I guess Craigslist really does come in handy. I’ve used to it to look for concert tickets and new apartments whenever I plan on leaving my wife, but I guess I wasn’t tapping into it’s full potential, not that I’d want to get with a 14 year old boy, but I figured where’s there’s 14 year old male prostitutes hustlin, 18 year old female prostitutes aren’t too far behind…but the problem with 18 year old prostitutes is that you don’t get your name and picture on TV and the Internet makin’ you famous and everyone wants to be famous…watch this sick story.
Jessica Biel gets topless for her new movie where she plays a stripper, that is usually a move an actor takes when they are peaking and by peaking I mean on drugs because their careers have nose-dived and they are trying to hold on for their lives. You know a desperate.
Sure, everyone hates on her for being manly and hard bodied, but call me easy, she’s topless and I’m sold, penis in those sheer full back panties or in Justin Timberlakes ass or not. I don’t care, I’m just pissed that she’s rockin’those panties, because nothing pisses me off than going to a stripclub and the bitch on stage doesn’t get fully naked until the last 20 seconds of her second show because she thinks she’s better than stripping even though it pays her and her deadbeat boyfriend’s bills. Cunt.
Audrina is useless, she can’t even get a see through shirt moment right. What the fuck is this whore good for other than being a vapid little cunt who is making more money than most people for doing absolutely nothing, proving that maybe she’s a fucking genius and I’m the fucking vapid cunt and who really cares, I know I don’t, I am just trying to rush through the day because I’m ready for it to be the weekend again, or in my case, everyday, making that whole statement pretty much mean absolutely nothing.
BONUS – Here is the Into the Blue 2 Premiere of the Day because one Into the Blue Just wasn’t enough garbage to put on film and spend millions of dollars on….Spoiler Alert- Here’s The Plot……
Plot: A pair of professional divers are hired to find Columbus’ hidden treasure
With the success of Slumdog Millionaire, I guess the Bollywood stars of India have decided to jump on the fucking bandwagon and make their way to LA, the Land of Opportunity, to bring their Bollywood know-how to America and get paid serious money for it. You know, let the little Slummy kids break the market for them, on a bigger scale than the weirdos and native Indians who were their American audience to date.
I guess the takeover quest hasn’t been too lucrative for her, breaking into the Hollywood scene was harder than expected, even for an already established star in India, because otherwise I’d doubt she’d hit up an Ice Cream shop dressed like this, screaming fr attention and holding bananas, unless the guy who runs this Ice Cream shop tricked her into letting him show her the way to break into the scene and I gues sit wasn’t horrible advice because I just posted it and my site make stars and by stars I mean will do absolutely nothing for her.
BONUS – Slumdog Millionaire Kid Gets Sold of the Day
One of the stars of Slumdog who is actually from the slums of Mumbai was up on the auctionning block when her adoption papers and the starting bid was around 400,000 dollars, because you know she did contribute to the movie winning an Oscar and you know that movie did make motherfuckers in the slums want to get the fuck out of the slums, I don’t really see the big deal, if you make the kid you should do what you want with them and people should just be happy he hasn’t thrown her into the sex trade.
At least Shauna Sand doesn’t front that she’s not a whore. You gotta respect a bitch who dresses just as slutty in front of her kids and she does in the clubs, restaurants, grocery store, porn shoots, because it means she’s keeping it fucking real. There’s nothing more annoying than parking your car outside the stripclub at closing time because you can’t afford the cover charge to get in the place and the girls file out in their Juicy/Baby Phat sweat suits with fake Luis Vuiton bags filled with what I actually want to see them in and it’s safe to say that not once has a girl come out dressed like Shauna Sand. So maybe it’s time I start respecting her for giving me what I want when I am wasted and in the mood for trashy whores, even though it usually comes my way through pictures when I am sober.
I hate Lady Gaga. I hate her Nuclear Power Plant Meltdown face. I hate that she’s got a bigger dick than me and I hate that when I hear her sing, I feel like the sky is opening up and the gods are summoning me, until I listen to her lyrics and realize that she’s full of fucking shit. A tool used by the record label to target gays and this fake artist installation piece that is her life is getting fucking annoying. No matter what stunts she pulls she will remain totally uninteresting, uninspiring and a candy coated mockery of some culture I want nothing to do with. Let’s hope she gets Aids like the many faggots before her who paved the way for her.
Here’s the extent of my Coachella coverage because I wasn’t there and didn’t get to experience the “EVENT OF A FUCKING LIFETIME” first hand because I don’t give a fuck about that kind of shit, as I just mentioned in my other post. So far the only highlight I’ve found is a horrible upskirt shot of Joss Stone performing that doesn’t even get in a close enough view as when I stand under the stairs at the movie theater.
I was expecting Coachella coverage to include topless bitches, people getting raped in tents, fuckin’, blowjobs, groupies being ridiculous, but all I’ve got is this shitty upskirt, enjoy.
So it was Coachella this past weekend. Coachella is some bullshit music festival in the middle of the desert, where idiot hipsters, music snobs, followers, celebrities, the media and pretty much everyone make a point of going to. I don’t like music festivals because if I wanted to rub up against a lot of dirty, unshowered assholes, I’d just hit up the homeless shelter or wherever else unshowered people hang out. Music festivals are places I don’t belong. I hate crowds and I hate idiots and if I need to listen to music, I’ll just turn on the fuckin’ radio.
So doing what any media giant like myself would do, I google searched Coachella and came across this garbage party footage that has 1 view.
In it Carmen Electra says her birthday is today. So happy birthday goes out to her you know since all these years she’s given us the gift that is her tits.
Here’s another video called “Celebrities at Coachella” that I didn’t watch…
Here’s my prediction. Jewel’s husband Ty, the Rodeo champion is totally fucking this Chelsie Hightower bitch. She’s his dance partner, and based on my experience in clubs, if you dance a little too long or intensely with someone, it usually results in her bouncing on your dick, I mean if the roofies kick in properly and she’s fat.
So I assume that’s what’s going on here, otherwise she wouldn’t be playin’ it up like a little homewreckin’ slut in one of his fucking cowboy shirts she turned into a dress…. to let Jewel know where motherfucker spent the night last night.
Not that anyone cares about any of these people, I’m just trying to distract myself from the hell that I am living and the asshole kids outside my aparment who keep screaming “420” because they think smokin’ weed today warrants a fucking Broadway performance that annoys me.
Here’s a video of Kim Kardashian planning her wardrobe for her Workout DVD because I guess this is as close as she gets to ever working out, you know spending 6 hours planning her workout gear, getting exhausted by it, and going to get ice cream on the way, because that’s the only thing that would explain her body.
She’s got no business having a workout video, except if it is to motivate fat chicks into thinkin’ it’s okay being fat, like buying the DVD of her wearing athletic apparel and doin’ lame exercises that don’t work, because all this video really is, is a jerk off video for her male fans, who want to see her strugglin’, sweating and squatting in tight clothes.
The high heeled boots are a nice touch, that shit is always a hit at the fucking gym. You money grubbing cunt.
