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Sydney Sweeney Gives a Booty Show of the Day

Christina Aguilera Whorin’ Old Lady of the Day

Christina Milian Posing with Produce of the Day

Aurelie Dupont is the Instagram Of The Day

Britney Spears Returns With Weird Dancing of the Day

2009

Apr

Liz Hurley and Some Chicks in Bikinis of the Day

3 Comments »

Liz Hurley has a bikini line, but Liz Hurley isn’t the Liz Hurley she once was, so she knows better than to get in one, since people like me will pull some before and after animated gifs and blame the bikinis for making her look like shit, making her go broke, when really we should blame her aging, laziness, bad diet, marriage, babies, or whatever else makes a bitch’s body go south, when it should be going north, you know to wrap the fuck up in snowsuits while dog sledding as Inuits kill baby seals, so that we don’t have to see their sloppy asses. If you know what I mean.

Posted in:Bikini|Liz Hurley

2009

Apr

Tila Tequila Flashin’ Her Underwear of the Day

2 Comments »

I like Tila Tequila’s hustle. The whole bisexual bullshit show wasn’t anything revolutionary and I couldn’t sit through the shit, but she knew that a lot of people would, so she told her boyfriend of many years to kick back and pretend they weren’t together when she went to work, because you might as well make the money when you can. When I accidentally met Tila she was very nice and knew exactly what she was doing, when a fan asked about the guy in the first season of her show who she claimed to be in love with, who she fucking cried over, she had no idea who the girl was talking about, because it’s all a fucking scam, and that scam is a lot smarter than anything I’ve come up with.

Here’s some pictures of her pulling some other attention grabbin’ stunt, because we all like tits, lingerie, exhibitionists. Tila’s onto us and winning.

Posted in:flash|Lingerie|Tila Tequila|Tits

2009

Apr

Kate Moss is Probably Pregnant of the Day

3 Comments »

It looks like Kate Moss is pregnant again. The scandal. This is going to be her second kid and it’s with a different baby daddy. That’s so fucking ghetto. To think I thought she was classy just because she’s rich, is the face of luxury brands and does cocaine and not meth. I guess she’s just another statistic…tryin to fit in with my poor teenage neighbors.

Next thing you know she’ll be in line at Wal Mart buy formula with her mother and 8 random kids in tow, getting in my fuckin’ way when I’m trying to get a pair of fucking socks because I have a fungal infection and the doctor told me they will need to amputate if I don’t start on the hygiene. If you know what I mean.

Posted in:Kate Moss|Pregant

2009

Apr

Racehel Sterling and Her Tits of the Day

3 Comments »

Her name is Rachel Sterling, her job is being fucking useless. She was a Pussycat Doll at some point in her life, and has turned to DJing and hosting shitty fucking parties around North America. I haven’t been fortunate enough to go and laugh at her in action, since I am banned from all events thrown by the only shitty company in this city willing to bring a cunt like this into town to party, they also bring in acts like Caroline D’Amore. I know, I’m really missing out…at least on seeing a couple tacky girls showing off some cleavage for a bunch of chachi motherfuckers with bottles of Grey Goose while listening to Bob Sinclair or whatever their into now. Assholes like this make me disappointed to be human, like when I think about how they’re livin and the shit they’re doin’ I just wish I was a fucking Goat or some shit, so I wouldn’t have to deal with all this rage, I’d be too busy eating garbage…something Simon Rex is into or at least can relate to, you know, now that he’s dating this cunt…get it…cuz her pussy tastes and smells like kitchen garbage….at least that’s what her fake tits imply. Whore.

On a side note, Simon Rex aka the rapper Dirt Nasty and original jerk off porn hustler follows me on Twitter so I love him. Buy his album and if he’s reading this, send me some Rachel Sterling nudes, she looks like a cunt you’ll end up hating in a few months anyway….get to work on that man. I hope she doesn’t read this and have second thoughts, maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut and waited for you to deliver cuz as men we have that understanding. Oh well…

Posted in:Dirt Nasty|Rachel Sterling|Simon Rex|Tits

2009

Apr

Beyonce Tests The Strength of Cable with No Pants On of the Day

9 Comments »

There was a time when my wife and I did various activities. You know in the Honeymoon phase where I was going along with the whole marriage thing because I had accepted that I just sold my soul to the fucking devil and that the rest of my life was going to be hell, so I might as well rock out before I am too bitter and resentful to enjoy. So we’d do stupid things, like one afternoon we went to a little bar that had this trapeze set set-up outside, and my wife insisted we try the shit. I wasn’t into it, but she had been a gymnast when she was 150 pounds lighter and I guess thought she still had it in her. I remember the look on the staff’s face when they were trying to help her up the ladder to the top, before she fell into the strained safety net because she couldn’t support her own weight. It was a lot like the look on the horses face the time we decided to go horseback riding. Which is probably the look on whoever the fuck is responsible for rigging up Beyonce and her dumpy, fat, pantless ass, because you know if she goes down, some motherfucker is going to get executed….

Which brings me to my point. Why the fuck do rockstars/musicians/singers/performers insist on flying around the fuckin stage like some kind of fucking bird. Do the fans really find it that exciting to see an idiot strapped up and floating around the stage? Don’t they realize if the audience is there, 55% of them are fans and want to see them sing, 40% are asshole dudes dragged along for the ride by a girl they hope to fuck, 3% are media or got free tickets and 2% are there hoping all that fried chicken takes her out and she has a massive heart attack on stage. You know, to witness a historical event. But none of them want to see a fat slut do silly stunts that aren’t even impressive.

Step it the fuck up, I mean, if you can manage lifting your own legs, you fat pig.

Posted in:Beyonce|Fat|No Pants

2009

Apr

Tamara Mellon’s Second Day in a Bikini of the Day

2 Comments »

Yesterday I never heard of her, today, I do my second post on her. I’m pretty fucking easy…just get half naked, and I’m yours…

Here’s Jimmy Choo owner and very rich and luxurious Tamara Mellon, who I can assume acts like one of the cunts in Sex and the City, you know, all materialistic, with her faggot drinks, talking about luxury retreats and spa treatments, not giving guys like me the time of day, because we are fat and wear stained clothes, have no money, and want to leech off of them like they were our stripper girlfriends going out and getting naked to pay the bills while we sit on our asses playing videogames all day.

She’s in her bikini day 2 and I may or may not love her, but that could be because I love Christian Slater and wonder if I could still smell him on her…but I think it’s because of her pretty tight, very rich, materialistic, superficical, self-involved 40 year old body….

I just got caught behind some 40 year old lookin’ rich mother at the coffee shop. She was gabbin’ off on her cell phone about bullshit only she and other rich mothers with nothing better to do would care about. She stood up the line, because she was too busy trying to get her idiot fucking friend who she goes to the gym with and who she saw earlier that day to get her order straight, because I guess 1 pm is coffee time, for cunts who just spend their days spending their husbands money. The worst fucking thing about all of this, was that the woman wasn’t even attractive. I am talking decent body because she has to maintain you know, but a face that would stop fucking traffic, or maybe just motivate a motherfucker like me, to run her down because of fear we were under some kind of Alien Attack and I was Will fucking Smith….

Posted in:Bikini|Tamara Mellon

2009

Apr

Music Video With a Naked Chick in It of the Day

1 Comment »

I have no idea who DJ Rockid is, but his video is alright. It’s something all you weirdos can probably relate to, you know because if features a a naked chick, you know, the one thing in the world you want to fuck and a puppet, the one thing you’ve actually fucked. The song is garbage, the chick reminds me of some Cuban prostitute who I once slept with because she didn’t realize she wasn’t in Cuba anymore, and was affordable, unfortunately, she was also unshowered, not that it really matters, showers are for assholes who are trying to hard to fit in, make friends and get laid, you know all that superficial stuff. I figure it’s just a waste of fuckin’ time and corporate America trying to convince we need to spend billions on beauty products. You can’t fool me Corporate America…..

Posted in:Music Video|Tits

2009

Apr

Kelly Osbourne Makin’ Out in the Pool of the Day

7 Comments »

Ugggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh. That’s really all I can say, because it is all my desensitized stomach feels in seeing these pictures, I assume that’s how the chair she’s sitting on feels too, you know all that and confusion, you know why is a gay dude up rubbin up on a cow, but more importantly, why doesn’t the cow have an actual bathing suit, but only frolicks in the water in what seems like little dresses. Is it because they don’t make bathing suits in cow size, or is it because the cow is insecure about its cow body, that’s can’t be possible, cows don’t feel insecure, they’re too busy being jacked on hormones and milked 24 hours a day….I don’t know where I am going with this, but I do know these pictures are disgusting and disturbing, I guess she’s just trying to live up to her dad’s horror / morbid / scare expectations.

Posted in:Kelly Osbourne|Making Out|Pool

2009

Apr

Pam Anderson Stuffing Her Face of the Day

2 Comments »

Here’s Pam Anderson shoving food in her mouth, she’s really good at shoving things in her mouth, you know with all that practice she’s had with random penis….cuz she’s a slut.. It’s only an obvious joke cuz it’s true haters.

Posted in:Eating|Face|Pam Anderson

2009

Apr

Heidi Klum Does German Vogue Photoshoot of the Day

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I think Heidi Klum is amazing. She’s an older mom and she still does what she did to me many years ago when I first heard about her. I know alot of you racists can’t handle the fact that she is married to a black man, you know because you are intimidated by black dick, but whenever I get down and out, I turn on some Seal and shit is so good it makes me want to fuck him, you know German scat styles, flinging shit at each other like we’re a couple of chimps, only to end up pinned up against the wall and ripped apart by his very large penis, like I was Heidi fucking Klum.

Here she is doing some photoshoot for some German Vogue shit, she’s lookin’ a little beat up, which isn’t that much of a shock, because German’s are insane and into that kind of thing. If there is blood, death and shit, it’s good to go….

Posted in:Heidi Klum|Model|Vogue