29 YEARS OLD I HAVE ONE CHILD AND I’M ALWAYS BORED, I LOVE TO HAVE FUN EVEN START A LITTLE S*** HERE AND THEIR i HAVE TWO YOUNGER SIBLINGS MY SISTER IS JENNIFER HUDSON YES THEY JENNIFER HUDSON AND MY BROTHER IS JASON

And she filled out a little survey on it:

Do you Shower Daily?
I BETTER

Your Weakness?
GOOD DICK

Your Perfect Pizza?
DOUBLE SAUSAGE WITH BACON AND MUSHROOMS

Do You Think You Are Attractive?
AND YOU KNOW I DO

Are You a Health Freak?
HELL TO THE NAWH

In the Past Month Have You Eaten Sushi?
YEAH I LIKE THAT SHIT

Have You Ever Eaten a Box of Oreos?
NOPE MAYBE CHIPS AHOY

Ever Been Called a Tease?
GOT A PUSSY DON’T I

Ever been Beaten U?
AS A KID YEAH

Want to Have Kids?
WHETER I WANTED TO OR NOT HIS ASS IS HERE

In a Boy/ Girl…
Short or Long Hair?

LONG

Weight?
165-210

Best Clothing Style?
HOOD

And she’s got a description of who she wants to meet….

BI,OR STRAIGHT I DON’T CARE I’M JUST LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO HAVE FUN WITH BUT I’M STRICTLY WELL YOU SHOULD KNOW THE REST BUT YOU CAN BE WHATEVER THE HELL YOU CHOOSE TO BE TO KICK IT WITH ME

I could make fun of eat and every one of those things, but I’ll keep it classy, or at least classy in comparison to these 2, which isn’t very hard considering other things classier than them include: having sex with relatives and smoking crack out of a lightbulb and not tinfoil, but I will say that it is nice to see her desperation for cock got the family into a whole fuckin’ mess….allegedly…

Check Out Her Myspace
GO

Here are some pictures I’ve ripped off of there for you, I am not making fun of her, just showing you who she is and the most important thing is if you have any information on this kid, do something about it, because he is only 7 fuckin’ years old and doesn’t deserve to get sucked into this whole insanity.

I feel bad for the family and the little fucker. Statistics say he won’t be coming home, I’m hoping he’s being held for ransom, so let’s hope that at the very least whoever did this shit gets what he fuckin’ deserves because jokes aside, I don’t wish death upon any human, except maybe casually towards my wife when she nags me, but I don’t really consider her a human, she’s just too big and worthless for that, but that doesn’t matter, what matters is that this girl lost her baby and that is worse than losing her mom and brother and I find it all pretty fuckin’ sad…..even if I hate Jennifer Hudson’s music….

UPDATE: A body was found in the stolen SUV, it is assumed to be the kid’s body. Really bad fuckin’ news, but I can’t say I didn’t expect this to be the outcome, because I did, but that doesn’t mean this isn’t really horrible news….

To Read the Story
GO

Posted in:Jennifer Hudson|Murders

2008

Oct

Who’s Nailin Paylin Full NSFW Scene of the Day

6 Comments »

I don’t consider myself a porn site, but since this shit is politcal I feel like there’s no real harm in posting this clip from Sarah Palin parody porn called Nailin Paylin, that will be Hustler’s biggest selling movie of all time, because guys and girls a like will want to see it, and from my experience, if you get a girl to sit through a porn, and not blow it off as disgusting or offensive in the first few minutes, you have a higher chance of getting laid, so it makes for a real good excuse to bust this out for a girl on a first date, provided you ever get any of those….because it will make them fuck you. There’s just something about watching people fuck that makes everyday people want to fuck better than what they just say, I guess it’s competitiveness.

This clip is about 2 russians coming to see her and ending up cumming on her face, I don’t know how true to life this is, considering Palin has 5 kids, and probably doesn’t like any load to go to waste on her glasses, but instead likes it all in her womb, but it’s a fuckin’ porn, you can’t expect them to get all the facts straight and if this was true to life, it’d be a lot less fun to watch, you know with her down’s syndrome baby always ruining the mood by running it’s helmet head into the wall everytime they start getting it on.

I don’t know what I am talking about, but I figure, this video really needs no intro or write up, so I haven’t figured out why I just bothered with one. WATCH IT…

Posted in:Nailin Paylin|Porn|Sarah Palin

2008

Oct

stepLINKS of the Day

6 Comments »

It turns out my wife’s dog is a bit of a pussy magnet. I always heard that babies and puppies got girls to talk to you but I didn’t really believe it because I’ve never had either. Today, when walking the fucker at least 5 girls came up to me to chat, now you may not understand that this doesn’t happen to me ever, usually girls cross the street when they see me coming, but here I am being chatted up by hot 20 year olds, like I am not a creepy motherfucker. It’ll be a sad day for this dog, the day I leave him in a field somewhere to replace him with a new puppy, because I just realized him pissing on my shoes and pretty much everywhere else, is fuckin’ worth it. I am just sad that all these years I thought the “come over to see my puppy” kidnapper van shit was urban legend. What a waste of vagina…

Speaking of waste, here are my links…

Get Sex This Weekend, Because The Elementary School Playground Will Be Ghost Towns Until Monday….All in the Privacy of your Own Home…that you Don’t Plan on Leaving Anyway….
GO

Get Ready for the Cage Fight of the Century
GO

The Trailer For the Notorious BIG Movie
Yes, It’s Worse Than You Think
GO

Marisa Miller Playing Some Baseball in a Slutty Outfit….
GO

Cheryl Tweedy Does Her Coochie Ups and Downs
GO

Weng Weng The Superstar
GO

Paris Hilton’s My New BFF Makes Shitty TV Even Shittier
GO

Miss San Jose Sex Tape Throwback
GO

Britney Gets a Pumpkin, Ya’ll! Too bad there was no Pie…
GO

I Know I’m Not One to Point Fingers or Anything, But You Gotta Lose Some Fucking Weight
GO

Alicia Witt Gives a Hot Lap Dance
GO

Panty Theif!
GO

5 Things That Have Been Been Found in the Skin of Fat People
GO

Coco – Huge Camel Toe
GO

Probably The Meanest Prank Ever
GO

Lohan Career At an All Time Low
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Rude Awakening, Because You Should Never Trust Your Friends
GO

Depress-A-Me Street
GO

Olivia Munn Want You to Celebrate Halloween With Her
GO

Jamie is Your School Girl Fantasy
GO

Beach Boobs Make Me Smile
GO

Lindsay Price Makes Friday Easier cuz She’s Worth a Fuck…..
GO

Marc Anthony is Trying to Run JLO’s Life
GO

I Think It’s Time to Check Into AA Sweetheart
GO

How About a Chicken Playing Pool
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

BMX Homo Take a Spill
GO

My Best Friend is My Penis
GO

I Had Actually Just Assumed that Michael Jackson Was Dead
GO

Pole Dancing Pussy
GO

Memphis Monroe is All You Need
GO

Topless Blonde Really Doesn’tNeed More Explaination
GO

CoCo’s Camel Toe is So Big, She Must Have Orgamsms Every 5 Seconds
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

When Two Skanks Collide
GO

Juliette Lewis is Beat
GO

Seth Rogan Describes The Worst Porn He’s Ever Seen
GO

Harry Potter Shows His Hairy Penis in Video
GO

Jenna Jameson Hates Bloggers
GO

Some Pictures of Michael Jackson Shopping for Toys for Halloween….
GO

Sharpies Mean Business
GO

British Guard Laugh In
GO

Bowling With Veronica
GO

I Don’t Watch 2 and a Half Men, But I’m Starting to Think I Should
GO

Let’s Laugh at a Giant Dildo Being Removed From Someones Ass Togethers
GO

Do the Cash Machine Con
GO

Adriana Lima Throwback
GO

Fattest Pussy Ever
GO

PEEING PORN REVIEWS AND PREVIEWS

Pee Pee Babes
GO

Piss Hunters….
GO

Sneaky Pee
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Naked Girl in the Bath
GO

Some Teen Lesbian Shit…
GO

Some Fake Titty Blondie Has Her Bra Showin….
GO

Also…..

ENTER THE EAGLES OF DEATH METAL FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN TICKETS, BACKSTAGE PASSES AND TIME WITH THE BAND….
GO

WATCH PARIS HILTON’S BFF’S RE-ENACT 2 GIRLS, 1 CUP…..Weirdness…

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

Oct

RIP MOTHERFUCKER the Jennifer Hudson Edition of the Day

7 Comments »

Jennifer Hudson didn’t die, her mother and her brother did. They were found shot to death in what police think is a domestic dispute. I can only assume Jennifer Hudson is destroyed by this and it probably wouldn’t be right to crack any black people die in the ghetto jokes, especially considering these black folk are rich.

According to the Chicago Tribune, a 7-year-old boy named Julian King is missing. Police would not say whether he is a relative of the actress. They are also looking for a white 1994 Chevrolet Suburban with Illinois license plate No. X584859 or a teal Chrysler Concorde four-door with the left front headlight hanging down

A 1994? This girl’s won an Oscar and has hit songs, couldn’t they get a newer car? But I guess that’s not really a major concern, considering her family was just murdered…and she is now an orphan.

So i if you see those cars, call the police….not that anyone who reads this site leaves their house, but I just felt it was my duty to throw it out there…

RIP motherfuckers, it’s a sad day for my Dreamgirl and there’s nothing funny about this kind of thing, this will destroy her, let’s hope her faith gets her through this, because she is really big on God, and I assume, she feels like God has let her down, and that usually leads to some major self destruction and/or suicide because her life is pretty much over and she will need lots of therapy to get through this, so let’s hope she survives.

On a side note, police are looking for William Barfour, Balfour listed Hudson’s mother’s address as a place of residence within the last year. According to the Illinois Department of Corrections website, Balfour is currently on parole after serving jail time for attempted murder.

Note to self, don’t let an attempted murderer move into my home, because it may end in murder.

This is a crazy story, a sad story and I hope they get the fucker and give him the death sentence, only instead of lethal injection or the chair, they have Hudson smother him with her big ol’ tits, cuz used the wrong way, those things are lethal…and if they do, let’s hope they videotape it because it may revolutionize porn.

Posted in:Dead|Jennifer Hudson|Mother|RIP Motherfucker

2008

Oct

Brittny Gastineau and Her Slutty Shirt of the Day

3 Comments »

Here’s real life Gossip Girl Brittny Gastineau, some rich slut who has a football playing father, who spent her youth as a socialite, rich slut and is spending her time now trying to get a legitimate career in entertainment and she is doing that by showing up to an event wearing her lingerie for a shirt, when lingerie is supposed to be meant for strippers, Valentine’s Day and 25th anniversary bedroom celebrations, and the whole thing is just crazy.

I mean Halloween is next week, and girls go out in lingerie all the time, so maybe she’s getting a head start, but an insider told me that she’s dressing up like Paris Hilton in her sex tape, because when you’re a slut in everyday life, Halloween can only take 2 routes and they are dressing wholesome for the irony of it, or going balls out and getting naked.

So she may be a week early in this get-up, but I’m not complaining, I think lingerie should be mandatory business atire, despite how wild the concept is, and if I owned a company, that would be the law, but since I don’t own a company, because it would go bankrupt before it started, and because I’d be arrested in the first week for exposing myself to my staff because I’d make it clear that was part of their job description, despite it being against the law, I’ll just settle with these pictures of some rich socialite wearing her underwear as outerwear, because that concept is just wild.

What’s next? Usingsex toys in public, or bikinis in the winter, or socks for condoms, or plastic bags for shoes like the homeless dude down the street….I guess fashion is just way to crazy for me….assuming that this Brittny Gastineau character has any idea what fashion is, because I know I don’t.

Posted in:Brittny Gastineau|Lingerie|Shirt|Slut

2008

Oct

Blake Lively and a Shitty See Through of the Day

No Comments »

So Blake Lively is on the show Gossip Girls and she is supposed to play some kind of teenage slutty rich girl, but when lookin’ at these picutres she does look a day over 40. I don’t understand what happened to her, but I do know that throwing her in that weird strapless bra brings back more memories of underwear shopping with a grandmother than seeing a girl people are supposed to want to fuck in a see through shirt. All they need to is throw a cocktail in her hand, a cigarette in her mouth and a catalog of stories of unrequited love and extreme bitterness towards relationships, men and divorce and you’ve got the cashier who used to work with at a pharmacy, drunk and dolled up at our company Christmas party, only if I remember correctly, that night started with her similar white bra falling out of her dress repeatedly and ended with a pretty decent blowjob for someone who really hated men.

EIther way, here’s Blake Lively in a shitty see through dress showing off a stupid outdated bra.

Posted in:Blake Lively|See Through

2008

Oct

Show Your Heart On For Eagles of Death Metal of the Day

8 Comments »

I am running a contest on the site. This is an exciting day for all of us, especially if you are a fan of Eagles of Death Metal and into exploiting yourself on a minimal level to win.

Who?

Eagles of Death Metal are a band. If you’ve never heard of them or want to hear their music Check Their Myspace.

Their Tour Starts October 30. And you can win a chance for you and a friend to get into their show, get backstage and hang with them and by hang with them I mean try to seduce them like the groupies you are. This could be your meal ticket.

How do you win ?

Take a sexy picture or video that ties into the band, ideally one better than the first enty I got earlier today. That means write their name on your body parts, do a dance to their song, film an amateur porn with a picture of the band taped to your girlfriends face. Get creative. I want this shit to inspire me.

Then send in a sexy picture, video, link to a picture, link to a video to email hotline (at) drunkenstepfather.com for me to choose the winner of the week.

Rules:

-The picture/video must be of you or taken by you
-The sexiest/funniest/most creative entry wins
-You Have to Choose the Date and Location You Want to Attend and You Have to Get Yourself There….and include that in the email…

Let me say that again,

– You Have to Choose the Date and Location You Want to Attend and You Have to Get Yourself There….and include that in the email…

One more time,

-You Have to Choose the Date and Location You Want to Attend and You Have to Get Yourself There….and include that in the email…

-I will be choosing the winners.
-I will be posting the entries on the site

Let me say that again,

-I will be choosing the winners.
-I will be posting the entries on the site

Prize:

1- 2 tickets to the Eagles of Death Metal concert of your choice
2- 2 backstage passes to the Eagles of Death Metal concert of your choice.
3- Some time to meet the band, or some of the band, I won’t be there, so you’ll have to figure it all out on your own, but the label tells me you’ll get to meet the band

I am giving out 1 prize pack per week, on every friday for the length of the tour, so if you see your city/town that you want to attend on their Myspace, your best bet is to submit the week before the concert date. Since we’re doing multiple winners and no one reads the site, your chances of winning are pretty fucking high.

So start sending in your entries to to email hotline (at) drunkenstepfather.com

Posted in:Contest|Eagles of Death Metal|Tits

2008

Oct

Allegra Versace’s Pretty Skinny of the Day

6 Comments »

Monster Donatella Versace brought out her own little Halloween creation to some fashion event the other day and I am not talking about her face, I am talking about her daughter Allegra who has been battling eating disorders for a long time, probably because her mother is fucking crazy and she had to put up with that shit her entire life, but who’s pointing fingers, when you’re this skinny, your can use your knees and elbows to point at things, they are sharp and really drive the point home.

As an endorser of eating disorders, I have been trying to get my wife into one for a long fucking time and I think it’s safe to say that this girl has gone a little above and beyond the normal range of starving yourself, to the point where she’s not a hot skinny, but an offensive skinny, but figured I’d post this shit for the anorexic porn fetish people out there, because you love how big your dick looks next to her leg, and you love that her low blood sugar and energy levels make it impossible for her to run away from you….and I guess what it comes down to is at least she’s not fat. So instead of hating on her disorder, we should embrace it and ask her for nudes, because I always wondered what a girl this skinny’s vagina looks like. I am thinking, pretty fleshy, with a little uterus stickin’ it’s tongue out at us, but I really don’t know for sure and that is the real tragedy in seeing these pictures…especially since her heart will explode in the next couple months.

I guess this is a pre-RIP motherfucker post, unless girl smartens the fuck up and eats some motherfuckin’ food, it’s not like she can’t afford a fuckin’ burger.

Posted in:Allegra Versace|Eating Disorders

2008

Oct

Heidi Klum Does Victoria’s Secret Make Up of the Day

No Comments »

I guess that despite Heidi Klum’s fame and fortune she still belongs to Victoria’s Secret because here she is in pixie wings and posing with a slutty mannequin at their make-up launch. I guess it’s just a small price to pay since they saved her from a life of German Scat porn, an existence nobody really wants, because despite your love for it, getting shit on is never fun or sexy. It’s like that time I saved a girl from getting hit by a car when she was talking on her cellphone and demanded that she lets me see her naked as payment for my good deed, only in this case, Heidi Klum actually listens, where the girl I saved just called her boyfriend and told him some creep tried to get her naked because he pulled her from traffic when she was crossing the street on a green. Hey no one said my idea of saving lives is the same as your idea of saving lives, and in retrospect it was a pretty weak attempt to see pussy, but that’s not the point, the point is that I wonder what that mannequin she’s standing next to is named, she looks like she wouldn’t say no…..no matter how many fingers you’ve shoved in the hole you drilled into her after stealing her from the mall and bringing her back to your mom’s basement with you.

Posted in:Heidi Klum|Make-Up|Victoria's Secret

2008

Oct

Travis Barker After the Great Leg Fire of the Day

8 Comments »

These are the first real pictures of Travis Barker after a month stint in the hospital trying to deal with the horrible burns that he got after being in a plane crash that killed 5 people, just not the right people, I’m talking to you DJ AM. I am just bugging, I don’t wish death upon anyone, I figure it’s just nice to see that this mother fucker is out walking around because I think he’s a real talent. No one plays the drums quite like him and after being in hospital for a month, these pictures could be seen as inspirational and gross, because if I was burned on half my body, I’d make an effort to not advertise that shit, like the time I was at a restaurant and a dude with one of those voicebox things pulled out his fucking throat piece to eat right next to me, making me enjoy my shitty meal a hell of a lot less. We get it, life goes on and we have to deal with our shit, but trying to accommodate to the people around you is just the right thing to do…..I am talking to you guy who lives in the building next door and who insists on walking around in pantyhose……with your blinds open….smiling….cuz you know we’re all watching you in disgust….and you feel like you’re on some kind of stage performing for your fucking fans…..stop.

Either way, as Travis limps in his silly slippers, with his legs that once was covered in ink, DJ AM is touring with Jay Z, banging Mandy Moore and getting all kinds of sympathy from the world, so I guess he is the winner of the plane crash survival bet they had….and I guarantee at least one Barker fan is pouring gasoline on his leg right now, to simulate this body mod, since all the Barker fully body tattoo suit he copied is now pretty much obsolete…..

Posted in:Fire|Plane Crash|Travis Barker