Anne Hathaway wore a red dress because she was on her period. If you look closely, I bet you can see her tampon string, because unlike my wife, Anne Hathawa looks like a tampon girl, so whoever she’s fucking is missing out on emptying the bathroom garbage a few months later that you’re supposed to, only to have a bloody fucking maggot filled half-diaper land on the fucking floor, only to have your dog go crazy on the motherfucker, while you are in the other room trying to figure out just how to clean the shit up without having to touch it, only to come back to it spread around the fucking room, instead of being in the well contained package it was left in, and the only real salvation you have is that your wife is unhealthy and going to die soon, or at least not get her period anymore cuz she’s pushing 50.
Who the fuck is Malin Ackerman and what kind of name is Malin. I know some of you would want to maul her pussy the first chance you had to grab her from behind and throw her into the trunk of your mom’s Volvo, so that’s why I am posting these pictures of her at an event with no bra, because really who needs a bra when all you’ve got is nipples.
Leona Lewis is that girl who sings about sex on her period .
And like a virgin at the mall with buying Magic Cards with my buddies only to be destracted when a big titty girl and her friends walk by in their low cut shirts, I’ve just turned my site into a place that gets excited when a chubby singer shows off some cleavage, and that depresses me.
Nothing makes me feel more pathetic than when I do these desperate posts about cleavage because I have nothing else to talk about, because cleavage is about as PG as shit gets and if you have a capacity to get off to the shit, like I have the capacity to write about the shit, like it really is a fuckin’ big deal, you are as worthless as mine and we should kill ourselves in some kind of ritual that makes people think we were a cult, when really we were just sexually frustrated with lives that suck.
Girls rock cleavage every fucking day, as they fucking should, so noticing it isn’t really a big deal, we’re dudes, we’re supposed to, but making a big deal about the shit, like taking a picture or making a post, or even high fiving your loser friends with boners in your pants is just not cool.
I don’t know where these whores get off producing Safe For Work content for their personal blogs, but it just doesn’t fuckin’ compute in my head.
First of all she’s a Playboy chick and in being a Playboy chick, seeing her Stripper Pole Dance like a suburban mom after work, in a pair of shorts is not fuckin’ worth looking at. You see, I have already seen her vagina, therefore, I want to see her on a pole the way she was meant to be on a fucking pole and that’s like the Playboy Feature Dancer and Heffner prostitute she is.
So whoever runs her site, maybe this kind of content would work as a cheap and manipulative way to get traffic for your other sites, like the Kim Kardashian family site, or the Audrina site, or even the Brody Jenner site, since we all know he’s a faggot, but for a Playboy chick, you’re gonna have to get some pussy lip up on here, none of this cheesy shit, even if it is what she does in her spare time…
But I guess above all, who really gives a fuck about Kendra Wilkinson in the first place…but if you do – here are the pics.
Paris Hilton keeps up her bullshit behavior while posing like a cunt promoting her shitty fucking show. The real issue isn’t so much why Paris is in the limelight, or why the paparazzi are taking pictures of her but why executives are giving her TV shows and why people like David Letterman and The View are inviting her in for a fucking interview, like she has anything to say or offer the fuckin’ world, or like we have any interest in hearing her speak, but maybe you have an interest in seeing her titties squeezed into a dress, so here are those pics, while I got cleanse my fuckin’ soul through meditation and drinking to deal with the fact that I lowered myself to post on Paris Hilton, the one person I didn’t want to post on today. Or any day. But did it anyway. I suck at life.
There are girls who get me excited me when they put on a pair of skimpy shorts, you know that hug their asses and their pussy while showing off nice legs. You know that whole American Apparel movement where girls from 14 to 30 are rocking the shit proper, but with all good things come the shit and there are a lot more girls, like Sophia Bush, who make me hate the fact that this trend exists because they don’t listen to their short fat legged body-types, but instead listen to the fashion magazines and take the lead from girls who have the right to pull this look off, making me wish for snow so they can put their pants on.
Here is recently turned 20 Riley Keough. She’s a model who is better known as Elvis’ granddaughter and Lisa Marie’s daughter with Michael Jackson. I am an Elvis fan and like many Elvis fans, I’d get excited to be up inside and tickling something he created 25% of, but that’s really got nothing to do with why I’d be willing to spend a couple hours doing inappropriate things with her, and the fact that she has a vagina does, who cares who her family is, just show me the pink, ya know.
I don’t find her very good looking and I like to blame nepotism for her succcess, but she is slated to inherit big money and walks around in suggestive stockings like some kind of dirty secretary trying to get a raise for her stockin’ fetish boss and that’s good enough for me. I mean if you saw what I have been fucking the last decade you’d realize I have no business turning down any pussy, even if it was on a dead racoon I found in a dumpster that was warm thanks to the summer weather and moist thanks to the decomposing.
Ashley Tisdale is a size queen, maybe it is because the only thing that makes her feel better about her ugly self is a huge cock in her ass, that’s really the only explanation of why she’s getting with this really tall wonky lookin’ dude, I mean other than the fact that he’s the only guy willing to fuck with her, but I doubt that’s true, I mean with her level of fame there are tons of groupies and opportunists willing to lower their standards and only fuck her from behind so they can maintain an erection and don’t have to see her face at that moment of pleasure or really at any point during the sex….
The whole thing is kinda weird for me, as most tall guy and short girl relationships, because it reminds me of father and daughter pedophile shit only in this case the dad’s not fucking his daughter, he’s taking her to the orphanage because he just can’t stomach lookin at her weird lookin’ face as it is a constant reminder of how inadequate his sperm is and is slowly chipping away at his self esteem.
Either way, Tisdale and I have a pretty one-sided Twitter relationship, but a Twitter relationship nonetheless….
She wrote:
Mtv movie awards today!!!!! Ate breakfast, now getting ready!
So I wrote
@ashleytisdale what is the next plastic surgery you got lined up? A face transplant would do you good-wait til technology gets better tho
She won an award, god knows what went wrong on MTV’s side of things, she was up against Slumdog Millionaire chick, meaning MTV is a fucking joke, but it made her happy and she wrote:
Just had the most amazing experience of my life!! I won breakthrough performance!! Thanks so much!!!! I love my fans, I love you so much
So I wrote
@ashleytisdale you needed borat’s ass in your face to make you look worth fucking, no homo.
She hasn’t answerwed yet, I guess she’s been too buy testing her gag reflex on this dudes’ Tall Man Cock while avoiding coming in contact with mirrors because it’ll take away her high of finally being a winner, even if her dad paid off MTV to make it happen….
Lily Allen is really negligent with her tit lately, but I guess not as negligent as she was with her uterus last year when she mysteriously got pregnant than wasn’t pregnant.
I wrote a post on this subject yesterday, when she was caught tanning and rubbing a chick down topless I figure I don’t need to go into an analysis of Lily Allen’s sour milk filled tits a second day in a row…so look at the pictures while I hate myself for having to post on Lily Allen tits instead of sucking on real tits like I want to be doing right now.
