My wife got wasted for the first time in a long time, she was out drinking vodka with one of her friends celebrating the 4th of July, she’s a little slow because not only is she a week late, but she’s also not American. I thought it was going to be a really nice change of pace for us, since I am usually the only drunk one in the house and I figured it’d be fun to have my wife drunk with me, I just thought we’d get along better and she’d stop her constant nagging and we’d be able to joke around for a change and she’d be too drunk to complain about my inadequacies. I was wrong.

About 3 minutes after walking in the door, she went off about how I am a pussy and how I bully girls and how I am a disgusting person who doesn’t turn her on because I am a little man with a little penis and the thought of me fucking her makes her want to throw up, which she did end up doing shorty after. She said other hurtful things I don’t remember because I was drunk and I black out now, which turns out to be a good thing, I do remember ending up in a wresting match and her winning and me sleeping on the couch with a broken rib and a whole lot of shame, but here I am hungover and bringing you the links. I am nice like that…..

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This is what Birtish Soap stars look like in bikinis, an outfit unemployed British men everywhere probably prefer seeing these girls in, not because bikinis make life a better place, proven everytime my wife sits in my neighbor’s backyard under the sprinkler to keep cool in the summer, since the heat is like death for her and her heavily insulated body, and death for me, because of the smells that come with profuse sweating from her ass, but because some girls just look better naked than clothed. These girls have these cartoon lookin’ wonky faces that make me feel like I am watching some low budget british documentary on the longterm effects of unfiltered, mercury contaminated water near some steel factory in working class neighborhoods, but when you take off their clothes, they are totally worth fucking…from behind…to prevent nightmares, or permanent psychological damage that turns you homo.

Their names are Adele Silva and Verity Rushworth, in case you were wondering, which I doubt you were, because ugly faced girls have the ability to make hot bodies unfuckable and we hate them for that internal battle they cause us trying to figure out whether or not we can get really go through with watching theirn disgusting chompers eat dinner just to get in their their pants and that kind of debate shouldn’t happen when it comes to getting pussy.

If these bitches were nice, they let their bodies go south, to match their faces, that way we wouldn’t have to deal with these kinds of internal debates about whether we’d bang them or not because the truth is, despite how busted these girls are, they have an ego and false sense of what they look like and actually fancy themselves to be hot making the liklihood of you getting up in them, even if you don’t really want to and are just doing it because there are no hotter chicks around and a pussy is a pussy even if attached to shit, is impossible.

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