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Archive for the Bikini Category

2008

09

Jun

Ashley Alexandra Dupre in a Bikini of the Day

Here’s a whore in a bikini who is actually an official whore and not just some girl trying to look like a whore since it’s all trendy. This is the bitch from Girls Gone Wild Underage Lesbian Experience to High Class Escort to Jewish Rich Men in Politics because she is a beauty that only a Jewish dude would fall for and by fall for, I mean pay 5,000 dollars an hour because his wife back at home, who stopped showing of her Jewish Summer Camp blowjob skills the day they got married looks like a fucking monster and because Ashley Alexandra Dupre’s smart and told him she’s normally 10,000 dollars an hour and everyone knows a Jew can’t turn down a good deal.

Posted in:Ashley Alexandra Dupre|Bikini

2008

09

Jun

Abigail Clancy Gets Topless in a Bikini of the Day

Here’s some import I’ve never heard of topless. Other people are posting it, despite it’s shitty quality and the non-inspiring nature of a chick topless at the beach or tanning because chicks should always be topless and making a big deal out of it is so virginal that it makes girls think topless is a bigger deal than it is because assholes like you will always be there to gawk in awe while stroking your boner over a fucking nipple, making the whole fucking experience really uncomfortable for everyone, especially the girl involved who just wants to be topless in peace and by peace I mean, while I stare at her from afar with a pair of binoculars.

Either way, if I didn’t post it, I’d be an inadequate blogger and despite already knowing that, I figure I’ll try to trick you into thinkin’ otherwise.

Posted in:Abigail Clancy|Bikini|Topless

2008

06

Jun

Brody Jenner Gets His Pussy In a White Bikini of the Day

The thing I like about Brody Jenner is that he realizes no one gives a fuck about him and has gone so far as to brand his entire body with his name as some kind of billboard in hopes that the name resonates with some people and they turn to each other and say “Jenner, that sounds familiar, isn’t there someone on TV named Jenner” causing some kind of disagreement that leads them approaching the motherfucker to settle the bet they are having and sometimes that means vagina gets thrown his way because girls seem to care about that shit more than dudes do.

Yesterday, you saw him with his robot corpse looking plastic surgery ridden mother and his hot bikini model he’s fucking, and here are some more pics of them day 2 only she’s in a white bikini which is pretty much my favorite kind of bikini because they usually are semi-see through while the girl wearing it has no idea and unsuspecting flashing is the best kind of flashing, like all the times I drop my pen at Starbucks to crawl around under the tables when really I am just panty hunting. I am deceiving like that.

Posted in:Bikini|Brody Jenner|Cora Skinner

2008

05

Jun

Brody Jenner’s Mom is in a Bikini of the Day

Brody Jenner has a mother and she’s got a fuckin’ tight body. I am not sure if it’s a side-effect of the valium popping and an addiction to cocaine like most classy chicks, but I like to think she’s just natural beauty with a rock solid face that cares about her health enough to schedule 4 hour workout sessions with her 20-something personal trainer who she’s fucking and by personal trainer, I mean plastic surgeon.

I kinda feel bad for Brody Jenner, because having a mom this solid is a fucking curse because your first masturbation fantasies take place with a pair of her dirty panties on your face and your recent memories of walking in on her in the shower and that’s gotta fuck with your head a bit, something I am sure you know a lot about since your mom’s tits are bother the first and last set of tits you’ve sucked.

BONUS – Some Pictures of his Girlfriend Cora Skinner in a Bikini, But Why Would You Want to See Her After You’ve Just Seen His Mom, That’s Like choosing cheese in a can to top your cracker instead of the caviar…..you ghetto fuck.

Posted in:Bikini|Brody Jenner|Cora Skinner|Mom

2008

03

Jun

Brooke Mueller is Charlie Sheen’s Wife and This is Her in a Bikini of the Day

Charlie Sheen got married to some ex-actor turned real estate agent named Brooke Mueller because I can only assume he knocked her up and is doing the noble thing or because he doesn’t want to pay the outrageous commissions real estate agents demand, especially on multi-million dollar homes.

Here they are on their honeymoon and she is wearing some boring shorts bikini bottoms that you’d expect to see all the 12 year old girls at your neighbor’s daughter’s birthday party wearing and not so much what you’d want the bitch you just committed yourself for life to, and in Charlie Sheen’s case, life is more like by the hour. I guess you can’t blame him, whores don’t annoy you with all that kissing and cuddling bullshit, it’s more of a getting right down to business like it should be and none of this spending the same amount you’d spend on a whore a day but on one slut who disguises herself as your wife and takes you to the cleaners after you divorce because she catches you running around behind her back with less demanding whores.

Posted in:Bikini|Brooke Mueller|Charlie Sheen|Wedding

2008

03

Jun

Helen Hunt Rocks Out in her Old Lady Bikini of the Day

Saying Helen Hunt looks amazing for her age in a bikini is pretty much the equivalent of saying little Tommy the retarded kid is the quickest learner at the retard home. Despite not being disgustingly fat, bitch is still old and washed up, like little Tommy who’s managed to learn how to change his own diaper when no one is around is still out shitting his fucking retard pants. If you know what I mean.

Either way, here she is in a bikini for those of you still holding onto you Mad About You sexual fantasies because you have both a hard time getting over things and horrible taste in women. At least now you can tell all the fuckers who used to say you couldn’t do two things at once that they are so wrong about you.

Posted in:Bikini|Helen Hunt

2008

02

Jun

Jessica Alba Has Some Pregnancy Bikini Pictures of the Day

Whenever I see Jessica Alba pregnant, all I can think of is the bear trap that is her vagina because I remember reading about how she got pregnant to trap Cash Warren into staying with her, because despite how many dudes want to get with her, she’s still a girl and being a girl makes her not realize that she’s got a ton of guys who want to get with her because all her attention is focused on the one guy who doesn’t want to be with her after already banging her. Either way,, she’s pregnant in a bikini and I know I could probably write something vulgar or maybe even funny, but why bother, I’ve pretty much given up on life, kinda like Jessica Alba will when she realizes that guys everywhere will only want to get with her now because of her fat wallet and not because of her fat, stretchmarked, gaping vagina.

Posted in:Bikini|Jessica Alba|Pregnancy

2008

29

May

Sarah McLachlan’s in a Bikini of the Day

If you aren’t sitting at home jerking off to hot young chicks half naked on So You Think You Can Dance and you are surfing the internet looking for post-pregnancy bikini pics of the woman who brought you the song “In the Arms of an Angel”, a song you are very familiar with because it runs through your head every time you jerk off while crying to yourself because you are the only person who loves you and because you know all your dead relatives are up there laughing at you in your moment of shame.

Either way, Sarah McLachlan, along with Dan Akroyd and my wife, prove that Canadians don’t do much more than sit around and eat bacon all day and these bikini pictures look like she’s been spending a little too much time behind the piano and not enough time doing squats with the piano, unless you consider the night she got knocked up, which probably involved a decent amount of bouncing on dick, not that I am one to talk, the internet has made me unable to do much more than make fun of fat asses I’d still like to fuck because my heart can handle the stain of doing much else…

I guess the good news in all this is that her belly button means business as it looks like it is screaming for her to cover the fuck up because it is self conscious about how big it is, something you have never really related to, if you know what I mean, which you do. Little penis man. Yes, I am talking to myself again, I’m pretty much the only person who listens to me.

Posted in:Bikini|Sarah McLachlan

2008

29

May

Heidi Montag in her Staged Bikini Pics Drinking Champagne with Her Boyfriend of the Day

Heidi Montag lives a fake life, stars on a fake reality TV show, has fake tits and fake lips, it seems like the only thing real about her is that she is real ugly, I guess she’s also real useless and a real waste of space and if I think that is irony, but then again I never know how to properly identify irony and I blame Alanis Morissette for that. Here she is in some staged pictures with her fake boyfriend where she rocks a bikini, shows off her pretty fit lookin body and pokes out her ass to lure in her male fans like a baboon in heat. I can only assume they are drinking champagne to celebrate how much of a cunt she is, but it’s probably more to do with showing the world just how classy this piece of trash can get because America are suckers and have given her a purpose in life, when she’d be better off taking her insecure horse head to the local strip club where she belongs.

Posted in:Bikini|Heidi Montag

2008

28

May

More Mel B Bikini Pics from the Other Day of the Day

These Mel B pictures are from yesterday, so knowing you and your pervert ways, you’ve probably already seen them, I figured I’d post them anyway because I liked the grip the dude’s got on this bitch’s ass. It’s like dude landed this down on her luck single mother because her comedian boyfriend didn’t want to take any responsibility for the baby because he felt like she tricked him by turning the condom inside out to get knocked up to get what she wanted after he got what he wanted . So after her dreams of a picket fence future turned upside down and a whole legal battle to prove the baby was his, this dude moved in on her knowing she was an easy target because he was desperate for love making her willing to do anything to keep him around and by anything I mean she put out alot. Sure her pussy wasn’t as tight as it once was, but beggars can’t be choosers and it’s not everyday that this kind of lottery win happens.

Posted in:Bikini|Mel B