DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2019

27

Aug

Rita Ora Fully Pussy of the Day

Rita Ora must be looking for a new record deal..

What the fuck is wrong with the edges of RITA ORA’s pussy?

Is this what pussy meat actually looks like?

I am trying to cross reference every vagina I’ve ever seen and I don’t think they ever look as well-done….overcooked, mangled and destroyed.

I think it her asshole may have been bleached too hard, leaving scar tissue, or ANAL cancer…from the HPV from record producer dick creeped up on that shit…

I’d say it was bold, but from the day she brought her tits out for the first time, introduced to America by her boyfriend…ROB KARDASHIAN….so you know exactly ha kind of girl she is…one willing to do all it takes to get that popstar life she’s trolled her way into having…

Here she is in some see through shit…weird pussy meat girl…got great tits…and great tits help erase the memory of weird pussy meat…on some Men in Black shit…which I assume she likely fucked cuz that’s the kind of girl her pussy meat makes me think she is….

That said, I think I should start a Beef Jerky line called PUSSY MEAT….

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Posted in:Rita Ora

2019

27

Aug

Salma Hayek Drowns Again of the Day

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Salma Hayek back again with more Drowning Porno I guess that’s a big deal to someone out there who loves Salma Hayek and her monster titties….and that someone is probably you….not that I mind this drowning bathing suit erotica she’s been posting for the last week…I mean her tits are substantial enough to get her a billionaire husband and a lucrative career as an actor….they are great tits…and they got her a far better turn out than a Mayan working a taco stand in Cancun for white people on Spring Break….they allowed her to steal your jobs in America….while becoming the Salma Hayek we all know…but she’s old..and no matter what that will always overpower a great tit and almost cancel it out.

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Posted in:Salma Hayek|SFW

2019

27

Aug

All the Tits at the MTV VMA’s of the Day

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I am very out of touch, which is funny, since I post pop culture, social media based bullshit celebrities, most that I’ve never heard of….

I prefer the idea of being off in a remote cabin in the woods, with no screens, or phones to stare at the sky for the rest of time, than to know the latest meme an influencer is promoting, that is both relatable, humorous and current….

The internet was a fascinating concept to me in the 90s, thanks to all the nudes and sluts on the internet and I had a consisten fun time trolling….

I do not keep on top of MTV award shows, when MTV has been dead for the last 5-6 years thanks to slow moving adapting to the internet, when they could have easily been Facebook, Instagram, Youtube, any of the big players they probably have stock in, I mean Viacom’s gotta be invested in a lot more shit than MTV, but they definitely took a really fucking long time to become relevant on the internet which is the easiest place to become relevant when you have that Viacom money…

I also hate Award shows awarding idiots awards all for marketing hype….too much classism, like they aren’t more important than us because they are dancing monkeys on screen or because the people tell us they are more important than us…

None of this really matters in the grand scheme of the world, just noise to sell ads against, to sell products, to make money….they are evil corporations..

So I avoid all this shit, it is not fun, there is no insight, it’s nonsense…but I don’t mind posting the tits at the event cuz I like tits, whether it is famous or not, they are all equally more important than non-tits.

Adriana Lima with the wet look..

Alison Brie loves her tits..you can also see her nipples here

Bebe Rexha on the hunt for the free buffet..

Bella Hadid running away from the rat traps..

Bella and GIGI Hadid looking like some pale turds a la lactose intolerance..

Blac Chyna..the hired entertainment if you know what i mean..

Coco..iconic..

A moment of silence for Coco’s panties all the way up in her uterus..

Hailee Steinfeld with the slutty thigh flash..

Halsey with the rainbow hair so that everyone is reminded that she’ll fuck anything..

Heidi Klum..just here to show off the power of Eugenics..

Keke Palmer just here to up the DIVERSITY

Lizzo..again, for the diversity?

Miley Cyrus.. with the wet look.. looking like she crawled out of a urinal..

Normani, who is some girl from Fifth Harmony which I thought was the group Camila Cabello came from but who knows..

Tammy Hembrow, the degenerate australian slut who passed out at Kylie Jenners birthday party last year, so now she has a career..

Last and absolutely least, Taylor Swift..

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Posted in:MTV|SFW

2019

27

Aug

Sarah Hyland Kidney Scars of the Day

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Sarah Hyland bringing some new fetishes to the table in this one….some Coachella from 5 years ago body jewelry to accent her face that used to look like a 10 year old, all bloated and weird, but in her older age looks like an 80 year old with too much BOTOX, but more interestingly, the Kidney Transplant scars, cuz she’s had two Kidney transplants, like a fucking beast with faulty organs…which apparently is a thing in Hollywood, for whatever reason, because Selena Gomez had one too…maybe some child star damage from being sold to the industry / DISNEY at a young age where executives violated them via thier URETHAS…the gateway to the KIDNEY….who knows…

But I do know that Sarah Hyland’s got some bikini top on, cuz she likes that whole half nakedness….and at least she’s not fat, probably part of that genetic disorder that makes it hard for her to gain weight, a blessing to those of us staring at this weirdo creature.

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Posted in:Sarah Hyland|SFW

2019

27

Aug

Charlotte Lawrence Slutty of the Day

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The funniest thing about Charlotte Lawrence to me, is that I used to watch her mom on Caroline in the City…about some bullshit cartoonist in the city, the prequel to Sex and the City…I guess…..why the fuck would I ever watch that shit….well the answer is pre-cable we had limited choices….and we still watched the limited choices cuz it was better than doing more productive things with our time…

THAT said, as it turns out, a little GOOGLE corrected me….and reminded me that Charlotte Lawrence isn’t the daughter of the girl in THAT show, she is the daughter of the girl in the Drew Carey show….who I guess is substantially more famous….and thus her kid is substantially more bratty, entitled, spoiled, whilst doing social media bullshit…with her nipples out…paving a career for herself instead of just taking her spoiled brat trust fund and chilling…cuz girl has an ego that needs to be massaged…and ego for being the daughter of Kate from Drew Carey…which in and of itself is a weird ego to have but I don’t have a famous relative to mooch off of, or to name drop when I try cutting the line at hard to get into night clubs, so I can’t relate – but I can star at her nipples…that aren’t as exciting as RITA ORA NIPPLE.…but are probably less used and abused….

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Posted in:charlotte lawrence|SFW

2019

27

Aug

Candice Swanepoel Bikini of the Day

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Candice Swanepoel is so fucking boring….even when half naked. I don’t think it’s me hating on her for being perpetually pregnant and thus becoming a shell of who she once was, no one likes mom pussy as much as fresh pussy, it’s a fact.

I think it has more to do with her doing the same half naked bikini shit for over a fucking decade….that has inspired thousands if not millions of girls on social media to do the same bikini shit pictures…with the same poses…that when I see a bitch with her pursed lips looking over her shoulder half naked…i have no choice but to hate her.

TRUST ME… I get the simplistic marketing of half naked girls to get audience in. I have run this site on that model for the last 15 years…not that we are an EBAY or anything…or that we are a we even…it’s a shitty blog…I get it…but at one point in time 200,000 people a day were coming through to look at tits…they didn’t stick around so they clearly canceled me, or didn’t ready my beautiful prose…PROVING my fucking point…girls in bikinis doing anything is worth looking at..

I would just prefer if the bikinis were pulling some kind of stunt, or bring someting original to the mix.

Oh look, another bitch in a bikini posing like a fucking drag queen in the 90s….playing their best fashion model…oh and it’s Candice Swanepoel…who we saw at 19 looking god in a bikini, no need for her to now be in a bikini…the South African, racist by definition…is fucking old, tired, a mom, and sucks.

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Posted in:Candice Swanepeol|SFW

2019

27

Aug

Jennifer Lopez Titty Tape of the Day

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Jennifer Lopez with the titty tape, or the weird sticker bras that these whores on instagram, like the most gutter of whores on instagram were pushing for a minute….you know so that they don’t get those pesky bra straps in the way of their slut outfits, while they don’t show off their tits even though we are in the free the nipple era, maybe due to being insecure about the birthing process that may have destroyed her tits, assuming she’s a breast feeding mom, when I assume she’s more a pass the kids onto the help so that she can focus on her career and piling up all that money, so she can live a disgusting life in excess while looking down on peasants and poor people, as she sells them her garbage music…and movies…and storyline…

It’s easy to hate celebrities, especially J.Lo, who worked to be this person idiots fawn over and think is important, without realizing that she’s no different than you, except for some ego, willingness to manipulate men into becoming J.Lo…and rolling with it.

It’s also easy to hate on all the people who talk about J.Lo and her BOTOX look as some achievement in aging…when she’s got all the money and time and staff to focus and invest into her looks which in and of itself is as fucking vile and disgusting as you’d expect her to be….

People are so self involved….buying shit they don’t need cuz they can…and to not show us her tits, but instead to focus on her Kardashian looking face…is a real fuck you to all of us…

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Posted in:Jennifer Lopez|SFW

2019

27

Aug

Aubrey O’Day Erotica of the Day

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Aubrey O’Day is pretty fucking funny in her marketing of herself…

It’s like she disappeared for a decade, only to come back with a fake face, fake ass, fake everything….all while remaining equally irrelevant to what she once was…which is always funny to see. You know a girl who fucking tries this hard to sexualize herself in smut that she’s producing, even if she’s in her 40s or near 40s, she’s putting her ass out there like people want to see it, only no one cares because they realize that so many other girls on the internet are equally slutty, way younger, way hotter and way more interesting to jerk off to….where as some girl who had a minute of fame and made some money and who has met important people has this delusion that she fucking matters..that she’s more important than these other hot girls and that is fucking crazy….

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Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|SFW

2019

27

Aug

Barbie Ferreira Topless of the Day

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Barbie Ferreira is the big girl on the HBO show Euphoria….where she plays a slutty, insecure fat girl who is finding her sex appeal by being an underage cam girl dominatrix, which may be an actual thing high school girls are doing, that isn’t being policed aggressively, cuz underage girls go to night clubs, why wouldn’t they have fake ID that gets them on cam sites jacking off…

That said, apparently, this girl wasn’t always a fat pig of a girl, who I guess got fat so that she’d get some roles, I guess the media needs South American girls and fat girls to properly, now that the America media wants to properly represent every ethnicity, ailment, disability, allergy, sexual orientation….which is something Canadians are used to, that’s always been the way it is in Canada…thanks to shows like degrassi, that ALWAYS had the natives, asians, black, Wheelchair Bound, down’s syndrome, trans get-along gang shit…but that is funny to see when used sexually like they are in Euphoria with girls like Barbie Ferreira….who funny enough got her career started as an American Apparel model….fuck yeah.

Here she is before she got as big as she is now… is the conspiracy that she got fat to get roles I don’t know…

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Posted in:Barbie Ferreira|SFW

2019

27

Aug

Chanel West Coast Nipples of the Day

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Chanel West Coast fucking sucks.

She isn’t 40, but she must be close to 40….and the fact she still exists on the internet, people still talking about her, is a testament to sucking the right dick at the right time.

She got on an MTV show when people watched MTV and it translated to social media….So she didn’t start at zero on IG…trying to figure out how to be slutty enough to not get deleted while still being relevant….she already had that relevance in the form of followers who don’t actually care about her but who are waiting for the next titty pic….

That her shameless social media content has guaranteed level of views cuz people are there, but she still needs to give them something to talk about because no one actually cares about her and follow her for a more passive reason, like because they thought she was entertaining on the MTV show..and are waiting for the tits…

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Posted in:Chanel West Coast