SFW Archives - Page 34 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2020

20

Jan

Chanel West Coast Trying her Best of the Day

Chanel West Coast knows she looks like shit but here she is trying her best to be sexy in some lingerie. That room probably smelled like takeout leftovers you forgot to throw out 6 months ago. The radiating smell of last week’s kitchen garbage filling the room via her ass….you know in a “she doesn’t need a vagina scented candle” to Pot Purri up her life…she’s got a vagina scented vagina…that may be a feces scented vagina to do that without any of the risks of accidentally burning down the house….but that come with other risks I’m sure.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Chanel West Coast|SFW

2020

20

Jan

Bella Thorne Tits Out for Fight Night of the Day

No Comments »

Apparently there was a big UFC fight this weekend, I don’t pay attention to any of that, because half naked dude on half naked dude wrestling doesn’t appeal to me, but I guess it appeals to Bella Thorne, because she brought her tits out…for what I assume is her sugar daddy….who after extensive research turns out to be some Scrapyard Millionaire from Upstate New York who is besties with Dan Bilzarian. Fascinating how social media provides me with so much information I have no fucking need or interest in.

I am only here for the Bella Thorne tits and even those aren’t anything inspiring..

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2020

20

Jan

Ariel Winter Butthole of the Day

No Comments »

Ariel Winter was out in some pretty ridiculous shorts, you know the kind of shorts you must wonder why even bother wearing shorts, because we can practially see your butthole.

I realize that you can’t actually see Ariel Winter’s actual butthole in these pics, you know because I know what a butt hole looks like, and even though I think Ariel Winter looks like a giant butt hole, and not in a good way, I can still say these are BUTTHOLE shorts if I want to.

The only feedback I get on this site is when I say things like “see through shirt” or “nipples” when it’s not fully see through enough for you perverts…so I wanted to make it very clear that I know you can’t see a butthole in these shorts…you autistic assholes who don’t understand anything figurative.

The more time we spend on the computer the more we become robots…and the more weight Ariel Winter loses the smaller the shorts get, but not necessarily the more revealing because even though when she was at her fattest, she wore shorts that showed as much of her gross ass as this.

I am not against the trend of walking around with your ass out, I like to stare at ass. I just don’t like that fecal matter is everywhere because you dirty sluts want to live a life with your asses hanging out. Smearing your assholes on anything you sit on….giving unsuspecting assholes like me pinkeye. It’s pretty rude and apparently it is also pretty vulgar.

Here she is working out

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS OF ARIEL WINTERS BUTTHOLE IN SHORT SHORTS CLICK HERE

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Ariel Winter|SFW

2020

17

Jan

Jojo Doing Splits on the Pole of the Day

No Comments »

Jojo is taking pole dancing class as an insurance policy since she’s running out of that Disney Child Star money and her comeback tour hasn’t been received as well as all the other child stars from her generation who are still able to mooch off the industry because they didn’t tap out of the industry and basically disappear from the industry for a decade only to come back to it….

I always found the appeal of Pole Dancing to moms and 30 year olds who don’t strip or ever want to strip weird.

I am generally turned off by any girl who takes pole dancing class because it’s just appropriation of actual strippers. More important they never show their pussies, so why are they doing it….for fitness? Take a fucking spin class…you don’t need to wear heels and booty shorts to SPIN….you are just a suburban bored slut who wants to be half naked for fitness because deep down all women want to be porn stars…they want to be jacked off to…that’s just coded into their DNA…which I guess doesn’t make it that bad, I should encourage it, not be mad at it….but the average pole dance class customer is someone who you usually understand why they are in pole dance class to be sexy…you know because they are so not sexy….

Here’s Jojo…and her insurance policy..always an earner once she masters this…and with her big tits, her taste of celebrity, it’s hardly as bad as when your mom’s doing it.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:JoJo|SFW

2020

17

Jan

January Jones Date Night Tits of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t find January Jones hot at all. People get mad when I say she’s not hot. I just watched a Series she’s on about Figure Skating that seems very Canadian and she reaffirmed her not being hot to me. I understand why whoever knocked her up – ran from the responsibility of being stuck to her – pay that bitch off because even her tits that she gets hype for aren’t even that great even when the dude who knocked her up was likely rich, or Jason Sudekis, who was just getting it in because why not….but not because she’s hot.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:January Jones|SFW

2020

17

Jan

Frida Aasen Skinny Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Frida Aasen and her long torso are out in bikinis….and since it’s fucking freezing here…this is enough to put me over the edge. It’s not aspirational, it’s just fucking taunting us, bragging, showing off…saying “Look how great my life is” and “you all suck”…I don’t feel any empathy or consideration to her fans…but in her defense I don’t fucking know who she is, I didn’t check her instagram out, and I don’t actually get angry when girls post bikini pics from nice places…I am perfectly satisfied living in my fucking cave being left the fuck alone…having access to every girl’s best version of themselves without actually having to interact with their actual self. Solid.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Frida Aasen|SFW

2020

16

Jan

Cayley King is Kinda Slutty in the Right Way of the Day

No Comments »

Cayley King is a young model, she’s with a legit agency, her boyfriend is Cindy Crawford’s son, and since we’ve seen what Cindy Crawford has done micromanaging her daughter’s career, it’s safe to say she micromanages what her son puts his dick inside, you know to make sure they pass her overbearing creepy mother who sexualized her daughter at 15, casting process.

There’s a lot of money and a lot of celebrity around the family and it’s important to make the barrier of entry one that is challenging to break through…so that they don’t get a bitch knocked up, crying rape, or extorting the family for some of the money they are hoarding….

That’s my theory anyway….and this Cayley King has passed all my casting couch fantasies too. She looks good, but then again, I may just be excited by youth thanks to all the brands using fucking zombie aged, back from the dead, mid 30 year old – 50 year old women in their slutty shoots because they don’t like new pussy…the way we like new pussy…cuz old dead pussy…is old dead pussy. If you know what I mean.

Posted in:Cayley King|SFW

2020

16

Jan

Sarah Hyland Stomach Scars Flasher of the Day

No Comments »

SCAR FETISH PORN…

FAILED KIDNEY PORN….

POSTING PANTY SELFIES CUZ YOU ARE ALL A BUNCH OF EXHIBITIONIST SLUT PORN…

Do you remember High School in the 80s (I do) when a girl would have a meltdown, like literally cry and never come back to school, if she happened to have her skirt blown up by the wind on lunch break, forcing everyone to see her ass in the biggest and thickest panties imaginable? I do…..I remember when girls in jeans would be HUMILIATED if you saw the top of their underwear over those jeans….I remember when even a bra strap peeking out of a shirt was enough to make a bitch shy….well those days are no more…

Even bitches on TV with millions of dollars are out here living like none of that matters….maybe because they are just trying to be like normal girls, maybe because they like the attention, maybe because they know they are dying so who gives a fuck….all scar empowered, new kidney empowered, maybe the ghost of the person they harvested her organs from is taking over her soul and making her do this….maybe it’s just the times we live in….maybe I say maybe too much.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Sarah Hyland|SFW

2020

16

Jan

Vanessa Hudgens Tight Leggings of the Day

No Comments »

Vanessa Hudgens, the leaked nude selfie pioneer is on the prowl because her boyfriend, who is about to get super famous, thanks to being cast as Elvis, dumped her.

So like all bitched who just got dumped, she’s got her ass out in leggings to get some male attention to feed her ego.

The rumor is that she was dumped because he was done using her, his career started to take off, and some out with the old celebrity cunt who you know is fucking annoying, controlling, spoiled, an entitled tyrant. Who likely treated him as a houseboy, because she thought he was hot and felt he could service her needs….only to realize when he started making his own money that being a male prostitute wasn’t fulfilling enough for him. Not worth the headache. Maybe she got in the way of all the new pussy being thrown at him, or maybe he’s actually gay. I don’t know..it’s probably all a lie to get them both in the media and it worked…

I’m more into seeing HUDGENS old ass in leggings, cuz these leggings really hold asses together these way. Everyone focuses on technology on the computer, but we really should focus on technology in fabrics to make dumpy look solid.

As you know my only outings are to the Grocery store and I see 50 year old women with asses like this and I have conversations with those asses (in my head) like “it’s not halloween friend, I know you don’t actually look like this, but I’m glad you’re not showing your new self, you’re like a bitch you meet off the internet dating app wearing a BURKA so you can’t see her herpes outbreak, I’m onto you”….

Talking to random body parts has been some of the most important conversations in my life…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:SFW|Vanessa Hudgens

2020

16

Jan

Hilary Duff Wants to Show You Her New Mom Skills of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some pics of “STUFF BY HILARY DUFF”….Lizzie Maguire legend to the perverts everywhere who tricked Disney into thinking that it was a popular kids show and that those kids are now 30 and ready to watch a reboot available exclusively on their app…when really it was all of you sick fucks jacking off to the Disney Channel even the cable company you hired to get your cable back in the cable days questioned you about…seeing as you lived alone in a studio apartment…”why you need Disney Channel Bro, that’s weird”.

Well, Hilary Duff is more than just some Disney Kid at 30, she’s a banged out mom and in being a mom, who has been banged out by a lot of dudes, including but not limited to an NHL player that probably cucked her off to the team….

She’s got skills, and those skills are a pussy that can eat the leggings, not cuz it is a hungry pussy but because it’s a mom pussy.

At least she’s skinnier than she used to be, but them pussy lips, they still fat. Getitng back in that Lizzie Maguire shape I guess.