DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2007

27

Sep

I am – Danielle Lloyd Ass Flash Pictures of the Day

I saw these picture of Danielle Lloyd the other day and wasn’t too impressed, because the ass flash picture wasn’t released. I don’t remember who she is, probably from Big Brother UK but I do know that she’s one of those chicks who constantly exposes herself and when I see her name in the boards I rip my pictures off of, usually means a guaranteed post…

Reality is that I like slutty lookin girls who dress in revealing clothes. I like girls who show off their bodies and don’t wear panties. I like being with girls who like to flash their bodies and their body parts discreetly even though they usually suck in bed, but watching other guys get hard over them is a total power trip. Unfortunately that hasn’t happened since I got one of my chicks to not wear panties one night and discreetly expose the shit, but that was a long fucking time ago….

I also like girls who like sex. So I spent the last hour sitting on a park bench outside a maternity store. I do this sometimes because I like to let the girls know that I know what they’ve been up to by giving them dirty looks or creepy smirks. In my head I think to myself how that bitch let a dude bust nut inside her and smile and I know she knows I know she let some dude bust in her and that in a few months so will the rest of the world….it’s kinda like she’s released a sex tape or has starred in a porn flick that I’ve never seen, but I still know she was in it.

Here are those Danielle Lloyd pics.

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2007

27

Sep

I am – Jamie Lynn Spears Cleavage of the Day

2 Comments »

The funny thing about these young celebrities is that being the hot underage chick who will eventually become a drunken disaster of a slut is like a role written by Hollywood, but as time moves on, a new actress takes on the role, so every year that’s a switch of characters and I sit here feeling like I am watching the same story unfold and it is like visiting the same strip club every month to see the same stripper do the same routine to the same fucking song. It is pretty much the equivalent of being locked in a room watching Seinfeld reruns over and over again only the rerun is always the same episode, but Seinfeld is played by some other Jew.

Sometimes you want to believe that this one is different, you want to think that she’ll break through and make it like a normal person just to switch things up a bit and keep us guessing. Sometimes you want to think that the cliche is just a cliche and that not everyone falls into the parameters society has set for them but what it all comes down to is that people are all the same and when faced with the same opportunity and struggles and their egos are fed the same way and the money comes in at the same speed and the interest from men comes in at the same time, they react in the same way.

I guess what I am trying to say is that new blood can be exciting and is welcomed, and it means a future of many new vagina lip slips, new nipple slips, DUIs, sex scandals and sex tapes and I guess I should be more welcoming to that, because the only thing better than pussy is new pussy and because otherwise I’d have nothing write about…But sometimes I like to think someone out there will surprise me. I still haven’t grasped that people are all the same and they always let me down, even when I don’t know them and they are just pictures on my computer, I still like to hope they are different because there’s no fun in knowing exactly how their public life will pan out, so I guess for this Jamie Lynn bitch, it’s just a matter of time, so until she turns 18, I’ll play the waiting game even though she’s not even that hot, but I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…I have no standards….

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Posted in:cleavage|Jamie Lynn Spears|Underage|Unsorted

2007

27

Sep

I am – Kristen Bell in a Bikini on the Set of Heroes of the Day

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I don’t watch Heroes, because I am not into the whole hero bullshit. I don’t believe in them. I am more into self absorbed pricks who don’t give a fuck about anyone, even themselves and drink themselves into an early grave while trying to bring everyone around them down with them. So I didn’t know who Kristen Bell was, but she was spotted in a bikini, so now I do and feel like a much better person for it, and by better I mean like a virgin. Because every time I post bikini pics, I always feel like a fag who can’t get pussy and who sits at home obsessing over bitches like the other people with these kinds of sites and reality is that I honestly don’t give a fuck about them or about them in bikinis. There is perfectly good pussy right outside my door for me to invite over to try on bikinis, but I do it for you, because I know you’re struggling so I guess in a lot of ways, that makes me a hero…unlike the buzz-killing asshole who’s covering her up with his gayer than Ellen pink blanket….

Here are them there pics.

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Posted in:Bikini|Heroes|Kristen Bell|Unsorted

2007

26

Sep

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

2 Comments »

Someone emailed me the weirdest email from South Africa telling me how much my links suck because there are so many of them. I realize that people in South Africa are at the cutting edge of pretty much nothing but I do post a lot of links, but I figure what the fucks the difference you just have to scroll over the shit you don’t like to click the shit you do like. I guess I’ll try to scale shit down a little more in future, not to keep assholes happy but because it means less work for me. I am hoping my server issues are sorted out so that tomorrow I am back in full force. In the meantime I am going to get the fuck out my house because my wife’s makin’ me feel sick to my stomach.

I am going to go out to a club, but a bottle of champagne and buy all the pussy in the place to make me feel better about that, only instead of champagne I’ll be buying a 2 for 1 beer special and instead of buying all the pussy, I’ll probably make friends with an old Irish drunk dude with a limp….My life is awesome.

Here are my links:

Iran is Faaaabulous Video
GO

Heidi Montag was Willing to Die for Fake Tits
GO

Whoose Boobs Latina Edition
GO

This Dude Eats Anything
GO

Britney Video Inside the Public Bathroom Asking the Paparazzi to Get Her a Sandwich Cuz She Can Only Shit When She Eats Quiznos
GO

Britney Looks Like a Fucking Wreck
GO

Oscar De La Hoya and His Internet Lover Helga
GO

Elisabetta Gregoraci in a Thong Bikini
GO

Some 2 Year Old Geography Genius
GO

Racists Want to Kill Halle Berry’s Baby
GO

Beyonce’s Full Half Naked Amex Commercial
GO

Weird Video With a Hot Chick in a Thong and a Midget Picking Up The Garbage
GO

Jailbail Warning – Victoria Justice
GO

Remember Jessica Alba’s See Through Shirt
GO

Lohan’s Leaving Rehab
GO

Kelly Brooke Topless in Arena Magazine
GO

Paris Hilton Will Never Do Letterman Again Because He Teased Her
GO

Geri Halliwell Topless/Nude Pics from a While Ago But Still Worth Checking Out
GO

Some Strip Club Lesbian Orgy
GO

Some Petra Nemcova All Dolled Up Lookin’ Hot
GO

A Little Trishelle Bikini Action
GO

Here is the World’s Sexiest Weather Girl
GO

Some Vintage Phoebe Price
GO

Fastest Handjob By a Japanese Girl
GO

Christina Aguilera’s Wearing a See-Through Top Showing Off her Pregnancy Belly and Leopard Print Bra
GO

Christina Aguilera’s Perfume Launch Preview
GO

Pam Anderson Can’t Stop Partying
GO

Some Ashley Tisdale Music Video
GO

Elton John Gets on of my Favorite Photographer’s Picture Seized Because The Female Models May Have Been Underage
GO

Kate Bowsworth in Mom Jeans
GO

Kate Moss is Getting Married
GO

Jessica Alba Might Be Pregnant
GO

1010 Girls in Bikinis on the Beach To Break Some Record
GO

Tome Cruise and Katie Holmes Have Trouble in Paradise Because He is Gay
GO

Some Compilation of Crazy Faces….
GO

Stinky Pussy Makes This Porn Dude Puke – NSFW
GO

Some Foot Fetish Albums on Photobucket
GO

A Little Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Another Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Some Dude Gets His Dick Chopped off For Comparing His First Wife’s Sex Skills To His Second Wife’s Sex Skills.
GO

Photobucket Smut
GO

More Photobucket Smut
GO

And Even More Photobucket Smut
GO

Some Nudity in this 1970’s Vietnam Hippie Movie Trailer
GO

Download the New Foo Fighters CD
GO

Pre Release of PJ Harvey’s CD
GO

Some Ariel Rebel Masturbing Action
GO

Some Chick Named Victoria Vass in Penthouse
GO

Pornstar Squirt Got a 72
GO

Use This Spray to Get Laid
GO

Use this to Find Girls to Get Laid By
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

26

Sep

I am – Hometown Hotties Finalist Gillian of the Day

1 Comment »

When I go out partying I have pretty high standards for chicks. I don’t like to look at ugly people, because I am forced to look at my ugly wife all day, and everyday ugly people just don’t exist to me, other than my wife, but I only notice her because of her sleep apnea and the sounds she makes while eating. Anyway, when I go to the bars I tend to go to, hot is few and far between. Sometimes I catch myself looking at my fat man tits wondering how good they’d look in a push-up bra, but I still go out hoping to see hot ass.

The same goes for Hotties contests. When I look to a Hotties contest, I want to see Hotties, and maybe hotties are hard to come across these days, I still want to see them. I am not sure how Gillian made the cut, but I can assume that she’s got a team of monkeys voting for her 24/7 because that’s what they do in Bakersfield California. The only other explanation is that she did work for Disneyland in Hong Kong and we all know that Disney makes dreams come true, because he was a pedophile and that line worked on all the kids he seduced with his cartoons, but either something magical went down.

Don’t get me wrong, Gillian is ok looking, but she’s not Hometown Hottie material and I have no idea how she made it into the top 10. First off she’s 5 ft 2, not 5 ft 2 and 95 lbs can be cute to look at because lots of guys do like smaller chicks to have as girlfriends, but I don’t think anyone who looks like a little 12 year old elf could be called hot or categorized as a hottie even with that magic push up bra, but I’d still let her change my diaper when playing infantilism sex games….I think she should be disqualified and that’s enough for the review because Maxim is going to sue me if I keep this up much longer because I already know who I want to win.

Only 2 more Hometown Hotties to go….

Related:

Check Out Gillian’s Profile

Check Out The Maxim Hometown Hotties Contest

Previous Hometown Hottie stepREVIEWs:

ERIN
LETICIA
KENDA
JUDA
JAIME
NICKI
ROBERTA

Posted in:Gillian|Hometown Hotties Review|Maxim|stepREVIEW|Unsorted

2007

26

Sep

I am – Kim Kardashian’s Mom Jeans of the Day

3 Comments »

I was at a bar the other day and I saw 2 chicks making out with each other. They were like half-breed lesbians who didn’t think it was funny when I moved in and asked for a 3-way kiss. They were too busy being into each other and it was pretty much a waste of a hot chick. She looked really hot in her tight skirt and cleavage exposing shirt and the way she moved made her look like a dirty little fuck. She on this sexually liberated experimental kick that girls go through, but she wasn’t in the mood for any cock. Not that I had any cock to offer but they were blowing off dudes from every angle. I don’t think they were pulling the whole frat boy chick making out thing to get guys to look at them but I do think they were legitimately into each other and not doing it for attention, but because they were drunk and horny and were going to go home to fuck the shit out of each other in the scissor stance. I didn’t find it hot to watch and refused to watch the spectacle because I can’t deal with hot lesbians who turn down cock. I can deal with lesbians who look like dudes and wear leather because they are just man hating rape victims and shit, but hot lesbians who I want to fuck but who don’t want anything to do with me or any other penis for that matter but hot chicks who who are into other hot chicks and refuse dick just piss me the fuck off.

Either way, Kardashian may not be into girls and she may be into black dude cock, because black guys are good at working the huge fucking asses but she’s rockin’ a pair of mom jeans, that make her ass look even bigger than usual and that remind me more of the man hating lesbians who work construction and drink been than the hot little sluts who don’t like dudes who I saw the other day. Both are equally annoying.

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2007

26

Sep

I am – Kim Kardashian's Mom Jeans of the Day

3 Comments »

I was at a bar the other day and I saw 2 chicks making out with each other. They were like half-breed lesbians who didn’t think it was funny when I moved in and asked for a 3-way kiss. They were too busy being into each other and it was pretty much a waste of a hot chick. She looked really hot in her tight skirt and cleavage exposing shirt and the way she moved made her look like a dirty little fuck. She on this sexually liberated experimental kick that girls go through, but she wasn’t in the mood for any cock. Not that I had any cock to offer but they were blowing off dudes from every angle. I don’t think they were pulling the whole frat boy chick making out thing to get guys to look at them but I do think they were legitimately into each other and not doing it for attention, but because they were drunk and horny and were going to go home to fuck the shit out of each other in the scissor stance. I didn’t find it hot to watch and refused to watch the spectacle because I can’t deal with hot lesbians who turn down cock. I can deal with lesbians who look like dudes and wear leather because they are just man hating rape victims and shit, but hot lesbians who I want to fuck but who don’t want anything to do with me or any other penis for that matter but hot chicks who who are into other hot chicks and refuse dick just piss me the fuck off.

Either way, Kardashian may not be into girls and she may be into black dude cock, because black guys are good at working the huge fucking asses but she’s rockin’ a pair of mom jeans, that make her ass look even bigger than usual and that remind me more of the man hating lesbians who work construction and drink been than the hot little sluts who don’t like dudes who I saw the other day. Both are equally annoying.

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2007

26

Sep

I am – Jennie Garth Cleavage Pictures of the Day

2 Comments »

My server is a fucking whore and has been acting up the last 2 years. I am told the company is working on a fix but that means that I don’t have a site right now and it’s a pretty scary thought that you can lose everything you work for in about a minute, not that I really work, but you know what I mean.

Speaking of not working, here’s Beverly Hills 90210 superstar Jennie Garth, a little older and a little poorer since she hasn’t got a pay check in 10 years, but at least she’s rockin’ some cleavage.

I met a girl the other day while getting a lap dance who was a trained dancer. She spent her life in ballet school and lived the disciplined and strict life. She couldn’t make any money doing it and loved dancing so much that now she’s an over qualified stripper and I got to grab her ballerina tits for 10 dollars.

The other strippers didn’t like her because of her artistic approach to the pole. Shit was like watching some kind of artistic cultural event and this tattooed whore who learned here moves watching music videos and porn ended up punching her in the face for being such a fag while I was there. I guess there’s something hot about a stripper with a black eye who does ballet, it kinda adds to the whole “crying scene” in her routine…and I know you get off to chicks who look beat up because you’re weird.

Here are Jennie Garth’s tits, because she may be an actor out of work but she’s still got a vagina.

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2007

26

Sep

I am – Kristin Cavallari Bikini Pictures of the Day

No Comments »

One of my readers just emailed me giving me shit for waking up at 2 pm. I guess I am living the life of a useless degenerate slob and I would be disgusted by myself if I was an outsider lookin’ in, but sleeping in until 2 pm is one of life’s luxuries when you don’t have a job. It’s like being a 15 year old all over again.

The reality is that I am a degenerate loser who is usless and a slob, but I didn’t wake up at 2 pm, but I could have if I wanted to because I am unemployed. I actually woke up at 8:30 and went downtown to watch girls in their work clothes walking around, rushing to get to their jobs, drinkin’ their morning coffees in the pinstripe skirts, talkin on their cellulars, smoking their cigarettes and the whole experience was like porno.

I like doing this every couple of days because it makes me happy to know that the world has changed so much that women have been taken out of the kitchen and dropped into the workforce. It breeds strong financially independent women who are either too busy to want to get locked down so they just have one-night stands over and over again because they think the Sex in the City dream is as glamourous as they made it out to be on TV, without realizing that it’s a TV show and real life doesn’t work like that, and that they are just sad lonely whores with respectable jobs that can afford to get their hair done, and nice enough clothes and a personal trainer so that men with money can try to seduce them by taking them out to fancy places, because even girls in their mid-20s are influenced by the media and once they do get locked down because they realize that TV lied to them and that they were miserable being independent whores but still want to keep focus on their career, that means the guy can stay home at let them pay their way….It’s a welcomed societal change. Until they leave you for a co-worker and you have to go on welfare.

Here are some bikini pictures of Kristin Cavallari on set, because her work clothes are a bikini…..but then again doing what she does isn’t really a work…it’s more like getting paid to have a good time while all you other fuckers are out working hard for a fraction of her money and based on the facial expressions she’s making, she’s a worse actor that my 5 year old neighbor who played Santa in his Christmas Pageant..and this movie will be worse than having to sit through his play even though he was more believable that role than this over exaggerated mess. Enjoy.

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2007

26

Sep

I am – Kristin Cavallari Dressed Like a Slut of the Day

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Here are some Kirstin Cavallari pictures from the set of some movie she’s working on. Yeah, it’s hard to believe that she’s working on a movie but I can only assume it will be one of the shittiest movies ever made….

I went to a strip club recently and when I was there the girl was wearing a similar outfit to Cavallari’s. She was in cut off jean shorts and had a push up bikini top and she looked like she was pretty hot, until the clothes came off and I realized she was dumpy as fuck. I am not into discriminating bitches for being dumpy, because all pussy is worth at least lookin’ at, but when she got on stage she was a wreck of a performer. She kept tripping and falling all over herself. When she did her pole tricks she kept hitting her head on the ground and she almost kicked the dude I was with in the face. She got on all fours to do the booty bounce because it’s popular but couldn’t manage it and just looked like she was flexing her ass muscles and lookin at a flexed chick ass is one of the least sexy things out there. There was nothing hot about the performance and I laughed at least twice.

I like to think Kristin Cavallari is a lot like that stripper. She’s not that talented or good at what she does, but she doesn’t realize it and still gets on the screen for people to watch and laugh at, but when she’s sitting around in a push up bikini top and short cut off jean shorts, I got no problem lookin’ at her tits….

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