I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

25

Jun

Tea Leoni Bikini Pictures of the Day

I used to find myself oddly attracted to Tea Leoni, that was up until today. I remember she used to be on some TV show before the dude for X-Files knocked her up and she fell off the map but she definitely had her window, a window that has been closed and remains closed but in honor of her year that she calls her glory days, here she is in a bikini top with her little STD.

Posted in:Bikini|Tea Leoni

2008

25

Jun

Karolina Kurkova is Too Fat to Model of the Day

What people don’t realize when they jerk off to these pictures of models in Sports Illustrated or their mom’s Victoria’s Secret catalog is that models aren’t hot in person. They are fucking scarey genetic freaks of nature that are look like they have these tight, nice bodies, but the second you stand next to them and realize you go up to their shoulders and that their shoulers are broader than you, that whole perspective changes.

I saw a picture that I can’t find of Kurkova a couple of weeks ago standing next to a normal sized girl and bitch looked like she was about to eat her. I knew then that this product of Chernobyl was not going to last long because her true very large colors were eventually going to be obvious to everyone.

Now, I hear that she’s losing her modeling contract unless she drops some weight and here are the pictures explaining why.

Posted in:Fat|Karolina Kurkova|Model

2008

25

Jun

Jessica Biel and Her Lesbian Haircut of the Day

Nothing says coming to terms with your lesbianism like rockin’ a fucking lesbian haircut and nothing says lesbian haircut like a femme-mullet. I don’t know what more you dudes need to believe the inevitable, it’s like you will only stop jerking off to her ripped body when you see videos of her slammin the shit out of Justin Timberlake with her huge cock.

It’s like that time that everyone told me that this dude I was hanging out with was into dudes and he’d always make subtle passes at me and I’d just blow it off like it wasn’t a thing because I had never caught him in the fucking act, I’d tell those naysayers they were fucking crazy, until one morning after passing out drunk at his house, I woke up with my cock in his mouth. Between you and me, I let him finish, but that’s just because I was half asleep and only fags turn down blowjobs, but what it came down to was that my friend was actually gay and I was just blind to it because he seemed like such a normal and cool guy.

So sometimes things can’t be laid out for you like that and you have to take the facts and come to your own conclusions and my conclusion is that Jessica Biel eats pussy.

Posted in:Haircut|Jessica Biel|Lesbian

2008

25

Jun

Britney Spears Stalker Bikini Pictures of the Day

The paparazzi are after me again, so I’ve been laying low. I got hit for every single post I did yesterday. You’d think they’d be too busy running after celebrities to bother with people like me, but I guess they’re making so much money off these fuckers they can afford a staff to cover all angles, and by all angles I mean climbing trees in Britney’s backyard to snap off these pics of her.

Either way, she’s in a bikini and people say she looks pregnant, I say she just looks fat, but the good kind of fat that isn’t floppy and cellulite ridden, so she’s not disgusting to look at. What is disgusting is that I heard that she’s still got an unborn 6 month old dead fetus in her from the last pregnancy that hasn’t been removed because she is emotionally attached to it or some shit and that story may be a lie but it at least it also explains the smell she’s been exuding. It’s one of those kill 2 birds with one AIDS dick situation.

Posted in:Bikini|Britney Spears

2008

25

Jun

stepLINKS of the Day

I got fan mail:

Seriously where was the line before you crossed it?

The things you write about her miscarriage are awful, if you wanna write shit about her being an ugly, pig faced, fat, talentless tool then go for it, i for one have no qualms with that, but the death of an unborn child is no laughing matter, and if by any long shot you are actually aware of this then you should take a long hard look at yourself, instead of making fun of the matter, obviously the bird is never going to see your site so it will affect her in no way, but anyone with any ounce of self respect should not be posting this about her.

I appreciate i sound like a fucking 55 year old church regular who helps serve fucking drinks on a sunday or whatever but I ask you please not to write that kind of shit, cuz i fucking love the site and 90% of the shit you write is funny as fuck, but as i said at the start, there was a line and it has been crossed.

I am in no way the fucking internet police or whatever but i’d like to visit your site and not have to scan shit like that.

My Response:

There are no lines to cross when the bitch in question smoked and drank while pregnant. End of story.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Here are my links that hopefully offend some of you….

Heather Locklear is Desperate for Attention, so She Decided to Check In To Rehab
GO

Helium Pants Seem Amazing, Though I’m Sure They Won’t Lift My Fat Ass Anywhere
GO

Ali Larter is Wearing Next to Nothing in Allure Magazine
GO

Anne Hathaway was Attacked for Being So Fucking Boring….
GO

Kate Moss Upskirt
GO

Whoose Boobs the Swimsuit Edition
GO

Some Crazy Fighting Robots Made by Some Japanese Kids Who Are Way Smarter Than You
GO

Hot Women Sucking Cigars:
GO

Some Facebook Leaked Pics of Mary Kate Olsen and Nicole Richie at Some Dude’s Birthday Acting Retarded and Drunk and Smoking…..
GO

10 Hottest Videos with Yoko Matsugane’s Huge Tits
GO

Theresa Moore is Bangable
GO

College Girls Vacation in Dildo Paradise
GO

Party Prank Goes Wrong
GO

The Best Soccer Goal Ever
GO

Make Losing Your Virginity a Reality
GO

Nicole Scherzinger Panty Upskirt Throwback
GO

Kim Kardashianís Juggs Come Up For Air
GO

Soldier Boy and Ice T Are Fighting Like a Couple of 7 Year Old Girls
GO

Prank Your Roomate With a Table and a Air Horn
GO

Some Broad Rides 2 Escalators at Once and It is Amazing
GO

Best Boob Trick I’ve Seen in Awhile
GO

Pool Dive Makes Danger Fun
GO

Superman Gets His Soldier Boy On
GO

Colbie Caillat is Fine, is that Girl Next Door Type of Way
GO

Gas Station Scuffle Leads to Knock Out
GO

The Best Porn on the Net, Hands Down. Your Pants.
GO

Say Hello to Heather and Friends
GO

Hottest Orgasm Ever Caught on Tape
GO

What Part of “If You don’t Stop Smoking, You Will Damage Your Lungs Forever” Does Amy Winehouse Not Understand?
GO

Anne Hathaway’s Ex Boyfriend Got Arrested Again for Fraud
GO

WTF is Beyonce Doing
GO

Playground Faceplant
GO

More Madonna Divorce Rumors
GO

Getting Sex Has Never Been Easier Then Before
GO GO

How Do You Say “Dirty Ass in Russian”?
GO

Tanya James is Dressed Up Like a Maid
GO

Puma and Faith Sho You What’s What
GO

Vida Guerra’s Ass Was in the Dodger’s Hollywood All-Stars Game
GO

That Crazy Fat Kid Whole Stole a Car and Beat Up His Grandma is Ready for His 15 Minutes
GO

Magali Montoro Gives Boners
GO

Check Out Some Tits in Zoo
GO

Caught on the Job
GO

Some Crazy Sluts in the Hooters Parking Lot
GO

Some Topless Pic of TNA Chick Named Shelly Salinas Martinez – Not Related to Me….
GO

Carmen Electra Gets Sexy Over Cards
GO

Body Parts Art: 5 Unique Ways to Use Your Body
GO

Sexiest Light Beer Ads
GO

Mark Ronson and Sean Lennon Watched Porn with Sean Lennon
GO

What’s Gayer than a Rainbow??
GO

Get to Know Brianna Frost
GO

Some Funny Porn Blocker Ads in Germany that You Will Like
GO

James Caan is Getting it on With Pam Anderson
GO

Celebrities and their Philanthropy is Bullshit
GO

Miss Boston 2008 Finalists
GO

Sluts Who Do What You Say
GO

The Funniest Pictures of Crocs You Will See This Week
GO

Some Big Brother Germany Chick Takes a Shower
GO

Barbie Cummings Wants You to Come a Little Closer
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FIND

Disneyworld, the Kids and a Whole Lot of Panty/Nude Pics
GO

Real Sluts Know How to Get the Job Done Right
GO

THE ANAL PLAY MINUTE OF THE DAY:

Some Dude Shoved a Cell Phone Up His Ass To Hide it From the Cops and He Failed
GO

Jack Black Shoved Cereal Up His Ass and Could Be the Cause of His Fat
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

24

Jun

Alyssa Milano Hot Naked Video The Way We Like Her…of the Day

Here’s a video of Alyssa Milano Naked in some recent movie called Pathology. Her nude scene is her dead and getting cut open in some sort of autopsy and it’s pretty fucking sick but you can still see pussy. I assume that some of you are fucked up enough to find this hot as you spent most of your childhood killing your neighborhood cats and other random animals that would cross paths with you and you haven’t quite moved onto bigger things yet, because you aren’t that much of a psycho and you just leave the psychotic thoughts for your masturbation.

I was talking to my friend the other day and he told me about how he plays a game called “Would You” with his friends. It’s basically where different scenarios are laid out and you decide whether you’d d fuck the chick or not. One of the weirder ones was if you’re driving down an old dirt road in the middle of nowhere and you come across a passed out 18 year old hot girl in a mini skirt is lying on the side road like she had been hit by a car or something and you pull over to help her, do you bang her or do you call or help or do you bang her then call for help. I guess fucking a passed out chick is a lot less disgusting than fucking a dead chick, most of the chicks I’ve banged were passed out by by booze or drugs and not by getting hit by a car, so I wouldn’t do it and I’d get her help, but I bet you’re not as wholesome as me you horny fuckin’ creep.

Posted in:Alyssa Milano|Dead|Naked

2008

24

Jun

Lohan Eating Burger of the Day

Here are some pictures of Lohan eating a burger, it’s something she’s pretty good at because she’s given up Hot Dogs and has been practicing a lot. You should take notes, I hear its an easy way to keep that fat chick your fucking around for a few more rounds, but that’s just because fat chicks love food.

My lesbian jokes suck but I heard this one the other day:

What do you call a lesbian with big fingers:
-well hung

That one’s better than mine, it’s kinda the story of my life.

Posted in:Burger|Lindsay Lohan

2008

24

Jun

Kobe Bryant’s Ass of the Day

Sure being married has nothing on raping young chicks in hotel rooms, because they want to make a couple extra bucks by dragging your name through the mud and you want to cum, but at least marriage is a constant. Something that never seems to go away no matter how badly you wish it did because you hate your wife more than you hate yourself and every little thing she does makes you want to jump off the fire escape of your third floor shit-hole of an apartment, even her smell and the way she breathes gets under your skin leading you to reach for the bottle because it’s the only way you can deal with the fact that she won’t get a divorce because she finds it embarrassing and admitting failure and even if she did want a divorce you wouldn’t be able to afford your modest lifestyle because her disability check is your life support. It’s a fucking trap or prison sentence at least that’s what I’ve heard.

Here are some pictures of Kobe Bryant’s wife’s ass in a bikini.

Posted in:Ass|Kobe Bryant

2008

24

Jun

Kristen Bell Bending and Stretching of the Day

I know you want to fuck Kristen Bell and it must bother you to see her bending and stretching for one of two reasons. Either she’s sore from how hard Dax Shepard slammed the shit out of her, or she’s preparing to bang the shit out of him. It’s the excitement of young love where sex is the priority and you can’t get your hands off each other no matter where you are because the raw sexual energy takes over all levels of thought and logic and it must be pretty painful for you to watch because the only thing raw in your sex life is your dick for rubbin’ it down to the bone.

Either way you can be happy to know she’s rockin’ the birth control patch on her leg so that this cocksucker Dax doesn’t accidentally pollute her womb with his spawn that I can only assume will be a lot easier to hate than him.

Posted in:Kristen Bell|Yoga

2008

24

Jun

Katherine Heigl is in her Bikini Again of the Day

This is the third set of pictures that hit of Katherine Bell in her bikini on vacation and it’s come to the point where it is just gratuitous. I guess she figures the more she puts herself out there the more likely we’ll get used to the mess that is her ass and decided that she’s hot and worth fucking. It’s like the immediate shock we once had of her cellulite ridden legs is behind us and we’ve come to terms with things, digested them and are ready to cum on her face. It’s a decent strategy that reminds me of everytime I show a girl my penis and she looks at it with disgust but after a few months and a few drinks and some sweet talking she decides small or not it’s worth taking for a ride because there’s nothing else around at there’s a gun pointed at my head. Nothing like being the enforcer of good times.

Posted in:Bikini|Katherine Heigl