I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2010

22

Apr

AnnaLynne McCord’s Sister’s Cry for Attention of the Day

You know it’s a slow day when you start seeing people talk about some no names, even less accomplished sister, because she’s playin’ it up for the Paparazzi while loving every second of riding her sisters 15 minutes of fame cuz she got cast in 90210 the Next Generation, a show I can only assume will be cancelled very fucking soon, forcing these trashcans to head back home to their parents where they can live thinking they are the greatest, hottest, most talented that Hollywood threw the fuck out, because Hollywood is dated and doesn’t know what the people want…leading to incest lesbian sex tapes that won’t get them back into Hollywood, but will lead to a fetish site that charges memeber 19.99 a month, eventually makin’ them finally get the fame and male-attention they think they deserve because everyone in their small town, that I can only assume is filled with fat inbred trash, would feed their egos every fucking day….and here she is kissing a chick for the paparazzi to get noticed….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Annalynne McCord|Attention Whore|Lesbian Kiss.

2010

22

Apr

Isabel Lucas and Her Guitar Try to Get Noticed of the Day

There’s a big media push behind this Isabel Lucas bitch. She’s some Australian who wanted to make it in America because she saw success at home and figured it was an easy transition. She pretty much only got work in Transformers and people noticed that she was hot, but that was the extent of the shit, but now she’s on her fucking hustle to remind people that she’s more than just hot, she’s the next big fucking thing…..

I can always tell when someone’s got fire under their career’s ass, because the paparazzi agencies start posting more pictures of them, they start doing more stunts and appearances, and most importantly they usually start wearing see-through clothes, accidentally flash nipple or pussy and if we’re real lucky, sex tape…cuz hollywood is pretty much equally trashy as porn…..

So walking around the airport with a guitar like the homeless lesbian who badly sings old punk songs and claims she’s looking for money to travel may not quite be what we’re looking for, but I assume there was a miscommunication…they said “keep your instrument unwrapped and out of the bag”…I’m hoping another miscommunication is that she’s supposed to be filming in Montreal and now she’s dating Jake Gyllenhaal, a very unfortunate thing for anyone, even if he’s got a crush on Australians every since Heath left his life and makes her rise to getting noticed easier…..when really all she needs to do is suck it up and let out her genitals….

People dig her, she’s hot, but I hate her for the Gyllenhaal shit, I just can’t see past that, even if it’s social climbing, the good news is that she’s supposed to be in Montreal, I’m in Montreal and will try to talk her out of this strategy and give her a DrunkenStepfather make-over, but no the kind of make-over I give my wife, because not everyone is so open minded to getting shit on….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Isabel Lucas|PR PUSH

2010

21

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

If a fat, sad looking girl comes up to you to talk about your dog, run the fuck away while you can, because just a few minutes ago, some fat girl started talking to my dog and telling me how she needs a dog, ideally a needy one because she’s really lonely…it was already too late to make my escape….I was the first person to talk to her in a week, other than her mother, co-workers and people who work at stores she goes to and she saw she had me in her trap and took advantage of the opportunity, spoke of 30 minutes about her cats battle with lung cancer, the book she read on dating and how it didn’t work out for her and that she grew up on a farm and really wants to have babies but just has her Garfield who now needs an Oddie….it was pretty fucking miserable but not as miserable as my stepLINks….

Prostitutes….There’s an App for That…
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It Was Fitting That I Failed When I Tried to Show You the Video Game About My Life, Because I’m a Failure At Life Generally. So Here It Is Again – VIDEO
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More of JWoww and Her Insane Tits
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I’m Sure You Can Think of a Thing or Two to Put Inside This Robot Mouth – VIDEO
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Demi Moore’s A Milf We’d All Like To Fuck
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William Shatner and That Little Taiwanese Susan Boyle Homo Did a Duet and It’s Pretty Much the Most Amazing Thing Ever – VIDEO
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Happy Earth Day: The Hottest Vegans
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Some Sluts to To Help You Hump to Get Over Hump Day
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Jordan Carver’s Body is Outta Site
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Patrick Swayze Versus Iron Man – VIDEO
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2010 NFL Mock Draft – The Hottest Wives and Girlfriends
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Miss San Jose Sex Tape Throw Back
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How Not to Sell Arms to India – VIDEO
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some Zoe Saldana Hotness
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Just When I Thought Nobody Could Get as Drunk as I Do, This Guy Goes and Puts Me to Shame – VIDEO
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Justina in Her Bedroom
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Horny Drunk Sluts do Things They Will Regret Later – VIDEO
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A little Kate Beckinsale
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The Service Wives and Girlfriends Calendar
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Random Photos of the Day
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Brianna Amor is Just Too Fucking Much
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Jazy and Jessica Lynn
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It Figures That Peaches Geldof is Into Scat Porn
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Haylie Duff Pokies
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Kim Kardashian Just Because
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10 Awesome Whore Pictures of the Day
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Seriously, Beyonce Looks Best When She’s Dressed Down
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I’d Be Out Fucking the World too If I Caught Herpes From Paris Hilton
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Elexis and Samantha Are Fucking Each Other
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Hey There Daisy Marie
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I’d Totally Bang Vanessa Paradis and Her Gap Tooth
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The 20 Biggest WTFs in Comic History
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Anna Kournikova Pussy F
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Man Gets Drivers License Revoked For Driving a Barbie Car While Drunk
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25 Examples of Unintentional Porn
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Granddad Caught in Act – VIDEO
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I Don’t Know Who Kaley Cuoco is But She’s Making Me Think Naughty Thoughts
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Lesbian Fetish of the Day
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I Don’t Know What Sophie Turner is Up to, But So Long As She Brings Her Tits Along, It’s Fine By Me
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Follow Me. It Does a Body Good
FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Posted in:stepLINKS

2010

21

Apr

Laura Vandervoort Bra from Some Bullshit Show of the Day

I don’t know who this bitch Laura Vandervoort is but she’s on some space show, so I can only assume some of you think you’re already married to her despite having never met her, but there’s always hope she’ll be at the next sci-fi convention…so I’m not sure if you’ll be happy to see her in a bra, or upset to seeing her cheat on you with another guy while you’re the only one in her life in your insane world…..but I’m posting it anyway, because despite hating bras, I like them better than I like shirts…

Posted in:Bra|Laura Vandervoort

2010

21

Apr

Sienna Miller in Shorts of the Day

We’ve all seen Sienna Miller’s hipster “UK Fashion Scene” bush in various movie roles. We’ve also seen her hot tits. We’ve seen her destroy marriages and we’ve seen her living the party life with a wide array of cock….We’ve also seen her fade into obscurity. We’ve seen the world stop caring about her…and we’ve seen that she’s actually a dirty ratty lookin’ bitch and not actually hot…and now we’re seeing her in jean shorts with Jude Law, because I guess they are the perfect couple for each other and understand each other because they both have the same stupid accent and they both made it in America according to what America thinks making it in America is….and who the fuck really cares…apparently I do because I just wrote this…but I shouldn’t and either should you…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Shorts|Sienna Miller

2010

21

Apr

Sophie Marceau Ass for the Necrophiliacs of the Day

Here is an almost erotic clip of Sophie Marceau’s Old Lady Ass, if you’re a necrophiliac and like your bitches to look like they are lying in a locker at the morgue before you have your way with them, something hard to introduce into sex on the first date, in a “come on baby, let me just paint your lips this shade of blue and you just lay there like you’re dead and let me have my way with you ok?”, that’s why I always just recommend really strong sedatives to my necrophiliac friends….

I’m not cultured or into other cultures, but french movies have offered some of the best real sex scenes in a movie, like this one called Baisse Moi that I jerked off to at least once, because there was actual penetration, in a movie that wasn’t considered porn, something that makes sense…It’s like why pretend to fuck when you should actually be fucking to make your role look a lot more authentic than the love scenes Hollywood likes to include in their movies….

Some other bitch was in the movie named Linett Hernandez Valdes, not to be confused with Juan Valdez, the Columbian “coffee farmer” cuz “coffee” is Columbia’s number one export in terms of hiding cocaine in the shipments….she showed tit, I like black chicks, especially when latina even though I’d expect more out of this AFROTINA since this was her first role….

By the way, the movie is called L’Homme de Chevet if you ever want to ignore it at the movie store or pretend you saw it to a bitch you want to impress….

Posted in:Ass|L'Homme de Chevet|Linett Hernandez Valdes|Sophie Marceau|Tits

2010

21

Apr

Kate Bosworth Bikini Pictures of the Day

Kate Bosworth has something hot about her. Maybe it’s her face, or her bank account despite never getting work, but I like to think it’s got more to do with her not being fat. Sure in not being fat, she’s pretty much got no tit, but with all the jacked up hormones in food and obesity, sometimes no tit is a fucking luxury, cuz big sloppy tit are often a sign of disgusting….but then again, I have an anorexia fetish…

Small tit is only a sign of ghetto shit when it’s on a fat chick, because there’s something totally unnatural about the shit, like bitch was lives under powerlines or near the nuclear plant, or has a diet of high chemical junk food that distorts her genetic code, leaving her fat, flat and awkward looking….and unfortunately for me, one of them is my fucking wife and her 48 A cup bra….like some horrible curse from God…and further proof I fucking suck at life….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Bikini|Kate Bosworth

2010

21

Apr

Online Dating Story of the Day

I know without online dating, most of you wouldn’t ever get laid, married or live the normal life…and really online dating is not as out of control as it used to be, because normal girls use the internet now….cuz back when I used to fuck girls off the intenet, before settling down, back when the internet was a crazy fucking place, meeting the girls was always scary as fuck cuz you didn’t know if you’d show up and get gang rape by a bunch of computer nerds, mugged and when you got stuck with a fat one, you’d suck it up and take a blowjob to avoid awkwardness, since you weren’t meeting to get to know each other, you already did it in chat….sometimes there were hot ones, other times you had to focus on one thing about them that could get you hard and in the end, it was kinda exciting….but now the internet is filled with normal people and finding the freaks takes work…..

Either way, I’m not sure if the moral of the story is to be careful who you date online, or if you should just not keep any valuables around them, or if you should just avoid the black ones….either way, funny story….

Posted in:Online Dating

2010

21

Apr

Heidi Klum’s Black Umbrella Holder of the Day

Here are some boring pictures of mom Heidi Klum wearing clothes, like all models who have been ripped apart by black cock and have a dozen half-breed kids running around the hosue, even though she’s bounced back from the shit pretty fucking proper compared to the mom’s in my neighborhood…..

The reason I am posting this is not because I think she’s good to jerk off to, but because she’s got a black umbrella holder like this was the deep south and this Jezebel justifies her slave driving because she’s sleeping with the Negro they let in the house, only in her case, she married him….

She’s German and along with being into really weird sexual fetishes that involve domination, shitting and pissing…they are also responsible for the concentration camps….

There’s more to this Heidi Klum / Seal story than they want us to know….There’s no way it’s not some white racist slave driver living our fantasies and here she is letting the truth spill out over her panty line, not just with her bloated gunt but with Samson and his Umbrella back there….

Not that you care….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Heidi Klum|Racist|Umbrella

2010

21

Apr

Sarah Dumont Topless in GQ Italy of the Day

Here’s a model named Sarah Dumont, topless in GQ Italy, proving that despite being unknown and trying to get noticed, she’s got the right idea that tits get hits and when you’re getting paid, showing tits is becomes your job and not proof you are a high paid stripper whore, because not being topless is dated, and being topless is what everyone wants to fucking see.

Seriously, more fashion magazines are doing nude spreads now than ever. The American Apparel Website is full of topless girls, it’s like topless isn’t for jerking off to anymore, it’s for selling clothing and a lifestyle, and the whole thing is pretty fucking amazing as far as I’m concerned, cuz I like tits and I believe that the public are retarded and will end up pulling this look out of the pages of Vogue and take it to the streets for me to get hard over…and the whole thing is amazing….

Posted in:Model|Sarah Dumont|Topless