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Archive for the SFW Category

2017

08

Feb

Charlotte McKinney Import Car Model of the DAy

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Here’s a recent shoot of Charlotte McKinney for some magazine that will remain nameless, until the Playboy photographer reaches out and tells me to remove them, but figure I can go unnoticed since magazines barely exist anymore, and this is the internet – all shoots are pretty much everyone’s shoot…

These pictures show that Charlotte McKinney is more than just tis, she’s also thin legs a good ass in that pose, and she looks good well lit and made up next to cars – like a 80s photoshoot I probably once jerked off to. Classic pin-up style car model…something I’d expect her to be…you know a nameless Glamour model at the car show showing off a new product that gives old car new shine…but instead she’s rich, lives in Malibu, fucks rich guys and has been on TV….doing photoshoots about what she should probably be doing professionally…Meta…

Who cares…she looks her best…and that’s what matters…it should be celebrated…less horseheaded and irrelevant than usual….good job..she I can be positive sometimes…

Posted in:Charlotte McKinney|SFW

2017

08

Feb

Nina Agdal in a Bikini for Health Because Fucking Leonardo DiCaprio Gets you Media of the Day

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Nina Agdal probably thinks she’s a bigger deal than she actually is – thanks to being one of the pussies – assuming she’s not INTERSEX as her features would suggest – something we can assume Leo, who I have been told fucks dude, would be into…when you get all the pussy you want, your sex gets weirder and weirder…

The problem is that before Nina Agdal was the pussy Leo cheats on (that’s what I was going for in the first part of this post)…she had an ego from being in Sports Illustrated…so that just continued as she pushes 30 and becomes obsolete – better get pregnant first…better Irina Shayk it like a Polaroid pregnant sugar baby…her escorting depends on it….

So I guess one of the benefits of fucking Leo is magazines like Health picking her up and featuring her…climb that later downs syndrome head….so dramatic for a down’s syndrome head…

Posted in:Nina Agdal|SFW

2017

08

Feb

Charli XCX in Her Bra for Kimmel of the Day

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Charli XCX did the Kimmel Show..or as I like to call it…the show with the guy who was fucking Sarah Silverman for many years despite her being a man, not funny, annoying as fuck…and sloppy at best in terms of sex appeal…I guess those were his fat years, pre hit nightly talk show years, and I should get over his horrible past, and focus on the fact that when acts we aren’t quite sure about, but that we have seen perform a lame party once, and it was lame, except for the fact she was an exhibitionist….are on his show…they show off their bra on social media like a good girl…who knows how to make it work….

Posted in:Charli XCX|SFW

2017

08

Feb

J,Lo Hard Nipple and Leggings Wants You to Jerk Off to Her of the Day

Yesterday, or the other day, I wrote that J.Lo was a cockroach just won’t fucking die…I meant to say she’s a cucaracha….because you know she’s Spanish, or just exploits her Spanish heritage to justify her booty, but more importantly she was a triple threat during the late 90s when latina ass, including Ricky Martin’s mattered…

She’s still scamming and as a scammer she’s still up to her old tricks as they pay…and the Spanish fans fucking love it, they are loyal people and like their own in action, but it’s pretty depressing, lame, but money comes in, fans throw their panties at her, and that’s what she lives for…you know..mainstream, top tier…prostitute, who instead of fucking her clients she scams them into buying tickets to her show..and unlike the Mexican you mistake her for…there’s no donkey show…jsut some aggressive gyrating – as per this video she posted on her social media…

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Posted in:J.Lo|SFW

2017

08

Feb

Kate Hudson Workout Erotica of the Day

Kate Hudson is still hot in her own right despite being old and used up…so long as you can’t see her face filled now asian looking face – because they went too fucking aggressive on her…so she now looks asian…

But her mom booty is into fitness, and looking fit, the kind of booty that in its younger years almost made Owen Wilson kill himself, making it seem to be a pretty talented booty, however, when I think about it, the only booty that’s made me want to kill myself is my wife’s she’s disgusting…so it can go either way….either it’s too good, or too bad for him, and from this perspective, it’s good enough….especially at 40…makes me want to hit the gym midday for some mom ass while the kids are in school pussy hanging out of their yoga pants erotica….but not really…I’ll just watch the video…

Posted in:Kate Hudson|SFW

2017

08

Feb

Tommy Hilfiger Made a Gigi Barbie of the Day

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The 90s is on an aggressive comeback and the brands that were big in the 90s are fucking pumped about it – because they can lazily pull up old artwork, repurpose it, put it on some trendy, influencer, it girl, rich girl like GIGI Hadid…and collaborate with Barbie makers Mattel…to create a doll in her image…totally ridiculous sure, the kids will fucking love this and buy it all up at the mall, and Gigi will cash the fuck in as she deserves, you know being the rich girl who had everything handed to her, but that she thinks required work, because that’s how delusional cunts work…

THAT SAID…I’d like one of you to buy me one, to stick up my ass, where Gigi Hadid belongs…despite my Hemorrhoids and my hate of butt play, I think this one is worth the pain to make a point…that no one, myself included, understands…

I just know this is as obnoxious as you’d expect from the modern era’s Paris Hilton, with less personality and sex appeal…her own Barbie, just what a girl who lived the Barbie life needs….

Posted in:Gigi Hadid|SFW

2017

08

Feb

Kylie Jenner’s Got Tits of the Day

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Kylie Jenner has got herself some tits…I know fascinating….I guess she got them from her daddy..

Or from her mom’s strategic on salary plastic surgeon, who lives in their basement and created Kim and Khloe you know today…all filled up and not just with black sperm but also with face fillers..

I am still convinced she’s a terrible clone made in a lab of Kim, maybe she’s just Kim’s daughter they raised as her sister for the brand….who fucking knows…or cares…

It’s just more interesting to stare at her and try to understand what the fuck you’re looking at…assuming it is human…it’s still a freak…

Posted in:Kylie Jenner|SFW

2017

08

Feb

Jessica Simpson on the Toilet with her Mom of the Day

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I think the best way to start your day – is with a 31 week old picture of Jessica Simpson and her mom on the toilet together – well on separate toilets in the same bathroom…but maybe I’m just a pervert who likes mom and daughter bathroom time…or maybe I just have a stall-less bathroom fetish…like a normal person would…

Either way, old Jessica Simpson pics, always fun….here’s a new one of her promoting fitness because she’s a fitness icon…the fattest fitness icon who only got fit for a million dollar contract with Weight Watchers…sure…but a fitness icon none the less seeing as she sells billions of dollars of shitty money…

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Posted in:Jessica Simpson|SFW

2017

07

Feb

Ashley Graham’s Fat Polaroids of the Day

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Ashley Graham as you know is the most outspoken of the BBW models in the mainstream. Porn’s been dealing with this fetish for a long time. Their tits are just so big. Their ability to overpower men by smothering them so exhilarating. Their blowjob skills do to the big mouths, sleep apnea neck fat, and eating training…are amazing. Their willingingness to do anything thanks to just being happy a man is horny enough to fuck them…brilliant…and their capacity for black cock in their cavernous asses thanks to large shits…a win…

I don’t know how this one became the leader of the fat is wonderful, even though science has a different story about fat, and the medical community would argue it’s actual terrible and not sexy, unless you find diabetes amputations and premature death sexy, which I do…but not on fat chicks…but on all chicks over 30 who figuratively die….

I know what this movement exists, fat girls are loud, they complain that’s why they don’t walk on the treadmill and stop eating long enough to not be fat…

But I still think the biggest movement she’s part of is her bowel movement…porker…

These are polaroids for a magazine, not a fat chick fetish mag, I think you can see nipple, if you stop staring at flesh pouring out of every possible place…

Posted in:Ashley Graham|SFW

2017

07

Feb

Scarlett Johansson in Marie Claire of the Day

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Overrated Scarlett Johannson who is in every major Blockbuster, and no one actually knows why wants you to know “Just because I’m the top-grossing actress of all time does not mean I’m the highest paid. I’ve had to fight for everything that I have. It’s such a fickle and political industry.”…..one that created a star out an average at best talent….

She also wants you to know that despite making millions she gets paid less than men – the struggle is real – but she’s smart enough to diffuse it onto real women not girls like her living some bullshit lie “women in all positions struggle for equality. It’s always an uphill battle and fight. My experience with my close female friends and family is that the struggle is real for everybody. Everyone has been discriminated against or harassed—sexism is real”

She also wants you to know that she likes talking about vaginas “I want to talk about what’s happening with your vagina. I want to know why it hates you or whatever. I want to compare and contrast notes. I want to talk about sex and all that stuff.”

I never read these things, so this is one of my first summaries of the interview that goes with the photoshoot you can’t jerk off to….

Because our favorite chubby, overrated and now old, actress who somehow tricked people into thinking she was Old Hollywood Glam…when really she was just boring and liked eating burgers….not nearly as interesting as she used to be…which for the record wasn’t ever than interesting…but she happened…and here are the pics from some photoshoot that happened…as she promotes some bullshit overhyped movie…as she does…

Posted in:Scarlett Johansson|SFW